Hey hey, so I got up today(very late (I had a hard night of Canadian partying)) and I went and checked my emails and I had 23 review notices from ff! lol I was like 23 OMGit was amazing, so thanks you guys, and for a thank you present I didn't make this chapter a cliffhanger like I wanted…
Pangs of Guilt
Chapter 19
All She Ever Does Is Walk Alone
Alex giggled, his toothless grin as Charlie preformed many different faces and impressions for him. When Alex got tired of that, he would play peek-a-boo with him until he tired of that. When all else failed, he'd resort to singing to him. Claire laughed at some of the expressions Charlie made. They were both so happy, Alex was healthy and they had found each other.
Jack sat across the fire from them, packing up his supplies. He had to go visit Kate today, like he did every other day. It's not like he had to go either, he wanted to. Just to see her, her gray-green eyes, her curly hair, the freckles splashed out over her face, and of course her greatly expanded stomach.
Today was the day Kate officially turned six months pregnant, Jack had to go down and make sure she was in good shape, although half the time he was down there, they talked about other stuff.
He didn't understand Kate, it seemed like she had been forced to break it off with him. Like some thorn in her side caused her to become frightened of anyone loved her back, when she loved them. Jack fathomed that that thorn, was her past.
He sighed and took one last look at Charlie, Claire and Alex, at how happy they were. And we wished with all his heart, he and Kate could be like that once again.
Kate was walking up the path to meet Jack. He was supposed to meet her at the beach, but she had to have a change of scenery, staying in one place to long, was making her antsy. Old habits died hard she guessed.
She wasn't really walking either, more like waddling. The baby had grown quite a bit in the last two weeks, and it gave her a great deal of trouble when traveling. But she guessed it was a good exchange for not as many cravings.
She also quietly thanked God; that the baby had only chose to expand her stomach, so she had only gained a minimal amount of weight. Jack had told her that from the back, she looked exactly the same.
She kept walking the slightly uphill path, sweat soaking her t-shirt, as she panted. She couldn't understand how while still walking slow, she managed to feel like she'd run through a country.
Suddenly her stomach muscles contracted and a sharp pain shot through her abdomen, she gripped her large stomach with one hand and leaned against a tree with the other. She thought maybe it was because she was moving to fast, but then another wave of pain shot through her.
Her mind immediately jumped to the worse, was she in labor? Another streak of pain provided more evidence for that question. She couldn't already be in labor; She was only twenty-four weeks, no babies survived at twenty-four weeks, especially if born on an island.
She crouched against the trees and pleaded to her baby, "Don't come out yet sweetie, you still got some growing to do." She sighed when her answer was another stabbing sting.
She couldn't go to the beach or caves, she was at the half point between them both, each was at least fifteen minutes away. Her baby was going to be born, premature, to a criminal mother in the forest of doom, on some uncharted island.
Once again she'd be alone, and full of guilt. She looked down at her stomach and realized, she would've been fine had she not left Jack. Jack would be here and know what to do. She didn't want to leave him either, she shouldn't have left him…
Jack was walking the path to the beach; he decided that when he got there, he'd try to talk Kate into going back to the caves with him. Even if they weren't a couple, he could keep a better eye on her up there.
Jack rounded a bend lost in his thoughts; she probably wouldn't accept his offer of moving back to the caves, but the last thing he wanted was her giving birth to their child alone.
"Jack!" she called to him, and almost fell back at what he saw, Kate sat against a tree in the middle of the pathway. He dropped his bag and ran over to her.
"Kate?" he questioned, sliding on his knees in the dirt.
"Jack, I think I'm in labor," she grabbed his hand and wound her fingers through his.
Jack was horrified, he knew the chances of a six month old surviving without modern technology was miniscule, "How long have you been having contractions?" he asked placing his hand on the side of her face, trying to get her to relax.
"About five minutes," she explained squeezing his hand.
"Did your water break?" he asked as calmingly as he could. His hands were shaking.
"No," Kate shook her head then another pain struck her. She cried out, and Jack quickly moved from in front of her to beside her, "Jack I was wrong, I'm sorry," she apologized squeezing again, "I didn't want to leave you, but I thought it was for the best, I was wrong Jack," she explained tears threatening to fall from her eyes, "I didn't want this to happen, Jack. But it did and I was alone Jack."
"Kate," he stroked her cheek gently, it always seemed to calm her down, "Don't worry about it, I'm here now," he replied, and then whispered, "I'm here now, I'm not going anywhere." He held her chin and his face was only inches from hers.
"They stopped," she whispered as she reduced the pressure on his hand, but didn't let go.
"Are you sure?" he asked placing a hand on her stomach, the sudden jut of warmth caused the baby to respond and it kicked where Jack's hand lay.
"What was that?" Kate asked, frightened that it was a bad sign.
Jack smiled and grabbed Kate's hand, placing it beside his, "That's our daughter kicking."
"She's okay?" Kate asked smiling.
Jack nodded, "She's fine," he reassured, "They could've been Braxton Hicks," Jack explained, "They're like warm up contractions for three months from now. It's very common at halfway through pregnancies. It's actually good. And since your water didn't break…"
He held her gently by the arm and carefully helped her up, she was a little weak on her feet and leaned into him, "Are you okay?" he asked.
"Yeah," she almost whispered. She looked in his eyes, and he smiled a weak smile for her. "I'm sorry Jack," she apologized again, "For everything. Everything that's happened since that first night on the beach is my fault."
He held her head against his chest, "No it's not, Kate," he told her, while smoothing her hair, "We're in this together."
"Jack," she whispered wrapping her arms around him, "I love you, I always did, I just thought that you'd be better off without me. I know I don't deserve forgiveness for the things I've done to you, or anyone else. But if I help raise our daughter, teaching her not to make the same mistakes as me, that makes it a little better, right?"
"Kate, I love you too," Jack looked her in the eye, "And I understand, why you had to leave, that you're not good at depending on people. But after you left, I couldn't do anything, I didn't want to help, I couldn't sleep. You do change people Kate, and since we've been on this island, from what I've seen, you've made up for all of your mistakes and then some."
"You forgive me that quickly?" she asked surprised.
"I love you that much," he replied smiling, "Besides, there's nothing to forgive you for."
"So where do we go from here?" Kate asked, not knowing what to do.
"I guess we go back to the beach and pick up your stuff to take it back to the caves, and pretend that you never left," he explained, while walking back to pick up his bag. Then walked back, placing an arm around Kate.
There you have it, no cliffhanger ending, but what about next chapter? Checks to see what's in the next chapter CRAP! There's no cliffhanger there either… You're lucky… for now…But I'll have my cliffhanger revenge, oh will I ever…BWA HA HA HA!
MegaWriter There they are back together, you may send all love mail to and I think from now on in every chapter I do say how far along she is, but if I don't I'll tell you the little secret (Each chapter is USUALLY two weeks apart).
Liz Waller Hey I'll update as soon as I can…Thanks for the encouragement!
CrAzYhOrSeGiRl88 I'm always one step ahead of you because I'm the queen of angst! Lol jk but believe me this chapter isn't event hat tragic actually, just wait a little while and you'll get more then enough of tragic…all I'm saying is PEOPLE DIE OKAY! But you didn't hear it from me…
Lostobsessivefreak Thanks for wanting to be part of the dance routine;) Aw you like my drawings I feel so loved! Lol you should check the scarps area, there's extras in that part…
FanOfLOST I know I just had to use Shannon because they've been on the island for like umpteenth months and if she hasn't had an attitude change by then, they should just eat her. Hmm andother tragic event doesn't happen for a few chapters, there's some sad talk and many fluffy moments to come… Oh and if there's one thing I don't know it's sports lol, I totally failed gym because I said the F-shot to my teacher and because I ran around the hurdles (okay I ALMOST failed gym…) so my answer to the super bowl question would be "Who ever you want to win…"
Pink Pinker Lol I think one of Lizzie's comics is in the scrap part on my deviantart account. First she drew Sayid and Danielle's head on her hand and used her hand for the puppets and made them talk to each other (LMAO she gave Danielle a cigarette). And then she made me a comic with most of the cast of Lost little hand puppets and I think she put U2 in it too. And Then someone took Sawyer's bunny book and threw it lol… I don't have Jack's song yet for our musical Lost cartoon (it takes so long to animate it, I've only done the intro and it's 2 minutes and thirty seconds long and it took 3 months). I only have Shannon's, Claire's, Charlie's, and Sawyer's. But to be fair I only have 8 characters from LOST in it because I can't draw them all…
IrethAnwarunya As always you're an awesome reviewer!
MusicMonkey88 What's up with what song? I miss my room the computer we have now is in the basement, Conky was in my room though and there's pictures of Matthew Fox and Sawyer dressed as Emma Bunton everywhere!
Leigh Hmm good guesses but no, sorry but there's a lot of Jack and Alex in the upcoming chapters. PS thanks for the warm fuzzies puts them on the shelf with the others
MizSniz Yeah I just have to put that baby through hell, I mean it's not enough that it's bron to a convict mother on an uncharted island in the middle of nowhere and that it'll probably grow up with…TELEVISION! NOOOOOOOO
Rain1657 Oh just wait for the chapters I juts wrote, Shannon's in them a lot and she's done like a major 180
Freckles -101 Kate's dreams always with Kate's dreams, maybe it was just some of Locke's fruit crap
Locke: I don't give it out like party favors you know…
Anyways People do die, but that's later, and Ethan doesn't exist in this story
Ethan (all teary): What? What…I…
Oh I'm sorry Ethan come here…
Ethan: NO GET AWAY FROM ME (runs crying into the woods)
Locke: Hasn't he died from that gut wound yet?
Whirlwind-2005 Kate will never EVER get together with Sawyer in one of my stories I juts like to fake you guys out is all… Hey what's wrong with my Shannon, she's just nice is all…
Liz Waller I'll try to update tomorrow but I start school again tomorrow with brand spanking new classes so I don't know how much work I'll have…
Next Chapter- Another warm fuzzy lint cotton ball bunny chapter… Some baby talk, some past talk, some baby-sitting, and names are disgusted