Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter or anything connected with the books or movies. The character featured here, however, is of my own creation; please don't steal her. She's got a temper and won't hesitate to hex you; it's really in interest of your own well being to leave her alone.
Part One of Five
It seems that anyone who's heard of your Da thinks they know everything about him and, by extension, about you. You see there, Harry Potter, the one who saved us all? There he goes with his wife and all their children… Red, Red, Black, Red…. Another Black on the way, don't you know? That oldest Red… she'll be the first Gryff for them. For those who've always kept an eye on the children of Heroes, it is accepted as common knowledge.
This is not to say that the your famous Da constantly parades his family around Diagon Alley just so everyone can get a glimpse. Surely not; he keeps you close to home in Godric's Hollow as much as possible. But like flies to honey: if you step out all together, curious eyes follow everywhere.
The fact of the matter is that if you have famous parents - your mother held her own during the war, that goes without saying - folks will always be watching. The Wizarding world knows your parents for their bravery, loyalty and wisdom; you know them as Mum and Da. Mum with long red hair like yours who always seems to be at the ready with another baby and smells like flowers. And your Da is more wonderful than anyone can imagine; no matter how big a hero he is to the world he is yours first and foremost.
When you get your letter inviting you to Hogwarts, they rally around knowing that Gryffindor is about to get the newest generation of Potters. It's expected. Why, you've been sent plush lions all your life to play with and have been swathed in gold and red from the cot. Nearly Headless Nick floats about in the pictures of your baptismal, looking so proud one would venture to guess he was there during the conception itself.
So it's a little odd when Da holds you close on the platform 9 and ¾ and tells you he loves you and that he always will, even if you're not in Gryffindor. What is an eleven year old to say to that? Doesn't he know it's a cert? Instead, you hug Da with your skinny little arms, kiss him on the cheek and bound up on the train after blowing a raspberry at your siblings. They know you're joking, of course; you'll miss them almost as much as you miss Da and Mum.
But it is only Da and Mum who are told that the Sorting Hat tried valiantly to put you in Slytherin. The Weasley stubbornness, however, swayed it into letting you into Gryffindor. Who says that you can't have what you want? Mum seemed bothered, but Da was understanding when he owled you back an old piece of parchment to which you can pledge that you solemnly swear you are up to no good.
You wonder if he would have sent it if the Sorting Hat hadn't been convinced otherwise.
The curtains around your bed are the red and gold of an old, worn cradle and you stare at them until your eyes are dry and stinging. Nothing you can say inwardly soothes the sense that something is off kilter and you want to scream and curse because you can't find the source of it. Part of you wants to go to the Sorting Hat and ask why it had been so insistent and then gave in to your demands. When you cry that night and your new roommates try to make you feel better, you turn away from their sympathetic, curious eyes. They're thrilled to be in the same room as the daughter of heroes, but that's what makes it hard to trust them, what makes it difficult to determine their intentions. Besides, that's what Mum does sometimes, isn't it? She turns away just a little from you when she cries? Not from Sirius or Jane or Bilius, just from you. Then again, she was crying because she'd just watched you fly or heard you playing Aurors with Jane. When she's very happy, she'll hold you close, so close that you start to lose your breath.
As a child, you learned that when Mum turned away, Da would let you lay your head on his shoulder. How could he not be the one by which all others are measured? In the same way, in time you learn to open up to those sympathetic, curious girls and they slowly lose their awe. You're thankful and they become your closest friends where Jane was always just a bit too different for you to be perfect for each other's needs. Your first year passes in a blur and the train ride home is taken reluctantly because you know Godric's Hollow will never be the same as it was before. Even so, Da swoops in to welcome you home and you find such comfort in his arms, you're hard pressed think that anyone could ever be as great a man as he.
As more time passes and you return to Hogwarts, your love for Quidditch becomes too much and you steal the Seeker position from another Gryffindor. No matter that he's a fourth year and you're in second, everyone is watching and they can all see that you're the far stronger flyer. It comes with being Harry Potter's daughter, so you sneer at the boy when he gripes about losing his position to a girl. He rants about favoritism and you kick him in the shin. Then you tell him to be a man and appreciate that Gryffindor finally won the Quidditch Cup back from Slytherin.
In third year, the same boy tries to be man and asks you to Hogsmeade. It's all in fun, but you find you can hex him fairly quickly when he tries to kiss you without permission. His attempts at pleasing you are doomed to fail, but it's hardly surprising since you find it difficult to be completely sated by anything anyway. At thirteen, it's odd to realize this, but you choose to ignore it for now. In regards to the Gryffindor boy, he seems to drop off your radar until he's brave enough to try for a Beater position. You have a feeling he'd like to taunt you when he becomes captain in a couple of years, but knows far better than to volunteer to stand at the end of your wand.
The boys begin to flock to honey of a different kind, but you fend them off for quite a while. The Gryffindor boys are dashing, Ravenclaw's clever and Hufflepuff's kinder than all, but you can't stop your eyes from drifting to the Slytherin table during your fourth year. He sits there with dark hair that reminds you of Da's, but he's different in every other way. He smolders, struts and lifts his head in arrogance and you burn inside as you watch it all. Where you've always felt that something was a bit off, you're aware it's become a gaping hole that you can't ever fill. Your sympathetic, curious friends tell you that you'd be a wonderful match, standing by side with heads held regally high; but while your ambition has gained you popularity, respect and excellent marks, you fear him.
You fear him. And you don't know why.
Professor Snape doesn't mock you like he did Da; in fact, he treats you with high regard, much to the bewilderment of your housemates. Sometimes he leaves you in charge of Potions detentions as he takes care of Head of House business; it is once in fifth year when you want to worship at his feet for this. The Slytherin boy is there one night, having gotten into a fight with another boy who'd wanted the Quidditch Captain's position. You want to suggest a good kicking in the shin, but decide that maybe leaving the other boy starkers in the Great Hall did just as well if not better.
He knows you watch him as you gather that Gryffindor courage; he doesn't move as you walk purposefully over to him, throwing your red hair over a shoulder. He stands still as you kiss him solidly on the lips and then tell him he's free to leave. The cold flames of fear lick at your unprotected heart, but you stand there with a smirk on your face when his eyes betray him and show his intrigue. Even though he lifts his chin arrogantly and struts out of the room, it's obvious that from now on, he'll be watching you, as well.
In sixth year, you learn that manipulation can be handy tool. Not to hurt anyone, of course, but just to get the boy's attention. He hasn't asked you to Hogsmeade because both of you know it doesn't work that way for the two of you. So you go with other boys, letting them kiss you sweetly and hexing them when they try to go further. Your reputation as a heartbreaker and going through boys as fast as parchment is known by all and it's your source of selfish pride. Da gives you a strange look over Christmas hols, but just shakes his head, sighs and says that as long as you are responsible, he won't stop you. Mum cries and turns away a little, so then Da hugs you and says maybe you should have just been put in Slytherin after all.
You're Quidditch Captain now and go head-to-head against the Slytherin boy; he gives you a sly smile and you sneer and the air around you is so charged you're sure to melt into a puddle. The game, it is fast and it is hard. He spends his time throwing quaffle after quaffle through the hoops, but it is your capture of the snitch that claims the Cup once more for Gryffindor. Your stomach clenches in fear of his proud rejection, but as he shakes your hand in congratulations you realize that somewhere along the way, this boy became a man.
That night, when he sneaks into your dorm for the first time, your lovemaking is slow and lovely and it's with this that the man is yours. Afterwards, you lie in his arms and wonder if this is what it feels like to be complete.
Your last year is wonderful and agonizing all at the same time. Denied the Head Girl position - Professor McGonagall was really never one for favoritism - you throw yourself into Quidditch and slaughter the competition. It gets the attention of professionals and offers are thrown at you from every direction; if they couldn't get Harry Potter, they will try as much as they bloody can to get you. They love your red hair and lily-white skin and dream of your face on their posters; you just wish you could share it with your Slytherin who finished with Hogwarts the year before. It is bliss when he visits, but you're torn in two when his parents forbid your union. For they've watched you as well and do not approve that two of your great-grandparents were muggles. What self-respecting pureblood family would?
You weep in front of the fire as you tell Da this over a long weekend; when he closes his eyes and puts his hand on your Mum's knee, you know with uneasy certainty that this is where it all will change.
There are secrets, Da says, that would have to come out one day. There are reasons why you hold your head high so naturally, why you seek like no one else alive, why Professor Snape loves you and why Mum sometimes cries for no reason.
Once, there was a girl who cared for a boy; he made her think he was a man and that he could choose his own path. The boy lied. Maybe it was because he cared for her, but not enough to change. Perhaps it was that she was so beautiful and would be a perfect revenge. The reasons could be guessed at, but never truly known. All the same, still he left her used and pained and with a secret only two others would ever know of.
Da closed his eyes then and continued without looking at you. There was another boy who chose to be a man and carried out this intention. He'd loved the girl and, to her confusion, kept on despite her having been used, pained and left by a follower of his enemy. Their own hero, Dumbledore, had died by then, so they turned to the one man they knew was trusted beyond others. He was the one man who they knew would not tell their secret out of loyalty to his own House.
Professor Snape helped them marry quietly and some months later they rejoiced in the birth of a little girl that was destined to be both ambitious and respectful, both powerful and noble.
When the truth of what Da is saying hits you, at first it's impossible to move. When you can finally gather the strength you try to run, but Mum stops you at the door.
Her past is not what she had expected, Mum says, but she wouldn't change it because she has you. She loves Da, so much, but it was always hard when she saw the boy in you; she wept because of all he had lost and the fear that you would follow in those steps. You fight back the anger when she says this, but she won't let you turn away. Instead she embraces and asks you to forgive her, to pardon her sin of holding back just a little all your life.
You breathe deeply and fight the urge to scream, the fury and hurt kept at bay as you look into her pleading brown eyes. It tamps down as you comprehend that nobody watched Mum as they watch you, no one saw that it took a while before she found the boy who would become a man for her. She didn't search herself all her life like you have just so you can know something no one else does. Slowly you embrace her back, you forgive… and it is then that Mum stops turning away when she cries.
The pain doesn't go away, though, especially when you have to go back to Hogwarts after Easter hols. Your Slytherin doesn't visit. You start to think you've been made a fool like Mum was and he'd lied just like another masquerading boy. All that pent rage goes to him and your sympathetic, curious friends let you be because by now everyone knows you could just as easily be an Auror as much as a Quidditch player.
At the Leaving Feast, you're asked to stand and accept the House Cup for Gryffindor. Your parents were seated next to you, along with Sirius, Jane, Bilius, and Little Black who finally came along. They smile widely and your heart warms as Daddy holds Mum close and she waves happily at you. Everyone watches them and watch you, silently appraising the happy family and you smirk to yourself as you realize that they've had it wrong all along.
And yet they've had it so very right.
Many of the summer days pass lazily in the field next to the home in Godric's Hollow. Mum took the younger ones to Diagon Alley, but you don't feel like having eyes on you today. You have it enough in the Puddlemere stadium and today is a day of rest.
Closing your eyes against the blazing sun, you think of the Hogwart's battlegrounds where there is a marker for a boy who never became a man. Mum forgave him enough to put it there and you love her all the more for it. His mistakes led to a life unlike any other, but you know that despite having Draco Malfoy as a father, having Harry Potter as your Da made all the difference.
When a shadow passes over your face, you open your eyes to see the Slytherin. You take a shuddering breath and he stares for many moments as if all courage is gone. But then he sits next to you, pulls you close and you know that he's made his decision at last. It is here that he shows that he can indeed measure up to your hero, even if it came a little late. Forgiveness comes easily here, too, and as you rest your head on his shoulder you feel as if you've finally found home.
You wonder if you should tell him that his parents need not hesitate because he'll marry a pureblood in the end. Perhaps later, when their slight has worn away and they can be trusted to know the truth and yet say nothing. But for now, while no one is watching, you find your fill in this love and your family… and you decide that that is enough. It is more than anything you could have asked for.
A/N: Confused? Enraged? Delighted? Tell me!
I wrote this originally as a one-shot and then decidedit demanded further explanation. There are four more chapters, all with differeing points of view and a staggering plot . I hope you enjoy it.