Second chapter out of five. And believe me this one has a BIG Surprise in it!
Pangs of Guilt
Chapter 34
A Little Stranger
Jack's eyes shot open, and he quickly turned his head to the bamboo style crib where Maverick lay screaming profusely. He looked over to Kate who opened her eyes groggily, as she sat up, "I don't know why she's crying," Kate explained, then grabbed Jack's wrist to look at his watch, "I just fed her half an hour ago, usually she stays asleep until three of four hours after."
"I'll take care of her," Jack volunteered, "you should get some sleep," he suggested. He had been away from the camp all day, first collecting fire wood, and then accompanying Locke on a boar hunt.
"I have been feeling a little bit under the weather lately," she replied quietly, not wanting Jack to feel guilty.
"You should've told me," Jack replied as he threw the blanket off himself and walked to the crib, lifting out the fussing three-month-old, "I need to help out more with her anyways, I'm always doing stuff for the camp, instead of for you two," he added as he sat back down.
"By doing stuff for the camp you are doing stuff for us," Kate replied laying her head back down to the pillow, but shifted to her side so she could look at Jack.
He had Maverick's head leaned against his shoulder and he was gently rubbing her back, "Maybe she needs to burp?" Jack questioned. He moved his wailing daughter so she was eye-level and she suddenly stopped crying. Her green eyes opened largely and stared at Jack.
"I think she missed you," Kate smiled as she watched the expression on Maverick's face.
Jack smiled at Kate and turned his attention back towards Maverick, "Hi Mavey," he greeted softly. Immediately the surprised expression disappeared and a smile broke.
Kate sat up quickly, "Jack," she paused, "She smiled."
Jack chuckled, "She's still smiling," he enlightened.
Kate encircled her arms around his waist from the back and laid her head on his shoulder, "She's so beautiful," Kate whispered still looking at her beaming daughter.
"She gets that from her mother," Jack explained kissing Kate's temple. Then once again turned back, "What are you smiling about Mavey?" he asked and she let out a small sound, then moved her hands out reaching for Jack. He smiled and moved her to the opposite shoulder as Kate and she cooed for a few moments.
"Jack, she's asleep," Kate told, she leaned over and gently placed a kiss on Maverick's head.
Jack got up and gently placed his daughter in the crib, gently covering her with a light blanket. He walked back over and took his spot beside Kate again. She leaned her head on his chest and closed her eyes.
"Mavey fell asleep fast," he commented while playing with Kate's hair.
"You have that affect on people," Kate responded before drifting into sleep.
"What are you doing Jack?" Charlie asked as he came to put more wood on the fire.
Jack sat with his back against the log with his daughter between his legs, "I took the day off to spend it with Mavey," he explained, "Kate's been pretty sick for the last month, I think she's been over worked because I haven't been helping out as much as I could."
"I remember when Alex was four-moths-old," Charlie commented and Jack smiled, "It seems like we've been here forever," he added.
"Just about a year and a half," Jack corrected, "Alex's birthday is coming up soon, isn't?"
"Yeah," Charlie smiled, "It's this Friday. I can't believe the little guy will be one, he just started walking and now Claire struggles to keep up with him."
Jack chuckled, "Hopefully Mavey's not that set on getting away from us," he explained as he looked down at his daughter who was on her back playing with her feet and giggling.
"Charlie!" Claire yelled as she came around the corner with Alex fussing in her arms.
"Something wrong, Love?" Charlie asked as he approached her.
"Yes, he's not being a very good boy today, he refuses to eat, or do down for his nap, and he threw all his baby toys around the cave," Claire explained angrily.
"Well take him back to the cave and I'll be there in a sec to have a man to man chat with him," Charlie enlightened.
Claire sighed and turned around to make her way back to the cave, but Alex moved one of his arms around her neck and pleaded, "Dada."
Claire stopped dead in her tracks, as did Charlie, he and Claire turned around slowly and looked at each other, "Did he just say what I think he said?" Charlie asked.
"I think so," Claire replied stunned.
"Dada!" Alex exclaimed again reaching his arm out for Charlie.
Charlie ran over to Claire and lifted him out of her arms, "That's right!" he praised holding a giggling Alex above his head, "I am your dada!" Claire laughed happily and hugged Charlie.
Jack looked over from his spot by the fire and chuckled happily, but turned back to Maverick when he felt the grip of a tiny hand on his thumb. He looked down at her and she smiled, "What do you say we try to feed you some mashed banana," he asked lifting her up as he stood; she let out a tiny giggle. "What's so funny about that? Banana?" he questioned and she giggled again.
Kate sat on a smooth rock at the top of one of the waterfalls Locke and Boone had discovered on one of their expeditions. She thought the comforting sound of the trickling river water would relax her. But she consciously knew that just listening to water wasn't going to make all her problems disappear.
She was having the worst of luck lately, though she should consider herself blessed, she thought the polar opposite. She chanced a look down at her watch, she should probably get back soon, Maverick would be getting hungry and that was one thing that Jack couldn't take care of.
A low rumble was heard overhead and as soon as Kate looked up, it seemed as if a blanket of water continuously covered everything. This was enough to allow that first captive tear which had been waiting in Kate's eye to slide down her face unnoticed in the fury of the rain water.
She desolately got off the rock and began the wet, muddy trek back to the caves, her brain not liking what was going to happen after she got back there. She'd have to talk to Jack, he'd know something was wrong, and she knew he wouldn't be impressed with the answer.
Jack sighed, Maverick managed to get mashed banana everywhere except in her mouth. She now sat in her crib crying, he knew she was hungry, but there was nothing he could do about it. She refused to eat anything he attempted to feed her.
He knew she missed Kate, but he didn't know where she went, and he knew she'd be back soon because of the rainstorm happening. An idea struck him and he leaned over to his backpack and unzipped a compartment and pulled out a folded piece of white paper.
He brought it over to Maverick's crib and opened it up showing her the contents and she immediately stopped crying and reached for the worn paper. He smiled glad that Maverick had recognized her mother in the picture, even though it was taken several years earlier and was a mug shot. But that didn't matter to her.
Kate stumbled into the cave to find pulverized banana covering mostly everything, including parts of Jack. Despite her emotions Kate gave a small smile, "I see the banana's staged a comeback," she asked and Maverick giggled.
Kate looked at her daughter, and then at Jack, "What was that for?"
"Seems that the word," Jack paused, "Banana," then paused so she could hear Mavericks tiny giggle, "Strikes a funny bone in our daughter." He explained then looked over at Kate. "What's the matter?" he asked as he got up from he placed the paper down and walked up to her.
"Nothing, I just got caught in the rain," she explained tucking a strand of wet stringy hair behind her ear.
Jack brought his thumb and skimmed it over her cheek gently, "You were crying," he enlightened sadly, "I can tell, your cheeks are puffy."
Kate sighed, "Let me change my clothes," she said softly though it sounded more like a plead, "Then we can talk."
Jack nodded and busied himself by placing the picture back in his backpack, then by cleaning up some of the thrown bananas. Kate walked over to him while putting her wet hair up in a bun, then took a seat beside him.
"I have something to tell you, and you're not going to like it," Kate divulged while keeping her eyes on the cave floor.
"What do you mean, 'I won't like it?'" Jack asked.
"You're going to go into doctor mode," Kate explained. Jack nodded he understood this, after spending a couple of months on the island, Kate had told him that he only went into doctor mode when he needed to save someone, or if something was drastically serious.
Kate cleared her throat and softly spoke, "Remember that night when you got Charlie and Claire to baby-sit?" she asked.
"Yeah," Jack replied hoarsely.
"Well," Kate began, the struggled with her words, not knowing which way to express which greatly needed to be told. Jack gently touched her cheek and she turned to look at him, unshed tears making her eyes reflect the faint glow from the gray overcast skies outside.
She sighed and took one on his hands in both of hers and stared at it a moment. Jack was contemplating speaking when, Kate made the first move. She took his immense hand and placed it on her stomach, which quickly contracted do to the temperature change, "Well I'd like you to meet our souvenir from that night."
Jack didn't know what to say, he looked at his hand on Kate's stomach. How her hand was delicately laid over his, yet it held his hand in place as if already protecting their child.
He looked up into her eyes and they pleaded with him to say something, he quickly shifted his eyes back to her stomach and up to her again and managed to stammer, "How?"
"If you don't know that by now," she mocked as she left him sitting dazed on their bed.
He looked back at her and watched as she picked Maverick out of the crib and felt if she needed to be changed. "Are you sure?" Jack finally spoke.
"Yeah," she sighed, "I've been getting sick regularly, I'm starting to get cravings again and I'm about eight weeks late."
Jack sighed and did the math in his head, "That means Mavey will be eleven months old when you give birth," he explained solemnly.
"If I even carry full term," she added, "I'm not known for good pregnancies Jack," she reminded, as she sat down next to him once again.
"Having two children so close together can put a strain on your health," Jack disclosed, turning and meeting her eyes.
"I'm worried about the health of this baby, and the fact that we'll probably end up ignoring Maverick," Kate explained realizing that Maverick was hungry, "But I've already done that today."
"Don't do that Kate," Jack scolded, "Don't blame yourself, we're in this together," he reminded.
"Jack," Kate's voice cracked, tears had begun to gather in her eyes and she couldn't fight them off, she was drained emotionally, "Jack, do you want this baby?" he looked at her surprised, "Because when I realized I was pregnant, I was actually happy," she let out a small laugh.
"Kate, of course I want this baby," Jack responded, "It's our baby, how could I not want it?"
"I thought that the last thing we needed on the island was another baby," She whispered, "I've been telling everyone to be so careful and here I am the biggest hypocrite in the world."
"Kate, we didn't do anything wrong. We used protection and apparently," Jack looked down at her stomach, "It didn't work."
"So we had an accident," Kate looked down at Maverick, "Another one, I seem to be pretty good with having accidents."
Jack wiped away a tear on her cheek and turned her face so he could kiss her, "But you're accidents are always the best," he replied then added, "Everything is going to be fine. We'll get through this together."
"Do you mean that?" Kate asked as she leaned her head against his shoulder.
"We'll be fine," he replied, "But promise me one thing."
"Anything," She responded, leaning back and getting ready to feed Maverick.
"Promise me that this time, you, under any circumstances, will climb any trees," Jack joked.
"I'll stay as far away as I can," Kate promised.
It was late November and again the weather was playing tricks on the islanders. Instead of being the assumed artic winds at high speeds and the unrelenting monsoons, the sun's unsympathetic rays beat down on the island harder then they had on any summer day.
Jack had an inexhaustible verbal battle with Kate until she finally agreed to stay in the cave for the day. He had told Claire to do the same but somehow Claire and Kate ended up in the same cave, chatting while Alex and Maverick played.
"It must be nice to have Jack around," Claire noted, "He's so protective."
Kate chuckled, "A little too protective for me, I can barely go anywhere, especially with Maverick."
"Yeah, remember when you were pregnant, he wouldn't let you out of his sight," Claire giggled at the memory of Jack persistently following Kate everywhere.
"Yeah," Kate replied quietly and bit her lip as she looked outside into the glare of the overpowering sun's rays. She could see almost invisible lines of heat dancing back and fourth in the humid, weak wind.
"Something wrong?" Claire asked, concerned, "You've got that look, like you've done something wrong. I swear you've patented it for Jack."
Kate forced a smile, "No, I just don't like Jack being out there in weather like this," when Claire gave a look the showed she could see through her lie, Kate added, "I mean soon the trees are going to start on fire."
"It's all right if you don't want to tell me, we have eternity to waste on this island anyways and I'm sure it will come up sometime between now and then," Claire replied conniving.
"Mama," Alex called to her from where he sat on the cave floor playing with a toy car they'd found, "Baba."
"Yes, right," Claire placed her water bottle down and pulled out one from her backpack, "Here you are darling, do you want to come and get it?"
"No," he shook his head, "Baba!"
She gave Kate a smile and sighed as she walked over to her son, "You know the next words we're teaching you are please and thank you," she handed him his bottle, "Now what do you say."
"Pwease," he replied before shoving it in his mouth.
"It's a start," Claire replied as she sat back down.
"It must be hard keeping him busy at this age, especially since you don't have many toys for him," Kate posed.
"Yeah, but Charlie loves to play with the little guy," Claire added, "So he's always busy. What about Maverick? What's she playing with now?" Claire asked.
Kate leaned back and looked around Claire, at Maverick who was sitting on the ground having an extremely good time playing with something. "That, would be one of Jack's socks," Kate enlightened.
"Are you serious?" Claire laughed and looked back over at Maverick who was kicking the sock with her feet.
"Oh yeah, she loves them, and Jack doesn't seem to mind," Kate replied blankly.
Suddenly Locke and Boone came back into the camp yelling, Kate looked at Claire, "Should we go see what happened?" Claire asked.
"Jack's unconscious," Boone's voice echoed through the cave.
Claire looked at Kate as her eyes got wide, she got stood up and her body became filled with panic, "Can you watch Maverick?" Kate asked. Claire nodded her head, and Kate turned to run out of the cave. But her bare feet slid across the smooth surface of the cave floor and she went down quickly.
"Kate?" Claire asked.
"I'm fine," Kate replied getting up, "I didn't land on my stomach."
"Okay," Claire replied, that had made no sense to her but Kate had just bashed her head of the ground so Claire gave her some clearance. "Kate, stop."
"I have to get to Jack," Kate answered turning to leave the cave.
"Well take this will you," Claire suggested as she handed Kate, Jack's matching sock to the one Maverick was still playing with, "you cut your cheek pretty good."
Kate placed the dulled white sock onto her cheek and rushed out of the cave. She found Locke and Boone helping Jack into one of the adjacent caves but she was pulled aside by Sayid, and Shannon who stood behind him.
"Kate you should return to your cave, Jack will be fine it's just a small case of sunstroke," Sayid explained.
"Sayid, I need to see him," Kate divulged shaking as she held his sock to her scraped cheek. An interesting look passed Shannon's face, but quickly disappeared.
He smiled, knowing that there was more to it than that, "I'll tell you when he wakes, but I know for a fact as do you, that Jack would rather you stay with Maverick right now."
Kate shook her head, "You're right," she breathed heavily, "Just tell me as soon as he wakes up okay?"
Sayid nodded, and Shannon spoke up, "Can I come back to your cave with you and Claire? Even with my tan this sun's getting to me."
Kate managed a smile, "sure." She turned just in time to miss the small smile Sayid and Shannon shared when she walked by and touched his hand. Like she had this situation covered.
Kate took in a shaky breath and walked into the cave closely followed by Shannon. "Hey Claire, it's okay if I join you right?" Shannon asked skeptically.
"Of course," Claire replied and handed Maverick to Kate who took her with both hands letting the blood soaked sock fall to the ground.
"Oh my God, Kate," Shannon exclaimed when she saw the damage.
"What?" Kate asked quietly and was dazed, still focusing on Jack, unaware of the blood flowing freely down her cheek.
Shannon helped Kate to the ground and took a better look at the cut, "It's pretty deep," Shannon offered, "You should have…" she stopped short.
"Jack check it out?" Kate finished the sentence.
Shannon looked over at Claire who shrugged, "I have no clue what's going on with her lately," she divulged.
Shannon grabbed the blood-spattered sock and handed it back to Kate, who shifted Maverick to her other arm, and held it to her cheek again. "Jack's hurt," she muttered.
"Kate its just sunstroke," Shannon enlightened skeptically, "He's not going to die or anything, he'll be awake in like an hour."
"But he's supposed to be the strong one now," Kate replied putting Maverick who had fallen asleep in her crib.
Claire and Shannon exchanged looks, "Why does he have to be the strong one?" Claire asked as she rocked a drowsy Alex.
Kate's stomach turned and suddenly, even though she was in the dank caves, she felt as if she standing in a field with all the heat beating down on her, "I don't feel very good," Kate disclosed weakly, "Can you watch Maverick for a sec," she managed to mumble.
Claire shook her head and Kate ran from the mouth of the cave to the jungle, Sayid went to chase her but Shannon emerged, "Don't she's going to puke," she explained and Sayid shook his head understandingly.
Kate's knees dug into the powdery, clumping, unwatered dirt and the dead leaves that lay on the ground. Now all the memories of the nausea she had to endure came flooding back into her head.
As she gagged up her breakfast her hands gripped hard into the ground as dirt became caked underneath her fingernails. She sighed and looked down at the mess she'd made, two bottles of water, three and a half bananas and pool of blood lay in a pile.
Kate leaned her head back against the tree. That had to be the hardest she'd ever thrown up. Definitely much worse then when she was pregnant with Maverick, which was beginning to seem so simple now.
She was gasping for air, simply throwing up took so much out of her. She felt the intense radiation from the sun above being captured between the jungle ground and the thick knots that the foliage made above.
"Kate?" Shannon called, "Are you okay?"
Kate could hear her sneakers crunching the various twigs and leaves that lay randomly on the ground. She was getting closer, "I'm over here," Kate called.
Shannon heard her call and quickly found her, "Hey, we were getting worried about you," she explained, "Not that you can't take care of yourself or anything, I just meant that sometimes we all need help."
Kate stood up tremblingly, but smiled weakly, "I just need to get back to the caves."
"Yeah," Shannon replied, walking slowly with Kate, "Maybe its sun stroke, or maybe something from blood loss because that cuts still bleeding pretty badly."
"It is?" Kate asked and brought her hand up and touched the cut. She winced and brought her fingers out for her eyes to see them stained crimson with blood, "Just my luck."
"What?" Shannon asked quizzically as they made their way back into the cave area.
Sayid approached them a look of perplexity plastered on his face, "Is everything okay?"
"Yeah," Kate replied quietly, "The heat just got to me, that's all."
"What about your face," Sayid asked. The vivid scarlet that tainted her cheek was not to go unnoticed.
"She just cut her cheek when she fell earlier," Shannon gave him a reassuring smile.
"Alright, if I were you I would take it easy, perhaps drink some water," he suggested.
"We have some in the cave," Kate smiled thankfully, "I'll be fine I just need to sit down." Sayid nodded and watched as she and Shannon once again disappeared into the cave.
Claire handed her the sock Maverick was playing with to clot the blood. Kate sighed and sat down next to her, "Maverick's still sleeping," She stated and Kate shook her head.
"I guess I should fill you guys in," Kate commented out loud.
"You don't have to tell us anything if you don't want to," Claire told her, "We're just here if you need to talk to us."
"I mean if one good thing comes out of all of this happening, for me its friends," Shannon explained.
"Well you're going to know soon anyways, I can only keep it a secret for so long," Kate explained, "I'm pregnant."
Claire and Shannon both froze, and Kate once again felt the uncomfortable silence that as came with after saying that two word sentence. She chose to break it this time, "And just so you think I'm not the world's biggest fraud we actually did use protection this time and it didn't work so…"
"Wow if this keeps up the island will be overrun by little Sheppard babies," Claire joked.
Kate cracked a smile, "We're just really nervous because of everything that went wrong with Maverick, so I'm trying to take it easy, which is why Jack had to be the strong one," she explained.
"He's not angry is he?" Shannon asked bringing her knees to her chest.
"No, though the baby was unexpected, we're both really happy," Kate blushed a little.
"Well I hope you don't mind me saying this, but I'm glad that didn't happen to me," Claire laughed, "I don't think I could handle to children so close together AND Charlie."
"Yeah, I'm glad I changed Sayid's mind about it," Shannon revealed.
"What?" Charlie gasped, "You, and Sayid?"
"Shit," Shannon cursed, "You were so not supposed to hear that," she explained laughing uneasily.
"I won't tell a soul, but, you and Sayid?" Claire asked again, her face scrunching into one of puzzlement.
"What's so hard to believe about that?" Shannon asked putting her hands on her hips defensively.
Kate giggled, "Don't fight in front of the babies," she told.
"What's that supposed to mean?" Claire asked back.
"I think she means we should take it outside," Shannon laughed back.
"But Jack has forbidden anyone with a double X chromosome to leave the caves," Claire chuckled.
"Then why did Boone leave?" Shannon managed to gasp between her hooting laughter.
After a few moments of relentless laughing the girls finally managed to compose themselves. "Where does Jack get the authority to forbid us to do stuff anyways?" Claire asked with a smile.
"He doesn't forbid us, it's just a friendly suggestion," Kate offered an explanation, "He means well."
"Says the woman who's packing Jack Sheppard Jr." Claire giggled.
Kate gave her an unimpressed look, "You'd better watch it because as Jack tells me, my pregnancy hormones are so unbalanced that I could go off on a tangent any moment now and not be held responsible for the consequences."
"Kate," Sayid called down the opening to the cave, "Jack's awake."
"Want me to time how long it takes him to say something about my face?" Kate asked.
"No but I'd take this," Claire handed her the sewing kit, "Ten to one odds says that it needs to be stitched."
"I can't catch a break," Kate sighed and left the cave. She took the small jaunt to the adjoining cave and entered it, not surprised to find Jack sitting up already. She shook her head, "Shouldn't you be resting Dr. Sheppard?" Kate joked.
"I know my limits Kate," he replied snidely, his eyes not coming off the ground yet, he was busy looking for something.
"Apparently you don't, because last time I heard, you went out into the jungle and passed out," She replied sitting next to him.
"Now you can see why-Kate what the hell happened?" He almost screamed at her.
"It's just a little cut," Kate scoffed.
"I wouldn't be surprised if you hit an artery or something," he explained removing the sock too look at her cheek, "How long has it been bleeding?" he asked.
"I fell about a half hour ago," Kate divulged, he sent her a look the mixed panic with concern, "I fell on my side Jack," she added.
"Well you never know with you," he replied. She would've gotten angry but he saved himself by smiling. She just looked at him and gave a suppressed smile. "This needs to be stitched," he disclosed.
Kate handed him an already threaded needle, and he chuckled, "I have to clear up your face first, you've got blood everywhere." He explained as he dipped his sock in a bowl of water that was near by, obviously used to cool Jack down with, "Is this my sock?" he asked shocked.
"Don't worry the other one is blood-soaked too," Kate explained. She saw Jack smile out of the corner of her eye as he began to gently wipe away the dried blood. "I threw up today," she exclaimed.
"Baby's doing, or the heat?" he asked as he placed the sock back into the water ringing out all the absorbed blood, which turned the once clear water a soft pink color.
"A little bit of both," she replied, "But it wasn't nice at all."
"Yeah, throwing up usually isn't nice," he stated.
She gave him a quick glare, "I meant it was horrible, it was probably the worst vomiting experience ever. I was shaking and I almost passed out," Kate added.
"It was probably do to the heat," Jack answered placing his sock in the bowl again and getting ready to sew, "This is going to hurt," he said desolately.
"I'll try to keep my mind off of it," She explained and froze in pain when she felt the tiny needle penetrate her skin for the first time. She took in a deep breath and divulged, "I think it's a boy."
Jack arched an eyebrow somewhat approvingly, "And why do you think that?" he asked as he held her cheek, gently sewing it back together.
"Because I feel the total opposite as I did with Maverick," She informed.
"Where's Mavey anyways?" Jack asked knowing she was okay, but he still wanted to be informed.
"She's with Claire, I didn't want to bring her in here," Kate said as Jack did a double knot on the end of the stitches.
"Why?" he asked cutting the string, with small scissors found in the box.
"Well I didn't know what kind of shape you'd be in," Kate replied, still turned forward, "I didn't want her to see you unconscious"
"She would just think I'm sleeping," Jack replied wiping the bit of blood that had escaped Kate's cut during the stitching of her face.
"Jack, she's not stupid," Kate replied angrily turning to him.
He chuckled, "She's five months old."
"So?" Kate asked.
"So when I left she was playing intently with my left sock, and I'm pretty sure she continued it for sometime," he replied and he leaned in and kissed above her cut.
"So you're feeling better?" Kate asked as Jack leaned back against the wall of the cave.
"Yeah fully recovered, why?" he asked.
Kate stretched out her arms and yawned, "Because I could use a nap," she replied and climbed into his lap.
He chuckled as she lay across him, her head to his chest, "And Maverick will one day attend Harvard University," Kate divulged.
Jack smiled and held her gently around the waist, "One day they both will attend Harvard University," he corrected.