Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters.

Chapter 2

Fallen dreams

I never knew how cold it was outside. I'm hanging on a thread and I know it will break at any moment. Everything's just so fake. All the smiles, all the happiness. It's not really there. It's never really there. I wish someone had warned me. Told me how cold it was, held my hand. Guided me through everything that's happening. I can't get to sleep anymore. When I close my eyes, all I see is you. Your haunting me. Following me. But I don't want you to stop. Your face, it's comforting. If I wanted to fly would you give me your wings? Your in my heart. You always will be. Even if I can't see. Even if you can't. You always will be. Just don't steal it away.

"Cruz, he's not angry with you," Monroe told me as she sipped her coffee.

I shook my head, "Did he say that?" I pointed out.

She paused, "No but..."

I interuppted her, "There you go. You don't understand Monroe. You don't know what we've been through. What he's been through. It's all my fault,"

She put her hand on my hand, "What happened is not your fault,"

I pulled away. I don't want to get close to anyone, "I'm sinking Monroe, I'm sinking and I don't know if I can swim to shore,"

We both paused. I had never told anyone exactly what I felt before. A tear fell silently from my left eye. I brushed it away. "How did I end up like this?" I asked.

Her forehead crinkled up and she tilted her head to the side, "What ever your going through Cruz, I'll help you get through it, just tell me why your so upset,"

I let out a long deep breath and closed my eyes. I could feel people staring and I suddenly felt so alone.

"Your not alone," Monroe told me like she read my mind.

A weak smile brushed across my face and I whispered, "Thank you,"

She smiled back at me and I brung my coffee to my lips. The hot liquid poured down my throat and I smiled.

I walked to work the next day. It wasn't raining but it was still cold. Too cold. I walked through the open doors and went to my locker. Ty approached me. And I was wondering why.

"So Sasha say's your looking for a councillor," Ty told me.

My blood turned ice cold and I blinked, "Excuse me," I said.

The whole room could feel the bad vibes a mile away.

Ty went to repeat himself but I put up my hand, "I heard you," I said coldly,

"Anyway, I know this really grea..."

I interuppted him, "I don't know what Monroe has told you but I do not need to see a councillor,"

"Shit, Ty,"

I turned around to find Monroe with her hands to her face, "I'm sorry Cruz, I didn't mean,"

I put up my hand, "I trusted you," I said coldly. A bunch of eyes were on me, "What the hell are you looking at?" I said loudly. They all went back to their usual business.

"Cruz I'm.."

"Yeah whatever," I told her as I walked out of the room. And there I go again. I kept on walking. I walked right out of those doors. I heard voices yell behind me, "Cruz! What are you doing?" But I just ignored them and I kept on walking.

-

I walked all the way to the god damn hospital. I don't know why but I just did.

"What room is Maurice Boscorelli in?" I asked the lady at the counter.

"Sorry but visting times are over," She told me.

I blinked, "What room is Maurice Boscorelli in!" I shouted.

"Room number 189,"

"Thank you," I said softly as I turned around. I walked down the corridor, 176, 178, 180. I turned around the corner, 182, 184, 186 ,188. I turned to my left. There it was 189. I flung the doors open and stormed into his room.

"Okay, I'm here! It wasn't that hard!" I turned around and opened the door and yelled out, "I'm here now! You can leave me alone!" And then I slammed the door.

"Uh...hey," A voice said.

My eyes went wide and I turned around. It was his room but for some reason I never thought he would be in here. I looked at his face and closed my eyes. The same one.

"Hi," I said as I sat down on one of the chairs.

"I was wondering when you'd vist," He said.

"Yeah, me too," I told him.

"So, I'm guessing things at work aren't going that well," He said.

"You could say that," I replied, "So, when are you getting out of here?" I asked.

He shrugged, "Good question. I don't know,"

I nodded and then paused, "Bosco, I'm sorry,"

"Yeah, me too," Was his reply.

I looked at him strangely, "What for?" I asked.

"For everything that happened between us. I blamed you when it wasn't your fault. I treated you like shit when you were...raped, I.."

I interuppted him, "Say it again,"

He looked at me strangely, "Uh, it wasn't your fault. I treated you like..."

"No, the bit about me being...raped," A smile crossed my face, "There, I said it,"

He looked at me strangely, "Are you okay?" He asked.

I shook my head but smiled, " Don't be sorry Bos, it was my fault. If I hadn't of been so stupid..."

"Stupid? Trust me Cruz you aren't stupid. I'm just sorry things didn't work out between us,"

I nodded and then Faith came into the room. She came in with a bunch of flowers and set them on his desk, "Hi baby," She said as she planted a kiss on his lips.

"Hi lamb chops," Bosco replied.

I gulped. This was unbelievable.

Bosco raised an eyebrow, "Oh sorry Cruz did I forget to tell you. Me and Faith are getting married as soon as I get out of here."

I woke up with sweat pouring down my face.

"That was a really bad dream," I said out loud. I walked to my phone and pressed the button.

"One new message," It said out loud. I pressed play.

"Cruz, if you can hear this I am so sorry. I told Ty, I totally betrayed your trust. Please, please, please forgive me," I quickly deleted Monroe off speed dial. My silent way of getting back at people. So that bit wasn't a dream. I must of come back here instead of gone to the hospital. There is no way I am going to the hospital. What if it was true! Lamb chop! Oh my god! I seriously should lay off the coffee. I paced up and down my room. Thinking...

But it doesn't help. It just brings it all back.