A/N: Part of this chapter was loosely inspired by the bear scene in Without A Paddle, which is a very funny movie! Go rent it! I should point out that I know grizzly bears don't normally live in the northern part of New York State, nor do they live in wooded areas, but I had to use something big, and black bears aren't exactly scary! 0)
Chapter Three: Turtles, Bears, and Snipes! Oh My!
" Well, I'm done." Donatello set his abacus down and place the pencil and paper on top of it. Raphael, who was leaning back against a rock looking up at the stars, pulled his head up and raise his brow.
" You did all of them already?"
"Yep," Donatello flipped back through the pad of paper, making sure he didn't miss any problems. " All 873 of them. Not bad for," He then looked down at his watch. "-huh, three hours? I thought I was faster than that." Raphael shook his head, then leaned his head back. Donatello then looked over the fire to Leonardo, who was still standing at the edge of the woods.
"Still no sign of him?"
Leonardo turned his head around and sighed. " I'm really getting worried. Mikey's been out there too long."
Raphael looked back up. " Hey, you told me to get rid of him, and I did, so stop whinin'!"
He sat up straight and brought his knees up. " I don't know about you guys, but I've kinda enjoyed not hearin' his mouth."
Leonardo felt a chill go through his body and he moved back to the warmth of the fire. " I think we should go look for him."
" Oh, good grief, Leo!" Raphael gripped. " Would you stop bein' so uptight? Mike is fine!" A sudden crunch of under brush startled them and they all turned to face the woods.
" See? What'd I tell ya?" Raphael stood up and peered into the darkness as the sound grew louder. " Mikey? Ya out there, bud?"
Raphael was answer by a low growl, and the footsteps moved faster.
" Okay, Mikey," Donatello also stood and moved next to Raphael. " You can stop trying to scare us. We know it's you." Again they heard the growl and then the footsteps stopped.
"Mike?" Leonardo walked a little closer to the trees, then felt his skin crawl as a giant shadow moved among the trees. He turned back to his brothers, his eyes wide with fear.
" Guys, that's not Mikey."
"What is it?" Donatello asked, feeling a little nervous by the look on Leonardo's face.
Before Leonardo could answer him, the footsteps started up again at a faster pace as the creature ran right toward them.
" It's a BEAR!" Leonardo screamed.
"Holy shit!" Raphael exclaimed as he and his brothers scattered around the campfire and crashed into each other on the opposite side. They huddled together as the giant grizzly sniffed the ground.
"Okay, fearless leader," Raphael withdrew his sais and clung onto them tightly. " Now what?"
Leonardo gulped as the bear moved over to Michelangelo's backpack and started pawing at it. " I'm open for suggestions!" He looked over at Raphael, then at Donatello.
"Why don't we just scare it off?" Raphael spun his sai around and sneered at the animal.
"Yeah, good idea, Raph." Donatello said sarcastically. " I'm sure the 800 pound bear will gladly walk away if we ask him nicely!"
Raphael then threw Donatello a dirty look " Well, since you seem to know everythin', what do you think we should do?"
"Well, for one thing, put your sais away," Donatello pushed down Raphael's hands. " He's on the endangered species list."
Raphael shoved his weapons back into his belt and scoffed. " And I'm gonna add mutant turtle to the list if you don't hurry up and do somethin'!"
Donatello then reached into his belt and shoved a small black container into Raphael's hands. Raphael looked down at the object, then back at his brother.
" Now, what the hell am I gonna do with pepper spray?"
"It's a camping standard if you go into bear country. Use it on him if he gets closer to us." Donatello said as Leonardo directed them around the fire as the bear moved over to where Leonardo was once sitting. He then gasped as the bear knock over his neat pile of books and buried his nose into his backpack.
"I think I just realized what he's after. " Leonardo said, then pointed his finger as the bear lifted out the open bag of marshmallows with it's mouth and pulled at it with it's paws.
" Hopefully, he'll leave after he's done." Donatello said after he released the breath he was holding.
"Leave it to Mikey to cause trouble and not even be here!" Raphael exclaimed as he tighten his grip on the spray and continued to hold it up. Another sudden noise from the black woods made the three turtles jump. They looked back at the bear, who was concentrating on the marshmallows, then back at the trees.
" I hope Papa Bear didn't bring Mama and Baby with him!" Donatello gulped.
The footsteps drew closer to the fire and Michelangelo appeared suddenly. He jumped into the campsite and held the black duffel bag over his head triumphantly.
" I did it! I caught a snipe!"
" MIKEY!" His brothers all yelled at once. " SHUT UP!"
Michelangelo then looked over to his right and saw the seven foot tall grizzly bear standing above him. The bear roared, and the color drained away from Michelangelo's face as he dropped his arms.
" Mommy!"
" Don't move, Mike!" Leonardo shouted.
"Punch 'em in the nose, Mikey!" Raphael exclaimed as he laughed.
" Raphael!" Leonardo narrowed his eyes.
"What?" Raphael shrugged his shoulders. " You don't think that would be funny?"
"Listen to me Mike!" Donatello said as he snapped his fingers. Michelangelo turned his eyes to his brother but left his head completely still. " If he tries anything, drop to the ground, curl into a fetal position and play dead!"
Michelangelo laughed nervously then looked back at the bear, who had dropped back down to all fours and started to sniff around the turtle's feet. The bear's nose then went up Michelangelo's leg and around the base of his shell.
" I'd say that bear gettin' a little too friendly," Raphael laughed again as he saw the surprised look on his youngest brother's face. The bear then started to sniff at Michelangelo's open hand.
"What's it doing?" He whispered as he watched the bear out of the corners of his eyes.
" I think it smells those marshmallows on your hand." Leonardo replied. " That's what drew it here in the first place."
"Did it eat my Hershey bars too?" Michelangelo said half-jokingly. As he laughed, he suddenly felt warm wetness in the palm of his hand.
" Oh sick! It licked me! Stupid bear!" Then, without thinking, Michelangelo raised his hand and flicked the bear in the nose. The bear stepped back and shook it's head, then glared back at the turtle and a low growl erupted from his throat.
"Uh oh." Michelangelo whimpered.
" Good job, dumbass!" Raphael shouted. " You should've just jumped into his mouth!"
The bear roared again as it stood back up and as it dropped back down, it took off after the turtles.
" RUUUUNNNNNNN!" Michelangelo screamed as he ran toward his brothers. The bear chased them around the fire in circles a few times before stopping. It then turned and went the other direction, catching the Turtles by surprise.
" Well, he's not stupid. I'll give him that!" Leonardo said with a slight laugh.
" Quick! Climb the trees!" Donatello shouted, and they scattered to different corners of the campsite leaving the bear alone on the ground.
" Are you sure this is safe?" Leonardo called out into the night air. " Don't bears climb trees?"
"Grizzlies can until their claws reach a certain length, then it's difficult for them to grip the trunk!" Donatello shouted back
"I'll have ta remember that next time so I can just throw Mikey down to it!" Raphael yelled as he glared at Michelangelo.
They then watched as the bear started to rip through their belongings as it continued its angry rampage.
" Hey!" Leonardo shouted as the bear picked up one of his books and shredded it. " That wasn't even mine! That was Splinter's!"
"Ooooo! You're gonna get it!" Michelangelo laughed, then let out a high pitched shriek as the bear stepped on his CD player and then crushed his Gameboy. "NOOO! Oh, the horror! I feel faint!"
Donatello only shook his head as the bear smashed his abacus. " Well, that was a waste of time to make."
Suddenly, the bear stopped, and shook it's body, then rose it's nose to the air. The Turtles watched as the bear slowly began to move away from the fire and back into the trees. They waited until it had fully disappeared into the woods, then they jumped down from the trees and gathered around the fire.
" I still take the bats over that any day!" Michelangelo said with a chuckle. Raphael glared at him while Donatello shook his head and Leonardo rolled his eyes. It was then that they noticed that Michelangelo was still holding onto the duffel bag.
"What's that?" Raphael pointed.
Michelangelo smiled as his lifted up the bag. " I told you! I caught a snipe!"
His brothers exchanged nervous glances with each other as Donatello spoke.
" Uh, Mikey, snipes aren't real."
"Huh? Not real?" Michelangelo's face twisted in confusion. " But I did just what Raph told me to do. I called it and when it got closer to me, I bagged it!"
" Mike, Raph made it up." Leonardo said as he eyed the bag. " It was just something to keep you busy so you wouldn't bother us."
Michelangelo then looked at the bag, and his brothers jumped back as the bag moved.
"Then what did I catch?"
Michelangelo set the bag down and untied the strings. He pulled back the opening, then jumped back, and the four turtles watched and waited. Their eyes grew wide as a small, furry, brown colored animal poked its head out, and it turned it's huge yellow eyes to them.
" What the crap is that?" Raphael asked as the creature crawled out of the bag and onto the ground. It sat back on it's hind legs and then began to lick the spaces between it's webbed toes with a long, thin tongue. Donatello gasped as the light from the fire shined on the creature's scaley back.
" I've never seen anything like that in my life!" He looked back at Michelangelo and smiled. " Maybe the snipe is real, after all."
" It's actually kinda cute!" Michelangelo said as he knelt down. " Can I take it home?"
"NO!" His brothers responded quickly.
" What was that?" Leonardo then said as he turned his head to the woods. The other turtles then heard the shrill call coming from deep in the woods. The creature turned it's head and scared the Turtles as it let out it's own ear piercing shriek that sounded exactly like the sound Raphael had made earlier. Raphael then laughed as he crossed his arms over his chest.
" It really did sound like that! Guess I'm not as original as I thought!"
The creature blinked it's large eyes at the Turtles, then ran off into the woods, leaving the Turtles still slightly confused.
"Man! I wanted to keep that thing!" Michelangelo snapped his fingers.
" Mikey, do you remember that hamster you had that you forgot to feed?" Raphael said as he watched Michelangelo's shoulders and face drop. " I rest my case."
"Well, I think we can scratch wilderness camping off our list of retreat ideas!" Donatello said as he picked up the scattered pieces on his broken abacus. Leonardo also picked up his torn books as Michelangelo collected his broken electronics.
" Maybe we should ask Splinter if we could stay home next year." Leonardo tossed the scraps of book into his backpack, then pulled his hand out in disgust when he discovered it was still wet from the bear's saliva.
"Hey!" Michelangelo shouted. " I know the perfect place to go to next time!"
"Where?" Donatello asked.
" That health spa on Sixth Street that just opened up! Nothing reconnects you better to your inner self than a massage and a facial!"
His brothers protested loudly, and threw their backpacks at Michelangelo, who then shrugged.
" Come on! I have coupons!"