Author's Note: Most of these stories I write months before I post...just incase you wanted to know...

I hope you'll think this is funny! As always, it's short but not as short as the next one, but the shorter, the more room to cram in funny!

Mr. Clean

"Petesies, help me with this vaccuum cleaner." Sirius called throughout the common room. Now, usually, when Sirius has a vaccuum cleaner, people run but this was an assginment for Muggle Studies.

"Yes dumplings?" Peter asked, rushing over.

"Peter?"

"Yes?"

"Stop calling me that."

"Okay." An awkward silence followed and then Peter asked what the deal with the vaccuum claner was.

"Sooo...what's the deal with the vaccuum cleaner?"

"I'm glad you asked me that Wormys, this vaccuum is my ticket to an E in Muggle Studies. This counts as 50 of our grade so-"

"50 percent?" Peter interrupted. "What do you have now?"

"A D, for dashingly handsome of course." Sirius flipped his hair back and made a row of girls in the corner swoon and pass out.

"That will make you get an A at the most, you can't get an E." Peter pointed out.

"I can too. I think Mrs. Mundane fancies me." Sirius said cockily.

"Whatever your Majesty."

"Okay," Sirius continued, "The deal was to figure out how it works, which is really a challenge since it won't work here at Hogwarts, so I need you to hold the handle while I shoot random spells at it."

Peter gulped. "RANDOM spells?"

"Yeah, I uh...kinda didn't pay attention in Charms...ever." Sirius said sheepishly.

Peter rummaged in his pockets, pulling out what looked strangely like assorted weapons. Finally, with an "AHA!" he found what he was looking for and unfolded a formal looking peice of paper.

"I don't think so!" Peter said triumphently, waving it in Sirius' s face. "This document states that you cannot preform spells within a 12 yard radius of me, so that means you hold the handle and I throw random spells at it."

Sirius stood tall, on the outside, unnerved but on the inside, he trembled with fear of Peter with a wand pointed at him and his precious vaccuum cleaner throwing random spells. Or perhaps it was the taco salad he had lunch. Either way, he need this grade so he could be accepted into the N.E.W.T. classes. Now, you're probably thinking: 'Hey! Sirius doesn't care about his grades!'...well...you're absolutely right. He's in it for that hott chick, but more importantly, the free sticker.

Sirius gripped the handle and with an attempted smile said, "Ok Wormys, go."

Peter rolled up his sleeves, several times on account of his robes being to big and cleared his throat, which bascially sounded like choking. Sirius winced.

"ABRA SHAZNACK!" Peter bellowed. There was a flash of light and Sirius was gone. The girls in the corner, who had recovered, with a small pop, adorned balck viels and started crying.

"Uh oh." Peter said, rushing over to check it out. "Sirius?"

"You idiot!" came Sirius's voice. Peter jumped.

"Where are you?" Peter peeked down as the vaccuum cleaner bag moved and stretched in the shape of a fist.

"Down here moron! Get me out!"

5 minutes later...

"Well that sucks," James said as he surveyed the situation.

"Of course it sucks James, it's a frickin vaccuum cleaner!" came Sirius's voice.

"Oh hahahahaha! Sirius you'd better shutup if you want out." James said, pulling out his wand.

"AHAAAAWAAAAAHHHH!" came uncontrolable sobs from the girls in black, who now had about 20 candles around a picture of Sirius.

Peter glanced nervously in their direction. "They won't hurt me, will they?"

"They'd better!" yelled Sirius.

"Mehrawroian!" yelled James and with a flick of his wand, the vaccuum cleaner started to life.

RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

"AHHHHH!" yelled James and Peter as the vaccuum cleaner traveled throughout the room at a great speed, sucking up all in it's path. James jumped on the stairs as it tried to get his feet and Peter dove under the table. The vaccuum sought out it's new destination at the girls. It sucked up the picture or Sirius.

"NOOO!" screamed the girls. The biggest one, who was really an 'it' blitzed the vaccuum and sent it flying into the wall with a huge dirt cloud. Sirius came tumbling out of the bag.

"Sirius!" swooned the girl. Sirius looked like he was about to puke...in fact, he proceeded to do so.

"EWWW!" the girls shrieked and ran off.

James and Peter came over to Sirius.

"Hey!" Sirius said, picking something out from the pile of dirt. "My socks!"

Christy appeared. "Oh no you don't! Those are mine!" She snatched her socks away and stormed off. Sirius looked crestfallen.

"Hey Sirius?" James said, surpressing a grin.

"What?"

"You're a dirty dirty boy."

Well opening night for Inherit the Wind was last night so you all should feel special that I found time to update. Wish me luck!

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