Disclaimer: I do not own Newsies, Disney does.
Once upon a time in the lovely land of Tribeca, two young men, Skittery and Mush, took a visit to the local pet shop. They were planning to buy a wittle itty bitty perky puppy guppy wuppy. This is not that story…
"MUSH!"
"What, Skittery? Grash whyja hafta be so annoying all the time? Sheesh! Twit!"
"C'mon I told that fucking pet shop owner down on Duane Street that we would there like, now!"
"hang on a second, I'm blow drying my hair!"
"your hair looks fine! Plus it's a sunny day, your hair will dry NATURALLY when we get downstairs."
"but then it gets all curly and frizzy and afro-ey and it looks like I have pubic hair on my head!"
"well I think it looks sexy when it's curly."
Huff, said mush. "really? Okay, but only today." (huff huff huffy-ness)
"depressed, are we?"
"what? I just wanna dry my hair!" mush whined.
"oh fine but just because you look like a pigeon when you sulk" (A/N 1)
Mush and Skittery rushed rushingly out of the door and rush rush rush-ed to the rushing street where they rushed to the rushingly rushed pet store. (A/N 2) Ring ring ring rang the bell on the pet shop door.
"Velcom, velcome. And you are…"
"Ve… I mean ahem We have an appointment to buy a cutty puppy guppy wuppy pupp-"
"okay mush, you can stop now."
" you are late! And I am afraid to inform you that the puppy guppy zuppy or vatever pet store does not sell puppy guppy zuppy puppies.
"VUT? WHAT? AH! I'M GETTING A SCARY ACCENT! NO PUPPIES?" (tantrum proceeds to be thrown)
"Mush! MUSH! Calm down… so, what DO you sell at this pet story if you don't sell puppies?"
"Ve sell Great Danes."(cue great dane)
"Oooo hey, Skitts, is that a pony!"
"That ees no pony!" scoffed the pet storeowner. "That is a purebred Great Dane…and in prime condition to boot! You boys should consider yourselves very lucky!"
" Wh-what? THAT'S the dog we…" Mush trailed off in shock.
"Excuse me sir, we are NOT buying that monster of a dog…unless he doesn't get any bigger than that. He is full grown, right? I mean you did say you didn't sell puppies."
"oh, yes. He is 2 years oldand ahem ahem fully grown."
"hmmm… what do you say Mush?
" lets buy the pony!"
"very well den, that vill be 34563729867462897347483289264647387(A/N 3) dollars, please. Shall I wrap him for you?"
"yeah! A pretty red ribbon tied in a bow and a box and…"
"no thank you, we'll just be leaving now." Skittery interrupted.
"…a card and flowers under the bow and curly cue ribbons and a sticker,"
"Mush! Take the leash and lets go."
"farevell young sierss!"
"yo, does your accent keep changing? You just sounded like that guy from Anastasia."
"oh my goddess, Dmitri? He is so sexylicious in that movie! If he weren't a cartoon I would…"
"Mush!"
Mush and Skittery walked back to their loft with the pony I mean dog, that they had lovingly named Box. Actually they walked and he sat, so it was more like this: Mush and Skittery dragged their monster of a dog back to their lovely loft which would soon be trashed, never to be the same again. Excuse me. Back to the story…
BACK AT THE LOFT
"skittery! The pony took a dump in the Jacuzzi!"
"fuck! Do you want to clean it?"
"what do you think?"
"I'm not asking you, I'm telling you,"
"eeeew! No! Gross! I refuse! Strike! Strike! Strike! Strike!"
"mush, are you writing 'strike' on the wall again?"
"uhh…no…"
"you're watching Newsies! Again!"
"hehe… I'm just watching Cowboy. He is so sexy when he does that pelvic thrust…c'mon baby! Pelvic it! I mean thrust it! Uh! Oh ya baby!"
"would you like to demonstrate for me?"
"no, I'd just rather watch Christian Bale…"
" hello… I was FLIRTING!"
"oh yeah…uh okay!"
"mush…that was absolutely Balerific! Vun De Bar!" (A/N 4)
"huh? Oh yeah, thanks I know, I am so great at this. I should start a school for pelvic thrusting!"
"I would watch…oh wait, the dog!"
"hey uh Skittery, the pony is in the…NO! MUSH! THE PONY ATE MY TEDDY WEDDY MUSHY BEAR!"
"your teddy bear's name is Mush?"
"sobsobsob my Mushy bear!"
" we'll get you a new one. And you know what? I'll clean up the shit for you."
"wah!wah! I don't want a new…really? You will? Thanks!singing I don't have to clean up the poopy! I don't have to clean up the poopy!"
"what ever…I'll be back in a few. I have to go get some cleaner stuff."
"okay… pony! Come here! I have a brenad new saddle waddle for you! Ride em cowboy! Hey, save a horse, ride a cowboy! Oh man, I really want to ride cowboy…ride him hard."
THREE HOURS LATER
"so Mush, how did things go while I was out getting the cleaning fluid?"
"umm… I think the pony died…I guess I rode him too hard."
" you fucked the dog?"
"no… I put a saddle on it and…wait…it's a DOG?"
"oh god…"
THE END!
A/N 1 Yay! That's from Little Women( the movie… I'm not sure about the book) Christian Bale is in that!
A/N 2 Quite carried away with the word 'rush' there, are we?
A/N 3 haha I had some fun with the number pad
A/N 4 that means 'wonderful' in German.