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Chapter 5
The kiss deepened, both Abby and Gibbs falling into a vortex of passion, neither thought, only felt; and what they felt was something neither of them had imagined in their wildest dreams. The kiss lasted an eternity as they stood pressing into each others bodies, there mouths moving over each other, into each other. Abby raised her hand to his hair and did what she had always wanted to do and ran her hands into the thick silver hair, the feel of it sliding along her fingers casing her to groan in pleasure. Gibbs returned the favour by sliding his arms up Abby's back until he reached her neck, his hands gently caressing the sensitive area there, before moving into her hair, the long silky mass that had always driven him crazy in the pigtails she always wore, suddenly Abby made a small gasp of pain, as Gibbs ran his hand over the lump on the back of her head, where she had hit it in the struggle with Flynn.
The sound worked like cold water on Gibbs and he suddenly pulled away from Abby, leaving her gasping and in shock.
Gibbs stood looking down at Abby, looking for where she was hurt but saw only desire in her eyes and swollen lips
"Christ" he muttered, coming to his senses and realising what he had just done, Gibbs spun round and strode from the room.
Abby stood staring at his retreating back for a moment, her passion numbed mind unable to grasp the sudden change from passion to pain, but slowly self preservation kicked in
"Gibbs" she shouted storming after him "Gibbs don't you dare walk away from me now" she said angrily catching up with him at the bottom of the stairs
"You cannot possibly think you can totally rock me like that and then just walk away" she said putting her arm out to stop him. Gibbs stopped but didn't turn to face her
"That should not have happened" he said, his voice biting
"Yes it should, and I am glad it did, but you are being a total bastard" Abby said angrily, not believing what he had just said
"That's because that's what I am Abby, a bastard, and no it should not have happened nor will it again" he said turning to face her, his eyes closed and dispassionate, his wall firmly back in place, at least on the outside. In truth Gibbs felt anything but dispassionate, he felt raw and exposed and very stupid, there were too many reasons for this not to work and he refused to risk the relationship he had with Abby on the sure bet that once again he would screw up another relationship. Gibbs looked at her, seeing the pain and anger warring in Abby's expressive face, and hating himself more for doing this to her, but knowing that ultimately it was for the best.
Gibbs turned on his heel and headed for the front door, but Abby got there first and stood in front of it
"No way Gibbs, no way do you get to walk away" she told him, poking him in the chest, "you want to dump me before we even get anywhere, then you are damn well going to tell me why" she shouted, her anger getting the best of her "I deserve an explanation, you kissed me, and it totally blew my mind, and I bet yours too" she finished somewhat quieter "I deserve that at least Gibbs" she said softly, her eyes pleading with him.
Gibbs watched her in that still and silent manner he had, his eyes assessing and deciding, then he slowly nodded at Abby as he ran his hand through his hair.
"Yeah, you do" he said quietly "But it wont change anything, this can't happen Abby" he said before he turned and walked into the den.
Abby followed him, her heart breaking at the brief glimpse of pain she had seen in Gibbs's eye.
"Why cant it Gibbs?" Abby said softly, crossing the room and sitting cross legged on the sofa
Gibbs watched her getting comfortable, her legs tucked underneath the white cotton gown, the sort his grandmother had worn, only on Abby it looked incredibly sexy and innocent at the same time. Gibbs turned away from her, fighting not to take her in his arms and beg forgiveness for hurting her, fighting not to kiss her senseless and find out what the nightgown hid.
He crossed over to the window and looked out gathering his thoughts
"I'm too old for you Abby, too different, not to mention that I'm your boss" he said turning to look at her, his blue eyes intense.
"They are just excuses Gibbs, I've dated older than you before don't forget, my college professor was 65, and that was fine with me, I like older men, they make so much more sense" she told him smiling gently before continuing her voice and face serious, and older than her years "why are we different Gibbs? Because I'm a Goth? Because I sleep in a coffin and like to party?" She asked him, her eyes begging him to hear her not just listen to her. "where it matters most, inside, we're the same Gibbs, its why we get along so well, its why when the others are looking to kill you, I get why your acting the way you are, because Gibbs we are the same, we're obsessive, and we care and we are both perfectionists and addicted to caffeine, but most of all Gibbs we care too much and that's what drives us the most." she paused and rose off the sofa, crossing over to him
"Gibbs give me a chance, give us a chance" she whispered as she rose up and kissed him, everything she had ever felt and thought she would never have a chance to show him in the kiss.
Gibbs groaned and tried to pull her away from him, but she wound her arms around his neck
"Tell me you don't want this, look me in the eye Gibbs and tell me you don't want me, and I'll walk away now, and we will never mention this again" she whispered into his mouth before she closed hers on him again. Gibbs held himself tightly, trying to find the strength to push her away and lie to her, but he couldn't, the strength wasn't there, and slowly he responded pulling her closer into him and deepening the kiss
"Abs, my Abs" he whispered "are you sure?" he said pulling away slightly looking down at her, his eyes torn and unsure, wanting more than he ever remembered wanting anyone before, and also more afraid than he could believe possible. Abby answered with a smile,
"More than you it seems" she said sadly, seeing the doubt in his eyes still, the fear, she pulled away, "I want you Gibbs, I have for a very long time, but I want you to be sure, because I am not looking for a quick trip to the sack, I'm looking to keep you" she warned him.
Gibbs stood looking down at her, his eyes watching, his heart racing, slowly he nodded coming to a decision, he bent and picked Abby up.