Hey peoples, another update for ya'll because you chose to go easy on the hate mail. Believe me it was hard to write this chapter when I did it. And Kate is not meant to look stupid she's got the imbalance of hormones remember? Plus trust issues. Throw in a baby and an island and I'd say you've got one hell of a soap opera.

Pangs Of Guilt

Chapter 17

Lonely Night

Jack walked out of the cave slowly, struggling to put his backpack on, while trying to wrap his mind around what had just happened. Suddenly his cold was the least of his worries; it seemed to disappear as he processed what she had said to him.

He took a deep breath and blinked, he couldn't see her anywhere around the caves. How could she have gotten away so fast, especially in her condition she wasn't in the shape to walk let alone run?

"Goodbye Jack…"

Goodbye Jack? His mind questioned him again, what had just happened? Fifteen minutes ago, his biggest problem was a flu-imitating virus, he had been sleeping peacefully. But then she came in, wanting to ask a question, and how he wished he could've told her no. But he could never deny Kate anything and knew he never would. That's why he had to find her and straighten this out. It was a misunderstanding; he made himself believe that…

"Jack?" Charlie looked puzzled as he walked past his cave, "I thought you had a touch of the tropical cold going around. Shouldn't you be sleeping?"

"Charlie, I can't now, I have to find Kate," he explained, "Have you seen her?"

"Not since this morning when she was talking to Claire, what happened?" he asked, "I mean is there anything I can do to help?"

"No, I just really need to find Kate. We were talking and then she just left," he nervously scanning the caves once again.

"No need to worry, you go to sleep, I'll take a stroll to the beach, if she's not there, she'll be back later," Charlie offered.

"No, she's not coming back," Jack shook his head gloomily.

"Pardon?" Charlie asked again, suddenly becoming serious.

"She took her bag, she said goodbye, she said 'Goodbye Jack,' she's not coming back. That's why I have to find her," Jack explained, walking briskly to the pathways at the edge of the caves.

"Jack, wait up, I'll go with you, there's two paths and two beaches right? It'll save you time incase she moves," Charlie suggested.

"Thanks," Jack replied gratefully, Charlie nodded and they both began to take separate paths, Jack heading to the main beach, when Claire called out for Charlie.

"Charlie, I need your help with Alex, he doesn't want to seem to settle in," she explained.

Charlie looked at Jack, and then to Claire, "Go ahead Charlie," Jack coaxed him, "I'll be fine."

"Fancy seeing you here, Freckles," Sawyer commented as he walked to the off spot down the beach where Kate sat, "Usually you only come twice a week, what do I owe this extra visit too?" He asked approaching her from behind.

"Sawyer," she said sniffing, and whipping tears from her eyes, "Now is definitely not a good time." She turned around slightly.

"What happened now? Did the good Doc kick you out?" he asked snidely.

"Sawyer, please. I'm five and a half months pregnant, I feel like garbage, and I just did something I really didn't want to do. If you have one shred of kindness in you, just leave me alone for now, until I find you and apologize for acting this way," she explained.

Sawyer sighed and wore a smirk, "Suit yourself, Freckles," he replied and walked away.

The day had passed quickly, but that was due to the winter months. It was nearly pitch black out, when Jack found himself stumbling onto the old beach. It was so unlike the caves, instead of everyone working together; to make life easier, everyone on the beach seemed to live independently.

There were several small fires instead of the one big one at the caves that everyone shared. The dwellings were spread at least thirty yards apart from each other unlike the caves where everyone was neighbors.

He walked out to a clearing beside a shelter, and strained his eyes looking for Kate. His eyes scanned the dusky plain of the beach, but the many fires didn't help.

"Well, well, well," he heard a familiar voice murmur, "Looks, like we're going to have a reunion." Jack sighed, annoyed already, "Did you come here to get your little girlfriend back?" Sawyer asked taking a drag of his cigarette, "Or just to make sure she was being taken care of?"

"Where's Kate?" he asked firmly.

Sawyer chuckled, the pointed down the beach, "She's about a mile down on the beach that way," he answered, "Though I'd be careful if I were you, she's in one of those moods today."

Jack huffed, "Thanks," and then started running along the beach. Sure enough, there was Kate, leaning back on her hands in the sand, with a small fire burning beside her. It outlined her in an imaginary crimson color, her stomach drawing all the attention of her profile.

She sat, looking out into the troubled night sky, her eyebrows knitted into an expression that portrayed deep thought. He fathomed what she could always be thinking about so intensively, but a better question would be, 'What could she not be thinking about?'

She had, had a happy childhood she expressed to him one day, up until the age of thirteen, when her life had turned to crime. She had begun to steal things, at first unimportant items such as hairclips and makeup, but she quickly progressed to jewelry and money.

She'd even felt comfortable enough to tell him of a time when she hotwired a car at the age of fifteen and went joyriding all night long, only to be caught. She had told him many things she'd done wrong, but never told him about the act, that forced the Marshall to travel halfway around the world to get her. He probably will never know.

Just staring at her right now, there's so much he can tell, from experience, from spending the last three months almost inseparable from her. From the way she's leaning he can tell she's tried, the walk from the caves must have burnt her batteries out, and every now and again she placed a hand to her stomach. Jack knows that she's hungry, that the babies demanding food, but the way she gazes at her stomach tells him that she's eaten one banana too many, and the baby has revolted by making her empty out her stomach contents.

He walked over to her, cautiously pacing in the sand as if every grain he kicks sets of a firework, he makes it to where she is and he takes a seat in the sand beside her. Although her eyes never leave the faint stars that lay scattered in the sky like a million lives weakly calling for help, or in this case, forty-eight lives, in four months forty-nine, she knows he's there.

Her eyes never move to make contact, and her head stays looking ahead. A few moments of silence pass, and Jack wonders who will be the first one to speak.

"You shouldn't have come here, Jack," Kate whispered quietly, answering his minds question, one of them at least.

"Kate, I want to know where we are." Jack asked touching her arm slightly. Her eyes shot down at his hand, then at him.

"I don't know," Kate, answered shaking her head, "All I can tell you is that wherever we are, we aren't together."

Jack's heart stopped, "Kate, why?" he asked, between staggered breaths.

"I told you Jack, because it would get tired. It's better to stop now before we get hurt more," she explained desolately.

"Kate, I can't let you go, I love…"

"If you love me Jack," she turned to face him, "Then you'll let me go."

He sighed, "You'll be staying on the beach?" His mind was screaming for him to be waking up. This was a nightmare, like the ones Kate has.

"Yes," she replied quietly, the crackling of the fire, nearly drowning her out.

"Kate, what about the baby?" he asked turning towards her.

"Don't worry Jack, we just broke up, that doesn't mean I'm going to take the baby," explained calmly. Jack just stared at her, the words 'broken up' sinking into his mind. "After we get rescued," she cleared her throat, "I'm waving all my parental rights. If we ever make it back to the real word, she'll be better off with you."

"Kate, this is stupid," he explained angrily, "You want to break up because your afraid of what will happen when, if we do at all, get rescued?"

"I'm just taking the safe route Jack," she expressed solemnly.

"Since when have you ever done that? You run into the jungle at night, get chased by monsters, fall out of trees while you're pregnant," he stopped there.

"That's why she's better off with you," Kate exclaimed.

"Fine, but I'll bring her everyday to your house, or to the jail, or wherever you are, I'm not letting her, not know you at all. I'm not going to pretend I didn't know you," he said.

Kate stared at the sand hard for a few seconds, before she nodded slightly, "If that's all you want, you can go now."

"Kate, if I can't love you, if I can't hold you, and kiss you, and fall asleep happy with you in my arms, can't we at least be one good terms? Can't we go back to being friends?" he asked. All this was happening way to fast for him, last night she was in his arms, asleep. Tonight she was ten miles away.

She looked over at him, his expression portrayed hurt, and her heart broke when she saw his face, "Of course," she replied and stuck out her hand.

Jack shook it, relieved that he wouldn't be totally cut off from Kate. He didn't want to let go of Kate's hand; once he did their relationship would be officially broken. He couldn't do it.

Hesitantly he released his grip from hers and felt, as the cool wind seemed to blow and feeling or presence of Kate off of him.

"Can I come to visit you?" he asked another question, the more questions he asked, the longer he could spend with her.

"Sure," she complied, "Especially to check on the baby."

He nodded silently, she went to say something, but he interrupted her, "I brought you something," he revealed as he grabbed his bag and zipped it open. He took the fruit in his hand and offered it to her.

"A papaya?" She questioned happily, her eyes even seemed to lighten for a moment.

"Yeah, I had a feeling, you wouldn't be able to eat anymore bananas so I stopped off at the fruit trees before I left to look for you," he divulged.

"Thanks," she expressed gratefully, yet still softly. She reached out and took the obscure fruit from his hand.

He stood up and replaced his backpack, "I should go now. I'll see you tomorrow if not, the next day."

She nodded, and watched as he turned to leave. She didn't want him to leave, Lord knew she didn't want him to leave, but this was for the best wasn't it?

Before he had even taken a step he turned back around and leaned down. He kissed his pointer and middle finger and placed it on Kate's abdomen. Smiling weakly he whispered, "Goodnight," and left her on the beach alone.

She remembered that she didn't like being alone. She hated being alone, and most importantly she feared it, but it was what she deserved.

Yeah I know send the emails Dear Shiggity why have you ruined the story blah blah blah, whine whine whine, angry words, angry words, and a life threat sincerely so and so.

Pink Pinker Believe me I had to do it this way, or a major factor in the story that I wanted to write couldn't have been written and then I would've been sad, and what's worse then a sad Shiggity Shwa? OMG my best friend is in love with Boone and I'm like "What is your damage? Have you not seen Jack?" and she's like "He's old," and I'm like "Boone's feminine!" and then we get in a huge fight and my mom comes in and starts saying how Sawyer is the best. Lol it's always one big hectic fight on Wednesday's in my household. Me and my best friend want to write a story on what we would do if we were on the island, i.e. fake drowning in wading water for Boone and Jack to rescue us, and then I would say "OMG I saw the monster!" then Jack would say, "OMG what'd it look like?" and then I would say, "It kinda looked like…YOUR MOMMA!" We have so many more things, but I'd better stop writing your response or everyone else is going to get jealous.

FanOfLOST You're disappointedin me? Usually only my teachers, my parents, my sister, and my friends are disappointed in me, eh I'll add you to the list scribbles FanOfLOST on disappointment list yeah I wrote like a beast last night. I think I'm up to 110 pages now and I still haven't got halfway done: Yep Jack's still got to check on her, next chapter is just 4 small vignettes of there time apart, but I have to say it's one of my favorite chapter because they actually interact with other people (What! Yeah I know). Nah no abduction…yet… I wouldn't throw it past me to do it a couple thousand times. And she'll be staying at the beach…with SAWYER! DON DON DON NA…DON. PS I knew I'd earn that 10 ;)

Rain1657 I don't know, killing Jack or Kate is very compelling (I desperately (like a housewife) want some hate mail). No that'll never happen, because I didn't spend half my life (okay like 4 months) writing a story so I would kill off one of the characters. I don't write FOR Lost, remember? I just write Lost. The key to a good Cliffhanger is to cut it off right in mid-paragraph, so to speak, I don't know I think it's one of my hidden talents (Like shoving your whole fist in your mouth, that's another one lol)

Evermore They'll get back together soon enough.

JasmineHR LMAO Wait until the next chapter you're not the only one who wants to smack Kate. And even an unbalanced 5 ½ month pregnant Kate isn't that dull, I'll admit at some times she's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but she's no garden hose.

CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88 Lol I soooo wanted to say that A word (you know that bad word for butt) but I held myself back ;) Hey she doesn't think she's getting any saner, but she doesn't think she's going crazy, so will chart her somewhere between Locke and Danielle. Creepy Canadian criminals with thirty fake ID's who may or may not be robots (all you Canadian's know what I'm talking about! (they really don't). Hey look at it from Kate's point of view, When they do get rescued she's still going to be prosecuted and she loves Jack so much she doesn't want him to be dragged through that crap with her. But then again he IS a spinal surgeon which in Canada makes over 120,000 a year so I can just imagine how much in America, sheesh. I'd be all, "Pay my bail, ho" but then again he probably wouldn't for me.

Oreata You'll have to join in on the next dance routine (next Chapter) they're already finished this one.
Charlie: Okay so you guys think you got it
Locke: I want to flaunt it
Jack: KATE! WHERE THE HELL IS THAT BACKGROUND WE'RE READY OUT HERE!
Kate: muttering as she drags out a piece of the fuselage painted I…hate…you
Claire: Chaalee! I want to help!
Charlie: Can you break dance Love?
Claire: I'm Australian…
Charlie: So?...
Claire: Of Course I CAN!
Boone: singing You don't have no business in this, here's your paper's baby you are dismissed. Flips around dramatically
Shannon: Smacks him Like this diphole, Sings Can you keep up, baby boy, make me loose my breath, make me noise, make me loose my breath, hit high, make me loose my starts to have an asthma attack
Charlie: Get Piggy of the stage with her Ass-mar
Kate: What stage?
Jack: YOU DIDN'T MAKE A STAGE!
Kate: I'm sorry I was too busy collecting water, and fruit, and fire wood.
Jack: I can't even look at you right now…
Sayid: Maybe you should take a look at Shannon, she's getting kinda purple.
Jack: Call me when she's blue…
THE END!

MusicMonkey88 Pssh try and kill me, I'm Canadian, I don't know if you've heard, but we're either Smooth Criminal's or robots, soo I dare you too shoot me, my robot hugging buddy Ethan eats bullets. They will come together soon enough…

Whirlwind-2005 Kate is going to become the finance minister of the island, She left him by moving her left foot then her right in that strategic pattern until she was no longer by him, I can do this because, like the Tin Man I have no heart. Looking forward to the story, I'll try to review it if this Diablo of a computer will let me.

Bucky Yeah believe me I know what I'm doing… Oh do I ever…

LOSTinFishboy Was that a threat? Need I remind you that I have the dancing/singing cast of Lost, plus metal eating Ethan on my side… But I'm a nice ruler of Lostland, and I do listen to all my reviewers' pleas so all I can say is wait and what you seek shall come to you (wow I went all fortune cookie).

Celtickitty89 FINALLY SOMEONE WHO LIKES THE STORY FOR WHAT IT IS!

I slave and I slave and I slave over a hot computer all day long and do I get any recognition for it? NO! NONE! NADA! RIEN! ZIP! ZERO! NAUGHT! NIX! NIL! ZILTCH! AND WOULD IT KILL YOU TO TELL ME THAT YOU LOVED ME? SHEESH I WANT A DIVORCE! (So far GQSecondAct is the only one!)

Next chapter- You wanna know what's in the next chapter after you were all like mean and crap, pshh why don't you go to your secretary and ask her what the next chapters about! It's four short scenes with Jack and Kate interacting with others about t his situation (it's one of my favorite )

Next Next Chapter- Milking me for info, eh? Alright I'll try to make this one serious Ahem in a dark voice Can a tragic event bring Jack and Kate back together?

Plus tell me which you would rather hear (and see Oreata dance to?)
Charlie's Version of Toxic by Brittany Spears
Shannon's Version of What U Waiting For by Gwen Steffani
Sawyer's Version of Maybe by Emma Bunton
or the Cast's Version of Footloose

(All of those were made for my cartoon but never made it on (And the stories way to depressing for me so humor me and let me do my funny little segments ;) )

So review wouldja because in the words of Weezer, "'Cause everybody wants some love, Shooting from the stars above, And though my heart will break, There's more that I could take, I could never get enough"