A/N: Now I know some of you people absolutely hate my fics but this one comes from truth and truth is the thing most people fear.
Hermione lies there on her bed staring blankly at the arched ceiling above her. She silently wonders why life hated her the way it did. She hopes that no one loves her enough to miss her enough to notice if she leaves.
She decides she'd better get up when the light from outside slowly fades submerging her into the dark, null void of the night. She wonders why such talent was wasted on her. She gets up and pulls on a navy blue dress. She tells herself she will go to the ball. She tells herself that she will 'be' happy there with Harry.
She runs down stairs but it isn't Harry who is waiting for her. She always does that. She forgets that Harry is gone and he isn't ever coming back, and she wants to cry. She pushes him from her mind but he always finds his way right back in.
No one can feels her sadness… they all think she has everything to be happy for…when in reality she has nothing. She acts happy, but she wants to be left alone. There is no place in the world where she isn't being insulted anymore. She isn't safe outside, or inside, or even online where people don't know who she is.
She has been standing at the tops of the stairs for what seems to be ages but is merely seconds. Her heart wretches when she sees Draco there and not Harry. She will not cry. Suicide did not bring Harry back and it may never.
She goes to the ball with Draco, and he holds her close. It's not the same. I don't love him, I don't love him, I don't love him she screams at herself internally. Why does he even want to touch me? He was taught I was filthy, his father may be dead and the war may be over but years of discipline doesn't just go away that fast. They threw this dance a month after the war. They said it was a celebration.
People aren't dancing here to celebrate. They're here to forget. They don't want to remember, they don't want to feel, some don't want to live. But they do live. They can't live…they exist. She exists. She goes to get some punch, only because she knows it's spiked. She wants to forget. She wants these memories out of her head; she wants them gone. They won't leave; they won't go away.
She goes back to find Draco and he's with some other girl. Not her. Harry wouldn't do that to me…. She looks up at the sky…the enchantment wore off. It wasn't spelled to look like outside…it was outside. It was outside, and it was raining.
Then she thought, and when that didn't work…she ran. She ran as far away as she could. She ran away from the memories, away from Draco, she passed Harry's grave, she ran past her past. She disappeared. Draco looked for her. He looked and he looked. He looked everywhere, but she was gone. He called for her, but he only used his heart. A great pang of pain hit him hard in that same place. He was overwhelmed and he gave into the darkness that was Hermione.
When he came to, he was somewhere. He was alive, and he was somewhere. There was some one with him. But that was all he knew. Some one was with him. This wasn't the place he had fainted. This wasn't the place at all. It was still night and the rain poured down on him, but he was warm and dry. He sat up, he looked up. He looked at the moon. He knew I was there; but that was all, his question was where? He lay back down because of a wave of overwhelming pain.
He got up when the rain stopped. He looked everywhere, he couldn't find her. Where was she? Where had she gone? Hermione was still running after saving Draco. She ran until she couldn't feel her legs and then ran some more. She didn't know where she was going or why she was going there.
Some time later she found herself lying in the grass. She was there; because of the blade. She wanted that blade to end it but it couldn't. It wasn't enough. She was already dead. Her heart stopped beating when Harry's did. She died with Harry. Draco found her there some time later, but he knew that she was too far-gone. Not physically, but mentally. She needed love, She needed Harry and he was nowhere to be found.