Disclaimer: No. I don't own ANYTHING from Resident Evil, Pez, Ebay, Gilliagan's Island : the site: or…well anything!
Luna: I know I said this chapter will be Alexia v.s Hunnigan v.s Ada v.s Ashley, but I made a mistake. That'll be next chapter. Sorry for the mix-up! Thank you everyone who reviewed!
Chapter 5: Stupidity realized
Ada watched the T.v as she cried, " Leon!"
" Just read these words and you can have all the Pez you want," said Alexia, sweetly.
She hands Leon a piece of paper and he recites, " Will…you…m-marry me, Alexia A-Ashford?"
" YES YES YES!" she screams, and throws her arms around him.
" Where's my Pez?" asked Leon, still not realizing what he just said.
" LEON!" screamed Ada and Ashley in unison.
" We can call a temporarily truce," said Ada, " to stop the marriage. And then we can go back to hating each other."
" Sounds good to me," said Ashley.
The only reason they both accepted so fast was because they both wanted the same thing. To win over Leon.
Sucker, thought Ada.
Sucker, thought Ashley.
" Question!" I said, " What is so great about Leon? Sure, he's hot, but dumb…"
" Your just jealous because you don't have him!" said Ashley.
" Uh, neither do you," I pointed out.
" Who's voice is that?" asked Ada.
" Leon's conscience," replied Ashley.
Ada blinked.
" Okay. So Leon called himself hot, dumb and unattainable…all in a girl's voice that we suddenly hear?" asked Ada.
" Yeah. Come on! We got a wedding to crash!" said Ashley.
I just shook my head.
At the studio…
" I'm terribly sorry to say that our producers cancelled the show and we are no more," said Alfred, " But we do get to air 1 last episode of Alexia's wedding."
Then we hear under his breath, " …I hate that man! Took my jacket and my sister!"
" The attachment you have to your sister is creepy…incesty…" I said.
" You!" screams Alfred, in horror, " Incesty isn't a word! Happy place, happy place…special torture chamber room…"
As Alfred was having a nervous breakdown, Leon was happily munching on Pez as Alexia was in another room; putting on her wedding dress.
Then it hit Leon.
" I just asked some random woman I really don't know to marry me," said Leon, " Damn ADD!"
Meanwhile…
Wesker was driving his mom's SUV, feeling much like a soccer mom himself. Birkin was in the back seat, still clutching that damn paper. As for Hunnigan, she regained her sanity in the nick of time.
" Remember Wesker, the words 'Gilligan' or 'Island' are trigger words that set Ingrid the Insane to surface," said Hunnigan.
" Gilligan's Island?" asked Wesker.
Then he realized his stupidity of what he just said.
" Hahahaha…." said Hunnigan, a glint in her eyes, " Coconuts! We need coconuts to build a raft to get off the island!"
" Hunnigan…?" asked Wesker.
" I SAID I NEED COCONUTS!" screamed Ingrid the Insane, as she tore Wesker's sunglasses off his head.
She threw them in the back seat. Right into Birkin's hands.
" Sunglasses from the heavens!" exclaimed Birkin, " I will NEVER let anyone touch the divine sunglasses!"
Wesker had it. He stopped the SUV short, and turned around to face Birkin.
" If you don't give me those sunglasses, I'll break every bone in your body," he said, tone deadly.
" No! I will make a virus of them! The S-virus! MINE!"
Wesker lunged at him, as Ingrid got out of the car. She ran off, screaming something about coconuts.
8 minutes later…
Hunnigan found herself in a local supermarket, in the coconut aisle. Having no memory of how she got there and why, Hunnigan shrugged and walked off. Until she realized her pockets were full of matches, flares, and a coconut. Blinking, she guessed she had another episode.
She left the store, and found Wesker not too far away and a badly mangled Birkin.
" Ever touch my sunglasses again and I'll-" began Wesker.
" Huh?" asked Hunnigan.
" Glasses…" wheezed Birkin.
Another car pulled up. Wesker's mom came out. She looked exactly like him, platinum blonde hair and all. And she even had the sunglasses.
" Albert, dear," she said, " You forgot your lunch box."
" Mom…" groaned Wesker, " What I did I tell you about interrupting my missions?"
" But honey, I made PP&J! Just the way you like it, with the crusts cut off," she explained.
Birkin and Hunnigan burst out in laughter.
" Wesker, your such a mommy's boy," said Birkin, with a laugh.
" You-" began Wesker.
" Hey! No one makes fun of my Albert dear!" cried Wesker's mom, and put a magnum to Birkin's head.
" S-sorry!" he cried, cowering fear.
She smiled and kissed Wesker goodbye.
" What just happened?" asked Hunnigan.
" Island! You'll never have my island of G-virus!" screeched Birkin, suddenly.
" The hell?" asked Wesker.
" Island…coconuts…Gilligan!" cried Ingrid the now insane.
Wesker groaned. It was going to be a long. Long. Long afternoon.
Luna: Yay, I'm done! Next Chapter: Alexia v.s Ada v,s Ashley v.s Hunnigan.