Their wandering brought them to the pier eventually. Walking under it and away from the crowds they retained their sense of privacy. Soon though they noticed a pair of figures strolling up the beach towards them. As they walked closer they became recognisable as none other than Ryan and Seth. Realising who it was Marissa quickly disentangled her had from Alex's and distanced herself from her girlfriend a bit.

"Hey Ryan, Seth. What are you guys doing out here."

"Hi Marissa, just getting some air. You know, the way us guys have to do sometimes." Seth grinned in his quirky way, avoiding eye contact with Alex.

"More like having my ear talked off" Ryan put in.

"What are you and Alex doing here, I didn't know you guys hung out" Seth gave Marissa a curious look.

"Just you know, walking. And we don't really hang out. Yeah well um, it was nice to see you guys." Marissa spoke quickly and walked away faster.

"What's up with her man?" Seth asked Ryan.

"No idea, but I could have sworn she was holding hands with Alex earlier."

"Don't be stupid man, Marissa is totally straight. However, that is an interesting idea"

Alex didn't rush to catch up with Marissa. She walked behind her, lost in her own thoughts.

Why didn't she just tell them, why deny even friendship? I know she's scared but if she really loved me like she says she does she wouldn't have let go of me. Or pretended I was nothing. Why did I have to fall for her, I knew she'd only break my heart. I just never thought it would hurt this much.

Dejected Alex looked up at Marissa's retreating form. She hadn't slowed down or looked back.

Fine. If that's how you want it.

Alex couldn't fight the anger so she gave in to it. It was easier than the hurt at least. Turning off the beach she walked back towards the pier.

After about 20 minutes of hard walking Marissa looked around for Alex. She hadn't meant to deny their relationship like that. It was just, she was so scared. Terrified that her friends would abandon her or hate her. She wanted them to know, she really did. But every time she thought about telling them or showing them how she felt about Alex her stomach knotted up with fear. She couldn't see Alex behind her. Panicking slightly she scanned the empty sand.

That's it. I've done it again. But this time I think I've really hurt her.

And then she ran, feet pounding hard upon the sand and breath coming in sharp gasps.

I just hope I can get there in time to fix this.

Alex sat on the bench and stared out over the sea. She felt the tears coming and shoved them back down. Focusing on anger helped her ignore the pain she was feeling.

She lied to me. She doesn't care. I'm an experiment, and now it's over. That's fine, I never really liked her anyway. It was only a fling.

Even as she thought it she knew it was a lie but she couldn't help clinging on to the rage.

Seeing the blonde, Marissa walked slowly up the pier towards the figure on the bench. Saying nothing she sat down beside her, reaching out a hand to clasp Alex's which lay on her lap. At the touch Alex yanked her hand away spitting out the words

"Don't touch me"

Shocked, Marissa drew back.

"Ok babe, I won't touch you"

"Don't call me that either."

"Ok. Whatever you want. Look I'm sorry I didn't meant to do"

Alex cut her off sharply.

"I don't want to hear it. It doesn't matter. This never mattered. YOU never mattered."

Even as she said it she felt her heart breaking, but she was too scared to let go of the anger, to admit how much she cared and show the depth of her feelings. Even for her, the tough girl, this went too far into the unknown.

"Alex. You don't mean that, you can't, I…"

Marissa's voice broke as she said it. She felt the hot dampness of tears sliding unrestricted down her cheeks as she feebly reached out to Alex.

"I told you. Don't touch me."

She almost shouted the words as she threw Marissa's hand off her shoulder, springing to her feet.

Don't touch me or I'll break. I don't want to break, not even for you.

Marissa stared in horror at Alex. Her pain evident in her eyes.

"Alex no, you have to listen to me"

"Ha, since when did I have to listen to you? I don't know what I saw in you. I guess I was just looking to get laid."

Marissa felt the words rip through her. She could have sworn she felt her heart shatter. She hates me. Oh god she hates me. I'm such a bitch. Why did I do that to her. She can't have meant it. Please don't let her have meant it.

Alex threw her one last furious and disgusted look before turning to leave.

"Alex! Wait, I have the car keys"

"I'll make my own way home. Don't be there when I get back."

Striding down the pier Alex let herself go and the tears flow. When she turned the corner and was out of Marissa's sight she allowed herself to sob. Still trying to clasp to the shreds of her anger she balled her hand into a fist and punched the wall of a nearby beach hut. The impact split the skin of her knuckles, leaving a red smear on the white painted wood.

"Shit"

Alex started to run. She didn't know where she was going, but she knew she needed to exhaust herself. Before the pain had a chance to come back.

I had to do it. Had to get her away from me. She deserves better than me. And I'm too vulnerable to her. I've never felt this weak in my life, this open to hurt. Even with my parents, nothing was worse than this. Nothing even came close to this. I couldn't bear it if it went deeper, if it became better and then I lost it. I have to let it go before I fall too far to get out again. I had to. Please forgive me Marissa. It was for the both of us. It was always for us.

Running along the edge of the road Alex's shoes slipped on the soft ground. She moved to the edge of the road, feeling her trainers beat out a rhythm on the tarmac, matching her gasping breaths. She didn't even hear the car. Didn't see the lights. Not until they were too close to avoid. The last thing she heard was the sharp screech of brakes deployed too late, and the acrid smell of burning rubber filled her nostrils.