Chapter Eleven
Luthin found his eldest brother outside the stables, leaning against the wall with a look of utter confusion on his face. He paused a moment to take in the sight of his brother and thought about the Kelderas he had once known, before the orcs had stolen away their lives. Kelderas had been the elf Luthin had always wanted to be, and still tried to be. He was smart, brave, wise, and uncannily witty. But since returning home, he had found a new Kelderas waiting for him. One that seemed to wear the weight of the world on his heart. He didn't like this new Kelderas.
"Lost your horse?" Luthin asked jokingly as he approached his brother after a moment's observation. Kelderas looked up, a bit surprised that he hadn't noticed his brother's approach. But when he saw that it was Luthin, he straightened himself and held his chin a bit higher.
"Of course not," he answered. "I was thinking about the patrol I'll be leaving with tomorrow." After the sentence left his mouth, he seemed to want to take it back, as if he'd given too much information. Luthin noticed this.
"Worried?" He asked gently.
"No," Kelderas answered a bit too stiffly. He turned around and closed the gate to the stables before starting to make his way to the training fields. Luthin followed, quickly getting into step with his brother. "Have the mentors talked to you yet?" Kelderas changed the subject.
"Yes," Luthin gave. He bit his lip. Kelderas turned to look at Luthin with a raised eyebrow. "I'll start my advanced training in a week." Luthin tried to contain his excitement. Along with Luthin, fifteen others had been advanced, including Losmor, which had been exceedingly surprising to Luthin, but he didn't question the mentors. Perhaps they had seen something in the older trainee that had made them believe he was worth moving along.
Kelderas stopped abruptly and turned to look at his brother. A false smile spread across his face. "Congratulations are in order, I suppose," he said softly. "I'm sorry I won't be here for the ceremony…"
"That's what I was coming to speak with you about, actually," Luthin said, feeling the happiness ebb out of his system. "Ada doesn't think it is a good idea you go on this patrol. He says he thinks you will be of more use here, at home."
Kelderas' eyes flashed with annoyance suddenly and his face lost all humor. "You and Adar spoke of my decision to join a patrol?" He snapped.
Luthin frowned. "Your decision?" He asked. He hadn't known that it was Kelderas' decision to join a patrol. He'd thought that he'd been assigned to one. But he didn't have time to ask more about it, for Kelderas interrupted him rather abruptly.
"It was my decision, Luthin," he said through grit teeth. "I cannot stay in the palace forever and do nothing while my sword's lust for battle goes unanswered."
"Kelderas, I didn't…"
"And it is not your place to comment on my decisions with our Adar. He doesn't know what's best for me or for this kingdom for that matter. He would sit back and do nothing and I will not be like him…"
"Kelderas, you're being childish!" Luthin chided.
Kelderas' eyes widened and he gave his brother a harsh shove. "Is it childish to wish to cleanse our kingdom of darkness?"
"No, but that's not what you want to do," Luthin yelled, ignoring the fact that his voice was raised. "You would go off an pretend to be fighting for Mirkwood, but instead you fight for yourself. You're being selfish Kelderas. Don't you think that we all want to kill the orcs who took away Naneth? You're being childish and selfish and stupid!"
Kelderas paused only a moment before roughly shoving his brother in the chest. Luthin, feeling the heat of Kelderas' anger, and some of his own, reacted without thinking and lunged for his brother. He hit him in the midsection and the two went down in a flurry of fists and yells. They rolled around on the ground for a bit, Kelderas trying to get Luthin's weight off of his gut. He finally managed to get leverage and propelled his brother backwards. He came forward and quickly subdued Luthin, who was on his stomach with his face pushed into the ground and his arm twisted awkwardly behind his back. Kelderas sat on Luthin's lower back with his head near Luthin's ear.
"I do not ask you to take up a sword and defend what we have lost for I know that you have not the skills yet to do so," Kelderas whispered harshly, his voice a soft hiss. "But I do ask you to at least feel something for the loss we have suffered. She was out Naneth, Luthin, cruelly tortured and mutilated and you have not shed a single tear for her."
"I do not let the grief swallow me!" Luthin's strained voice yelled out.
"You do not feel the grief at all!" Kelderas screamed back, twisting Luthin's arm back further, emiting a small yelp from the younger brother.
"What is going on here?" Came a loud, booming voice suddenly. Kelderas immediately let go of Luthin and stood up, straightening his tunic as he did so. Luthin picked himself up off of the ground a bit slower, feeling an ache in his arm, but knowing that no real harm had been done.
Thranduil marched towards them, his face wore an expression of anger and shock. Lord Elrond followed at a distance, but he looked less angry, instead, a bit intrigued. When Thranduil stood before the two brothers, Kelderas opened his mouth to explain but Thranduil waved his hand, silencing him.
"Attend me," Thranduil spat angrily.
The two brothers hesitated a moment, never before having been called to do so before. They had attended to Thranduil before, but always out of their own accord for they knew when they had disobeyed him. But neither brother had thought it necessary this time. They had quarreled before and had always just taking a scolding, never a formal dressing down.
Simultaneously, the brothers fell to a knee and held their right hands over their heart, their heads bowed slightly to look at Thranduil's feet. Once there, they waited nervously for Thranduil to say something. Luthin felt his body shaking. He wasn't sure if it was the adrenaline leaving him or the fear of what their father would say to them. He felt Kelderas shift nervously beside him and knew that his brother was just as fearful of their father as he was at the moment.
"Explain yourselves," Thranduil demanded.
Luthin tried to find words, but found that his thoughts were so jumbled up by what Kelderas had said that he couldn't find anything fit use as an explanation. It was just a fight, Kelderas and Luthin had them oftern, less so since they'd grown, but still…
"I was merely a disagreeance, my Lord," Kelderas voiced what Luthin was thinking. "An argument, nothing more."
"Your hand went for your blade," Thranduil said, his voice bitter. At the words, Luthin started and, knowing he wasn't suppose to but unable to stop himself, looked over at his brother. Kelderas had paled visibly. His eyes and head trailed to his side and Luthin looked also. He saw Kelderas' blade, the clasp that held it in its sheath was undone. Luthin looked again to his brother's face. Kelderas had been ready to draw a blade on him? The thought shook Luthin and he felt a knot tie itself into his stomach.
Kelderas opened his mouth, but no words came out. He closed it again and set his jaw, thinking. Finally, he closed his eyes and shook his head slightly. "I would not have used it, Adar," he whispered. "My lord," he corrected himself after a second's hesitation. Luthin couldn't take his eyes off of his brother. Kelderas had been ready to draw a blade on him. The notion sent new emotions through Luthin's body, emotions that he'd never felt before. He felt anger, hatred, shock, fear, guilt. Had he really offended Kelderas enough to make his brother fight to the death to defend himself? Or had Kelderas really sank low enough to start to dissolve into a killer? Of course, Kelderas already was a killer, he was a warrior and in truth, that's all warriors were really, killers of darkness. But Kelderas had almost killed him.
Thranduil looked down at his sons. He felt tight fear dwelling still in his racing heart. When he saw his sons quarreling on the ground, he'd been ready to walk over and stop them like he had done many times before. But when Kelderas' hand had gone for the blade, Thranduil's heart had stopped. A million different outcomes had played themselves in front of Thranduil's eyes, none of them ending without the loss of one of his sons. If Kelderas had drawn the blade…Thranduil didn't want to think of such a thing.
"Do you not know the punishment for drawing a blade on another? Let alone using it!" Thranduil admonished.
"He didn't draw it, my lord," Luthin finally spoke up, his voice shaking quietly. "No punishment is necessary."
Luthin felt Kelderas look over at him, but he couldn't meet his brother's eye. Luthin didn't know how to feel.
Thranduil sighed and closed his eyes for a moment, trying to think of what to do. This morning had started out beautifully. He had thought things were progressing with his family. Legolas had shown improvement and morning meal had been the closest thing to normal that they had had in a long time. But now, he didn't know what to think. Perhaps he had been focusing too closely on one son and had forgotten that he had others.
Of course, Thranduil opened his eyes and stared at the other side of the field. That was what was wrong, that's what had always been wrong with him since he'd lost Narsine. In those weeks that had followed her death, he'd isolated himself from his family. And then, when he'd wanted them, he had realized that he had lost them as well. He'd been so overwhelmed with his grief that he'd forgotten that his children needed him, his kingdom needed him. He'd been oblivious to their grief and it had been too late to reverse what he'd done to them. He'd abandoned them when they needed him the most.
Thranduil looked down at his sons again and saw that they were looking up at him, question in their eyes. He realized that he hadn't spoken in a few minutes. He sighed once more and whispered, "I've failed you." His sons's both frowned simultaneously. Thranduil gave them a half smile as tears formed in his eyes before he turned and slowly started to walk away. Elrond watched his pass, his head bowed respectively. Thranduil half expected Elrond to follow, but the elf lord didn't.
A moment later, Kelderas rose quickly and rushed to his father's side. "Adar, forgive me," he choked. Thranduil looked at him and saw fear etched onto his face. "I didn't know that I had gone for my blade, but you must trust me, I would have never used it on Luthin, never."
Luthin suddenly appeared at his other side. "Ada, please, you must believe him," he pleaded. "We were just fighting and it got out of hand."
Thranduil smiled slightly at them. "And tomorrow Kelderas will join a patrol and let things get out of hand when he must concentrate the most and I will lose another piece of my heart." Kelderas stiffened next to his father and Luthin looked at him. Their eyes met for a moment and finally, Kelderas shook his head and gripped his father's arm.
"Adar, if you fear so much for that, I will not go," he whispered. Thranduil turned to gaze at his eldest son. "I will wait until you think I am ready."
"You trust me so?" Thranduil asked, his voice quavering slightly.
"I have always trusted you so, though sometimes I simply do not agree." Kelderas said, letting his eyes fall again. Thranduil suddenly threw his arms around Kelderas and squeezed him tightly to his chest. The action caught Kelderas by surprise, but when he gathered himself again, he wrapped his arms around his father. Thranduil's arm suddenly reached out and snagged the front of Luthin's tunic, bringing him into the embrace as well. The three stood for a while in their tight embrace before Thranduil finally pulled away.
Kelderas' face was wet with tears and Luthin's eyes were red, but tears hadn't fallen. Thranduil noticed how Kelderas grasped Luthin's wrist and gave it a gentle squeeze, but the brothers didn't look at each other. The gesture warmed Thranduil's heart. He looked past his sons to Elrond, who stood smiling. "I have been a fool," Thranduil stated suddenly. Kelderas and Luthin looked at their father with confusion. "I had forgotten all that has been given to me in this world." He said, putting a hand on each of his son's shoulders. The two smiled at him.
"Not forgotten, Ada, merely misplaced," Luthin said, smiling. The three chuckled at the comment.
"I hear you have been advanced in your training, Luthin." The younger brother nodded. "Then let us plan the celebration, one which we will all attend," Thranduil looked to Kelderas, who nodded.
Elladan and Elrohir sat on separate benches in the garden. It had been a rather uneventful day. The twins had wanted badly to try a prank on Glorfindel which Elrohir had thought of, but they had thought better of it, considering what had happened last time. The last thing they wanted to do was upset Legolas again after he had made so much progress.
"Elladan," Elrohir called quietly.
"Mmmm…" Elladan answered lazily.
"Do you ever think about what it would be like to lose Naneth or Adar?" Elrohir tried to make the question light, but his voice quavered slightly, indicated the true fear and ultimate misery behind the words. Elladan sat up from his place on a bench and looked over at his brother, but Elrohir was lost in though, staring at the sky through the thick branches above them.
"I try not to think of such things," Elladan answered, laying back down. "But I think if we were ever unfortunate to suffer such a loss, I…I think we would make it through it."
"How can you be so sure?" Elrohir asked, rolling over onto his side to look at his twin. Elladan smiled at him.
"Because of this," Elladan held out his hand, indicating their surroundings. "Because we know what the grief is like and part of what to expect. And because we have people who still need us in this world." Elrohir grinned. "Are you letting the grief of Mirkwood get to you?" Elladan asked solemnly, though he tried to play it off as a joke.
"No," Elrohir answered. "I have things to do yet in this world," Elrohir puffed up his chest. "For one, I have to make sure that I am always one step ahead of you in pranking Glorfindel…"
"What?" Elladan shouted, sitting up chuckling. "I could out prank you any day," he stated in a matter-of-factly voice.
Before the twins could continue to argue, Elladan immediately stood up and put his hands behind his back respectively. Elrohir did the same, knowing it was the sign that one of the royal family had just joined them. He turned and found that Idrial had just entered the garden. "Good evening, Sons of Elrond," she said, bowing slightly. The twins bowed back, returning her greeting.
Idrial came into the garden and sat down on the bench which Elladan had just occupied. He eyed her carefully before sitting down next to her gingerly. Elrohir watched, amused. "It will be a beautiful night," Idrial whispered quietly, her eyes trailing to the skies. "The stars are almost out."
"Indeed," Elladan whispered. Elrohir grinned, watching the way Elladan's eyes never left Idrial's face. He had known that Elladan thought highly of Idrial, but now he could see just how highly that thought was.
"Naneth used to sing to me of the stars," Idrial whispered. "I miss her voice, but I find myself unable to feel sadness over that part of her, for she taught me those songs and they always made me so happy. Whenever I think of the stars, or those songs, I think of Naneth and remember how content things were. Then I think of now and I realize that it is the contentment that I miss."
"You will find it again," Elladan whispered, putting his hand over hers. She grasped his hand before she knew what she was doing. The three sat for a moment in silence, letting Idrial have her moment of grief before she looked down at her hands and blushed promptly.
Idrial turned to look at Elladan. "Your Naneth asked me to come and find you," she said, looking him in the eyes. "It is almost time for supper."
"We should be going then," Elrohir broke in, gaining a look from Elladan. The elder twin rose and held out his hand for Idrial.
"Shall we?" he asked, grinning. Idrial blushed a bit before accepting his hand and standing up next to him. Though, her dress caught on the corner of the bench and she jerked a bit. Elladan caught her and seemed to realize at the same time she did that their arms were wrapped around each other and their faces were entirely too close to avoid awkwardness.
"Pardon me," she whispered, pulling herself away from him and brushing her dress into place. She looked over at Elrohir, who, to his credit, was trying to keep his face straight. She let out a breath and smiled. "I'll see you inside," she announced and then strode pass them.
When she was gone, Elladan looked over at his brother. Elrohir broke into laughter and shook his head. "You're a reagular Beren," Elrohir joked. "Let's go inside." Elladan went to cuff Elrohir upside the head, but the younger twin ducked beneath the blow and ran to catch up with Idrial. The two laughed all the way to the palace.
Review Responses:
moonshine44: I will try to make the chapters longer. -) I tried to make this one a bit longer than the others, but I'm not sure if I succeeded. The next chapter will for sure be longer, don't you worry.
ElladanOrElrohir: How right you were. Kelderas and Luthin have a LONG way to go before their relationship is back to what it used to be. And now they have this episode in the way. But maybe this will actually help things. It got some of their personal thoughts out in the open.
daw the minstrel: Glorfindel is a very clever elf. And Legolas' friends are going to come in handy later on. Maybe not so much in this story, but in other ones for sure.
Coolio02: It's nice to have friends. Daeron will help a lot with Legolas' healings. They really treat him like normal, which is what he needs.
MCross: Calm before the storm? What storm? thunder in the distance Oh...THAT storm. ;-) You just wait hehe.
Barbara Kennedy: Thank you so much for all the reviews! I'm glad you're liking this story. I've been really debating where to take this, so I'd like to hear any opinions you have.
kel: I like Daeron too. -) He's going to be fun to play with when he grows up hehe.
Christian Bregorider: Yay to you too! hehe. Hope that's a good yay! LOL!
Templa Otemna: Yes, things seem to be getting back on track, but you just keep those chickens right where they are or they'll end up on a plate with my fork in them! Mmmm...I love chicken! LOL! And thanks, I'll remember about the little details. I tend to like those in stories as well. Just the small little comfort signals and stuff. I'll try to keep putting those in.
EVERYONE!
Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! I can't believe how many reviews this story has gotten. I'm trying to keep up with it the best I can, but college is really tough this semester. I have a few tests this week, so it may be a bit of time before I get the next chapter up. or...it may be the exact opposite and i'll try to slack off from my studying so I can write some for this. Hehe, either way, I promise to have the next chapter up as soon as possible. Thank youall! cookies for everyone!