Chapter 3

That Time

The minutes ticked away slowly and painfully, as Zell tried is best to at least pretend to listen to Selphie and Rinoa talking about… god knows what they are talking about. This was Rinoa's idea, she thought it would be best for Zell to get an idea of just how the mind of a woman works first hand by spending a day with her and the oh so and ever more hyper Selphie Tilmit.

It amazed Zell how much he didn't know about Selphie. Back in the days, where he still had his manhood, he had the smallest crush on Selphie. He found her optimistic and sweet attitude attractive, but now… he didn't know what it was but he just didn't get that usual tingle on allure and instead some sort of annoyance replaced it. To him Selphie Tilmit was annoying. Not in a bad way though, just the way in which spending too much time with her could cause his brain to melt. Apparently Rinoa didn't seem to mind her. Maybe because they were so alike or maybe because…

"Argh," Zell clenched his stomach in pain. He felt woozy and feint and sat himself on the closest seat, still clenching his midriff as if it would fall off if he didn't.

Rinoa looked at him worriedly for a moment and then she smiled as if something just clicked in her brain telling her exactly what had happened.

"I think you need to go to the lady's room," she said, still grinning.

"What the hell are you talking about?" Zell managed to say between his 'ughs' of pain. Unfortunately he did not get an answer because Rinoa was now dragging him by the arm to the nearest toilet. He could hear her saying something to Selphie about "not to worry about us, we'll meet you later," right before the toilet door slammed and Rinoa shoved Zell into on of the cubicles, handed him a green packet and left him in there telling him to lock the door.

"What's this for?" Zell asked through the cubicle door, a puzzled look on his face. He felt something strange down below but he was too embarrassed to say anything about it.

"I think it's that time of the month for you Avis," Rinoa said in between giggles. When did that girl ever stop giggling?

"What time of the -? I'M FUCKING BLEEDING!"

"You're lucky nobody else is in here Zell," Rinoa said ignoring Zell's frantic shouts, "you're on your periods silly."

Suddenly Zell remembered the time when Quitis hit him over the head during her 'time of the month' and Selphie poured a glass of water on him during her's.

"W-What am I supposed to do?" He was holding the green package limply in his hand as if it was a skunk.

"Open it and use it," Although Zell couldn't see her Rinoa was shaking her head in dismay and amusement. This was just too much. Girl-Zell wasn't just an extremely realistic illusion; it was reality.

After a few minutes of annoyed mumbling from Zell and suppressed laughter from Rinoa he finally left the cubicle.

"How can you stand this? It's so uncomfortable," Zell asked as they exited the toilets.

"You just have to get use to it I suppose," shrugged Rinoa.

"Being a girl sucks."

This was the third time in two minutes that Zell had to pull his underwear back up because of frequent wedgies thanks to the pad. The day of shopping with Rinoa and Selphie was finally finished and here he was back at the scene of the crime, the training centre. He always came here to release the anger that built up inside of him and today was no exception. However it was slightly difficult to fight bite bugs when you had to undo a wedgy every so often.

"Got a pinecone stuck up your butt Zell?" Said a smarmy voice from behind him. Of course it was no other than Seifer Almasy, come torture him no doubt.

"Bite me Almasy," Zell replied.

"I think the bite bug has done enough of that so I don't have to." Quipped Seifer, that trademark smirk appearing yet again in the corner of his mouth. Zell merely ignored him and continued looking for another monster to wipe off the face of the earth.

"Why are you giving me the cold shoulder Zell? It's not I told anyone about your little secret." Seifer remarked, he was now right beside Zell and his smirk was no longer on his face. Zell did have to admit that Seifer was right; he didn't actually tell anybody about who he really was and he was grateful, although he didn't want to show it.

During Zell's ponderings another bite bug appeared from behind one of the bushes and he got ready to kick the living hell out of it until Seifer lifted up his gunblade and sliced it with such force it died immediately.

"What was that for?" Zell asked. He didn't know why he was so annoyed but he was.

"What do you mean?" Seifer answered a little bit bemused, "I just prevented you from getting another bite bug beating."

"Just because I'm a girl now doesn't mean I need your protection." Zell was seething and he felt a sudden urge to slap Seifer. Slap? You mean punch don't you?

"Well come to think about it you would be slightly weaker now." Uh-oh you shouldn't have said that.

"Hey I'm NOT FUCKING WEAKER! Let's fight and I'll show you."

"I'm not going to fight a gir-you. I'm not going to fight y-"

However before Seifer could finish Zell had already launched himself at him with a full-on martial arts combo making Seifer fall to the floor with surprise. What is Zell on?

"I knew I could still beat you," Zell was standing over Seifer, fists at the ready, smiling.

Seifer couldn't help it. His competitiveness was like a sickness and he never ever lost. He stood up, causing Zell to take a stumbling step back, and picked up his gunblade poised and ready. Zell came forward, arms aflame, striking Seifer in any place possible. The larger blonde, however, just blocked and parried each move with the flat side of his gunblade. It continued like this for half an hour. Block, swipe, punch, parry, kick, block, duck, punch. On and on. Block, swipe, punch, parry, kick, block, duck, punch. Until…

"SHIT," Seifer shouted and dropped his gunblade. Before him lay Zell clutching his side where a large red slash was visible. Zell had failed to parry one of Seifer's moves and here was the result of it. Seifer quickly searched his coat pocket for a potion but came up with nothing. He didn't even have any magic junctioned onto him, how stupid. He knelt down in front of Zell and looked at the wound, it was long but not too deep and Seifer let out a breath that he didn't know that he was holding.

"Come on Zell," Seifer said, lifting him up as gently as he could. There was a little bit of resistance from Zell but it soon settled. "We need to get you to the infirmary."

Zell was loosing a lot of blood and Seifer could feel him going limp in his arms. Luckily the infirmary was not too far away and this new female Zell was and Seifer hitched him up into his arms easily. He smiled and looked down on Zell's face realising how angelic and feminine and attractive he now looked. Then Seifer remembered and shook his head free of those disturbing thoughts. He had to get Zell to the infirmary quick and there was no point standing here in the middle of the training centre marvelling at how pretty female Zell looked. He hitched Zell up in his arms once more to make sure he would be comfortable even in his unconscious state and ran.

Seifer looked up at the clock on the white clean tiles of the infirmary wall. He had been sitting here for over an hour, wringing his hands together for so long they had gone red. Luckily Dr. Kadowaki said it was a minor wound and that she could heal it easily with a few potions and bandages, however during this Seifer would have to leave the room, 'for privacy purposes' she had said.

"What's her name?" Was the first thing Dr. Kadowaki had asked him after he had laid the still unconscious body of Zell on one of the infirmary beds.

"Z-Avis Delavy."

"Zavis Delavy, right?"

"No, no I meant Avis. Avis Delavy."

"Could you spell that please?"

"You're still here?" Dr. Kadowaki asked looking down at Seifer and breaking his train of thought. She was smiling slightly at him; her head cocked somewhat to the side as if she knew something he didn't.

"Um yeah, is h-she okay?" Seifer stood up, brushed the creases out of his trousers and ran a shaky hand through his blonde hair.

"She's perfectly well, just a little weak that's all. Although it is expected."

"What do you mean?"

"Well it's her time of the month, the blood she lost from the cut has added to the blood she lost –um- already."

At first Seifer stared for a few seconds but then… it clicked. It was the time when Fuujin kicked Raijin enough to bruise his bones. The time that every straight man feared. That time. Lucky for Seifer that he hadn't stayed with a girl long enough to experience that time; until now that is. Wait… what?

"You can go see her if you want," said Dr. Kadowaki, interrupting Seifer's musings yet again, "She's awake now."

Seifer nodded, took a few steps to the door, and then stopped. Maybe he shouldn't, maybe he should just leave Zell in peace. He heard what had happened to men who annoyed girls during that time. But Zell wasn't a real girl now, was he? Seifer shook his head to empty his brains of the useless gibberish he found himself thinking of lately and finally, taking a deep breath, decided to open the door.

"GET THE FUCK OUT ALMASY!"

Well how was Seifer supposed to know that Zell was getting dressed?

Well what do you think? It's been a while I know but I've been real…

Zell: lazy

Be quiet you- you- girl.

Zell: humph

Yes I've been lazy but also I've been busy (nods). I'm also in a better mood so um… toodles. Oh yeah and please review because reviews help feed Zell and Seifer who none of you would want to starve now, would you?