8 – Jetfire gets even
A few things happened in quick concession when Starscream woke up the next morning.
The first one was the huge, stabbing headache he had and the burning sensations in the back of his neck. He groaned into his pillow and immediately felt a something rise up in his throat.
What the--!
He leaned to the side and threw up in a well placed container to his right. Coughing and spluttering, he grabbed the bottle of clear liquid next to the container and took a few gulps, welcoming the cool, refreshing taste of water.
After he had calmed down, he groaned again in pain and rubbed his head, but not before a hand grabbed him by the collar of his silk PJ's and wrenched him up.
He was met with the dark brown eyes of a certain female that he knew and hated. And it seemed that right now, the feeling was entirely mutual.
Astro growled deeply, and small currents of lightning sparked off her like static.
"You."
Starscream lived up to his name and shrieked horribly as the girl sent a charge though his body from the clenched fist. He fell to the floor weakly a second later, twitching and letting off yet another groan of quiet pain.
"Hmph." The girl, satisfied, turned on her heal and flew off to where Jetfire was merrily eating away. He looked over in sympathy when he watched the dishevelled man get up unsteadily. He rolled his eyes and continued eating some egg on toast.
The new kitten came over to him and rubbed up against his side, purring. Jetfire looked down, startled, before grinning.
"Do you want some, Cobalt?" He smiled, and the kitten meowed hungrily at him. Jetfire fed her some spaghetti.
Astro grinned and coaxed the kitten over. In truth, she had recently lost one of her cats to old age, and she was looking for another. She supposed when Red Alert figured out how to change the two men back that she'd have to take her home. But for now, she contently fed the little cat some milk in a bowl.
Above them both, Starscream had gotten to his knees and managed to not fall off the edge of Jetfire's recharge bunk. He groaned once more before somehow mustering the energy to fly down to the mat of food. He lost his balance along the way and landed on the ground in a heap. Jetfire, seeing this, got up and ran over to pick the former seeker up, supporting him so that he sat down next to the former shuttle. Starscream collapsed against Jetfire's shoulder, much to his internal annoyance, and winced at the throbbing headache that returned to full force.
Astro snickered silently, and then handed the ex-seeker a large bottle of water. "Drink."
Starscream glared, and Astro glared right back. This went on for a few seconds before the man sighed and started to drink the fluid. He was surprised when the pain ebbed slightly. He blearily looked up at the female and questioned her;
"What the hell is wrong with me?"
"My dear Starscream, you are nursing the after effects of too much to drink," She grinned evilly. "It is known as a hangover."
Starscream groaned, but Astro wasn't done yet.
"After a certain person who passes out wakes up, they are normally intoxicated with nausea, headaches, throwing up and sometimes even fits of hot and cold." She sighed happily. "Such a joyous thing, isn't it, dear?" Her tone was sickeningly sweet.
Starscream promised never to disobey her again … to a degree. She was about to continue again before Jetfire held up a hand.
"Please Astro, you've tortured him enough." His own tone was tired. He then smiled at Starscream, who was tiredly leaning against his shoulder still. "Guess what Starscream? We got a kitten last night!"
The ex-seeker froze. He stayed in the same position as he was before slowly looking up at Jetfire with wide eyes. He opened his mouth to speak, closed it, then opened again and barely whispered out;
"…a kitten?"
"Er, yeah." Jetfire looked slightly unnerved, and blinked as Starscream slowly recoiled backwards to stare at him. The girl and the Autobot watched in silence as the ex-seeker grabbed his head, eyes still wide.
Then both humans shoved their hands over their ears one second late as the hung over former Decepticon screamed.
As Starscream stayed in the bathroom for a while, Jetfire and Astro got onto the computer to do a bit of research. Cobalt jumped onto Astro's lap and purred while Jetfire searched for any relevant information on 'kittens' in transformer terms. While he was at work, he wondered what it was that Starscream was so scared of when it came to the fluffy creatures. He had thought that there may have been a transformer equivalent to the word.
As it was, he hit a match on the search. He made a noise of surprise, and motioned to Astro, who was currently watching another part of the huge screen. The girl looked up at the document that now stood before them:
Search: 'Kitten'
3 Categories found.
Seekers
Dictionary term
Reproduction
Astro shot Jetfire a sceptical look, and the Autobot looked back just as nonplussed.
"So … should we try them all?" He said.
"I guess …" Astro looked at the screen again; Jetfire clicked on the mouse. At once, a heap of information came up, both in Cybertronian and English:
Option: Display all
Seekers
…and generally, all seekers would know of the term kitten, which is one they normally like to forget about. No one is sure where the term originated from but…
(See full article)
Dictionary term
'Kitten'; a child seeker in both stage 1, 2 and 3 of its growth. Normally, they are not called a 'seeker' (see term 'seeker', document 4637) until they reach the 3rd or 4th stage in growth.
Reproduction
…All seeker-type Transformers have their spark chamber located under their cockpit area, directly above the energy exchange port. This also makes a seeker able to become pregnant 24 easier than most other transformers. This also means that a seeker should be very cautious while transforming into his or her robot mode and in battle, as this area only has a fine sheet of protective armour covering it …
(See full article)
"So …" Jetfire murmured, "he thinks he's…"
Both Astro and Jetfire looked at each other slowly, and then they were on the floor, laughing loudly. Astro in particular, as she knew enough about human anatomy to know it was IMPOSSIBLE for men to get pregnant.
Once both of them had calmed down enough to be reduced to a soft giggle, Jetfire got the information off the screen and looked at Astro, highly amused,
"So, what now?" He asked, still giggling.
"Well …" And suddenly, a truly evil thought came across her devious mind. "Maybe …"
"Yeah?" Jetfire leant in as Astro whispered in his ear.
By the end, he was grinning too.
Jetfire opened the door to the bathroom to see Starscream on his stomach, wings stretched out to their fullest extent. Jetfire blinked, and then went over to him, stepping over his wing to stand beside him. He crouched down and gently prodded his shoulder.
Starscream jolted up, staring at him. He grumbled and looked back down at the ground. "What do you want?"
"Just to see how you are." Jetfire replied, looking at him. The former seeker responded with a glare.
"Oh yeah, I'm fine. I just happen to BE PREGNANT!" His last words rose to a yell that startled Jetfire completely.
"Uh huh …" Jetfire rubbed his head sheepishly. "Well … you kinda jumped at me last night …" He didn't like lying, but this was payback. And payback meant a little moral sacrifice.
Starscream flushed, grit his teeth and looked at the ground. After a moment, he muttered, "I can't believe me of all mechs would get pregnant …"
Jetfire resumed scratching his head; face slightly flushed from the near death laughter in his head. It took all his self control to hold it in.
"Well …" He didn't really know how to comfort him about it. "At least it's not someone like Hotshot's kid …"
Starscream spluttered incoherently for a few seconds before he screeched, "I WOULD NEVER LET THAT PUNK NEAR ENOUGH TO ME TO GET ME PREGNANT!"
Jetfire chuckled nervously as Starscream's wings resembled a fluffed up duck. A pretty, fluffed up duck, but still an angry and dangerous fluffed up duck.
For the next few hours after Starscream emerged from the bathroom, it took all of Astro's own self control to not laugh at him. Starscream favoured her with a toxic glare and settled himself on his bed, rolling over to go to sleep as the hangover from the previous night was still in effect. It was partly due to that minor fact that he was still sore and ruffled up. While that was happening, Jetfire flew off to see Red Alert to check on the progress of the cure. It seemed the Medic had been hard at work, but there was no sign of it just yet. He was almost there, but he could not get Chemical Number 1 to work with Chemical Number 2. Jetfire, although exceptionally intelligent, did not do Medical Science back at the academy, so he knew little about different medical energons. Indeed, the only Energon he really had much interest in was ones that got you wasted. Stupid, yes, but Jetfire was renowned to be a party boy when he wanted to.
As it was, Astro had gotten curious suddenly and asked Jetfire about transformer lives, particularly his own.
"Well, let's see!" Jetfire grinned, and then flew off to his bed side table. With a grunt and a flap of his great wings, he managed to get it open and hop inside. When he came out, he was pulling a book easily double his size and close to twice as wide. He managed to set it on the bed and fell back on it with a sigh. That took some effort in his human form.
"Oh hey! I've seen this before!" Astro exclaimed.
Indeed she had. One time when Jetfire had gone on a mission, curiosity got the better of her and she had found this book. It was a photo album.
Jetfire smirked, "Sneaking around in my room! How dare you!" He playfully slapped her with one of his wings. She giggled and fell over.
"But anyway …" He pointed to the book. "Everyone in my family has one of these, as it's generally a custom on Cybertron. An ancient one that some have forgotten, but most still keep it. I guess you could say it's an unspoken tradition for all of us.
Anyway, this photo album starts normally with a birth picture. There are a few ways of … uh, reproduction for us. The most common one is being built in a factory and sparked by Vector Sigma, but there are also some who create a small transformer and spark it with some of his or her own spark. They are normally about human sized as they can't be too big, or they'll just be drones. That method is pretty rare these days.
The last one is Sparking. That is, when two compatible transformers get together and do a pregnancy energy bond. See, in every transformer's body is a very small chamber in the mid-section which can host a spark. When the energy transfer happens, both 'parents' send their energy though the link to the empty spark shell to fill it with their energy, hence bringing the spark to life. Kind of similar to your re-production from what you've told me, but pregnancy only lasts from a minimum of 4 days to four weeks – depending on the power of the parents. The more powerful you are, the longer your pregnancy lasts.
So, when the spark is ready to come out of the host, it knocks the host (or mother) unconscious for an hour. Then it opens the panel on the mid-section and forms it own body … rather like how the Minicons come out of the panels they've put themselves in. So they stay about human sized for two weeks, then grow to ¼ sized and stay that way for six months. Then they grow to half sized and stay that way for two years, before they finally grow to full sized."
"So you were created that way, weren't you?" Astro was looking at the first picture – Jetfire as a baby in a pair of arms, asleep.
"Yup, I was a Sparked baby." He grinned and looked at his much younger self. "So was Starscream."
"Really!" The girl exclaimed, and Jetfire hushed her and motioned to the sleeping human above.
"Shh … don't tell him I showed you." He flipped to the very back of the album where there was a recent picture of Starscream and himself. But Jetfire stepped over and dug into the pocket and pulled out another photo, which he held up.
Astro stifled a squeal. The image was Starscream no bigger than the forefinger of the giant hand he was lying on, curled up and asleep. He was absolutely tiny and totally huggable, and Astro 'aww-ed' at it.
"My gosh …" She said as Jetfire put the image away. "He GAVE you that!"
"Well … kind of." Jetfire smirked. "I think he slipped it in there, but I have no idea why. He was in here when I found it when I got back from my trip, and he was hella embarrassed, mind you. So don't tell him I showed you."
"He was so tiny!" She gasped out as Jetfire flipped the page back to the second one. "Is it normal to be that small?"
"Mm no, not that small. Normally we're a bit bigger than my hand as a transformer. I think Starscream was Split-Sparked."
"Split sparked?" Astro asked curiously.
"It means that the one spark that comes out of the host splits up to two ways." Jetfire continued. "I wasn't Split myself, but I think Starscream was by two. Normally that results in two stronger ones and a runt. I guess he was the runt."
"Aww … I know how that feels … kinda." Being youngest in the family, Astro could be considered the 'runt'.
"But wait, don't you have a sister?" The girl asked.
"Yeah, but she was born after me, not with me." Jetfire smirked. "I'm two hundred years her senior."
"Huh, fair enough. So what happens after birth and stuff?"
"Well, it really depends I guess …" Jetfire leaned back on his hands, thinking. "Mostly, if you're Sparked you stay with your parents 'till you're fully grown, then go off to the Academy to study. Some like to go out and get a bit of experience living on their own and then go, but for most of us, we normally goto the Academy from 2 to 200 years in age."
"Woah … big gap!" The girl said.
Jetfire nodded. "Indeed, but no matter. After about five hundred or so years of school you go out into the wide world and seek an occupation. Though for the past millions of years the Academy just taught combat with the basics on the sidelines, so most people who leave become part of the army."
"So are there two Academies?" Astro asked. "One for the D-cons and one for the Bots?"
"Now there is, yeah. But there used to be just the one." Jetfire sighed.
"And you could all get there!" The idea that everyone went to the one school on an entire planet boggled Astro's mind.
"Yep." Jetfire smirked at her wide-eyed expression. "The Academy is HUGE. And I mean huge. The biggest building on Cybertron. Since most of us have pretty good speed we can get there fast enough, but mostly Seros is reserved for those who are at the Academy."
"Seros?" Astro questioned.
"The City of Birth." Jetfire prompted. "There are eight major cities on Cybertron, and Seros is where the academy is. This was back when there was no war, but the remnants still exist so you can tell which city is what. As it is, Seros is well preserved because even though we're at war, both armies kind of have an unsaid mutual agreement that Seros is to be left alone. Even Megatron understands the concept that Seros equals new troops."
"But I thought Seros was where the Autobot Academy was." The girl said, "so wouldn't that mean-"
"No." Jetfire interrupted. "I think he believes that he can persuade them yet, even so."
"So if Seros is where the Autobot birthing ground is, where is the Decepticon one?" She asked.
"Their one is in Delemon – Cybertron's capital." Jetfire said. "Though it's a lot smaller so no one really notices it. I think Decepticons are mostly home schooled by their parents or they learn on their own."
"Harsh …" Astro said softly.
"Mm."
"So you said there were eight cities," the girl prompted. She did not want to continue a conversation about the harsh ways of Decepticons when there was a former one in the room, even though he was asleep. "What are the other six?"
"Well, Seros is where it all used to begin, and Delemon is where all the important meetings were held, so Delemon was naturally on the other side of the planet. Polyhex is where most end up after they retire from whatever or want a break from the stresses of work. Then there's Fibos – the Land of Knowledge. Most people thought the Academy should be there but Fibos is where there are advanced courses to go to, so there was simply no room. I guess it would be like a College area for you, only this is where every college is situated. Nartos, the City of Communication is where all our imports and exports are shipped in and out. It's also where the Space Bridge was developed and warp gates assigned. There are also a lot of monitors for deep space and whatnot that check for invaders and all a manner of things …
Hexatron is where everyone 'farms', so to speak. This is where all our metals are produced, therefore called the City of Resources. Then you've got Technico, which is like our training ground for battle. City of Warriors.
The last one is the most unusual of all. It lies along the equator in a giant ring, and is like the big Divide between Decepticon territory and Autobot territory. Biconis is its name, the Forest City. It's called this because there are natural build ups of metal and also junk that have shaped themselves into a 'forest' over time. Think your human trees but ten times bigger and made of metal, wires, cables and junk of all kinds. The only ones that live there were artists, who found it all fascinating and even helped to shape some of the bizarre metal into objects from other worlds. Also, there are natural streams of oil on the surface, so no one is stupid enough to throw a bomb in there unless they want to blow the whole planet up."
"Woah, that sounds funky!" Astro grinned.
"Well …" Jetfire sighed somewhat sadly. "Most of it is gone now, except Seros, parts of Delemon and Biconis and the Space Bridge in what was Nartos. The other Cities were pretty much wiped out."
"That's terrible …"
"Yeah …" Jetfire sighed. "I would have loved to go back to Polyhex some day. Though I don't want to now."
"Why? What happened?"
Jetfire then said something in Cybertronian. Best translated into human sounds, it would have been close to, "Elienisie dragamont in-finite Polyhex …"
"Er …" Astro glanced at him. "And that means …?"
"Well … I can't say it in human words, but in a basic sense, the entire city was bombed. Most of all our creators lived there, including my parents …" He sighed sadly again.
"Oh …" She should have known from Jetfire's explanation. "So everything is …gone?"
"Let's just say not much remains, in better words." Jetfire replied.
They were silent for a while. Jetfire glanced up at the sleeping Starscream and wondered if he had any relatives in the bombing of Polyhex … so long ago. Nearly everyone he knew was affected by the blasts, and there was tremendous guilt in both factions for it as the bombs came from each. Millions were dead …
No, Jetfire shook his head. Now is not the time to ponder on those things …
Cobalt came over and rubbed her head on Jetfire's leg, and he gratefully picked her up and sat her on his lap, stroking her fur.
That evening, Jetfire was busy eating his way though several blocks of chocolate and watching a movie when Starscream came over. He looked pale and miserable, and Jetfire felt a tinge of guilt as the ex-seeker slumped next to him.
"Can I have some of this?" He asked quietly.
"Sure." Jetfire handed him a block of Caramello.
The smaller man took it and bit the end, sighing gently. The two of them watched a late night movie playing on the screen – a famous Transformer movie made long ago …
Having spent the whole day snickering at Starscream's 'condition' with Astro, Jetfire decided to put his new partner out of his misery.
"Er, Starscream, what exactly did you think I meant when I said I got a kitten last night?" He asked.
Starscream cringed and dropped the chocolate block. As it hit with a dull thud on the mattress that was their bed, he looked at Jetfire with wide eyes.
"U-uh …" He looked down and said whisper quiet, "a baby seeker …."
"Um, well, here's the thing:" Jetfire smirked. "For one, we didn't even do anything last night when you were drunk, and for two, a kitten on Earth means a baby cat."
And here, Cobalt meowed shrilly from behind Jetfire and started purring as the man stroked her back with a finger.
"So …" The realisation of this slowly wormed itself into Starscream's brain. "If it means a baby cat then …" He looked at the kitten now on Jetfire's leg. "I'm not pregnant?"
"Pfft, no!" Jetfire laughed. "Males can't even get pregnant in the earth species!"
This slowly dawned on Starscream as he sat there, and the fact that Jetfire was trying to hide a gale of laughter made his temper rise.
"How long did you know this?" He said in a tone of forced calm.
"Um, since Astro told me at lunch - AAAAAHH!"
He screamed as he ran away from a now raging Starscream, chasing him around the room and shooting death threats left right and centre. As they flew, a disgruntled Astro poked her head up from her pillow and growled at them.
"Stop making a racket …" She grunted, then buried her head in her bed again, but the boys playing continued well into the night.
Almost done, ladies and gents. Only two more chapters to go:D