Chapter Six
The five girls had a giddy time strolling around the mall to pick out matching outfits for the talent show. They toured several stores while also "boy hunting". They finally settled on matching white halter-tops that had a tiny keyhole at the sternum. Ella jokingly donned them the "finger my hole" shirts, and the name stuck. Excitedly, the girls also spotted Galen Morris shopping with a few buddies that night also. The girls giggled like they were nine years old, apart from Katie, who thought Galen was a creep. While their faces were turned away, Katie thought she saw Galen wink at her. Asshole. He couldn't have done that. Katie just brushed it off as a miscommunication.
The fivesome diligently rehearsed their number, Gwen Stefani's "Hollaback Girl" that night (into the wee hours of the morning, which Josh and Donna appreciated very much) and into the school week. Each day after school and other practices, they gathered in the Lyman living room and went over each step, count by count, until they felt they were in sync enough to perform on Friday. Donna and Josh had, of course, been their unwilling audience all week, critiquing what they could, but mostly saying, "Yeah, nice job," while in the backs of their minds going "Oh dear God, please make this stop!".
On Friday afternoon, the girls assembled for one last dress rehearsal run through at the Lyman house. Taking over the living room and torturing the stereo, they shimmied, turned, and pop-locked their way through the routine as Josh, Donna, a few of the girls' friends, and unfortunately, Galen watched. Josh kept a stern pupil locked on Galen out of the corner of his eye. He stood there, with a disturbing smirk on his face and bobbing his head like an idiot. Josh didn't like the way he was looking at Audrey or….Katie? Why was he looking at Katie? Creep.
The group seemed to have the routine down pat and the small audience applauded and whistled at the performance.
"I think we've got it, girls!" Lana announced. They hugged each other in relief that everything seemed to be falling into place.
"So now we can friggin' relax for a few minutes!" Ella suggested loudly as she collapsed on to the couch.
"Just don't forget the first 'It's my shit' of each verse is the body roll, and the second is the body popping." Audrey reminded Katie. Katie was more than nervous about the performance. She was a ballet girl, not a hip-hop music ho dancer. It just didn't seem to fit at first, but she thought she'd been slowly improving. Katie had a certain reputation around school of keeping low and being a bit of a goody-two-shoes. This would blow them away!
Galen settled on the couch next to Audrey, putting his arm around her. That is, until he saw Josh shoot him a protective father glare from across the room. As casually as possible, he retrieved his arm, placing it on his lap. Audrey got up to get some water from the kitchen.
"Get me a Coke, would you?" Galen requested with a slight detection of edict in his voice. Donna looked over at him from where she was sitting on a chair, slightly disturbed by his tone. She had started to not like the kid lately. He seemed to crowd Audrey and order her around sometimes, like he had just done. Galen gave her a creepy vibe that was somewhat reminiscent of "Dr. Freeride" as Josh referred to him. Scott, an ex-boyfriend from years ago, had treated Donna less than admirably. Ever since, her mom radar had been scanning every boy her daughters encountered, searching for any hint of Scott in any of their acquaintances. Galen was sending out some major bad signals to her at the moment.
"Sure." She smiled back at him as she strolled to the kitchen, with a pep in her step. Donna knew Audrey was crazy about him. Though she didn't want to break her heart by telling Audrey what she really thought, she also didn't want her to have to go through the heartbreak and suffering she'd experienced over twenty years ago. Amazing how creeps pop up in all times in history. And then there were guys like her husband, who could sweep a girl off her feet. Donna kept her eyes open for this type also in her daughters' friends.
Donna turned her attention back to the girls.
"Ella, baby?" She called her adoptive daughter.
"Yeah?" She spun around from another conversation.
"Don't forget to drink a Gatorade or something before you perform. We don't want you passing out and having to deliver some fast-acting glucagon."
"I know, Mrs. Lyman. I won't forget." She turned her attention back to her friends. Ella's diabetes had gotten out of hand only a few times when she was in the Lymans' care. They'd injected insulin two or three times over the last ten years or so. Ella was fine as long as she paid attention to her body. It was times like this when she tended to forget.
Though the Lymans loved going to see their daughters in recitals, sports games, and cross country meets, there was always that chance that some asshole who thought he knew everything about politics would ruin their evening. He (or she – but normally he) would recognize Josh or Donna from TV and decide to take it upon himself to instruct one of them how to vote on issues and how to do their jobs. Unfortunately, so was the case that night at the talent show. Josh and Donna had walked into the room only seconds before when a decidedly evil-looking man walked up to them.
"Josh and Donna Lyman, right?" he smiled, putting out his hand.
Josh bravely shook his hand as he felt a pit in his stomach. Just what he needed tonight. But he had to be polite. "Yes, sir. And you are…"
"Richard Miller…"
"Well, Dick," Josh called him a name while still being civil, "It's really nice to meet you, but we need to find our seats." Donna hooked her arm with her husband's and they tried to walk away from the uneasy situation.
"Wait, wait." He put an oppressive hand on Josh's. "You got kids who go here?"
"Yes, we do. Now, if you'll excuse us…"
"No, no, no." Dick wasn't going to let them go just yet. "So, you fought for a public education bill a few years back and you send your kids to a private school? Talk about hypocrisy! What about the rest of the country who don't have any other options? I mean," he chuckled, "I work two jobs to send my son here."
Donna looked away, knowing this was going to tick Josh off. She hoped her husband wouldn't make a scene of it.
"Sir, it was just a decision that…"
Donna interrupted him, knowing Josh was probably about to say something really stupid as he always did when someone crossed a certain line.
"Mr. Miller," Donna started, and Josh immediately turned his attention to his beautiful wife, her hair delicately held in place with a hair clip, "Thank you so much for your candor. We didn't decide to send our two daughters here because it is a private school. As two people in the public eye, we wanted to send our girls to a school with an understanding and supportive community. NSNV seemed like a perfect fit, and as I'm sure you understand, having a son of your own, how important it is for your child to go to school that is nonjudgmental and accepting of all families. Thank you so much for demonstrating that tonight. Good evening."
Donna tugged on her husband's arm, pulling him away from the man, who had transformed into an open-mouthed idiot with nothing worthwhile to say back. Josh smirked back at him, as if his big sister had just beat up a bully for him. That's my girl, Josh thought to himself. Just when Josh thought he knew everything there was to know about his wife, she blew him away with something new like she'd just done. Not that he didn't know she had excellent argumentative skills, but she never ceased to amaze him.
"Who's da woman?" she said in a quiet victory to her husband.
"You are, baby." Josh kissed her cheek. "You are."
The girls were to be the fifth act to perform out of about fifteen. The acts were mixed, with some students dancing, singing, and doing stand-up. They sat patiently through a couple horrible acts, accented by one girl's horrible misinterpretation of an interpretive dance. Josh and Donna counted their blessings that Katie and Audrey hadn't gone down that route.
Finally, it was time for the fabulous five. They took their formation on the stage, all matching in dark blue hipster jeans and the "finger my hole" halter tops. All five girls had their hair pulled back in a messy bun, with a matching white elastic headband to hold it back.
The judging committee, which consisted of almost entirely football players, looked pretty enthralled as the girls performed their over-rehearsed, zealous dance number, throwing themselves around gracefully and perfectly in-sync. They'd been holding back while rehearsing. Perhaps it was the excitement of performing for their peers, but all five seemed to put a little extra zest into their movements. They were especially blown away by Katie's surprisingly excellent "ho-dancing" skills. She'd been falling back on her ballet training (though she was never too good at that, either), pointing her toes when she shouldn't and posing her arms in such a way that seemed out of place. But now, she was really blowing the others away. Josh's eye caught Galen in the second row, gazing up at the girls. By golly, he was staring at Katie again. What the hell is that ass trying to pull? What a hair-do.
After their huge finish, Josh and Donna rose to their feet, cheering and hollering for the five girls. They'd done an amazing job having only pulled it together in a week.
As the clapping died down, Josh whispered to his wife.
"I don't like that Galen kid, Donna. And I'm not just being overprotective."
"I know, Josh. He's starting to give me the creeps too."
"Did you see him just now? And at our house?"
"He was looking at Katie." Donna stated, having observed the same things as Josh. "And I didn't like the way he was doing it."
"Remind you of anyone?" Josh asked, knowing his wife would know he was talking about Dr. Freeride.
Donna gave him an unhappy smile in agreement as they sat back down in their seats.
"We need to talk to Audrey, I think." Donna told Josh.
"You can. She won't listen to me." Josh said, speaking what they both knew was the truth. If it was important, they knew Donna was the one to handle it with Audrey, and Josh with Katie.
Donna sighed, not wanting to have the conversation.
The girls managed to secure third place that night, losing only to a comedic performance of Vanilla Ice's "Ice Ice Baby" and some phenom girl who belted out a Whitney Houston song like she was Whitney herself. Josh and Donna managed to squeeze through the crowd to congratulate their daughters and their friends.
"Mom! Dad!" Katie called out as she spotted them inches their way through the crowd.
Josh reached her first. "Hey, honey! You were great! You really came out of your shell tonight. We were so proud of you." He hugged her, but decided not give her the kiss he wanted to on her head in public. He'd never hear the end of that. Donna went to Audrey and Ella who were standing nearby, all smiles.
"I can't believe we actually got third place." Katie exclaimed. Of course, if it was up to Josh, they'd have won, hands down.
"You should've gotten first. Dumbass judges." He smiled.
"Dad, is it okay if we go celebrate a little? On our own?" She clarified. It was tradition in the Lyman household to all go out for ice cream after a dance recital, but Josh guessed she was feeling a little too old for that. It hurt, but it was just one of the painful steps in letting them go.
"Yeah, sure honey." He agreed. Katie could detect a hint of disappointment in her father's voice.
"We can have some ice cream when we get home, okay?" She suggested, reading him like a book.
"That's likely. I'll probably be long fast asleep." He pointed out. They managed to fall asleep around ten these days. Not quite kicking it anymore.
Katie smiled at him and he instantly forgave her.
"Okay, well don't get home too late. Twelve o'clock curfew, okay? And don't do anything crazy."
Katie rolled her eyes. "I know, dad. We'll be responsible." She promised him.
Josh and Donna managed to pry themselves from the girls and headed for the door. They both saw Galen going over to congratulate them on their way out, once again reminding them of his scandalous prowl of their daughters.
The girls finally got the hell out of the school gym and were about to pile into Katie and Audrey's car, glad-handing each other. As they neared the car, they discovered that Galen and his friends had apparently beat them there and playfully vandalized their car. Written on the car were phrases like, "Hollaback girl driving" and "Honk if you love hos".
"Those fucking fuckers!" Audrey yelled. "This shit better come off!"
"Relax, Audrey," Ella told her. "It's wash-off." She chipped some of the paint off with her fingernail.
"Those ass chuggers are going to pay." Audrey was immediately in a retaliatory mood, and the rest of the group joined her as they got in the car.
A smile crept across four faces, all but Katie's. Soon after, a collective evil laugh swept over the car-full of hormone-driven teens.
"Audrey." Katie shot her sister a look from the passenger seat. Katie felt her word meant something and didn't want to break the promise she'd just made to her dad. She had a feeling she was definitely the minority in this situation. Audrey was in another one of her dangerous moods and her friends were just egging her on.
"Oh, Katie, it's all in good fun." Audrey dismissed her sister.
"What's the matter, Katie?" Ella piped from the middle of the back seat.
"I just don't want it to go overboard, that's all." She told them. Plus, she didn't want to be anywhere near the boy. Ever since he sort of winked at her at the mall last week, she'd gotten an odd vibe from him. Tonight, she caught him staring at her while they were doing their dance.
"Katie, you worry too much." Audrey told her. "We're just going to have a little fun. Now what are we going to do?"
The girls carefully devised a plan to get the guys, intoxicated in giddiness.
Turning their headlights off, the Honda Accord slowly pulled into Galen's neighborhood. They aborted the car, and slowly crept up to his house, ketchup-soaked tampons in hand. All guys were afraid of tampons, they figured. Trying to keep the giggles down, they threw the tampons all around the Morrises' lawn, in the trees, and in the bushes. Finally, as a parting gift, they decided they were going to throw some at Galen's window to get his attention.
"One….two…..three…" They counted down, and all five threw their final tampon at the far left window on the second floor, each making a soft thud and leaving a blob of ketchup. Then, they ran like hell, looking back as often as they could to see if he stirred. Finally, the curtains were pulled aside and they saw one of Galen's friends in the window. They heard a muffled, "Uuuughhh!" coming from their general direction. The five girls darted to their car, crying tears of victory as they cracked up. Audrey slammed on the gas and started to speed away. Within twenty seconds, Galen was out the front door followed by two of his friends and they started to run down the street after them. Audrey drove faster as they all started to scream in an excited panic.
After the cheering and the initial shock wore off, the girls settled down, wondering what was coming next.
"Do you think they'll retaliate?" Lana asked, still in a frenzy. Katie's heart dropped in fear. If they came to their house, who knows what they'd do. If anything happened to the house, their parents would be pissed.
"They better not. But we better be prepared." Audrey said. Then the attention of all five girls was caught by a red and blue siren flashing and wailing right behind their car.
Josh and Donna were slightly disappointed they couldn't celebrate like they always had with their daughters, but having the night to themselves definitely helped. They were enjoying a little bubbly as they sat down on the couch. Josh sat in the middle of the love seat and Donna laid at the left end, with her legs on his lap.
"You really showed that Dick who was boss tonight." Josh told her, still amazed with what she could deliver. He gently massaged her bare feet.
"I try." She smiled. "You were getting your ass beat. I had to jump in and save you."
Josh's mouth opened in shock. "I was not getting my ass kicked, thank you very much."
"Oh, he had you in a corner, Josh. You had nowhere to go."
"I was about to give him the ass-kicking of a lifetime until you interrupted."
"Oh, I interrupted a moment of your brilliance, huh?" She reached up and cupped his left cheek in her right hand.
"Damn right."
"Well, next time, I'll just keep my mouth shut and let that 760 verbal speak for itself." She stroked his face with her thumb.
He made an expression with his face as if to say, 'sounds like a plan'.
"Joshua Lyman, you may be a Fulbright Scholar, but you are a complete idiot." She said candidly. "Good thing you have me."
"I don't know about that." He teased, moving his hand off her foot and up and down her calf.
"Yes, you do." She moved her hand from his face to the back of his neck and pulled her husband down to her decisively and planted a heated kiss on his lips.
"Donnatella Moss Lyman," he started seriously, "You never seize to amaze me." Then he began to kiss her back passionately, running his hand through her soft, blonde hair.
Things were starting to get heated when the doorbell rang.
Josh stopped, disappointed.
"Oh, Christ." He cursed. "Who the hell is that?"
"It's probably Dick coming back to start a fight." Donna teased. "Go defend yourself!"
"You stay there. I'm not finished with you." He gave her a seductive look as he walked towards the front door. It was then that he noticed red and blue lights outside their house. This couldn't be good.
Josh never thought he'd see his daughters being brought home by the police, but pigs fly. He opened the front door to find a police officer standing before him with his two daughters standing behind him. Katie was crying and looked down at her feet, obviously distraught, and Audrey just looked angry.
"Mr. Lyman?" The policeman started.
"Yes, officer?" He looked at him and then quickly shifted his eyes to his kids. Josh was sure he looked pretty scary at that moment. He didn't know what to think. But he was undoubtedly infuriated.
"Are these yours?" He asked.
The lights had now caught Donna's attention and she came to join her husband at the door. Josh exchanged a vexed and cross glance with his wife.
"Yes, they're ours." Josh admitted. "What seems to be the problem, officer?"
The officer took off his hat. "Well, sir, your daughters seem to be involved in a prank played on a young man named Galen Morris. Does that name ring a bell?"
"Yes, sir, it does." Josh tried to be as polite and agreeable as possible with the officer, not knowing how serious the situation was. Katie tried to wipe the tears from her eyes but more quickly began to fall. Audrey just stared at the wall with a defeated but defiant look on her face.
"Well, it involved ketchup-soaked tampons. They can explain later." He didn't dare get into it. "But a neighbor called the police because she suspected vandalism or a break-in. I pulled over a Honda Accord with five girls inside. The other three have been taken home already."
Josh sighed, trying to take this all in. Donna put a supportive hand on her husband's arm, which joined his other now crossed in front of him, but she was just as baffled as he was.
"Are there any charges, officer?" Josh prayed there weren't. What a media nightmare that would be.
"Thankfully not, Mr. Lyman." The officer reported "We talked to the Morrises and they agreed not to press any charges as long as I brought each of them home and spoke to you personally."
"That's wonderful news, sir, and thank you for bringing them home. I can assure you there will be repercussions at home and this won't happen again."
"I appreciate it, sir." He put his hat back on. "They're all yours."
"Thank you officer." Donna called as he walked down the Lymans' steps.
Josh dropped his arms and put one hand on the doorknob, opening the door wider and one perched angrily on his left hip.
"Get in the living room, now." He ordered them, both of them still avoiding eye contact. Audrey was the first to move, as she angrily marched into the house, her arms crossed. Katie followed timidly, still tearful. Obviously, she was remorseful, but Audrey was the opposite.
"Dad, I didn't…." Katie started.
"Katie, don't." Josh snapped. "Just get in the house." As Katie passed him on her way, he slammed the front door and quickly turned himself in a circle not knowing what to do. He ran one hand through his hair and then wiped his mouth in thought.
Donna could tell he was going to explode.
"Josh, you need to calm down."
Josh snapped his head in his wife's direction like she'd just said the most unbelievably impossible thing in the world.
"Calm down?" he repeated. "CALM DOWN? My daughters were just brought home by the police!" They stood in the doorway as the girls took their seats in the living room.
"Josh, if you go in there and yell at them, they're not going to listen to a word you say, especially Audrey. They'll just hate you."
"You're damn right they're gonna hate me when I get done with them." He started again. "This is serious, Donna. A COP brought them home." Josh emphasized.
"We don't know the whole story."
"Yeah, I bet that little fucker Galen is right in the middle of it. Just wait till I get my hands on that piece of scum."
"Okay, Josh, you're just getting more wound up. Take a few deep breaths." Donna put a hand on his chest, trying to calm him down. Josh tried to do as his wife asked and she could feel his heartbeat slow down a little after a minute or so.
"Are you calm now?" She whispered to him.
Josh glanced into the living room where the girls were sitting. Katie was hugging a pillow, still weepy with one leg tucked underneath her. Audrey sat cross-legged with a scowl on her face.
"Yeah, I'll be fine." He tried to reassure her, but Donna wasn't entirely convinced.
"Okay." She took his hand. "Let's go." Together, they walked into the living room where the girls still avoided their eyes. Josh gave his wife's hand one last squeeze, and then he stuffed his hands into his pockets as they stood in front of the couch.
"Girls," Donna began, crossing her arms and shifting her weight to one leg, "We're not going to go into how shocked we are that you were brought home tonight by the police. But we want to give you a fair opportunity to tell us what happened from your point of view."
The girls exchanged a worried look, trying to decide who would be the one to explain the story. Audrey seemed too angry to share anything. Audrey was sometimes difficult to read. Sometimes when she was so angry or just didn't know where to start, she shut down and kept her emotions bottled up. So seemed to be the case tonight.
Katie looked back down at the ground and played with her pant leg.
"Katie," Donna said, "Why don't you tell us what happened?"
Katie twisted her mouth to one side for a moment before letting out a huge sigh.
"Well," She started, but started getting teary-eyed again.
Donna walked over to her and sat down next to her, putting a hand on her forehead and stroking some fallen pieces of hair back.
"Just calm down and take your time. We just want to hear your side."
Katie finally looked at her mother with sorry eyes and then looked up at Josh. She quickly looked away as he had a challenging look in his eye, much like he looked at a political opponent. She decided to turn her attention back to her mother.
"We were walking out to the car to leave and Galen and his friends had written stuff all over our car with that erasable paint stuff, you know?"
Donna nodded and listened.
"So they all thought it was a good idea to get 'em back, you know, so we went and got…tampons from the store and ketchup. I really didn't want to, but I ended up doing it too." She said honestly. Katie was the one who always had a conscience – she was always honest, even if it meant she was in trouble. She took in some quick, tearful breaths. "And so we drove to his house and threw them at his window and in his yard and then we sped away. That's when the police stopped us. I guess his neighbor called because she thought we were vandalizing the property."
"Well, that's exactly what you were doing, Katie," Josh finally jumped in. "You're damn lucky there weren't any charges pressed against you. Do you know what kind of media coverage that would get?" Josh gestured with his arms like he was posting a newspaper headline in the air "Josh and Donna Lyman's daughters arrested for vandalism'."
"Sorry, dad, we screwed up!"
"You think!" He yelled.
"Josh." Donna gave him a look, trying to remind him to stay calm
Audrey's breathing had slowly been getting quicker over the past minute, and she finally snapped.
"That's all you care about is how you look to your goddam political opponents and the public!" She yelled back at him, standing up. "What about how we feel? We were humiliated!"
"You were humiliated because you made a horrible decision to listen to your hormones and not your head!" His hands were flying furiously as he walked closer to Audrey. "You could've come home and that would've been the end of it, but you decided to be childish and immature."
"It was a harmless prank, dad! How were we supposed to know that friggin Betty Crocker would call the pigs?"
"How many other times have you pulled stupid crap like this and not had the cops called on you?"
"Fuck you!" Audrey screamed at the insinuation, and immediately started storming towards her room. Josh was about to tear after her until his wife's voice called him back to sanity.
"Josh! Just leave her! Don't go in there when you're this mad."
Josh spun himself back around and sat down on the couch, resting his forearms on his knees and looking down at his shoes.
Katie was crying again and Donna now had her arm around her daughter as she curled up into a ball.
"I'm sorry…" She managed to get out.
"Shhhhhh…." Donna hushed her daughter. Katie was obviously remorseful. If Josh or Donna so much as looked at her, that was enough to put her back in line usually. The threat of punishment was more effective with her than actual punishment. But as had happened many times before, the girls had gotten in trouble together, so they couldn't hand out different penalties. Josh couldn't help but think back to the first time the girls had gotten in major trouble together. The beginning of an era of mischief together as a team.
Flashback
Like on many other warm spring Saturdays, the Lyman family decided to go for a stroll around the neighborhood. Audrey and Kaitlyn, aged four, had each just received brand new matching tricycles as a present from their grandmother and were dying to test drive them. So, the family of four set out on one of their walks. The girls slowly but surely started pedaling their way down the sidewalk as Josh and Donna walked closely behind them. They didn't have to walk very fast as the girls didn't have much muscle power in those tiny legs of theirs.
"Mommy! Daddy! Look at me!" Audrey called from under her bike helmet that seemed twice the size of her head. Donna insisted they wear the helmets even though they'd be with them the whole time closely behind.
"You're looking good, baby doll!" Josh called, taking his wife's hand in his. Audrey turned her head to look back at them to see their proud faces she so often looked to for approval. As she turned her head, she also turned her handlebars, sending her veering off course into someone's lawn. She let out a little screech.
"Woah, look out there." Donna rushed to her aid, taking control of the handlebars and repositioning her on the sidewalk. "Keep your eyes on the road, okay baby?"
"Okay, mommy." She agreed. Katie was close behind her sister, looking just as adorable in her tiny blue jeans and a flowery shirt. The girls weren't dressed alike. Donna thought it important that they each had a sense of their own identity, not one half of a pair of twins. Audrey was dressed in overalls and a yellow shirt with tiny white polka dots. Audrey never wore pink, as it was too "girly girl" for her liking, as she had so adamantly explained.
"Audrey, slow down!" Katie begged her sister, who was only just getting the hang of this pedaling thing.
"You can do it, Katie," She encouraged, "Just push really hard!"
Josh brought their connected hands up and kissed the back of Donna's hand, silently thanking her for his children.
"Hard to believe they're already four. In their second year of preschool." He commented.
"I know it." She said. Even though the girls were still so young, it was scary how cliché they had already become. One twin with dark hair, the other with blonde. One was bubbly and outgoing, the other shy and sweet. They were like day and night at the tender age of four. They complimented each other so well and they were fast becoming best friends and defending each other to the grave. Katie and Audrey were a team for better or worse.
"I wanna rock and roll all night!" Audrey was a new fan of singing and she belted out a Kiss tune "And party every day!"
Donna immediately looked over at Josh, who had a guilty look on his face.
"Joshua Lyman!" She scolded him. "Have you been listening to this while the girls were in the car?"
"Guilty as charged." He admitted. "I can't help it, I just forget sometimes." He tried to build himself a case.
"But Kiss of all people." Donna muttered. "You push me over the edge." She smiled.
The happy family continued down the sidewalk and the girls soon saw one of their pals, Matt Thompson, playing in his front yard.
Donna leaned over to whisper something to her husband.
"Audrey told me yesterday that she and Matt are boyfriend and girlfriend." She informed him. "She held his hand yesterday at recess."
Josh scrunched his eyebrows. "She's starting early, isn't she? I thought she was dating Ethan Jacobs."
"Apparently, she's dating both of them." Donna thought it was adorable. "And she's telling everyone at preschool that she has two boyfriends."
Josh tilted his head back and let out a punctuated laugh. The girls had already jettisoned their bikes in the middle of the sidewalk and run over to their playmate. Mrs. Thompson emerged from gardening her tulips, having been obscured from sight by a bush. The three parents met in the middle of the lawn by their playing children. She wiped a bit of sweat from her brow with the back of her hand and then set both on her hips, a shovel still in her grasp.
"Mr. and Mrs. Lyman!" She happily greeted them from behind her pale pink sunhat, having to tilt her head back a bit to see them. "What a pleasant surprise! Hi girls."
"Hi, Mrs. Thompson." The girls said in unison. Katie and Audrey had been taught impeccable manners, as they would likely be in the public eye most of their young lives.
"May we play with Matt's toys?" Audrey asked, putting a hand above her eyes to shield the bright sun.
"You most certainly may." She said, impressed, smiling down. Then she turned her attention back to the adults. "What brings you down this way?" The Lymans lived relatively close by, but they had been walking for about fifteen minutes, taking them several blocks from their home.
"The girls desperately wanted to test out their new bikes." Josh said, gesturing his arm in the general direction of the bikes.
"Oh, and what lovely bikes they are!" Mrs. Thompson exclaimed. "But I thought I saw you riding them yesterday down by Ella's house." She looked down at the two girls.
Katie and Audrey immediately stopped what they were doing and looked at one another. This comment immediately caught Josh and Donna's attention, as this had been the first time they'd taken the girls out riding their new bikes. The girls had been told not to ride their tricycles unless Josh or Donna was with them. They looked down at the girls with a collective four eyebrows raised.
"Girls, is this true?" Donna questioned them.
Audrey and Katie continued to exchange glances, not knowing what to say. Katie early showed her integrity by speaking up and telling the truth.
"Yes, mommy, we did." She said quietly, looking down at the toy car she held in her hand.
"I thought daddy and I told you not to ride them unless we were with you."
"I know, mommy." Katie explained. "But Ella really wanted to see them and we wanted to show her real bad, so we rode them over when the babysitter was taking a nap."
The babysitter napping also caught their attention, but they'd deal with that later. Ella was a new friend the girls had met at preschool. She wasn't exactly bad, but she did tend to get into mischief and take Katie and Audrey with her.
"Girls, I think we need to head home and have a little talk." Josh announced, hands behind his back with a serious look on his face. Audrey still hadn't said anything. She knew she'd been caught, but didn't look too sorry. She continued to play with the airplane she'd picked up a few minutes before, making it sail through the air in her hand.
Josh gently caught her hand and took the airplane from it.
"Hey!" She called out.
"Audrey, we need to give this back to Matt. It's time to go home." Josh reaffirmed, setting the toy back down on the lawn.
"No!" She whined as he pulled her to her feet.
"Come on, Katie." Donna said. "Time to go. Will you say thank you to Mrs. Thompson and Matt for letting you play with the toys?"
"Thank you Matt. Thank you Mrs. Thompson." Katie said with her tiny voice.
Josh shook Audrey's arm gently to cue her in.
"Say thank you." He told her as she either didn't get it or chose to ignore him.
"Thank you!" Audrey said, insincerely as they walked back to the bikes. Donna followed closely behind, holding Katie's hand.
"Donna, do you wanna walk them back and I'll carry the bikes?" Josh suggested, looking back at his wife.
"Sounds like a plan." She said. Josh let go of Audrey's hand and Donna held out her free one. As Audrey took her mother's hand, they slowly but surely began to walk down the street back to their house. Josh picked one tricycle up in each hand and followed behind his wife and daughters. They weren't too heavy, but three blocks? He might have to stop.
On the way back home, Donna began to have a conversation with the girls about what had just happened. She tried to point out the logic of why what they did was wrong and dangerous. They finally reached the front door of their house and Josh placed the bikes down in the garage in relief.
"Your daddy and I don't want anything to happen to you. You can't just wander off on your own." She explained calmly. "You're both very smart girls and I know you want to do a lot by yourselves, but what you did was dangerous." She led them to the couch in the living room and sat them down next to each other, their feet dangling over the edges as their legs weren't long enough. Donna knelt down in front of them, still holding their hands. "Do you understand what I mean?" She looked back and forth between them. Katie's eyes told her that she understood but Audrey looked defiantly back at her.
"But we didn't get hurt, mommy." Audrey protested, knowing she was still in trouble. She early started to debate herself out of difficult situations, especially when she knew she was in hot water. By this time, Josh had come in from the garage and had perched himself on the couch arm next to Audrey.
"But Audrey," Josh started, "You could have very easily been hurt. And you disobeyed your mom and me. That's not okay."
Audrey scrunched up her eyebrows and her bottom lip came out a little bit as she crossed her tiny arms in front of her.
"Now, you both need to go to your rooms and think about what you did, and what you'll do next time if the same thing happens. Mom and I will be back in a little while to tell you your punishments."
"What's pushment?" Katie mispronounced.
"Punishment." Josh corrected her. "It means a consequence when you do something wrong."
"What's cossekwiss?"
"Consequence, honey." Josh corrected her again, noting the charm in her mispronunciation. He sometimes forgot that his four-year-olds didn't have the same verbal capabilities as he did. "Don't worry, we'll explain when we come back."
They both got off from the couch and started to walk towards their respective bedrooms. Audrey almost skipped, obviously not bothered, whereas Katie slowly kicked her feet out in front of her, looking down at her shoes.
"Oh, God." Josh said as he let himself fall from the arm to the seat cushion when both doors were finally closed. Donna stood up and took the seat next to him and they locked hands. "How adorable was that? I can't punish her." Katie was his weakness. She most definitely had him wrapped around her finger.
"Josh." Donna brought him back to reality.
"Audrey didn't seem sorry at all. Just sorry she'd been caught." Josh pointed out.
"Rascal. What do you think we should do? I'm new at this."
"I have no idea." Josh admitted. Thank God Katie and Audrey didn't know the kind of power they had over their parents. They'd take over the world if they did. "They sure like the TV. Aren't we supposed to not let them do something they like a lot?"
"That's what I've heard." Donna said.
"I think we should take it away from Audrey for longer."
"Huh?" Donna asked, bewildered.
"Katie obviously showed remorse and she was sorry. I think that should be recognized."
"Josh, we can't hand out different punishments for the same offense."
"Why not?" He looked at his wife questioningly.
Donna let out a huff. "They're twins, Josh. They'll think you have a favorite."
"I don't have a favorite. I'm just trying to reward honesty and repentance."
"I know you are, but that's not going to be how they see it. Audrey will think you like Katie more."
"Donna…." He thought she was being ridiculous.
"Everything I have heard from other parents of twins is to make sure you treat them the same and discipline them consistently. It's just going to confuse them."
Josh looked at his wife, who had a serious look on her face and thought for a moment. As soon as Donna found out she was carrying twins, she'd read all the books and magazine articles she could get her hands on and even joined a local "Mother of Twins" group. Donna was a textbook expert on twins, so maybe he should listen to her after all.
"Okay." He gave in. "If you feel that strongly about it."
"I do." She reinforced her stance. Donna gave his hand another supportive squeeze.
"Okay." He smiled slightly at her. "You ready?"
"Yeah." They got up off the couch. "Do you wanna take Audrey and I'll take Katie so you won't chicken out?"
"You know me too well." Josh said.
End of flashback
Josh sat on the same couch twelve years later in a slightly more complicated situation. Katie and Audrey had again gotten themselves into a world of trouble together. Just like before, Katie seemed remorseful and he felt she'd been punished enough, and Audrey had once again proven she didn't really give a damn. And now she had a smart mouth to go with her brazenness. Perfect. He turned to his wife and daughter.
"Katie, why don't you go to your room so your mom and I can talk." He suggested in a calm voice.
Katie wiped her eyes and nodded in agreement.
"I'm sorry, dad. I really am." She said sincerely.
"I know it, baby." He reached his arm out to her and she came over and gave him a hug. "I'll see you in a few minutes, okay?"
"Okay. Bye mom." She told her mother on her way to her room.
Josh waited to speak until Katie's door was closed.
"You still think we shouldn't punish Audrey more for being a smart ass?" Josh asked her seriously.
Donna looked over at Josh, tired. "You know we can't."
"But she used the 'f' word." He pointed out.
"We can't let her know her poor choice of words gets to our emotions." Donna argued.
"But it did. And people react to it the same way in the real world. She needs to learn that cussing at people will just piss them off and bring dire consequences."
"If we don't acknowledge it, she'll probably stop."
"Probably." Josh said in a chastising tone.
"We just tell her that we don't care for her choice of words and still hand out the same punishment."
Josh and Donna didn't often disagree on how to raise the girls, but this was a subject that had often come up throughout the years. Audrey had always been one to be unremorseful for her actions and even mouthy. Donna had no problem punishing her more severely when it was just her that misbehaved, but when it was a joint venture with her sister, she strongly felt they should be treated the same. Josh obviously felt differently.
"And it was that damn Pint kid again who started all the trouble." Josh commented. "Are you going to tell her to stop dating him when you go in there?"
"I don't know if it's a good time for that, Josh."
"I think it's a perfect time. He got her into this."
"But she made the choice to retaliate, like you pointed out earlier."
"Fine, Donna." Josh was just tired.
"I think we should sleep on it tonight. Let's wait till tomorrow when we all feel a little more rested."
"Okay. I'll go tell Katie." He quickly claimed the 'good twin'.
"Alright." Donna agreed. "See you in bed."
Josh was sure that Katie probably cried herself to sleep that night. She hated to be thought of as anything but trustworthy in her parents' eyes. When Josh went to her room to say goodnight, he tried to reassure that he was disappointed in her actions, but proud that she was honest and told them the truth. He knew it helped a little bit but she'd still beat herself up.
That night, Josh and Donna snuggled in bed.
"How'd it go with Audrey?" Josh questioned.
"As good as can be expected." She simply explained. Josh knew exactly what she meant. Audrey had taken in the information like Donna had read off a grocery list. Josh had a few choice words for her, but knew it wasn't a good idea to verbalize them.
"Katie was still upset."
"I know. I went in to see her after you left."
"Really?"
"I wanted to end the night on a more positive note. We got somewhere with her, at least."
"Yeah." Josh kissed his wife on the cheek. "We'll deal with that other one in the morning. Goodnight, sweetheart."
"Goodnight." Donna whispered.
In Josh's head, he began to stir up some different ways he could get back at that Quart kid. He was going to kick his ass. Galen Morris – a skidmark on the underpants of society.
To be continued…