Hey again! Sorry the update took a bit longer. I came home meaning to write, but ended up falling asleep and only waking up now (about 2am here) BUT, being ever faithful to wonderful reviewers I have another chapter for you. Tell me if you think it's getting worse or better or whatever. Thanks!

Alex was sitting on the floor at home, a bottle of JD in her hand, half empty. Across from her there was a stain on the wall and glass below it where she had smashed a beer bottle. She looked a mess. Hair tousled and tangled with her mascara running in black tears down her cheeks. Taking another swig of the whiskey she began to sob again.

Why did I let her get to me? I knew she would be the one to break me. I had to have known, but who could have resisted that? She hates me now, I saw the way she ran. Disgusted at herself. Probably straight into Ryan's waiting embrace.

Standing Alex flung her head back and screamed as loud as she could,

"FUCK"

She let the word stretch out and when she had no more breath she collapsed to her knees in her living room sobbing, whiskey leaking onto the carpet.

Marissa pulled the car up to a stop outside Alex's apartment. As she got out of the car she heard someone scream, it sounded a lot like someone shouting "fuck" at the top of their voice. Panicking suddenly she ran to Alex's door, battering at it and shouting for her friend.

Oh god, what if she thinks I hate her? Why did I run out like that, what have I done.

When nobody answered she stuck her ear to the door, from inside she could hear the sound of near hysterical crying. Mouth dry with fear, she ran to the window, straining to open it. Thankfully it slid open easily enough. Climbing in Marissa was met with the sight of Alex, crumpled up over a bottle of Jacks and in floods of tears.

Even now, like that, she's so beautiful it makes my heart ache.

"Alex!"

Panic set in. She fell to her knees next to the crying girl and took her in her arms, rubbing her back comfortingly and stroking her hair. Murmuring incomprehensible comforts into her ear as the sobs shook her sleight frame.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry" Choked Alex between the sobs.

It scared Marissa. Alex was normally so, so calm, and collected. What had sparked this outburst of emotion.

When she had calmed a little Alex turned to Marissa and tears still rolling down her cheeks gave her a look of utter despair and asked her,

"What was it to you?"

Marissa didn't need to ask what she was talking about, she took her face into her hands and leaning forwards so they were touching again whispered her reply.

"Everything"

Alex didn't know why she had been crying like that. It wasn't her, it was so, she wanted to say wrong, but at the same time, it had felt like the right thing to do.
Damn, why am I letting her affect me this much. It was never like this. Never this bad, this affecting.

Marissa walked into the room, carrying two cups of tea. Setting one down on the arm of the couch she sat next to Alex.

"Thanks"

"It's only a cup of tea you know"

"No, I mean, thanks for the tea, but also, just thank you"

Shifting slightly closer to Alex, Marissa felt a smile spread out over her face, she must look so goofy at this moment she realised hiding her face in her cup.

"Anytime" She muttered to her tea.

For a long time they sat in silence, drinking the tea and enjoying the others company. But it was only a matter of time before the Alex started thinking again. Thinking about the heat between them where their sides touched on the couch, the way Marissa's hair was falling across her collarbone.

Snap out of it Alex, you don't even know why she ran. Why did she run? Ask her. You know you have to eventually.

"Hey, Marissa?"

"Yeah?" Marissa looked up at Alex, surprised at the sudden urge to speak.

"Why…why did you run out?"

There was a long pause. Alex felt her stomach knot up.

"If you don't want to tell me that's fine I just, I had to ask." She cursed herself for how the words spilt off her tongue in such a rush.

"No, I was just thinking, I don't really know, or I didn't."

Marissa paused for breath, and her eyes took on a far away look.

"I was scared. Not of you and not of us. But because every time something good happens in my life something always seems to happen. I always ruin it somehow. And, well nothing that good had ever happened to me and I didn't know if I could stand to see myself ruin it."

Alex's eyes widened at this confession, her heart breaking for the confused girl in front of her, baring her soul to her.

Could she be any more sexy than she is at this moment? So vulnerable and…woah, stop, she's looking for guidance, I shouldn't think this stuff.

"You don't hate me for it do you?" Marissa's voice broke slightly on the last words.

Alex was silent.

Marissa's lower lip trembled and she bit down on it, hard. Why hadn't she said something to that, why didn't she answer?

It's because she hates me isn't it. I always ruin it, why do I have to always ruin it. Just one time, let it be ok. Please.

Stunned into silence at the idea of ever hating Marissa, Alex felt unable to respond. She stared at Marissa. Watching as she bit down on her lip.

Doesn't she realise how much I want her right now? What I wouldn't give to kiss it all away, all the self doubt she has, all the fear?

Realizing that was as good a response as any she reached out, thumb brushing a tear that had slipped out away from the soft cheek , guiding her face into the kiss. This time it was softer, and somehow, said more than a years worth of words. More than an eternity of talking could convey.

The second their lips met Marissa felt something click. This was how it was meant to be, what Ryan could never give her. A connection, an understanding so deep that nothing needed to be said. With that, she felt her brain stop operating properly, becoming oblivious to everything but the feel of their lips, the intertwining of their tongues and the sweet taste of her mouth.