DISCLAIMER: I do not own either of the songs in this chapter. They belong to GreenDay (Good Riddance (Time of Your Life) from Nimrod Album) and Westlife (Close Your Eyes, Coast to Coast album). I hope this fulfils as an adequate disclaimer. Neither do I own Will, Lyra or the related characters.
Chapter five; For youThere is no you. There is just us. There is no me, just us and the feelings we share. This is how love should be, and this is what we have lost in the many years since the meaning of the word has been lost. This is for you, my darling, though you will possibly not remember me. Do you remember me, my love, or am I just another of the nothings to pass behind you?
Lyra's world
"Goodbye Davie." Lyra whispered up to the curtained window. "I'll always love you but not in the way you think. My heart will always belong to someone else." With that she turned away from his home and the area she had grown to love and walked slowly down the street to Jerico where she knew Billy would be waiting with his mother and brothers to take her to visit Farder Coram and John Faa. If the Gyptians were minding the knife for her than her once guardians would know where to look. Before she left she paused, then bent down and took a page of paper and a pen out. Sitting on the pavement below his window she began her letter.
Dearest David,
I'm sorry, but I have had to go. It might not take long, what I have to go and do, but I would hate to destroy your life by the hope that I'm going to come back. This is my final goodbye to you, because I know I'm not going to return to Oxford again for a very long time if at all. I loved you to bits Davie, but it wasn't in the way you wanted me to. My heart will always belong to the boy I told you about before, whose name I never told you was Will Parry. He was my true love and I could never love another like I loved him. I'm sorry I had to lie to you; I would have hated you to be jealous of someone I was sure I would never see again. Now the chance has come for me and Will to be reunited, I'm sure you will understand why I have to go. I will always love you, but you will always be no more or less than a brother to me. Love from: Lyra and Pantalaimon.
She turned, left the letter folded on the doorstep and headed out towards Dame Hannah's residence a few blocks away in another part of Oxford. When she reached the Dames door Lyra knocked twice and at once Dame Hannah came to the door and opened it.
"Lyra darling! Come in do. You're up very early for a day like today." She looked up at the overcast sky, down at Lyra, then at Pan, and understood at once.
"Oh, I take it its time then?"
"Yes."
"Well, I won't lie to you Lyra. I've known this day was coming for a very long time. Ever since you came home three years ago and told us of young William Parry. I think the master doubted your story at first, but after checking the facts with Serifina Peccala he believed you completely. I expect you will be seeing the witch queen while travelling?"
"In the ideal world then yes, we would greatly wish to go north, but I'm not sure would it be possible with the way things are at the moment."
"And why not? Why shouldn't you go and see your friend while you're travelling? I might not know much about the world, but I do know one thing, and this mission you've been sent on now isn't for any reason but to give you a chance to see all your old friends again. The angels and the powers of the universes work in weird ways but I think this is their way of saying thank you."
"So you're saying that I should go and stay with the witches or with Iorick Briorson? Well, I suppose I could, but I'm not sure."
"There will be no need to go and stay with them. I know what you're doing next; I spoke to Ma Costa about it myself, and don't worry. When you reach the lands of the Gyptians you will find both Serifina and Iorick waiting for you. Both of them wish to see the child they love so much now she has grown into a woman, and I'm sure they will be as amazed as I was when they see how much you really have grown."
"Oh thank you Dame Hannah. Thank you so much." Lyra got up to leave and wrapped her arms around the old lady. "I will never be able to thank you enough."
"You don't need to thank me Lyra, you'll be fine. Anyway, I've something for you before you leave, if you promise not to thank me." She grinned toothily at Lyra, and then went to the bookshelf.
"These are the books on the alethometer." She said, handing Lyra a stack of worn hardbacks, "And this is a book on the many worlds and the ways of the universe, the basis of which was put together by your father Lord Asriel before he died. The rest is an adaptation of the information I got from your stories and from Serifina Peccala and the Gyptians who travelled into the other worlds either to protect you or to bring you home when you said goodbye to Will." She smiled gently as she handed Lyra a brand-new book covered in brown leather. "I think this should be yours now, most of the information is your story, I have another less well made copy but this is for you."
"Thanks." Lyra smiled as she opened the door and stepped into the cold. "I'll treasure them always Dame Hannah, and I'll never forget you." she called as her and Pan walked out into the street, pan urging her to hurry.
Lyra, come on. Billy said they wouldn't be able to wait long after the tide. We've kept them waiting for so long; we can't keep them any longer.
"I know. I'm coming. It's hard to say goodbye Pan; he's been so much to us since we came back. I nearly feel bad to be leaving him like this.
It's worthwhile though, I know it is. Imagine, once we've found the knife we can talk to Will and Kirjava again, only without the effort. Won't that be amazing!
"Yea. I guess so." Lyra said after a long pause, then. "How long do you think it will take though?" they were walking along the side of the river, heading by this time, heading towards the bend they knew hid the Costa's boat from view.
No-body knows how long their trip will take, because who can tell what lies beyond the horizon. Could it be riches, could it be jewels, or could it be the one we love, the most precious of them all. Pantalaimon sang, and Lyra couldn't help buy join in, singing the words to a song she had once heard played in Wills world and one she had loved from the first time she heard it. Her voice filled the air around them with its sweet sound and all across the worlds a breeze rustled through the trees, sending the melody of the song across more universes than it was possible to count.
"Tomorrow morning I have to leave,
But wherever I many be
Best believe I'm thinking of you,
Can't believe how much I love you.
All we have is here tonight
We don't want to waist this time
Give me something to remember
Baby put your lips on mine
And I'll love you forever
Anytime that we find ourselves apart
Just close your eyes
And you'll be here with me
Just look to your heart
And that's where I'll be
If you just close your eyes
Till you're drifting away
You'll never be too far from me
If you close your eyes.
I know I'm gonna see you again
But promise me that you won't forget
Cause as long as you remember
A part of us will be together
So even when you're fast asleep
Look for me inside your dreams
Keep believing in what we're sharing
And even when I'm not there to
Tell you"
As Lyra's song drew to a close all the universes drew in a breath while they waited for the new Eve to sing the final line of a song that would change the way the world thought about such things, if only she was able to see it. She sang the fatal line, slightly hesitantly, putting all her feeling into it; and Wills world and all the others who had heard the magic let out a huge sigh. There was nothing so beautiful or tear wrenching as hearing a young girl with all the power in the universe sing about the depth of her feelings.
"I'll, I'll love, love you forever." She sang, and the universes relaxed after the tension that had filled them while she sang. In another world, somewhere in the deep unknown of the European outback a young girl woke up from her sleep and realised she was in love, and that she must tell the boy how she felt…
Will's World
Will heard a noise he thought he recognised and looked around, but it was nothing. Just a whisper in the trees, that was all. But no, he heard it again, and all the trees around him in the wooded avenue began to shudder, as if some huge force was drifting through them. The sound came again, louder this time,
"If you just close your eyes" the voice sang, and Will's heart jumped and missed a beat, causing him to go momentarily dizzy. "Till you're drifting away" the song continued, and Will was forced to sit down on the pavement. It wasn't that it was unusual to hear that song sung; it was a popular song and one that was often sung by girls and boys of all ages. The strange thing was, Will had heard nothing sung in that voice for years, and as the memory of the days he and Lyra had spent in his world came flooding back to him he remembered her hearing that song. He listened intently as she sang the last few lines, and then turned and walked back the way he had come. He would have to say goodbye to Lydia, he couldn't just walk out on her like he had planned. Not after hearing Lyra's song anyway, because now he had heard her singing he was sure there had been another in her life too. Maybe she didn't love this person as much as she loved him (She would have told him if she had, or Pan would have told Kirjava) but she wasn't spiteful enough to go away without saying goodbye. Maybe she was crying over him now she had finally decided to go. Or maybe she was happy?
They had decided between them when they would leave. It would be exactly a week after they had spoken, and at that time they would both set out whether they were ready or not.
Will reached into his pocket and pulled out a rough crumpled piece of paper, not realising that this was exactly the way Lyra had said goodbye to David in her world.
Dear Lydia,
I'm sorry we had a row before I left, I guess I should have been more understanding of your feelings but I was only thinking of getting away from here and travelling again. I suppose in a way I do wish I could take you with me, but I just don't think it would be right. You would feel uncomfortable with Lyra because she's so different to you. I'm sorry I lied about her too; it was because I couldn't bear to tell you the truth in case you hated me for it. Lyra was my girlfriend who I lost when we were travelling together three years ago, Mary knew her too and that was why we come together to talk about things. Mary was with me when I said goodbye to Lyra for the last time and Lyra asked Mary to look out for me and me to look out for her, which is what makes us seem so close. There are some bonds that can't be broken, and Lyra's wishes are one of those bonds. If you need to find out the truth then I would say talk to Mary Malone, she knows about what's going on and you can trust her to tell you the truth with as much as she will tell you. Look after yourself, I'll always love you but only like a little sister. Love, William Parry.
He pinned it to her door and walked away, not stopping until he reached Mary's home in the suburbs.
"Will, hi!" she smiled as she opened the door. "How're you, it's been ages since you came to visit me."
"I'm fine. Going to see Lyra today, was wondering if you want to come too."
"Well, I'd love too." The young woman smiled. "But won't you and Lyra want to be together on your own instead?"
"No, I think she would want you to come too. But it's going to be hard, and I'm going to need help. I've got to re-forge the subtle knife."
"Oh." Mary's tone, normally so light, was suddenly serious. "I never thought of the difficulties of getting back to Lyra and Pan. Obviously I'll help you while I can, but I'm not up for going too far away from home. I'm tired of travelling by now."
"Yea, I know. So am I, but I feel I've got to get back to Lyra really. Especially now the Angels have said its possible. I need to go to Lyra, but first I must re-forge the knife."
"I know. I will help you, I've said that already Will, but what I can do to help you and Lyra is bare minimum. I've been given my part in your destiny too, you know. I was the serpent and now I'm going to be the one to help you a small bit on your way."
"So you'll come with me then?"
"I'll come with you to get the knife forged, but that's It." with that Mary took the bag she had waiting by the door (because of course the Angels had spoken to her too) and the two friends walked away into the gathering dawn. As they walked away Will found himself singing one of his favourite songs and soon Mary was joining in and singing along with the words that where so familiar to them both.
'Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road
Time grabs you by the wrist directs you where to go
So make the best of this test and don't as why
It's not a question but a lesson learned in time.
It's something unpredictable but in the end is right,
I hope you have the time of your life.
So take the photographs the still frames in your mind
Hang them on a shelf of good heath and good time
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial
For what it's worth it was worth all the while
It's something unpredictable but in the end is right
I hope you have the time of your life
It's something unpredictable but in the end is right
I hope you have the time of your life
It's something unpredictable but in the end is right
I hope you have the time of your life.
Recognise the songs? The first is an extract from 'Close Your Eyes' by Westlife (Coast to Coast album); a song I thought reflected the mood of this chapter just about right. The second is 'Good Riddance (Time of Your Life)' by GreenDay (Nimrod Album) cause I love that song and I reckon it reflects the way Will hopes that travelling will lead him back to Lyra and the 'Time of His Life'. Or something like that anyway. Least that's what I'm saying cause I love it. GreenDay and Will/Lyra fluff forever. Anyway, all reviews (flames inclusive) appreciated as always, love and peace, Stargazing Maiden.
Concerning the last chapter: when I posted that it was six months after one of my really close friends had died. I miss him every day and I think it was just the stress of realising how long it's been that got to me and made me think that this story was crap. From all the feedback I've got I assume I made a mistake. I know I sound and sounded like a complete moaner and I'm sorry. Anyway, thanks for everything. Sam xxx