Harry Potter and The Deadly Fight
It had been only a week since Harry had returned to the Dursley, when The Order of the Phoenix came to take him away again. Tonks, Lupin, Arthur, and Moody arrived on a humid Saturday night on broomsticks at no. 4 Privet Drive. It was around midnight and Harry couldn't go to sleep, even though he was exhausted, since for the 3rd time this week Dudley was complaining on how his teachers were so cruel and hated him and that that's how he didn't pass the school year. Harry thought it was about time he got held back as Dudley could hardly scrape algebra with a D, yet alone English with a D-. Aunt Petunia sided with Dudley and demanded that he become home schooled. But at the moment she brought up this idea Dudley let a fake wail that he wouldn't have any friends and quickly said that she would never bring that thought up again. Uncle Vernon said he'd force a meeting with the principle, however Harry doubted anything would come out of that.
Lupin and Harry seemed much closer now as of Sirius's death, as it affected both of them tremendously. The Dursleys did not dare go near them since Moody frightened them enough. Tonks packed Harry's items in a snap. Harry however was not told anything until they arrived at The Order. Lupin simply replied that it was too risky to talk about the situation in front of anyone that were not in The Order, even muggles like the Dursleys.
They rode on broomsticks with the same charm used from the last time Harry was saved from the Dursley's. As soon as they arrived at around 3:45 a.m., Harry asked Lupin again why it was so important that he had left the Dursley's in such a hurry and why it was so secretive, but Lupin simply hushed him up and told him to wait till they were safely inside with no worries of eves-dropping. However, at the moment Harry stepped inside the familiar gloomy mansion, Mrs. Weasley rushed towards him and gave him a great big squeezy hug and thanked God that he was all right. Harry still completely clueless and lost, tried yet again to ask the same question he had been trying to ask since they arrived at the Dursley's but was stopped yet again this time by Hermione who had tears of happiness in her eyes and Ron who almost fainted in relief just like everyone else seemed to.
"Can someone please tell me what's going on hear?" Harry asked extremely confused. Everyone fell silent.
"Well?"
"Hermione, Ron, maybe you two ought to tell him," Lupin sighed.
Hermione and Ron exchanged uncomfortable looks, and then nodded. Harry followed them all the way up the magnificent stair case uncertain weather he should be worried or not. When they reached a dusty old room, Ron looked at Hermione than said, "You first."
"Fine," said Hermione, "Um...Harry?"
"Yes!" Harry said with anxiousness, frustration, and suspicion.
"Well," Hermione began, "You see, Dumbledore ordered you here immediately because Voldemort (Ron flinched) has started searching the Muggle world for you. He was last reported in London and were afraid he..." Hermione's words died out as she looked towards the ground, and than with out any warning, flung here arms out and hugged Harry so tightly, that he could hardly breathe.
After Hermione loosened her grip from Harry a bit Harry managed to say, "Do you mean to say that he's in London right now, looking for...me?"
"Yes, Harry."
"We are guessing he thought this is a perfect chance with out Dumbledore watching over you," That had been the first time Ron had spoken.
"But he's wrong," said Hermione, "because Dumbledore will always be looking after you." The there was a long pause before there was a knock on the door. Ron opened the door and they found Lupin standing outside.
"Um...Harry, Dumbledore has come to see you." Harry, whose relationship with Dumbledore was quivery since they last talked, slowly made his way down the staircase and into a large room wear Dumbledore was sitting.
"Good Morning, Harry," Dumbledore said while standing up to greet him, "may you please close the door behind you?" Harry shut the door than turned towards Dumbledore. "Sit down," Dumbledore said as he gestured towards some extremely comfortable armchairs. "Listen Harry, after what happened just a couple weeks ago you may not feel to fond of me at this moment and I understand because it was entirely my fault I had not told you. But Harry, you must stay with The Order until you go to Hogwarts. I will be staying here a lot. Now Harry it is time that I learn from my mistakes, is there anything you wish to tell or ask me?"
"Err...no professor."
"Are you sure Harry?" said Dumbledore eying him with that penetrating look that Harry new only too well.
"Professor, is the Ministry finely taking action?"
"Yes indeed they are Harry. The Aurors are searching everywhere possible to try and catch Voldemort. The Order is too."
"And Peter Pettigrew sir?"
"The Order is looking for him. You see, Fudge will still not believe this and allow him self to face the reality of his misjudgment. He still makes himself believe Pettigrew to be dead." Harry now felt closer to Dumbledore than ever before because of his carrying towards Harry. Harry soon began to realize this after he had cooled down after their long talk last year. But still Harry would not look at Dumbledore straight in the eye. He was still trying to get over the fact that Dumbledore was being perfectly natural again. Dumbledore seemed to sense this and said, "Harry, I know after our long talk last year you must feel awkward to talk to me but, if there is anything you wish to tell me, even something personal such as your feelings, I will listen to every word. I care a lot about you Harry, and I understand you more than you might think I do. I understand that you must be very confused and hurt about Sirius's passing. You might even feel extremely revengeful towards Bellatrix. As you are just beginning your life, having someone their for you is extremely important. Someone like a parent. Especially since you have grown up without one. You can always count on Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, Remus, and of course me to listen and be there for you. Your parents were like my own children to me. You are also. You can look at me as much more than just your headmaster."
Harry was quite astonished to hear this. He looked up at Professor Dumbledore and saw his bright blue eyes staring at him. He felt quite emotional. He didn't understand why. He just felt like being hugged. Tears slowly streamed down his eyes as though he had wanted to cry all his life. Harry lowered his head and stared at his knees, full of pain inside of him. He did not know how to stop his everlasting tears. Dumbledore seemed to understand how Harry was feeling and went to hug him. His hug was tight but loving and seemed to be a strong medicine for Harry. Harry now felt surprisingly better knowing he had someone he could count on...someone who cared. Though his tears kept going. He felt like he was getting rid of all the pain, all the anger, all the frustration that had been building inside him for years. He could admit it did feel awkward hugging Dumbledore, but it somehow felt right.
At that moment there was a knock on the door and Remus came in but stopped in his tracks to find Harry with his tear stained face and Dumbledore looking solemn and sad. "Harry," he said concerned, "are you all right?" Harry nodded in reply not looking at him in the face he did not want Lupin to see him like that.
"Harry is simply a bit depressed and recalling a few painful memories, Remus," said Dumbledore eying Lupin with a mixed look of talk-to-you-about-it-later and understanding towards Harry. This was true because Harry was recalling Sirius's death and how he felt when Sirius asked him to live with him; and those were painful memories. Dumbledore always seemed to have a way of knowing one's thoughts. Harry could not feel more grateful towards Dumbledore at this point, since the last thing he wanted was for Lupin's questioning and sympathy.
Lupin seemed to follow Dumbledore's gaze and said, "Well Molly is just making a bit of tea and wanted to know weather you two will be wanting any."
"No Remus, not now, thank you," said Dumbledore in a casual voice. Lupin turned uncertainly at Harry.
"No thank you," Harry said in barley more than a whisper. Lupin made one final glance at them both and left the room without a word. The tears had stopped a bit, but started from scratch as soon as Lupin left the room.
"Well Harry unless there is anything more you would like to talk about, I suspect Miss Granger and Mr. Weasley is still waiting for you. Harry looked up at Dumbledore and saw a face full of understanding and compassion staring back at him.
When he reached the door, Harry turned towards Dumbledore and said, "Thank you," then left. He wiped his tears on his way up the staircase. He thought they had stopped but it seemed anytime he thought of anything painful, they would start, and as nothing but painful memories were on his mind at the time, there was no way of controlling them. The sun was now rising, but if anything he felt emotionally exhausted which started to make him exhausted physically too. When he reached Ron's room, he knocked still making an effort to dry his tears and stop them. Hermione opened the door and with one look at Harry's tired, pale face with tears streaming down it, she new something was wrong. Harry tried to hide his face but too late.
"Harry," Hermione said sounding extremely concerned and worried, "what's wrong? What happened? Why are you like this?"
Ron was sitting on the bed a look of extreme concern and anxiousness on his face.
"No, no...It's nothing."
"Harry, don't worry you can tell us. We'll understand," Hermione said, her tone filled with sympathy. Harry gave in.
"Well, Dumbledore talked to me a bit. Then...he told me if there was anything I needed, that he, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, and Lupin would always be there. And, then started talking about...well...about...my feelings." Ron put on a look of thorough confusion at these words. Harry had not looked up at them not once but could sense their reactions through the silence in the room. Ron put on a mixed expression of confusion and disterbedness to Hermione. Hermione was now looking very shaken, and like Harry, extremely solemn. She glanced at Ron once and broke the silence.
"Oh Ron, when will you ever understand. Harry has gone through a great ordeal. Dumbledore's concern for him is natural. And Harry has grown up without the feeling of someone older than, him concerned or worried for him. He's grown up without that feeling of love and compassion." Ron however was still looking thoroughly confused.
"Why's Harry all like that then. And how come you can always understand us better than we can even understand ourselves?"
"That's because I'm a girl. And Ron if you'd just use your brain, you'd understand what Harry's going through. Harry is extremely hurt emotionally and needs a bit of love and compassion. He has gone through more we can ever imagine," she lowered her voice now till she was almost at a whisper and said, "Since Sirius's death, Harry has been needing sympathy like Dumbledore's and has been needing to take out his frustration and his pain." Harry couldn't stand anyone mentioning Sirius's name anymore. His tears started all over again and this time, harder. He couldn't help but make little weeping noises. Hermione took one glance at Harry, and went to put arm around his shoulder.
She too started to cry a bit and said, "Oh Harry, I'm so sorry about...you know." Harry couldn't help but feeling very grateful towards Hermione because of how mush she seemed to understand him. Ron still looked very confused but seemed to feel sympathetic and sorry towards Harry. "Harry we will always be here for you," she continued, "you can always count on us if you need anyone to talk to." Harry simply nodded but tears wouldn't stop streaming down his eyes. Hermione noticed this and squeezed him into such a tight hug he could barley breath, but he felt better.
Ron went towards Harry uncertainly and said, "Don't worry mate. You can always count on us."
"Thanks," Harry said trying to swallow his tears, "Let me just go now." Hermione let go of him and nodded but Ron looked at Harry worriedly. "Really, I'm fine," Harry said whipping his tears. "See," he put on a very weak smile and left. He went for his room. It was just the same as last year. He plopped himself spread eagle on the bed and closed his eyes. He removed his glasses. He opened his eyes and gazed at the ceiling.
Then he heard a strangely familiar voice say, "You really are better of without him." It was the faceless portrait.
"Shut up," Harry said.
"Just telling you the truth," said the voice. Harry couldn't take anymore. He put on his glasses, slammed the door and left. He leaned on the door for a minute, when he heard Lupin call his name. Harry turned and saw Lupin at the bottom of the staircase.
Lupin climbed up the stairs. When he reached Harry he said, "Harry, come here. Follow me." He put his arm around Harry's shoulder and they made their way up the stairs. Harry was tiered of people feeling sorry for him although it always seemed to make him feel better. They stopped at a room next to Ron's. Lupin opened the door and said, "Come in Harry, come in." He ushered Harry in. It was a big beautiful room and it looked as if it was perfectly brand new and untouched. The bed and curtains were made of ruby red velvet lined with gold. The bed frame and dresser were both made of rich cherry wood. At the corner of the room was a narrow curved corridor. Lupin led him in that direction. It led to a very small cozy room with nothing but a couch facing the fireplace and a rug in the center. Lupin gestured for Harry to sit down. With a tap of his wand the fireplace burst in flames and there came instant warmth from the crackling flames. Lupin sat down beside Harry. "Harry, Dumbledore told me what happened." He paused. His face looked worn and tired. Then he continued in a sort of strangled tone. "Harry I know Sirius's death has affected you very much." He pause again and looked down to the floor. Harry had never seen him so solemn. Then he new that Sirius's passing must have affected Lupin as much as it affected himself. Sirius and James were Lupin's best friends, and now with both of them gone, it must have pained him terribly. Just as it pained Harry. With Harry's parents both dead Sirius was the closest thing he had like a parent, and now he too was dead. It pained Harry even more that he was the one who led Sirius to his death. Unintentionally of corse, but all the same, he felt guilty and responsible for what happened. And it was not just him who was suffering he thought as he looked into Lupin's face. Lupin seemed to be swallowing tears that did not seem to want to come out. "Harry listen to me," he finally said, "if you ever need anyone to talk to, I'm here for you. I just want you to know that." He looked into Lupin's deep brown eyes and saw a great deal of compassion.
"Thank you," Harry said. He did not know what else to say...to anyone. He looked down at his knees again.
"I want you to think of me as your second godfather. You are just as dear to me as a son would be. Sirius would not want you to be sad and depressed." just like the moment Sirius had gone through the veil in the department of mysteries, it seemed like every word was causing him a great deal of pain. Though he tried to keep his voice steady. As Harry looked into his face he saw that Lupin was trying hard to put on a weak smile. It seemed as though talking about Sirius was too much for Lupin to take at that moment. Harry felt the same way. Harry instantly felt much closer to Lupin now. He was not sure what made him do it but he just sprang his arms around Lupin, and Lupin did too. Lupin was one of his father's best friends but now became Harry's guardian. He did not know what he would do if he lost Lupin too. Lupin and Harry had finally stopped their tight hug and were looking at each other with great sympathy and compassion towards one another. "I don't know what I would do without you now. And Harry, if there is ever a time when you are feeling hurt or lonely, always look into your heart and you will find mine, Sirius's, and of corse your mother and father's love." He drew his hand towards Harry's heart. "Harry I know it must be to painful to live in the same room that you lived in when...when he was still alive, so I would like you to have this one." Harry looked at Lupin with a strangled expression of thanks and understanding, but Lupin understood and gave him a smile and nodded. "Now go wash up and get to bed, you must be exhausted. I will do the same." They gave each other one last hug and Harry went off to move his belongings from his old room and into his new one. Harry felt as though Lupin had just cured his pain completely.