A/N: Heheh. Another random ramble of mine. I tried to make this one slightly funny, though I probably failed miserably. Though, I do think the quality of this one is much better then my last. I guess that's something.

Disclaimer: I do not own the Darren Shan Saga, nor will I ever.

"Hold your breath," He whispered, his face descending, shifting achingly closer to my own. I was abruptly seized by a fit of nervousness that caused something inside me to flutter. What was even more weird - I felt like grinning because of it, but managed to refrain. Now wasn't the time. The situation was a serious one. Too serious really. But there was little I could do to break the intensity of it all, and part of me didn't want to.

Two guys, one sprawled out on the bed, the other pinning him down to said mattress about to intiate the most forbidden of acts. Well, not the most forbidden. The most forbidden would be to go all the way... and that wasn't going to happen, ever! But this was close enough, because I wasn't homosexual. I was just curious and Steve was my best friend. Who better to experiment with me? I could trust him to keep the secret - especially since it would be his secret, as well.

Steve's dark gaze darkened further yet, so that his eyes appeared to be an impossible shade of onyx. My insides all but froze, the fluttering dying as soon as it started. "Darren," He snarled, all gentle pretense dropped. I gazed up at him in horror. He reminded me forcefully of a wild cat that had just tackled and was about to devour it's prey. A leopard! And I was the prey. And there was nowhere I could go with his weight digging into me.

I couldn't run, couldn't yell for my parents. What would I tell them? 'Steve was about to kiss me, and then he got scary'? Pathetic. Plus, fourteen year old boys don't tend to kiss each other, do they? They would totally disown me. "Y - yes?" I stammered. What did I do wrong?

"Your eyes are glazed over, you git. Are you paying attention at all?" Steve demanded. "What's the point of me doing this if you're going to just zone out? You wanted this, right?"

Ah. I slid out of focus for the billionth time that week, then. No wonder he was angry! This was the worst time to do that. "Sorry." I apologized feebly.

Steve sighed heavily, clearly agitated with me. "If you stop being such an airhead, I'll try one last time. Hold your breath," He commanded again, the death-glare he had fixed me with softening slightly.

I nodded, then faultered. "Er...why do I need to hold my breath?" I asked.

"Because your breath stinks, fool!" Steve snorted.

I bristled with indignation at that. My breath did not stink, and I knew that for a fact. I had brushed that morning! "I don't - " I began angrily.

"Darren, before you get into a stupid one-sided argument: I was joking. You're supposed to breathe through your nose, not your mouth, during the kiss. You probably would have held your breath and stopped breathing entirely, wouldn't you? You really are out there. What are you smoking, and can you get me some?" He laughed.

"Oh." I said blankly, brushing aside his taunts. "Alright..." I agreed, grudgingly placing my trust in him.

"Let's get to it, then. I haven't got all day. I do have a life outside your bedroom, you know." Steve said importantly. Oh, yeah! His time would definitely be better spent reading those his horror books. But I didn't bother to contradict him.

Instead, I complied with his previous commands and began breathing through my nose. Steve nodded appreciatively and set all bickering aside. He lowered his face to mine, and his lips brushed gingerly against mine.

It felt like an electric charge had gone through me from where our lips touched. Well, no - not exactly. That would probably be painful. This sensation was much more pleasant. Ah, damn, did I have to be so god damn literal, even when I was being kissed? I tried to focus on the matter at hand, and not on the words running rampant through my mind.

It felt fantastic. All thoughts of whether this was wrong, or abnormal, momentarily fell away. I felt Steve's tongue swipe across my lips, requesting entry; which I gladly permitted.

Steve explored my mouth for a few moments. It felt like we were suspended there for an eternity, just me and him. Nothing else mattered. The outside world - which was, really, the real world - was surreal. It didn't exist here. And then those lips, which had brought about so many unique sensations, disappeared. I opened my eyes, blinking blearily. Confused.

"Wazzup?" I mumbled, dejected. Why did it have to end so swiftly?

Steve was glaring at me again. "I saw you zone out for a minute there, after I kissed you. I told you not to do that." Steve grumbled. He rolled away from me, and off of the bed.

"Hunh?" I said incoherently, sitting up.

Steve smacked the side of my head with his hand, playfully. "Once you learn to focus on me, only me, we might go on to the next lesson." Steve said in that matter-of-fact tone of his. My jaw dropped about a thousand miles.

"Later, Darren." Steve murmured into the silence. He turned, pulled my bedroom door open, and let himself out.

That bastard!

My mom always told me that I had the wandering mind of an author. That I would write great stories one day, the way my mind was always roaming. Always searching for something new and interesting.

As if! My "author's mind", combined with Steve's need to be the center of attention and relentlessly in control - had just condemned me!

I swore furiously.

End

A/N: Review, if you feel it's worth the time. Thanks.