Hello there! Da'Ni here with her first KH fanfic
This is actually based on a dream I hade once.
Kind of AU-ish...
Well, before you start reading, I suppose I could warn you about what you'll find in this little gem...

Warning: This fic contains yaoi. Yeah, that's right. Man lovin' man. Boy lovin' boy. You know the stuff. Don't like it, don't read it. That's all. There will be coarse language, of course, as Riku's playing co-main character. And if there are any other future warnings, I'll include them in the correct chapters.

Disclaimer: This will probably be one of the few times you see this, but just to make sure; I do not own anything of Kingdom Hearts, except my copy of the game. Heck, I own barely anything. I'm just a poor author! Leave me alone. :)

Anyways, without further ado, I present to you:

Don't say Goodbye Chapter 1: Separate Paths

"What are you talking about!" The hurt in his aquamarine eyes burned brightly, the first tears forming in their corners as he looked at his companion. His voice trembled with uncertainty, with fear-things he had never felt before. He'd always been the cool, calm, collected one, the brave leader, the courageous warrior. Where was courage now, had it failed him outright when his partner's voice spoke those dreaded words mere moments ago? "This isn't working out..." The boy had said, sounding and looking utterly dejected, but no fear. The fear was his alone. Those simple, barely polysyllabic four words provoking the only weakness he knew of, the fear of being alone.

"This. Us, Riku. It's just not right." The boy replied, his ocean blue eyes falling to the floor, waiting for something, waiting for the silver-haired boy to become enraged. He knew Riku well, hell, they'd been a couple for about three years, and the green-eyed male always got mad when things didn't go quite his way. But, the anger didn't come, the yelling didn't surface. Instead, his companion was crying, face buried in his hands as his body shook with sobs. Oh, why couldn't he have shouted? Why did he have to cry! The Riku he knew never cried, never. Guilt flooded through him, unhindered. He reached a hand out towards the male next to him, placing it on his shoulder in hopes of reassurance. All his hopes faded, however, when his silver-haired partner jerked away and glared at him with furious jade eyes, cheeks dampened with tears.

"How could you, Sora! All this time, you said you loved me. All these years, you led me on. You never cared!" Riku accused, his voice breaking more with every word. The raging guilt that had been building up within the younger male doubled repetitively. He'd guessed that his boy - wait - exboyfriend would become angry and pitch a fit. He hadn't expected the water works and accusations based on fright. He had never wanted to hurt Riku. Sora really did care for him, just not in the same way anymore. He'd loved the platinum haired youth at one point in his life, but along the way, that love changed into something more... brotherly.

"I did care, Riku. I still do and I always will. I never led you on. I never lied to you. I did love you, but some things aren't meant to last. I can't continue with this relationship knowing that what I feel for you isn't love anymore. I'm sorry, Riku. I know I'm horrible and you probably never want to see me again. I'll do you a favor and leave now. But know that if you ever need me, ever, I'll always be there. I'll be staying with Squall if you need to find me." With that, Sora stood up and crossed the living room to the door. He needed to get out of there before he gave into Riku. Turning his boyfriend of three years away had been hard enough, seeing him cry was like a million knives being plunged into his chest. Ever since they were little kids, Sora had always wanted to make his jade-eyed best friend proud of him, to make him happy. Even before the two had fallen head-over-heels in love with each other, the younger male had never been able to tell Riku 'no'. That had never changed, despite how Sora's feelings for his friend had roller-coastered. If he were to stay with Riku while he was in that state, there was no telling what he might do.

Back inside the house, it took the older male a while to process what his now exboyfriend had said. Squall? Who the hell is th-OH Crap! Leon! Since when does Leon let anyone call him by his first name? Could there have been something between the two? Is there still? Riku bolted from the couch and stormed towards the door, but that was as far as he made it. As his fingertips brushed the doorknob, a wave of overwhelming sadness crashed into him. Sora had left, Sora was gone, he'd closed the door. While the action itself may have been simple enough, it spoke a million words to Riku. When he'd left their house, when he'd shut that front door, he'd shown that he'd meant what he'd said. There would be no more nights when Riku would come home from work and be greeted by his cheery partner. There would be no more weekends of old movies, pizza, popcorn, and snuggling. There would never be another morning when he would wake up to Sora's smiling face. It was really over and that's what scared Riku the most. He cried his heart out that night, laying in a crumpled heap by the door. He cried out every fear he'd ever suppressed, he cried for every time he'd held back tears, and, most of all, he cried for Sora.

x.x.x

The chilly evening breezes drifted around the cinnamon-haired youth, pulling him into a chilly embrace. He should have thought things through more thoroughly before approaching Riku. At least he'd set up an arrangement with Squall, there was no way he could have stayed in that house, there were too many memories painted on the walls for him to bear. Plus, Riku would be there. Sora shivered and wrapped his arms around himself in hopes of warding away the cold. Lucky enough for him, Squall didn't live that far away. In fact, his house was right around the corner. He could see it as he trudged along the sidewalk. Squall was an odd man. He insisted on being called Leon, part of his surname, and was very introverted. As far as Sora knew, the man only let Cloud and himself call him by his first name. Cloud because he was Squall's former boyfriend and Sora because he was Leon's closest friend. When he'd told Squall his plan, he offered to share his home with Sora while he got back on his feet. After all, the two had been dependant, heavily, on one another practically since they were born.

All this thinking had brought him up the four steps to Leon's door, which he rapped his knuckles on. It didn't take long for the door to open. Squall stood in the doorway, bathed in golden light from the house. He was dressed in his typical all-leather ensemble. A loose leather jacket hung around his bare chest, a contrast to the tight leather pants that molded to his every curve. The man quickly ushered Sora inside and closed the door behind him. "Come in, you goof, before you catch your death." He remarked in the process, Sora currently being the only person in his life that he really talked to. "What do you think you're doing out there without a coat, anyway?" He asked, retreating down the hallway, motioning for the youth to follow.

"I didn't get a chance to grab one. I'll have to go back tomorrow though, to get my clothes." He sighed, dreading the fact. He really didn't want to go back there, not after what had happened tonight. Squall shot him a sympathetic glance over his shoulder. Sora didn't look like any harm had befallen him after breaking it off with Riku, at least physically anyways. He had feared that Riku would become violent - it was in his nature.

"Oh, yeah. How did that go anyways?" Squall asked, nervously raking a hand back through his shaggy brown mane, wondering if he should have brought that up or not. Oh well, too late now. While waiting for Sora's response, they reached the room at the end of the hallway. It had been empty up until today. While Sora had been out, he'd set up a decent looking bedroom. If the boy was going to be staying with him, he should at least have a nice place to stay. It was a fairly big room, like most of the rooms in Squall's house, and it was decorated coolly. The black-sheeted bed stood in the corner, next to a lounging chair and night stand. On the opposite wall, Squall had erected an entertainment set as well as a bookshelf.

"Well, better and yet worse than I thought. He didn't get so much mad as he did sad. He was crying, and I have never seen him cry. Ever. Not even when we were kids." Sora grinned when he saw the room and threw his arms around Squall in a friendly hug. "Thanks so much for letting me stay here." The elder returned the hug, ruffling the youths spiky cinnamon hair.

"Hey, it's no problem. You were there for me when I needed you, it's the least I can do." He grinned before playfully bopping Sora on the top of his head. The boy looked up at him, grinning from ear to ear. He returned the smile, his not as nearly as big. "That's what friends are for, right?"

"You betcha!" Sora laughed and punched Squall lightly in the arm. The elder feigned injury, holding his arm and pouting. The youth fell for it. As concern painted itself on his face, Leon tripped him.

"What are you doing down there, Sora?" He asked, innocently enough, a light smile gracing his face. With a look of indignance, Sora stuck his tongue out at his elder. So far, Squall's plan to take his mind off Riku had been working wonderfully. He hated seeing Sora sad, it just didn't fit him.

"Well, in case you don't remember, you tripped me! Meanie!" The both shared a bit of a laugh at this while Leon bent over to help Sora to his feet. The youth took Squall's hand and allowed himself to be pulled up. He didn't even suspect a thing when the brown-haired man let go of his hand halfway through lifting him. Sora landed hard on his tail bone.

"Are you quite fond of the floor? I put up a bed for you, you know." He gestured to the piece of furniture behind him with a slight smirk on his face. "But if you insist, I guess you can stay there." He shrugged his shoulders and made as if to leave, but halted when he felt the boy latch onto his left leg. Arching an eyebrow, Squall looked down at his stowaway. "And what, may I ask, do you think you're doing?" He brought a hand up to his chin and scratched it thoughtfully.

"Preventing you from going anywhere." Sora beamed up at him, his grip around Leon's leg not slackening in the least. Raking his fingers through his shaggy locks, Squall let out a deep rumbling laugh. Confused and curious as to what was so funny, Sora did the only thing he could think of to attract Leon's attention without sacrificing his grip on his new roommates leg.

"Ow! Sora, did you just bite me?" Squall asked, incredulous. The leech that was still clamped onto his leg laughed a bit in response, nodding his head.

"Sure did. Got a problem with it?" He retorted, rather nonchalantly. "As I said before, you aren't going anywhere!" The elder laughed again. Just who was cheering up who was becoming less and less defined.

"I don't think a runt is going to keep me from moving about my house." Leon smiled, emphasizing his point by walking rather normally, even with Sora dragging on the floor behind him. "Lucky for you I have hardwood floors." He commented, still pulling the boy behind him. Sora couldn't help but to laugh. At first it started out as a few well-natured chuckles, but it erupted into something more serious at the way Squall looked while walking. Eventually, it got so severe that Sora could no longer hold onto Leon's leg and ended up spread-eagle on the floor. "Honestly, what is it with you and my floor, boy?" False frustration in his voice as he about-faced, hand on hip when he looked down at his new roommate.

Sora, who was still laughing, found himself unable to reply, his sides aching from laughing so hard and tears in his eyes. He hadn't laughed like this in a while, not since realizing that he had fallen out of love with Riku. It actually felt good, knowing he could spend time with his friend without having a jealous boyfriend breathing down his neck when he returned home. As much as Sora had tried to assure Riku that Squall was only a friend, it never seemed to work. The silver-haired youth always jumped to conclusions whenever he'd brought Leon's name up in a conversation. When the youths laughter finally died away, he tilted his head towards his friend.

"Squall, thanks again. For everything." He said, his voice taking a completely serious edge. Leon closed the distance between them and offered Sora his hand, this time pulling him all the way to his feet, where he ruffled the boys cinnamon hair again.

"You are very welcome, Sora. I am glad that I can help you as you helped me." Indeed, Sora had helped him immensely when he and Cloud separated. Squall had been a complete mess after the breakup, having laid in bed and refuse to address the outside world under any circumstances. He wouldn't even get up to let Sora in when he visited. Not to be deterred, the boy had climbed in through Squall's bedroom window and demanded that he pull himself together. It had taken a lot of coaxing, but he had eventually gotten over it. He probably never would have without Sora's support. Now it was his turn to lend a helping hand to the youth.

"So, um, what's for dinner?" Sora interrupted his musings with a hopeful voice. It was just like him to shift from something so serious, to something so frivolous. He had a knack for doing it too, and nobody ever really noticed until it was too late. Squall chuckled to himself, having picked up on his little trick, but not addressing it.

"I don't know. What do you want?" Leon had a feeling this would end up going nowhere, as neither of them were very good with decision making.

"I don't know. What d'ya got?" The boy quirked an eyebrow, looking up at Squall with an expression of delightful puzzlement.

"I don't know. Why don't you check?" Yep, definitely not going anywhere soon.

"I don't know. Why don't you?" Another one of Sora's little idiosyncrasies; the fondness for repeating questions when he wanted to avoid answering them.

"Because I'm not the one who asked." Squall found himself with the childish urge to stick his tongue out at the boy, perhaps derived from their childish bickering.

"So! I'm not the one cooking!" Sora beat him to it.

"Who said I was cooking anything?" Leon made a face.

"Me! Deal with it!" Sora made one right back.

"What if I don't want to?" Squall blew a raspberry.

"Too bad!" Sora shot him the bird.

"I think you underestimate my capabilities, little boy." Squall flipped him two.

"Bring it, old man!" And with that the two were rolling around on the floor, wrestling like a bunch of children. Anyone that would have seen Squall like that probably would have suffered a heart attack. Anyone that would have seen Sora would have laughed at how red his face was. And if Riku had seen them? Well, he'd have gone berserk. Speaking of Riku...

x.x.x

Having cried all that he was able to cry, the green-eyed boy lifted himself from the floor, which had grown rather cold. He was left feeling strangely empty. Not the emptiness he'd expected, that of losing someone dear, but more of an emotional numbness. He simply didn't feel anymore. It was as if all his tears had been filled with every emotion that had ever been bottled up inside him, and upon letting them go, he had cleaned out all his emotional baggage. It was odd, really. All he was left with were memories. Even going through those, all the feelings that had been attached to them were gone. He wasn't sure which was better. The pain and sorrow after losing his lover or the emptiness that lingered. He felt kind of like a shell. There was nothing inside him anymore. Had he reverted to his most quintessential being?

He slowly walked through the house, taking in every detail that was so tied to his and Sora's past, though none of it seemed to effect him. It just... was. No matter how many memories were burned into the paint, no matter how many emotions had been thrown around the house, they had lost all their meaning to Riku. He was sure Sora was having fun with Squall now, but how did it make him feel? The fact that it didn't perturbed him. He was confused. He needed someone to talk to, but the sad thing was, he didn't have anybody. He'd been so centered around Sora that he never made any friends. He'd created plenty of enemies in people, most significantly, Cloud, but no one had ever been able to get past his self-possessed and cold exterior.

He climbed the stairs to their bedroom and plopped down on the mattress. It was almost as if the bed itself wrapped invisible tendrils of his past around him, forcing him to relive those moments. Those ghosts of memories still did not effect him. Hell, Sora could have been dancing naked in front of him, and he doubted he would even care.

He breathed out a deep sigh as he leaned against the headboard, drawing his knees to his chest and wrapping his arms around them. What was there to do now? It wasn't like he had a life outside of Sora. Chewing on his bottom lip, Riku stared blankly at the wall, his confusion building and intensifying. He said he didn't love me anymore. I didn't think it was possible to fall out of love. Maybe he had mixed up his feelings. Maybe Sora never loved me at all. Maybe it was all just wishful thinking. I thought that he would be, you know, the one. Guess I was wrong again. This oddly reserved state sent him into even wilder thoughts. Reaching far back into his memories to draw out his favorites.

I remember the day when we first met. Surprising that I do, really. That was so long ago. I remember most clearly, his eyes. He had always been a shy kid, and the way those big blue eyes looked up at me from behind his mother's legs, that was burned into my mind forever. I remember that night when I realized I loved him. Laying on the beach in the dying sunlight, he turned to me and asked, 'Riku, do you believe in fate?' I wanted to scream 'Yes! I do. I believe in it with all my heart. I believe it's fate that some day you and I will be together, in each others arms for all eternity!' but I only nodded. I didn't want to confess the nature of my feelings. I feared rejection. But most of all, I remembered the day he confronted me and told me how he felt. There had been no beating around the bush, he just stalked up to me, determination in his lovely blue eyes and declared 'I love you, Riku.' Things were history from that point on. I never thought it would end. Is this our fate, Sora? Is this how things should have turned out? Even after all of that, the emptiness did not ebb away. If possible, it increased.

Absently, Riku lay his hand on Sora's pillow and instantly was flooded with pictures of his former lover's face. He quickly pulled the appendage away, as if he had been burned. Maybe I'm going crazy, but this house is stained with you. I'm coated in you, Sora. No matter how far away I go, no matter how many times I try to clean myself, you'll always be there. Like a scar. No matter how many separate paths we take, you'll always be etched into my skin, into my very soul. He needed fresh air, he decided, grabbing his jacket from the floor. He threw it over his shoulders and slowly descended the stairs. He had no idea where he wanted to go, if anywhere, he just wanted to escape what his life had so recently become.

As he flung open the front door, the chill of night plowed into his skin, like a slap. Winter would be coming soon. He pulled his coat tighter about himself and pressed onwards, his destination a surprise. I've strayed from my path. Sora, when you left me, you let me wander. Maybe you never knew it, but you always were my guide. I don't know where to go without you. If I keep walking, it might lead me back to you. But, would you accept me now that I'm broken? Would you even recognize me? I know I'll never be the same Riku again. I can never be that person again. A startling realization dawned on him as he stalked farther into town. I wonder if this is how Leon felt when he changed his name. This sense of worthlessness, of failure as yourself. Maybe I should change my name too, start over with a clean slate, a new path. I wonder where I'll end up next.

Author's Note: Well, it wasn't too bad, was it? I know it's rather short, but I can never write lengthty first chapters. It's a curse, I tell you! Anyway, please review and let me know what you think! If you don't review, I won't know if you're reading, and thus will most likely not continue this fic.

x. holds up a sign reading 'Please feed the hungry author'

Squall: Ech, Da'Ni, you are pathetic.

Guilty as charged, Squall, dear!

Riku: -incredulous- Sora broke up with me! There's something wrong with this world!

Sora: -points an accusing finger at Da'Ni- She made me!

Shut up, yew! Let the people review!

Squall: As if they will...

x. many bad things happen to Squall for being the sarcastic poo that he is.