Sirius lay beside him, shivering violently in the darkness...again.

Remus, waking up quickly, soothed nothings in a soft voice as he reached out for his wand. A quick spell later, and floating flames of soft blue hovered at key positions around the room. They didn't even flicker, so there were no arcanely moving shadows. Just a little bit of light, to keep the darkness away.
Just one more night.

One night at a time.

Remus had known it wasn't going to be easy to reclaim what had been lost. In fact, he had been quite sure- that moment when a half-starved dog with matted black fur had scratched at his door, Dumbledore's written orders to lay low tied to his collar - that reclaiming was entirely out of the question. There would be no going back, no grasping for the past. They would just have to keep moving ahead, farther on and farther in.

"Was it the same dream?" Remus asked gently, a hint of resignation and remorse in his voice.

Sirius remained curled up in the warm comfort of Remus' arms. He nodded his head weakly. It was always the same: Dementors. Everywhere. Washing over him - his pain and deconstruction following in their wake. Dementors. Swallowing him whole.
Even though they were so far away, after twelve years the hopelessness still clung to him. He could feel it like a weight holding him down. No matter what Sirius did during the day, when he closed his eyes, all he had left inside was darkness. All he had left were the memories they left him - the bad ones. The pain. The suffering. The fear.

And there was no way to fight that. Before the Dementors, Sirius had been taught all his life that enemies and evil are fought with fists and with wands. That strength and fortitude would instill fear into the enemy. Would make them suffer... But, if the enemy would merely thrive, grow stronger, the more pain and frustration and suffering he threw at them... how could a Dementor ever be beaten?

Sirius sobbed brokenly into the side of Remus' neck.

"I...just...don't... know...how...to... fight...them..." he gasped like a child frightened by a boggart.

Remus soothed, and clung tightly to his lover. It tore him to pieces to see Sirius so broken, so far from the man he had once been.

"I ..want to... fight... fire with fire..." Sirius continued to gasp, trying to let all the murky blankness pour out of him. "...but what... does... a ...Dementor fear?"

Remus turned tenderly then, pulling Sirius up close to his body. He held Sirius' head between his hands, and gently kissed away the wet streaks left on his cheeks.

"This." he said, his voice like warm honey swirled in tea...
And they made love.