Beauty and the Bachelor Beast
Beast--
"A game? That's what you've come up with to find my true love?" I twisted around to look at Kevin, getting throughly tangled in his measuring tape.
"Hold still! We've got to make you some clothes that fit in time before the girls to come. Yes, a game. It's the only way to get through these girls quickly and find yours before Uncle Ed and Aunt Gert come home."
I sighed and stood up straight, arms out to my sides. "You said you were getting high-quality girls, ones my parents would approve of. There's no way a princess would consent to being on a game."
"Awn contrhair, my friend," said my cousin in badly accented French. "You know nothing about women. Upper-class dames will do anything to land a fairy-tale romance. It's one of the ultimate bragging rights; you can't just buy a spot in a fairy tale."
"Touche," I replied, in correct French to annoy him. French is supposed to be the language of love, and of course, Kevin didn't know any of it properly. "So how will we entertain these thirty, forty women? The only servant not on vacation is the cook!"
"You are forgetting a very able workforce available to us: the girls. They'll clean up after themselves."
"You've got to be kidding me. Society women can't tie their own shoes."
"Ah, but they will for you. Don't worry, I'll take care of everything. Your loving older cousin, here to help."
"Because if his aunt and uncle find out that their son is now Mr. Hairy thanks to him, he's a dead duck."
"And what wonderful thanks I receive. You're welcome. Now, here, read this book while I make arrangements. They'll be here anytime. Don't come down until I call for you." Kevin tossed a heavy tome on the bed and walked out the door.
I leaned over and picked up the book. It was brand-new; Kevin obviously didn't feel the need for a self-help book for his own use. How to Talk to Women was splashed across the cover in flowing gold script. I opened it to the first chapter.
"Chapter One: Opening Your Mouth
Opening your mouth around a woman is usually not a good idea. "