Authors note: So I'm going to leave the note at the bottom!
"Alex, wait."
"What for?" The blonde shouted turning, they were in the street now, Alex's jeep just a few steps away.
"So you can tell me again how little Ryan means to you? So you can pretend there was nothing odd back there?"
"We were studying. That's all. I lied, yes. But only because I didn't want another argument with you"
"Well you've damn well gone and got yourself one now. You still love him, don't you? That's why you lied, not for me, for you."
"Stop Alex, we've been through this before. "
"No, no we haven't. You've denied it before, and I've sat there and tried to believe you. I hate how you become around him, like you're ashamed of me, of us. Everyone knows it Marissa, everyone else sees it. For gods sake, the way you simper when he's around, it's disgusting."
Marissa felt the anger building up, how can she speak to me like this, after everything we've been through she still can't bring herself to trust me.
"Well maybe if you could get over yourself and just trust me you'd realise I'm telling you the truth. Just because you grew up on your own it doesn't make you tough Alex. It makes you lonely, and bitter."
"Because you'd know all about that wouldn't you?" Alex was furious now, walking towards Marissa, "You who've had everything handed to you on a golden platter since you were born."
"In case you don't remember, my family isn't exactly nice."
"They love you Marissa, can't you see that? You're so fucking busy hating your life, hating them, that you can't see what you have. How can you complain when you have this life that so many people would kill for?"
"This isn't about my life Alex, it's about you. You need to understand that there's nothing going on between me and Ryan. You just can't trust me can you?"
"No, you're goddamn right, I can't trust you. You're a wreck Marissa, did you never think that the self pity act might be wearing just a little thin? That maybe when you tell me how terrible your life is it doesn't hurt? That I don't try and make you happy only to have some other stupid thing make your life such a drag? For me to know that whatever I do, I can't make you happy?"
"All I know is that you can't get over me and Ryan."
"Yes, you and Ryan. The couple that is meant to be, Romeo and Juliet, Anthony and Cleopatra, Robin hood and Maid Marion. I've had enough."
They stood there face to face, chests heaving with anger and grief, staring into each others eyes.
"So what are you going to do Marissa? Run back to Ryan?"
And Marissa slapped her. Full across the face. Alex reeled backwards more from shock than the impact of the blow.
"Fuck you Alex." Marissa turned on her heel and walked away leaving Alex in shock.
Marissa stood at the end of the pier staring over the water. The strong breeze toyed with her hair, blowing it across her face. All she could think of was the feel of Alex's hands running through it, the wind felt cold, empty, so different from those hands. She stared at her own hands, gripping the wood railing tightly. Closing her eyes she tried to imagine the stiff wood was soft skin, silken and malleable. Memories filled her head, images flashing in front of closed eyelids. The sparkle in her eyes when she was caught off guard by one of Marissa's kisses, the way she raised her eyebrow quizzically at a remark. The feel of fingers intertwining with her own, safe and comforting.
It was never him. It's always been her, her her her. But too late to realise that now, you've lost her. Everything you ever dreamt of, everything you needed and you let her go.
Alex shoved her bags into her jeep. She should feel something, but all she felt was numb. Numb from the pain at least.
"Alex, what are you doing?" Marissa was running up the driveway towards her now.
"Leaving." Alex didn't even bother to look up from what she was doing.
"But.."
"I've paid my half of the rent for the next 2 months, the rest is up to you Marissa."
"Alex, please, don't go. Let's talk about this."
"What is there to talk about?" Alex turned tears in her eyes. She brushed them away angrily. Shaking her head she reached out, grasping Marissa by the waist and looking her in the eyes.
"Look, it's been…" She trailed off as Marissa's hand brushed her jaw line. Taking her girlfriends hand she firmly placed it back at Marissa's side.
"What? I thought…you just can't understand it can you?" There was a desperate sadness to Marissa's voice as she said it.
"No, I can't. But that's not the problem Riss. I shouldn't have to understand it. There shouldn't be anything there for me to understand. I do know you aren't going to ever get over him though. There will always be a part of your heart that is his."
Marissa opened her mouth to argue, but was stopped by Alex's finger resting against her lips.
"Shh, just listen. I love you Marissa, but with me, I have to have it all. I can't stay here knowing there is a part of you that can never be mine. That's just too hard for me. So I have to leave. I'm sorry, it's been more than I could have ever hoped for. I won't forget you. Let's just say, you're my Ryan."
"I don't know what to say Alex."
"Sometimes, the only thing that's left to say is goodbye."
Marissa felt the hot tears coursing down her cheeks. Staring at Alex she tried to soak in every part of the girl, to burn into her memories the way her hair fell across her face and the depth in those grey blue eyes.
Just one last kiss. To remember me by..
Marissa leant in, eyes closed and kissed her. The only girl I've ever loved, the only one I ever will. She's leaving me and I can't find the words to ask her to stay.
"Goodbye" Marissa whispered as their lips broke apart for the last time.
So….Tell me what you thought. This is the pause I was talking about. But that was before I had some new plot ideas. However, there probably will still be a pause of about a week while I work up enough new material to continue. All thoughts so far would be greatly appreciated. This is where I originally planned upon ending the story. I just couldn't seem to write a believable off into the sunset end.