Disclaimer I do not own the Turtles or any other related character. Yes, once again this depressing word must appear. In the words of the Barenaked Ladies: If I had a million dollars...I would buy some Turtles! Well, with only a million, I could only afford maybe half of one. Maybe just a leg...
Since I've been pouring a lot of emotions into part two of the Family Saga, I've been in the mood for something a little more light hearted. So I'm taking the guys back to their teenage years so I can have a few laughs. Hope you enjoy!
The Retreat
Chapter One: Off the Beaten Path
" Have fun, guys! See you in a couple days!"
The Turtles waved at April as she put the gear of her Volkswagen van in reverse.
" Bye April! Thanks for the ride!" Michelangelo called out as the van turned around, then headed back down the dirt road, spewing a cloud of dust behind it. The four Turtles coughed at the mixture of dust and exhaust fumes, then turned to face the forest that loamed behind them.
After the dust had settled, Raphael inhaled the smell of the pine trees and exhaled slowly as he spoke.
" Man, I love bein' in the outdoors!" He rose his eyes to the tops of the trees then to the blue sky above them. "Splinter sure knows how to pick 'em."
"Anything is better than our trip to South America last year." Donatello said as he readjusted the weight of his purple and black backpack. " Remember when we had to sleep in that cave?"
"Yeah, and it was full of bats." Raphael grumbled, then began to laugh. " Mikey was screamin' like a little girl!" Then he and Donatello began to run around in circles, waving their arms above their heads.
" They're in my hair! They're in my hair!" They both shouted in high pitched voices. Michelangelo frowned and crossed his arms.
" Well, whose idea was it to go swimming in the Amazon river, Raph?" He then lowered his own voice and copied Raphael's accent. " ' They ain't no freakin' piranhas in here!'" He then jumped up in the air. " ' Hey! What the hell just bit me!'"
" Okay, guys. That's enough. We need to get going before the sun goes down." Leonardo said as he dropped the black vinyl knapsack that he had been holding. He pulled it open, reached inside, and removed a folded piece of paper. He cleared his throat as he began to read aloud the words their sensi had written.
My sons,
It is once again time for your annual spiritual retreat, and since the events of last years trip where less than spiritual, I decided to send the four of you somewhere that was closer to home.
"Somewhere closer to a hospital, at least." Donatello muttered under his breath. Raphael and Michelangelo giggled, then stopped as Leonardo narrowed his eyes at them.
This area of wilderness I have chosen is free of human contact, and is abundant in wildlife. And, no, Michelangelo, you cannot bring anything home!
"Aw, man!" Michelangelo stomped the ground with his foot.
Each of you were allowed to bring three items with you. Items that will help you reconnect to your inner self, and I hope you all choose your items wisely. I have also once again assigned each of you a task, which is to be complete before your trip is over.
"I was afraid of that." Raphael rolled his eyes.
I hope the four of you enjoy your retreat and complete the tasks I have assigned. Remember, the point of this journey is to strengthen both your spirits and your brotherly bond. Take care of yourselves, and watch out for each other.
Love, Splinter
Leonardo silently read farther down the paper before folding it back up, then shoved his hand back into the bag.
"Okay," He then pulled out a small silver compass, a hand-drawn map, and a book on constellations. " Donnie, you get to be our navigator. You can only use these things to guide us around the woods."
"No problem, considering I had to leave my computer at home." Donatello said as he took the items into his hands.
"Mikey," Leonardo pulled another book out of the knapsack, along with a pencil and a hardbacked sketchbook. Michelangelo read the cover of the book as Leonardo handed to him.
"Animals of the Northeast?"
"Master Splinter wants you to keep a visual record of the wildlife we encounter." Leonardo smiled as his brother's eyes lit up.
" All right!" Michelangelo cheered. " I was scared that I was gonna have to collect poop samples again!"
"Nope," Leonardo laughed as he looked up from the bag. " Raph gets the honor of collecting the animal feces this time."
"What!"
Leonardo continued his laughter as he handed Raphael a pair of binoculars and a book on birds. "I'm just kidding."
"You better be." Raphael glared at his brother as he jerked the binoculars out of Leonardo's hands. "So what am I doin' then?"
"Birdwatching." Leonardo neatly folded the now empty knapsack into a square then shoved it into his blue and black backpack. " There is a list of bird species in that book that Splinter wants you to find."
Raphael scoffed at the idea. " I always get stuck doin' the stupid stuff." He took the lens cap off of the binoculars and directed them toward the sky. " Well, look at that. I already found one."
"Where?" Leonardo shielded his eyes from sun as he looked toward the sky. Raphael then lowered the binoculars and pointed at the space between his two fingers.
" It be right here if I had the extra finger." He chuckled at his own joke as Leonardo rolled his eyes.
" Whatever. Anyway, let's get moving. Donnie?"
"Whoa, wait a minute!" Raphael held up his hands. " What's Splinter makin' you do?"
" Nothing really." Leonardo gave Raphael a smug smile. " I just have to make sure you guys don't get ate by bears."
"Bears?" Michelangelo gulped.
This time, it was Raphael's turn to roll his eyes. " That figures. Why would you have to do anythin'?"
"According to Splinter's map, we start by going north for about five miles." Donatello held the compass up and turned his body around until the arrow pointed up. " That way."
"Okay guys. Let's move out." Leonardo let Donatello pass by, then moved behind him. Michelangelo, who was still shaking from Leonardo's bear comment, followed his brothers closely as Raphael lagged behind.
" Splinter said that this walk to our camp site is suppose to be a time to think and reflect, so we must be silent." Leonardo said as he looked around.
" You mean we can't talk for five miles!" Michelangelo whined.
Leonardo put his finger to his mouth and nodded.
"Walk faster so Mikey doesn't explode on ya." Raphael said as he moved past Leonardo and Donatello.
For four miles, Michelangelo kept his mouth shut, which surprised his brothers. But the welcomed silence was short lived.
" Are we there yet?" Michelangelo moaned as his feet began to drag.
Leonardo and Raphael exchanged glances, each hoping the other one would ignore their little brother.
" Hey, is it true that if a tree falls in the woods, that it doesn't make a sound? Do you think we'll see Bigfoot? Is there a lake out here? Can we go swimming if there is? Is any one else getting hungry? How much farther-"
"SHUT UP MIKEY!" Leonardo and Raphael shouted at the same. Their voices rose up to the tree tops and frighten the birds that sat in them. Donatello, who had been concentrating on the map, jumped around and placed his finger to his mouth.
" Shhh! We're not supposed to be talking!"
" When I said it was a time to think, I didn't mean out loud!" Leonardo exclaimed.
"But, it was getting so noisy in my head, I had to let some of it out!" Michelangelo said in his defense.
Raphael crossed his arms over his chest and laughed. " I could say somethin' really mean, but I'll hold my tongue."
Leonardo sighed heavily as he calmed himself down. " It's okay, Mikey." He then turned to Donatello. " We should be close to our camp site, right?"
Donatello then gave Leonardo a wary smile. " Actually-"
Leonardo narrowed his eyes. " Actually what, Don?"
" Well, if you want me to lie, we're almost there." Donatello then turned the map upside down and gulped. " If you want the truth, we're about four miles off course."
Leonardo's mouth dropped in disbelief as Raphael laughed louder. Leonardo narrowed his eyes at Raphael as his brother doubled over, then sighed again as he began to walk back down the wooden path.