Woo Hoo, it's been sooooooo long since I've update (like 2 months for POG) and there's many a reason for that
Ethan: how do I love thy? Let me count the ways

Well I'm not going to bore you with specific details so I'll put it into laymen terms, school is crashing down on me, and I have three stories in the works as of now, (POG, Just Incase, and the collaboration with Jade) So I have to spend writing time on all of them.

Oh BTW the first part here is a flashback, but I didn't put it into italics because I didn't think it needed to be. Sorry if it confused anyone.

Pangs of Guilt

Chapter 33

Revelations

Kate remembered the family picnic they had every summer, it was her favorite day of the year, who cared about Christmas? Or Halloween? She had Family Picnic Day. It was special because all of her brothers came home from wherever they were. In the early years it was just her brothers, and her parents. But soon they started bringing home girlfriends, then children. And soon most of them didn't notice her anymore, except Liam.

She'd stay up all night excited because he would come home, and tell her various stories about the university life. He always said hello to her first, and goodbye to her last, and sometimes brought her a gift. She didn't care about that, but her big brother was home. Everyone was a family once again.

Then one day when she was eleven, she woke up and heard familiar voices in the downstairs kitchen. Her face lit with a smile and she ran down the stairs so fast she almost lost her footing.

All her brothers we home, sitting around the kitchen table. Her eldest brother Adam sat with his two-year-old daughter on his lap, Davis sat beside him with his ten-month-old son, then Liam, who apparently didn't bring his children, and her youngest brother Corey, who was smoking like a chimney. Her dad sat in front of them, his back faced towards the stairs so he didn't see her coming.

Davis pointed towards her, and her dad stopped speaking abruptly, turning around and looking at her. She smiled and finished the stairs, landing on the checkered kitchen floor.

"Why are you guys all here, its just turning spring, the picnics not until the summer," she explained, and then noticed her niece, "Hi Joy," she waved at the two-year-old who just stared back.

"Maybe I should take Katie out for a horse ride and explain what happened," Liam suggested.

"Her name is Katherine, not Kate or Katie, and she'll find out the way we all found out," Her father sternly said.

Kate arched an eyebrow as all of her brothers looked at their father. None of them liked him treating her this way, but none of them had the nerve to speak up to him, until now.

"Dad, it'll be easier if we just tell her, I'll do it," Liam suggested.

"Shut up," her father told him abruptly, "Katherine," he turned to her, "You can read can't you?"

"Yeah…"

"Then here," he merely said, shoving a piece of paper into her hands.

She remembered it so clearly, the little birds and flowers that the top, with writing that said 'From the desk of Mrs. Norah Austin'. On the powder pink paper, her mother's neat hand writing scribbled a message. She remembered it word for word, letter for letter.

My Beloved Children,

All of you know, how much I love you, you're all unique and beautiful in your own way, and I have had for most of you, the opportunity to watch you flourish in society. But I'm afraid with the time that has passed, I've grown tired of what waits for me at that house, not any of you, but your father. I've tried to stay with him, on behalf of your part, but I've lost that will.

I'm sorry if I have disappointed you in anyway, but I know if you were in my position, you would take the same path I chose. I want you all to know, that I consider you my finest accomplishments and I know you will make me proud, my gifts from God.

I hope we meet again sometime, and I apologize for not being there in the future, I'm sorry Adam, Davis, Liam, Corey, and my precious Kate.

With love, hugs, and kisses, Mom.

Her mouth hung open, and tears welled in her eyes. Her mom had abandoned them? Who would help her with homework? Who would make pies with her? Who would teach her about boys, and make up and the prom? Who would call her Kate? Her mom was the only one to call her Kate.

Tears slide down her face, as she stood barefoot in the kitchen, the floor chilled her. Liam rose from his seat and wrapped his arms around her, hugging her like she needed to be.

"It'll be okay Katie," he promised.

"Don't fill her head with dumb ideas," her father exclaimed furiously, "She doesn't need fake promises, she'll get through it the way we all do."

"We all have families already, Katie's the only one still here," Liam explained, "And it's not a fake promise."

"So you're going to take care of her?" Her dad scoffed, "Every time she bangs a knee, big brother Liam will be there?" he asked.

Liam let go of her and turned to their dad, "I've always been there for her, because no one else was. Poor Katie's all alone in…"

"Her name," her father grumbled standing up to meet Liam, "Is Katherine."

"My name," She yelled, "Is Kate."

Everyone looked at her in awe; she'd never raised her voice before, not to anyone, not for anything.

"Don't you raise your voice to me," her dad warned, "And your name is Katherine."

"My name," she said firmly, "Is Kate."

Her dad walked around Liam and stood before Kate, his body leaving her in the darkness of his shadow, "Your name, is what I named you, which is Katherine," he told her strictly.

"My name is what my mother named me," She responded back, "Which is Kate."

Her father moved to hit her and Kate didn't flinch, she stood her ground, it happened so fast that it took a few seconds for her cheek to hurt.

He turned to leave the room and Kate yelled, "My name's still Kate."

He slowly turned around and marched back to her, hand lifted to hit her again, but Liam stood in front of her. That's how it had been since.

Kate looked down at her daughter who'd been staring at her, "Sorry," Kate apologized, "Mommy's mind wandered, thinking about stuff that doesn't matter now."

After feeding Maverick, Kate decided to spend a few more minutes on the beach; she sat with her feet dug underneath the sand, grinding the grains between her toes. As Maverick lay on her stomach next to her, sleeping on the blanket.

She heard footsteps approach from behind her, and felt as Jack flopped in the sand beside her. He was literally covered in dirt; his face stained a darker color from mud, which shone, because he was sweating.

"She okay?" Jack questioned panting as he wiped his forehead with the back of his hand.

Kate smiled, "She's fine," Kate assured, and turned to meet Jack's eyes, "So is this the new island fashion?"

"We had a pretty bad boar hunt," he explained, "That's why I came here, I'm filthy so I didn't kiss you."

"You didn't kiss me because of dirt?" Kate asked skeptically.

"Yeah, you're nice and clean and," he was interrupted by Kate who placed one hand on either side of his face and pulled him to her. Jack hesitantly wrapped an arm around her back, holding her to him, she wrapped her arms around his neck, not wanting to let go. After they broke the kiss, she placed her head in the crook of his neck, and remained hugging him.

"That was a pretty extravagant hello kiss," Jack noted, "Anything you want to tell me?" His hands still held her to him.

"Yeah," Kate whispered into his ear, "I love you so much."

Jack chuckled and kissed her cheek, "I love you so much, too."

Kate sighed and settled into him tighter, Jack laughed, "I'm afraid you have to let go of me sometime."

Kate moaned, "Can't I just stay here forever?" she asked.

"Yeah, but I have to get cleaned up, and believe me I wouldn't mind if you stayed, it's just the last time," Jack moved and looked over Kate's shoulder and Maverick peacefully sleeping, "She happened."

"But she's so perfect," Kate commented, finally letting go of him and settling back against him, her back to his chest.

"I know she is," Jack said as he wrapped his arms around her shoulders and rested his chin on one, "but we should wait a little before having more kids," Jack added.

"So you want to have more kids?" Kate asked smiling.

Jack smiled back, "Of course I do, but we should let Maverick settle in first."

"So what?" Kate asked, "Wait a week or two?" she posed jokingly.

"Sounds good to me," Jack answered back.

Kate sighed and kissed him once more, "Alright, I'll let you get on with what you have to do," Kate explained, "Even thought not staying will break my heart," She added collecting the stuff she'd brought, and holding Maverick gently to her chest as she dozed.

"My heart bleeds for you," Jack yelled to her as she began to cross the beach.

Kate walked calmly onto the beach, she held the now one month old Maverick to her chest. She was sleeping gently, and Kate was glad for that, seemed she woke up every hour crying for no apparent reason. Kate sighed and kissed the back of her head.

Kate looked out into the horizon, expecting a boat to be there once again, but shook her head, amazed at herself. If a boat hadn't come when they first crashed, why would one come now when they'd been here a year later?

"Freckles," a voice called her from down the shore line, "you lost weight," he stated still yards away. She turned to him, giving him her unimpressed look and he chuckled, "Now I know why you stopped coming by," he explained as he reached her, and looked down at the bundle in her arms, "so who's this?"

Kate smiled, "This would be my daughter Maverick," Kate introduced her, while she beamed proudly.

"Maverick like Mel Gibson movie?" Sawyer asked looking back up at Kate.

She sighed angrily, "No Maverick like nonconformist, rebel, and etcetera," she explained.

"When was she born?" Sawyer asked, she couldn't have been that old, she was still tiny.

"About a month ago," Kate confirmed, "She was premature."

"And Jacko's okay with you hauling her, down here?" Sawyer asked skeptically. Kate smiled and he knew his answer, "Then you'd better head back before he comes down here like a torrent wave of destruction."

Kate laughed, "Come up to the caves for dinner, huh. We could stand one day with you."

Sawyer chuckled as she walked away.

Kate sat just outside her and Jack's cave, Maverick had just fallen asleep, curled underneath a plane blanket in the crib the Michael made for her for Christmas. Kate knew she had to use this time wisely, that Maverick wouldn't stay asleep for a long time, and she certainly had other things to do, but she just couldn't look away from her daughter.

"Kate," Claire approached her, not wanting to interrupt, "Are you busy right now?"

"Oh no, I was going to do a couple of things while Maverick was sleeping, but I think I'm just going to relax for a little while, why?" Kate replied turning away from the baby.

"Charlie and I were going to ask you for a big favor, and you don't have to do it if you don't want to, but it'd be a big help if you did," Claire babbled.

Kate laughed, "What is it?"

"Well we were wondering if you and Jack would watch Alex for the evening, it's just been so long since we've gotten any alone time…" she explained.

Kate smiled, "No problem is there anything I should watch for?"

"No nothing at all, he's past his teething, so he's a perfect seven-month old," Claire replied.

"Alright, bring him over whenever you guys want," Kate agreed.

"Thanks so much," Claire exclaimed, "If you and Jack ever want us to watch Maverick, just let us know," she added happily.

"Just do me one more favor," Kate paused, "Be careful with Charlie tonight, the last thing we need is another baby on the island."

"Don't I know it," Claire added, and walked off to get Alex.

Kate sat between the two cribs and sighed, both infants were sleeping soundly so she had a chance to patch up all the torn clothes of the past few months. She opened up the sewing kit, and the very first day on the island came flooding back to her. The day she met Jack and felt something click inside of her.

Attentively she thread the needle and pulled it through the faded material in her blue jeans. They were so much easier then sewing skin, she shuddered remembering the thought.

There was a small noise coming from Maverick's crib, she began to fidget and whine, Kate knew she was getting up and had to stop her before she started to cry and woke Alex up.

Kate dove for the crib but she was too late, Maverick lay fully awake, stressing her vocal cords to the loudest. She picked her baby up and tried to comfort her, meanwhile she looked into Alex's crib and notice his face had contorted into one of irritation.

"Oh Alex, please don't," Kate begged but it's very seldom that seven-month-olds listen.

He began to scream as well, trying to compete with Maverick apparently. Kate looked around frantically hoping that someone would appear to give her a hand, but she remembered most of the survivors were out on a hunt.

She sighed and tried to comfort both of them; she reached into Alex's crib and pulled him into her arms. She could instantly feel that he like Maverick needed to be changed. Kate silently wondered how she was going to do that until her answer appeared.

"You look like you could use some help," Shannon chuckled; she had her thumbs hooked on her blue jean short's belt loop, and looked like she'd come to investigate the noise.

"That would be nice," Kate yelled over the crying, and couldn't help but laugh. Shannon smiled and approached the cave, " If you can take Alex, I can deal with Maverick," Kate explained.

Shannon nodded and took Alex, holding him awkwardly because she was unsure how to, "Just do what I'm doing," Kate explained and placed Mavericks chin on her shoulder and gently rubbed her back.

Shannon followed the instructions and soon the crying had subsided, "How did you know that would work?" She asked.

"You just sort of figure these things out," Kate replied, "If you want to help, I could really use it. Claire asked me to baby-sit while she and Charlie had some down time," she offered an explanation; "They both need to be changed and fed."

"Alright," Shannon agreed, she set her blue eyes on Alex's chubby face and he smiled, "How exactly do you change a baby?"

"Well…" Kate got a blanket and tossed it to Shannon, "You have to open that out, then you take off the diapers, put the pins aside, place the new diaper on and pin it again."

"This isn't going to be nice is it?" Shannon asked, making a face as she lay Alex on his back, he laughed.

"Believe me, Alex is the better of the two in the situation," Kate promised, and did the same with Maverick.

Shannon undid Alex's tiny pants and slid them off, though the task was hard because he didn't want to cooperate. She then undid his diaper, "Oh my God, how can one kid crap so much?" she almost screamed.

Kate laughed, "Just toss it over there; I'll wash them up after I get them back to sleep."

"You have to wash these?" Shannon exclaimed, holding the bundle by two fingers and tossing it quickly away.

"It's not that bad," Kate answered, "We have a special pool for it on the beach away from all the others," She threw Maverick's diaper over as well.

Shannon looked down at Alex, unsure of how exactly to place the cloth for the diaper. Kate saw her and smiled, "Fold it in a square like this," she explained showing hers to Shannon, "Then put it underneath him so his butt is in the middle, then fold them around and pin."

She gently grabbed Alex's leg who let out a happy squeal, then slipped the cloth underneath and followed Kate's instructions. By the time Shannon had finished, Kate had already redressed her baby.

"Is this okay?" Shannon asked skeptically as she held out Alex at arms length.

"That's pretty darn good for your first time," Kate replied, the placed Maverick in the crib for a second while she rifled through some of Alex's supplies. She came out with a water bottle filled with a white liquid and tossed it to Shannon, then tossed her a finger from a rubber glove.

"You need to stretch the rubber over the opening," Kate explained, "Then you need to poke a hole in it, it's the closest thing we have to a bottle, we never did find any."

"Okay, quick question what exactly is in this?" Shannon asked eying the bottle.

"Its coconut milk," Kate enlightened, "Jack says it the closest thing we have to formula."

"Okay, because I thought…"

"No," Kate smiled, "Claire stopped that when he was teething," she added as she picked up Maverick and walked into her cave, "Maverick is four and a half months away from being six months old, which means lucky me, I get to be the dairy section for a little while longer."

Shannon chuckled and stretched the translucent plastic over the quarter-sized hole of the bottle. She wasn't exactly sure how to feed Alex, but as soon as she slid the bottle into his mouth, he had almost gulped down the entire content.

"How are you doing?" Kate called from the cave.

Shannon let out a snort, "He's done," she explained, "He must've been hungry."

"Alright," Kate answered, "Now you have to burp him," her voice bounced off the empty jagged rocks of the cave.

"How exactly do I do that?" Shannon asked, wrenching the bottle from Alex's mouth and placing it on the ground.

"Hold him like you did before to stop the crying, and just pat him on the back, keep doing that, I'm almost done," Kate replied back.

Shannon did as she was instruction, she laughed to herself, it was like Kate was telling her how to disarm a bomb. Kate emerged from the cave patting Maverick gently on the back, "Anything yet?"

"No," Shannon shook her head and as she did her bleached longer length hair mussed over her shoulders. She brought Alex back too look at him, and before she knew what happened, all the bottles contents were spattered across his shirt and pants, dripping towards the ground. "I think I did this wrong," Shannon explained looking past the baby and towards Kate.

She offered a reassuring smile, "It takes some time to get into the habit of things," she enlightened, then grabbed Alex's backpack with her free hand and slew it over her shoulders, "Let's go to the beach."

She dug her hand under the flour thin sand and squirmed as it found a way to shift between her fingers. She looked over at Maverick sleeping on the blanket, she looked so peaceful, for now. Shannon couldn't believe how much time and effort went into raising a kid. She and Sayid would have to have a talk.

She looked over to Kate, who was talking intently to Alex as he scooped up water in his fat chubby fingers. For a kid who just puked all over himself, he sure got over it fast. But then again Shannon couldn't fathom how much Alex could comprehend at such a young age.

"Kate," Shannon queried, "Can I ask you a question?"

Kate retrieved Alex from the water and he was wiggling around like mad, she wrapped him up in the big beach towel and replied, "Besides that one?"

Shannon gave weak smile, Kate noticed and knew it must've been serious, "Sure," she replied with a warm smile.

"How long were you and Jack together before you told us?" she asked truthfully, but only stared at her sandal clad feet in the warm summer sands.

"I guess about three months," Kate replied still drying off Alex, acting like the question didn't faze her, because it honestly didn't.

"How long were you to together before you had sex?" Shannon asked again.

Kate was a little taken back with this question but opted to answer, "Hmmm," she thought, "About three hours I guess."

Shannon laughed, "Are you serious?" she questioned not believing this fact.

"Is it that surprising?" Kate asked as she pinned Alex's diaper, she glanced over at Maverick, and glanced back at Shannon when she saw there was nothing wrong.

"Are you kidding you're like prom king and queen of the island, I can't picture you doing that," Shannon replied.

"Well we did," Kate answered, "And if you want proof she sleeping on that blanket right over there."

"Oh my God, you're kidding!" Shannon gasped.

Kate made a pensive smile and shook her head, "Nope."

"So all of this was one big accident?" Shannon inquired.

"Since the moment the plane went down," Kate responded, "But I have to say this is the nicest accident that's ever happened to me."

Shannon smiled weakly then turned her attention back to her feet, after several moments of silence, she finally opened her mouth and said the words she'd wanted to say to anyone for the past month and a half, "Sayid and I are going out," she mumbled.

Kate pulled Alex to her chest and rocked him for a few seconds before responding, "Is it serious?"

"Yeah," Shannon replied pulling her uncovered legs to her chest, "We've already been close, but we both want to be closer," Shannon divulged.

Kate set Alex down on a parallel beach blanket beside Maverick and checked the time, "Have you?"

"No," Shannon interrupted shaking her head, then laughed, "though there's been a few times when we would've liked to…"

"Well," Kate started, "I know this sounds hypocritical, but don't do anything without the proper protection."

Shannon laughed, "That's actually why I came to see you today," she revealed.

Kate smiled, "Alright, help me get these two back to the caves, and I'll give you what I can snag from Jack without him noticing."

"Jack," Kate shook her head, "The whole meaning of favor is doing something for someone else, voluntarily," She added stressing voluntarily as she sat down on the airplane blanket and looked back at Jack angrily.

Jack put up his hands in a surrendering fashion, "I honestly didn't ask them to baby-sit her, they volunteered, besides it's only for four hours, that's the most she'll sleep anyways," he explained sitting besides her.

"Jack, she's two months old today, we should be with her," Kate debated, "She's only going to be two months old once."

"I know Kate, but then again she's only going to be two months and one day old once, and two months and two days old once," Jack rebutted, "You have to let her go for just a little while, which is hard to do especially on an island."

Kate sighed, she knew Jack was right, and here she was yelling at him, "You're right," she muttered, "you're always right."

"Not always, just most of the time," he corrected.

"Well, what do you want to do?" Kate asked innocently.

"Well one thing does come to mind," he divulged as he leaned in close and started to kiss Kate's uncovered shoulder.

She wrapped her arms around his neck, "Don't you remember what happened last time?" she reminded, "I just keep saying that the last thing we need is.."

"Another baby," Jack answered and reached over and pulled a small foiled package from the medical kit, "That's why we have this," he smiled.

"Yeah where was that eleven months ago?" Kate asked, but Jack didn't answer her, he just covered her mouth with his.

As the kiss quickly progressed, Kate's mind flashbacked to the night on the beach, when they hadn't thought of the repercussions, but her mind quickly told her to forget it. They were fine now and nothing was going to go wrong. Not go wrong she corrected herself no other pleasant accidents were going to happen.

She smiled and pulled Jack's lips back to hers, from where he's been laying kisses along her shoulders. She noticed that his shirt was already off and silently pondered when that happened, but she was pulled out of her thoughts by the warmth of Jack's hands coursing up her stomach.

I'm sorry but I'm not going to answer reviews this time around, because I have a special plan set out for this story. I'm going to put all I have written of POG up (about 4 or 5 LONG chapters) and then I'm going to start on the sequel, which will be adorable. Because of all the little island babies. But I have to say the end of POG is not my favorite writing at all. It's rather jumpy (each separation is about a month) so I'll agree with you when you say it sucks.
Ethan: I heart babies

Yeah we know. But you guys will have to bear with me. With three stories going, it's going to be awful hard. So I want you to tell me which one you want to read the most so I can get working on it.
You're choices are POG the sequel (the name I haven't thought of yet)
Ethan: How about spasms of shame, or prickles of remorse?

Or Just incase
Or The Stand story. I have no idea what to call it yet either.
So yeah vote for which one you want me to make sure I write, and if you have any idea's for story titles, I'd love to hear them. I hope you enjoy the rest of POG and thanks for reading and reviewing!