Disclaimer: I do not own anything at all. Except my original characters. I think.

A/N: This story was inspired by my sister, who planted the idea in my head. I'm trying at humor again. Read at your own risk.

Prelude

"Sir? I have a report on..." Riza started. Her superior, Colonel Mustang, shook his head. "Not now, Lieutenant. I'm busy playing hangman."

Riza raised an eyebrow. "With who, sir?"

"Myself. Who else. Curses! WHAT WORD DOESN'T HAVE AN X IN IT!"

"May I ask who's winning, sir?" Riza asked dryly.

"Myself. That sly bastard. What on earth could that word be?" Roy scowled, and scribbled some more on the paper. He was drawing a rather accurate representation of himself on a hang man's noose. Riza was mildly surprised. She hadn't known he was such a good artist.

"Anyway, about that report sir. It deals with Fullmetal, if that will get your attention," Riza said, trying to forget that her superior was playing a game against himself, and losing.

"I don't care about Fullmetal. I wish he would just get run over by a train," Mustang growled.

Riza smirked. "He did, sir."

"WHAT?" Mustang jumped out of his seat, the heated game of hangman forgotten. "YES! FINALLY! MY PRAYERS HAVE BEEN ANSWERED!"

Riza suddenly felt slightly bad that she had lied. Oh well. He had to know about what had happened, and if lying was what it took...

"I'm just kidding sir. What I meant to say was that—"

"He got ran over by a train, but the conductor backed up and ran him over again with a vengeance?" Roy asked hopefully.

Riza sighed. "No sir. Fullmetal is alive. He apparently has gone berserk and captured another alchemist. For what purpose, we don't know."

Roy sank into his chair, defeated. "That was mean, Hawkeye. I was getting ready to celebrate, too." Suddenly, he composed himself. "Anyway. To business. Who did he capture? If it's Armstrong, I'm afraid that I'll have to congratulate the shrimp."

Riza wondered when Roy had gotten so spiteful. Not that Armstrong wasn't annoying, but... "The name of the alchemist that Fullmetal is holding hostage is called the Silvertongue alchemist."

Roy thought for a moment. "The Silvertongue alchemist? What on earth would he want with her? All she can do is make anything happen by simply saying it..." He thought a little longer, and then realized what he had just said. "Oh crap."

Riza nodded in agreement. "Yes sir, oh crap."

OOOOOOOOO

A/N: Short beginning, I know. Complete with my twisted humor. Reviews are welcome.