Wrapped in the arms of a diner man, realization finally strikes with L/L. "…Her missing piece that wasn't so lost all along, just hidden behind a counter, coffee pot, and a flannel shirt …" Set during the meltdown in the park. R/R please! One shot.
DISCLAIMER: Don't own them, at all, not even a teensy tiny bit. What a shame. It's all ASP and the WB; just borrowing a bit of text and some characters to play.
---- THIS IS THE REVISION, BECAUSE YES, I KNOW, IT CONTAINED A LOT OF TYPOS! THE TEXT IS THE SAME, EXCEPT I THINK I ADDED LIKE A SENTENCE AND MAYBE AN ADJECTIVE OR TWO. SO IT'S FIXED IT UP A BIT IF ANYONE CARES! (if you've never read this before never mind , just read on and leave me a review please:-)-----
A/N: ok as most of you know (or should if you don't!) the first several lines are from the episode where Lorelai breaks down in Luke's arms (4.18) and are there to set the mood for the scene.
A/N 2: OK well this is my third fanfic -that's right 3rd so if you didn't read the first two, These Eyes & HELP WANTED, click on my profile and do just that (after you read this one of coarse!)- and as always reviews are highly encouraged and appreciated. This story was inspired by the Celine Dion (my all time faavvorriittee artist!) song "Right in Front of You." I hope you enjoy this, I had a lot of fun writing it. Now you know the drill: presenting, for the first and only time since there is but 1 chapter hence the 'one-shot' (drum-roll please) Right In Front of You…
Inspirational Lyrics:
You
are my tomorrow
There's safety in your arms
Where you go, I'll
follow
'Cause you're the world where I belong
Right in front of
you
Right in front of me
We were looking
But somehow, some
way
We couldn't see
That the love was always there
It's been
around us everywhere
I had to fall to finally see
That you
were right in front of me
LORELAI: Luke.
LUKE: Hey, I was just coming to meet you.
LORELAI: I know. Yeah. (nervously smoothing hair) Could we uh, -- I need to --- I'm sorry, I need to reschedule our dinner.
LUKE: Oh sure.
LORELAI: Yeah, I'm just very tired.
LUKE: Okay.
LORELAI: So I'm sorry that I made you get all dressed up.
LUKE: That's okay, it's good for me to do it every once in awhile. It reminds me why I'm not an accountant.
LORELAI: (odd giggle) Okay.
LUKE: (concerned) Everything okay?
LORELAI: What?
LUKE: Are you okay?
LORELAI: Why?
LUKE: Because you don't look okay.
LORELAI: Well, geez, take me now, sailor.
LUKE: I mean, you look distracted.
LORELAI: Distracted, no. Well, maybe -- yeah. Distracted, okay, sure. I'm very distracted.
LUKE: Anything I can do?
LORELAI: You know, there are very few times in my life when I find myself sitting around thinking, "I wish I was married," but today, I mean -- I'm happy. You know? I like my life. I like my friends. I like my stuff. My time, my space, my TV.
LUKE: Yeah, sure.
LORELAI: But every now and then, just for a moment, I wish I had a partner, someone to pick up the slack. Someone to wait for the cable guy, make me coffee in the morning, meet the stupid sink before it gets sent back to Canada. (wanders to nearby bench and sits)
LUKE: What happened? (joins her on bench)
LORELAI: (Voice breaking) Um... (Sniffles) I just thought I had everything under control, but I didn't, and the inn is just falling apart. This has been my dream forever, and I have it, and it's here, and I'm failing. I can't handle it. I just spend every minute running around and working and thinking. (Luke puts his arm across the back of the bench and listens quietly.) And I thought I would have help, but Sookie has Davey, and Michel has Celine, and I'm -- I can't do it all by myself. (Luke moves closer.) And I don't even have time to see my kid, and hell, forget see her, just even talk to her. And I miss her. And I sat there in my parents' house just listening to my grandmother basically call me a charity case, and I couldn't even argue with her. I couldn't even say anything, because I am. I'm running out of money, and I don't know what to do about it, and I was gonna, I was gonna ask you for $30,000 at dinner tonight. That's how pathetic I am.
LUKE: Thirty thousand dollars. Well, okay, I mean if you --
LORELAI: I don't want to talk about it now. I don't want to think about it. (hiding face, she leans against his chest) I'm failing. (Sobs) I'm failing.
(Luke hugs her close, strokes her hair, and gently rubs her arm.)
LUKE: You are not failing.
LORELAI: (muffled) I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do. I don't know what to do.
LUKE: (gently) It's okay.
Luke continued to hold her close while whispering soft assurances to her. After a few minutes he thought they should move somewhere with a little more privacy. This was Stars Hollow after all; he didn't think she, and he was sure as hell he, didn't want this to end up on the front page of the Stars Hollow Gazette tomorrow. He could hear everyone now, from Miss Patty's-
"Oh I just know they are perfect for one another, Look at how he's comforting her, isn't that just adorable?"
to Taylor's-
"Really now is this completely necessary? Public displays of affection should be taken to the proper place, crying on a park bench after 8 o'clock should be in the town rulebook. I think we need to have a town meeting about this."
Well, he might be exaggerating just a little, the town meeting could probably be avoided, plus he would never get his chance with Lorelai, she just doesn't see him like that. Now his thoughts had taken up another few minutes and they were still sitting on this damn park bench and Lorelai was still crying.
"Hey" he said very gently, "Why don't we go back to the diner...I'll make you some coffee?"
Sniffling slightly Lorelai looked at him with her tear stained, yet still dazzling blue eyes; contemplating whether she should bother Luke any more tonight, or simply cry herself to sleep after eating a carton of ice cream. Realizing that she really needed to talk to someone and that she could completely trust Luke she replied,
"Yea…Umm…Ok that would be really great."
They got up, Luke's arm was still around her, which she was only vaguely aware of, and slowly made their way back to the diner. Luke unlocked the door, for this he needed his arm back and Lorelai immediately felt colder and less secure without Luke holding onto her.
She sat on a stool, her stool, the one she sat at so many nights and poured her problems out as Luke kept refilling her coffee. It was their routine, their comfort zone, Luke behind the counter the 'Lorelai Gilmore fixer' who would listen to her talk because she really was quite good at it, and help her try to put all the pieces back together again.
Tonight, however, she was being uncharacteristically quiet, which was unnerving him a little. He had never seen this bright vibrant woman, usually so full of life, seem so beaten down by it; not knowing where to turn or how to fix herself this time. She was so broken and worn down, she didn't even pretend to put on her 'happy front', she just sat there sipping on her coffee that Luke had given her, staring off into space, lost in her own chaos. It broke his heart to see her so sad.
The silence in the room was like waves crashing against him so overpowering he thought that they might drown him. Finally, he couldn't stand seeing her so miserable any longer, so he softly and cautiously inquired,
"You wanna talk to me about it?"
She gave him a very weak smile, compared to her usual glowing contagious one, and sighed heavily before saying,
"I wouldn't even know where to begin."
Even the luster in the sound of her voice was lacking. He couldn't stand seeing her like this anymore. He rounded the counter and took her by the hand, her eyes curious and questioning, his calm and reassuring, so she let herself be led up the stairs to his apartment.
"Well most people start at the beginning." he told her lightly giving her a less seen patented Luke Danes look, solid and overflowing with concern, he was really such a softy inside, especially when it came to Lorelai Gilmore.
He led her by the small of her back over to his couch and sat down next to her. He looked deep into her eyes and could see that her outer appearance eluded her; she was screaming inside for someone to help her.
"Lorelai, please talk to me."
The way he had gazed at her when he basically begged her to say something touched the inner depth of her soul. There was just something about Luke that made her not only drop the disillusionment she usually carried around for the world, but also feel comfortable letting him see an intimate portrait of herself.
'God I'm so lucky' she thought. 'I have this amazing man who cares about me so much, and looks really good in that shirt- WHOA, where in the hell did that come from! Back up to the 'there for me' part girl…He always does nice things for me, AND he's always there when I need him, unlike the father of my spawn. Dependable, that's what Luke is, dependable. Good old dependable Luke. Ooh and trustworthy, yes defiantly trustworthy…Good listener, diner man's got good ears. Handy too, I bet he's fixed my whole house at one point or another; he'd probably build me a new one if I asked him to. Luke would make a great husband, I can't believe he's still single, oh yes, monosyllabic man; no one gets a chance to know him like I do. He's so sexy too, those muscles, he'd probably be great in bed- OK STOP NOW LORELAI! That is too far! My mind is such a dangerous zone. This is Luke here! You coffee serving, flannel wearing, backwards baseball hat, grumpy, ranting, always there, caring, dependable, listening, handy man, best friend Luke.
Wow. Luke really sounds like one hell of a guy. Who am I kidding, Luke is an amazing guy everybody knows that! I think he's the only one that really knows me. He sees me at my worst and yet, here he still is; still in my life, still caring, and never judging. Huh, I never thought about this before. Oh my, oooh my, have Sookie and Rory been right? Oh my God, I think I have a thing for Luke! Luke ladies and gentlemen, L-U-K-E! Oh man, on top of everything else I have to deal with now I realize I might have feelings for my best friend. Great timing Gilmore!'
However Lorelai's pivotal thought train was interrupted by Luke's repeated request,
"Hey, you gonna tell me about it, or do I have to use my Lorelai telepathy?
He didn't sound mad, or even demanding, just very concerned.
Luke wanted so desperately to help her, to do something, anything, to bring that smile back. God he lived to see that smile in his diner every morning. He had been in love with woman for years now, but was too much of a damn chicken to even ask her out, he was so afraid of rejection- He couldn't bear to risk losing her. As he stared into those blue eyes, even though tear stains ran down her face and she seemed to be consumed by an unconquerable sadness, he couldn't help but notice how beautiful she was. It always amazed him how someone could be that beautiful. She was the only person that could stop him in his tracks and make every thought run from his mind faster than she could ask for her beloved coffee.
Slowly, because she really wasn't quite sure where to start, Lorelai finally began to let her pent up problems and frustrations out fort he first time in weeks.
Luke replaced his arm around her when she began, drawing her close once more. This time however, she did notice his arm, and she liked it.
"It's just everything, all the time. The inn wasn't supposed to be like this I was supposed to have help and I don't and I need it. I don't even see Rory, I can't even get her on the phone to talk to her. I just fell like I'm I quicksand and the harder I struggle the more I sink and I can't take it anymore I just can't handle it, it's too much, I can't do it."
"Lorelai, you are the most determined hard working woman I have ever met. You can do anything."
"I've never doubted myself before this. I'm always that confident smiling woman, but lately…I just can't hold it together all the time. Since I can't get a hold of Rory to talk everything just kind of kept bottling up inside and I don't know where to turn, but I'm too damn stubborn to admit to anyone that I...I need help."
With that Lorelai dissolved into tears again and Luke lovingly cradled her in his hands while she wept.
"I'm always here if you need me Lorelai. You don't have to put on your brave face for me."
Lorelai looked at this man, the best friend anybody could ever want and realizations began exploding in her mind. She knew deep down that Luke was such a staple in her life, but now that she thought about it, she wasn't so sure Luke knew this. So since she was already feeling so open and exposed she might as well make him aware.
"I trust you Luke. I don't thank you enough for always being there for me, but I really appreciate it. I know I've never told you before because I'm too busy being 'Miss Independent', but, I guess I kinda hope you always just knew how much I need you in my life…"
Lorelai was staring strait into his eyes speaking so sincerely, no jokes, or over dramatized words, he could tell she was talking strait from the heart. And those sparkling blue eyes; he felt as though he was being put under her spell.
"…I don't just enjoy your company or come by because the coffee's the best, although those reasons-very true- but, I need you support, your listening ear, even your concerns about my health and mocking of my eating habits. I would starve without your burgers, I can't make it through the day without a cup of your coffee and when I've had a really bad day, you always know how to make me smile. And I can trust you. I've never met a man that I can completely trust myself with. You see me for me and you have never judged. I can be my plain old quirky self and for some odd reason you're not revolted by me, or extremely annoyed, well, most of the time anyway. Then with Rory, you are so good to her. You are more of a father to her than Chris has ever been. You just really, really mean a lot to me Luke annnd I thought you should know.
Luke was in a mild state of shock and was slightly embarrassed. He has always hoped that he meant a lot to Lorelai, you know secretly caring about her for, oh, well, years. But as much as he wanted Lorelai to feel this way, he still hated it when people said stuff that that to him. His face had gone light red.
Lorelai knew she had really gotten to him. He as that embarrassed shade of red, he was slightly tensed from the shock of her being so direct with him, very gracious because he was gently rubbing her arm with his hand, and pleased because he was wearing that half smile on his face. She also could tell he didn't know what to say in response. She really did know this man about as well as he knew her, and that was very well.
So she simply took his face gently in her hands, turned it to face her, forcing him to gaze into her captivating eyes and said,
"Thank you."
At this he smiled broadly and with a serious tone just above a whisper replied,
"You're welcome."
He was staring at her still, doing his 'Luke stare' that mad her squirm. She felt like he could read her thoughts and right into her heart. The tension was unbearable for her to handle and she needed an out. So softly she spoke.
"Umm Luke, do you think I could use your bathroom to wash my face off?" 'Wash my face-good thinking Gilmore!'
"Yea, sure, I'll be here."
"Thanks" she said as she got up, quickly walked to the bathroom and shut the door. Her mind was working in overload. Everything about the inn and Rory were already buzzing around up there, and now Luke thought were joining them in the 'lets drive Lorelai crazy game'. With her previous revelation about Luke, she could no longer deny to herself that she had these feelings. Once she had admitted it they wouldn't stop exploding in her head like fireworks on the 4th of July. But what to do about them? She knew she couldn't ignore them; the extreme amount of tension hanging in the air when she was close to Luke would not let itself be ignored. And then she thought to herself, 'I don't want to ignore it.' She wouldn't either, but neglecting it for awhile might be ok, right? She just couldn't deal with this tonight, it was simply too much to take. Satisfied with her decision, Lorelai wiped her face off and went back out to Luke. She grabbed her coat and purse rattling off her excuse that she mistakenly thought she could get away with.
"OK, well, I think I'm gonna go home now. Thank you so much for everything Luke I'll see you in the morning."
"You sure you're ok?
'Damn it! Leave it to Luke to be concerned when I need him not to be.'
"Yea, I'm fine, really, I'm just tired and I've taken up too much of your time. It's just kinda late so I'm gonna go home and get to bed."
Luke, however, immediately noticed the chance in her. She wasn't just sad and worn out looking anymore she seemed nervous and fidgety. Aware to the many ways of Lorelai Gilmore, he knew that something was up- something she didn't want to discuss. This peaked his interest since she had just spent the past half hour crying in his arms and telling him things like she actually need him in her life; thing she normally would not do. Something was up and he wasn't going to let her slip away so easily.
She turned quickly towards the door and had just opened it when Luke called out,
"Lorelai-"
Just the sound of her name coming from his mouth was a question and a request; curiosity, yet understanding; wanting, but not pushing. That one little word grabbed a hold of her wild reigns and turned her around to meet a patented Luke stare that he reserved just for her. The look that told her he knew something was up, but he wasn't going to force it out of her, the one that reaffirmed that she could trust him, that look that said he would always be there…
She matched him with an equally meaningful gaze. One that begged him desperately to let her go because she was scarred, the look that said I trust you but not myself, the one that said I want to tell you but I don't know how.
Her eyes held so much confusion and fright, pleading for answers without having to brave the questions. He could read that blue like a book he knew her so well. So he gave her the bit of reassurance he knew she was searching for.
"I'm always here for you, always."
"I don't know what I'd ever do without you." She heard her trembling voice say.
And somewhere between the balling her eyes out, unloading all her problems and frustrations that normally never got complained about to anyone, admitting just how much she needed him, realizing she had a thing for her best friends, feeling so wonderful in his arms, and that look staring her in the eyes, it all clicked.
She felt like she had been smacked in the face because her head was swimming. She didn't just care about this man, love his coffee live off his food, depends on him for more that she wants to admit, look forward to their morning banter and late night chats because she might, possibly be willing to admit she had feelings for Luke-she was already in love with him.
The combination of her thoughts churning away in her head and his intense eye contact left her with an out of control sense that he was speaking without words to the very depths within her. Before she could even think of what to say her insides responded and the words came tumbling out of her mouth before she realized it, betraying her always-present fear.
"I think I'm in love with you."
Then she was gone, out the already open door, fleeing yet again. He could hear her footsteps echoing down the stairs.
Now Luke's head was spinning and his thoughts were swirling rapidly in a dizzying sort of way.
'She does think that way about me, I'll be damned. Not just that way either, she said love. Love! Wait, she left, of coarse she left it's Lorelai that's what she does. Now might be a good time to go after her Danes! Don't let this slip away, not now, not after so long.'
With that Luke set off after her, but when he heard his keys jingling in his pocket, he remembered he locked the door- she couldn't get out. He took a deep breath, slowly finished down the stairs and emerged from behind the curtain. She was standing there almost shaking facing the door. Slowly she turned around and forced herself to face him.
As he produced the keys from his pocket, he held them in the air for several moments before dropping them onto the counter to with a loud clank echoing around the very empty diner.
Lorelai thought her heart was going to explode in her chest. She was trapped and she knew it. There was no way she was ever getting out of this one. Luke was in control and oddly she was comforted a little by that.
Without ever breaking eye contact with her he crossed the room step by equally slow step, stopping right in front of her. She felt paralyzed; that blue blazing into her like the sun. Nowhere to go, she felt the coolness of the door against her back as the diner and all the world around seemed to be closing in and fading away. He took her face lovingly in his hands and with a soft raspy voice just above a whisper admitted to her,
"I know I'm in love with you."
Then he kissed her with an intensity neither of them had ever felt before. He pressed his body forcefully into hers, melting them into one. Such a kiss had never been experienced by either of them. Hands clasped on tight as tongues clashed for the first time. So much love was being released that it carried them away into a place uniquely their own.
When they finally broke apart, each gasping for air, they just stared into each others eyes, their silent communication still at work while each of their minds reeled at what had just passed between them.
Lorelai's whole body was tingling; she never thought it possible to feel so much deep extreme feelings at once. It made her feel so alive, so loved, so happy and relaxed for the first time in weeks. The thing that was catching her most off-guard however, was Luke, not in a bad way, just a surprising one. He had always been her rock, her go-to man when her world began to falter. The banter and innocent flirting had always been there, sometimes not so innocent, but she never thought something would actually come of it. Now that it had, she assumed she would be scared, or have that anxious feeling that usually accompanied her past relationships-but it wasn't there.
She felt so completely comfortable and trusting with this man. She was chastising herself for waiting so long to say something to him. She admitted it; she had been in denial for years. None of that mattered right now, because Luke was still looking at her with that glint in his eyes that she had somehow never seen before; she was still feeling as if she had endured months of too much stress and too little sleep accompanied by way to much coffee; and they were still standing in the diner backed up against the door fresh of the high of a first incredible kiss.
They only thing that was running through Luke's mind as if it was set on repeat was 'I can't believe this is real, it's about damn time something happened!'
Finally, words seemed to find their way back and a drawn out "Sooo" echoed around the diner. The smiled because both had spoken at the same time. Lorelai turned her eyes to the ground a shy smile playing on her lips.
Luke, however, not letting Lorelai retreat even a tiny bit, took her face in his hands once again and lifted her head to meet his eyes. Gently stroking her soft cheeks with his thumbs, he tenderly kissed her with such a soft passion that it envoked within her soul all the repressed feelings and truths she had buried under years of denial.
Tears formed in her eyes for she was so overcome with emotion. Her very heart's guard crumbled, and was overflowing with love, a love that had managed to consume her without her knowledge. She deeply needed and trusted him like no one else before; after all it was her Luke. She was so overwhelmed with this newfound feeling of love and the complete exhaustion she had been carrying around for the last few weeks, that she- Lorelai Gilmore- actually had no idea what to say to him.
Reading the look in her eyes, the extreme fatigue sprinkled with some happiness, he took her hands in his and with that same voice just above a whisper he said,
"Stay with me tonight."
She only nodded her head in response. He cocked his head slightly towards the stairs and began leading her back upstairs, surprised she didn't put up a fight.
He shut his apartment door behind them and looked deep into her eyes as they stood next to the bed. She looked so worn down and overrun, yet happy and content. So drained form life and tonight's events was she, that she was left void of any thoughts or energy to form words. Luke lovingly caressed her face and down the sides of her arms. He studied her and understood- she was exhausted, nothing was left inside.
He pierced her eyes with his own, asking for permission, telling her to trust him. She nodded her head gently, took a calming breath, and closed her eyes. Luke placed the softest of kisses on her lips, then on her forehead, before he reached around to her back and unzipped her dress. He slowly pulled one arm out, then the other, letting the dress fall to the floor around her feet. He slid her bra straps off her shoulders, reached around her again, unhooked it, and carefully pulled it off of her. He couldn't help but marvel at the beauty before him as he sat her down on his bed and removed the strappy sandals that were probably killing her feet. He walked over to his closet and picked out one of his flannels (the blue and white one). He placed it around goose bump covered body, buttoned it up, and tucked her snuggly under the covers.
He placed a kiss on her forehead before undressing himself down to his boxers and climbing into bed with her. She turned into his arms and snuggled up against his warm body.
As Lorelai lay at ease in his arms she couldn't help but notice how right it felt. There was no weird transition or awkward questions, just a comforting love that had surrounded them for longer than she could remember. She was so safe and secure to be her own unique self, free of judgment or criticism. He was Luke. Simple. Her Luke. Her missing piece that wasn't so lost all along, just hidden behind a counter, coffee pot, and a flannel shirt. A part of her she had though she had to find, but only had to realize was already there.
Her final thought before she drifted off to sleep, snuggled tightly by his side, was- 'Silly Lorelai, the whole package was right in front of you the whole time. Leave it to me to have to be stubborn and do it the hard way.'
END
