Chapter 5

June 2003

Done. She was finally done with this nonsense. No more school for her. She was freed from the bonds that kept her here.

Shifting a little in the uncomfortable seat, Dawn listened to the valedictorian of the class of 2003 make his speech. Not that she was actually paying any attention to it, she didn't really care about the guy—or any of her other classmates for that matter—but she had to at least pretend to pay attention. But she was distracted by the knowledge that this was the last day before she started her honest life.

Okay, she admitted, honest might not be the word most people would use in describing how she intended to live her life, but at least she wouldn't be living a lie anymore. So, in that respect, she was being more than honest. But man, was this speech boring. And this wasn't even the last one; couldn't they make an event like this at least a bit fun? Was that really too much to ask?

It probably was. Not to mention that the only graduation she had ever heard about that wasn't boring hadn't exactly been fun either. So many people had died on that day – both people she didn't care about and others who she actually did care about. Would that day have gone differently if she had been there? Would she have been able to kill the mayor in that short time he was neither invulnerable nor yet a full demon?

It was a question that had plagued her ever since she heard how Faith had died during the fight. Faith, the second Slayer after her sister's death, had been someone she liked. Oh, there had been some trouble between the Boston native and the original Scoobies, but that friction hadn't stopped her from liking the girl. And while she hadn't been able to fill the gap that had been left by the death of Buffy and her mom, unlike Kendra this Slayer had been able to engender a feeling of… of what exactly? Sisterhood? She had never really examined her relationship with the brunette, but they had been close.

She had met the girl on one of her visits to Sunnydale. As had become the habit during those visits, her sister's friends had been grilling her again about information of what she'd done to Spike and Drusilla. Why they still tried to do that she couldn't understand, after all she hadn't given them any information the five other times they'd tried. But she wasn't about to complain; it was a good opportunity to be close to Xander, and that was something she relished.

But during that interrogation the Slayer had suddenly entered the library. And on that moment her attention had been drawn away from her husband-to-be. The vitality that the Slayer radiated had been so intense that Dawn had momentarily believed she was seeing a vision from her past. For the first time in her life she was facing a Slayer who took joy in her work. A Slayer who saw the world as her private playground. Intellectually she'd known it wasn't possible, but she had still been half-surprised when she heard the name. Faith, not Chloe.

It was ridiculous anyway, no matter how much Faith reminded her of that former partner it couldn't have been the self-proclaimed other half of the True Noir. But the similarities… even during that short meeting where she first shook the other's powerful hand, she had been able to predict how the Slayer would react in dozens of situations. For the rest of that day she had ignored the Scoobies—even Xander—and focused entirely on this fresh breath of air. The penchant for bladed weapons and the joy she found in killing were just two of the many things Faith had in common with the second-best assassin of her other home world.

Sometimes Dawn wondered how Buffy would have reacted to her brazen counterpart, but these musings usually ended the same way as when she thought about how her own life would have been had her sister been alive. Killing was bad, and there was no excuse for it. Not that Faith had done a lot of killing, she had mostly just gotten rid of demons and such, only that one tiny accident could be counted as a kill, but well… That was an accident, and if the others hadn't gone so far overboard about the whole situation it wouldn't even have mattered.

But they had, and until her next visit there had been a lot of tension going on between the people meant to save the world. The tension had grown so thick that when she arrived during one of those confrontations she had almost been able to slice it with a knife. The only one supporting the Slayer had strangely enough been Cordelia, who claimed that it didn't matter that one person had died. Faith had already saved so many more that when it came down to statistics it wouldn't really be noticed.

With her own voice then added to the argument the group had made up enough to at least be polite to each other. But even now she still sometimes late at night blamed the Scoobies for their behavior, knowing that that conflict was what eventually led to the death of her two only real friends among them. That it had been Cordy who chose the side of Faith still surprised her.

Upon first meeting Faith she had immediately recognized that the rich girl wouldn't like the Slayer much. After all, she had likened her to Mireille far too often not to be able to predict the clashing of those two powerful personalities. The only difference was that this time the person standing between them hadn't been her, but Xander.

Of course, she hadn't been happy with the Slayer either when she found out about the thing with Xander, but it wasn't the first time that Xander had fallen for someone she liked as well. They had eventually made up and she had resigned herself to the fact that Xander simply had a good taste when it came to women, something that would undoubtedly work in her advantage once the day arrived that she was old enough to make use of it. A day that would now never come. No, she shook her head in an attempt not to think about that anymore and tried to focus on happier moments.

Her time with the two other girls had been pleasant. In a way Chloe's dream had finally come true; the three of them together. Of course, they had all three been in other bodies—and two of them didn't even know about Noir—but those had been the only times aside from her time with Jane, Sara, or Dave that she came close to having fun.

Five friends, it sounded like so few, especially when you considered she only saw four of them maybe once a month. But it had been so much, and had been so important to her. Her only links to real human emotions, something she had lost but was still anxious to see in others. Especially since it was so important for her to be able to simulate them. She had experimented with feeling some emotions, but it had been hard on her. There were no positive emotions left inside of her, and if she didn't have the advantages, why would she accept the drawbacks?

As the people around her suddenly rose to their feet for applause she quickly joined them, berating herself for losing track of where she was. That was something she really couldn't afford anymore now that her time had come. Only three more of these ridiculous speeches to go, and then she could leave this city on a real mission, not another of these half-baked jobs she had done up until now. Oh yes, after today Noir would once again walk the Earth and deliver justice.

Her kind of justice; where it really was an eye for an eye, and a tooth for a tooth. They had taken most of what she cared about. They had taken her future. And now, the US military would find out why they shouldn't have messed around with things they didn't understand.

X.X.X

"No, this just won't do," Dave sighed as he looked his living room over. It had to be perfect when Dawn arrived but unfortunately this wasn't even close. While the dinner table was—in his not so humble opinion—a masterpiece, the rest of the room was still one big mess. Okay, maybe not a mess, but not the way he wanted it either. Stepping over to the most offending decoration, he picked up the candle and considered where he should put it. Eventually, after careful deliberation, he found the perfect spot and when he finally put it down he couldn't stop himself from emitting a sigh of relief.

"That's better." While the move wasn't much, those couple of inches to the left had been just what the room needed. Now all that he really needed was his cooking to go just as well. Remembering the food he carefully sniffed the air, confident that nothing had gone wrong, but when he detected a faint burning scent he immediately ran into the kitchen.

"Oh gods, no. Don't let anything have happened." He was so terrified by that possibility that it took him a couple of seconds to realize that the steaks weren't even on the fire yet. Where was this going? That damned girl had him all twisted up in knots and he didn't have any way to get out of her grasp. Not that he wanted that, after all, in her grasp was exactly where he wanted to end up.

Shaking his head in order to dispel the sudden onslaught of daydreams he brought back his attention to the real world. While he was confident that someday he'd be able to seduce the beautiful brunette, she obviously wasn't interested in him. But on the upside, she wasn't interested in anyone else either. The main reason for that immediately put a damper on his mood however; she was still mourning for that guy from Sunnydale. And as this Xander had by now reached nearly divine status, he could only hope that he'd ever have even the slightest chance.

Trying some of the sauce he decided that it needed a bit more seasoning and once some more spices had been thrown in, he stirred again. Round, and round, and round. Just like on Dawn's prom. The night that had proven to be both the best, and worst of his life. Dancing the night away with her had finally made him realize that he really was in love with her. But the slightly distracted air she carried around her made the non-existence of his chances just a bit too clear for his tastes.

Why had he fallen for her? What could possibly be so interesting about such a strong young woman, whose dark hair glinted if the sun struck it just right, who was so smart, so beautiful, so… aargh! He was doing it again. Every single time he tried to come up with reasons why he shouldn't be so influenced by something like the way her hair always seemed to smell like the floral shampoo she used, or how her lips would taste.

No! Stop that. Stepping back from the furnace he took a deep breath in order to calm his raging heart. This was just another dinner, like the two of them had so many times before. All four times, a treacherous thought interrupted. Deciding he needed a distraction, he cast a glance about he found only one thing that might work.

Of course, if you considered the universe's strange humor, it was obvious that the doorbell would ring right after he'd turned open the cold-water tap and stuck his head under the streaming water.

She was here. Standing up straight, Dave ignored the spray of water that he threw around the kitchen and completely forgetting what he probably looked like he ran to open the door. He couldn't possibly let her stand outside like that.

"Hey Dawn."

"Dave?" It sounded a bit hesitant and surprised, something he wasn't used to when it came to the girl in front of him.

"What is it?"

"Why do you look like some kind of drowned kitten?" Oh god. He froze in shock when he registered the meaning of her words; he'd ruined his chances completely. A feeling of mortification completely suffused his body and he couldn't stop berating himself. He didn't know how long he stood there before he finally realized Dawn was talking to him.

"Sorry, what?"

"Can. I. Come. In." Ouch, this evening was getting worse every minute, now she was pissed at him.

"Of course you can, come in." And stepping to the side he extravagantly waved her inside. A move he was sure would have looked perfect if there hadn't been a big drop of water on the tip of his nose. Sometimes life really sucked.

….…

Despite the shaky start, the evening had gone pretty well. The food had been good—Dawn had actually complimented him on it, which by itself was worth all that time spent in the kitchen—and the conversation had been kept at a level where his friend hadn't felt the need to clam up. No mentions of the supernatural, nothing about Sunnydale, her boss wasn't mentioned, and they hadn't spoken about what her plans were for the future.

But that casual easiness was about to be broken, as Dawn spoke from the side of the couch she was using. "You were there, weren't you?"

Damn, he'd hoped she hadn't noticed him. "Yes."

"Why? I told you it wasn't anything important." Which of course, was one of the mysteries about her. Practically every teenager defined their life by their graduation from high school, but that wasn't the case with Dawn. As long as he'd known her she'd told him she didn't really care about it, and it wasn't as if she was just saying that either. During the ceremony it had been obvious to him that she had been bored by the whole affair.

'I wanted to see the moment when the girl I love received the ticket to her life', was what he thought, but the only thing he could get out was something completely different. "I just… you know, wanted to see it."

"Why?" Why? Why was she so persistent?

"Because I… ah, was curious. I mean, it's not like I've ever had one and most people I know don't exactly have graduations either." For a couple of seconds after he'd told her that half-truth she kept staring at him, in what looked to him like an attempt to get the whole truth. But he managed to withstand that onslaught and she finally looked away, before changing the subject.

"There's something I've been meaning to tell you for a while now, but I was afraid to do so." What? For a single moment his hopes soared to undreamed heights. He couldn't have helped but notice that she had arrived with a backpack—probably full of clothes—and two small business suitcases. Or whatever those things were called. The kind people used when large amounts of money had to be paid. But the exact name of the things wasn't important, all that mattered right now was the possibility that she wanted to move in with him, so he had to drag the information out of her.

"What do you want to tell me?" The words didn't come out as calm as he'd planned; but, Dave reassured himself, considering that his heart was lodged in his throat and his mouth as dry as a desert in a heat wave, he didn't do too badly.

Dawn sighed, and he couldn't help but have his hopes rise again. It couldn't be anything else, could it? "I'm leaving Los Angeles." Oh… It could be something else. It took him a while to fully understand the implications of what she'd just said, and hadn't said.

"No. You can't be."

"I am."

Impossible. Mere seconds ago he'd been the luckiest guy on the planet, but now all his hopes for a perfect future had been crushed. Leaving only an empty husk, unless… There was a chance, there was always a chance and he should try. No, do, or do not. There is no try. "When will you be back?"

"I won't." He had been right about that. Okay, next question.

"Can I come?"

"No." Sometimes he hated being right, and this was definitely one of those times.

"Stay."

"No."

"But I need you."

Dave could see the sigh of frustration forming before she even let it out. The sigh that signified that while she believed he was asking things he shouldn't be, the questions weren't bad enough for her to cut him off. "Dave, you're a good friend, but there are things I need to do. Things that can't be put off any longer."

Sunnydale. She was going after those military people. He had really hoped she'd put that behind her, but obviously she had only pretended. But he couldn't just let her go. No matter the outcome of her fight with the government, he'd never see her again. And that just couldn't happen. So, suddenly getting to his feet he decided to take the biggest gamble of his life.

Walking over to the stereo he put on the CD he'd bought that very afternoon, and closing his eyes he let the sweet sound roll over him. This had been the same music they'd played on the prom, that day of days for which he'd been asked to accompany the beautiful girl who was now threatening to leave his life. No, he wouldn't allow that to happen. Humming along with the music he turned back to face Dawn and holding out his hand he asked her to dance.

As he'd expected, she accepted. The girl was brilliant, maybe not when it came to book knowledge but when it came to assessing tactical situations she was probably even better than her boss. After all, that guy still made her do the planning for the missions. But despite her brilliance, over the years he had learned how he could influence her slightly. No big decisions or anything, but it had made her slightly predictable in her dealings with him. And right now what she wanted was to stop him from bothering her about a decision that had been made long before.

For a couple of minutes they simply swayed along with the music, before a slightly more energetic tune came and he was able to put one of the styles he'd been taught into practice. Something that made him wonder when and where Dawn had learned to dance. Unlike him she hadn't taken any classes before the prom, but had outclassed him when it came down to the actual dancing. And while it was a little upsetting that he'd gotten so blasé about it all, he just put it down to another strange thing about the girl. And one that didn't matter right now.

Holding her a little closer again, he whispered in her hair. "This is nice, don't you think?"

Dawn didn't use any words to reply but he could feel her nod where she was resting her head on his shoulder. And as he was pretty certain she had her eyes closed, he considered that his cue.

Lifting her hair, he exposed her creamy-white neck and planted a feather-light kiss on it. Light or not, it received an immediate reaction as the girl in his arms froze and spoke to him in an abnormally poised tone of voice. "What was that?"

Do, or do not. "I'm giving you a reason to stay." And with those words he placed a second kiss on her neck.

"Don't," Dawn said while trying to step out of his reach, only to be stopped by his encircling arms.

Dave knew that whatever was going to happen, that moment where she allowed his arms to stop her retreat signified the moment she agreed with it. Oh, she might have something to say about it later, but she was more than capable of breaking free. So, armed with new confidence, he kissed her on the forehead.

"Stop it," came the whisper.

"And why should I do that?" Dave murmured back, still with his lips attached to her face.

"This shouldn't be happening."

He couldn't hold back his smile, never before had he known her to try to argue her way out of something, at least not in a situation like this where there was a far easier way to deal with the problem. And slowly putting a hand under her chin, he raised her face until he was staring into those two dark pools of hidden knowledge that she called her eyes.

And kissed her on the lips.

That moment seemed to last forever, and with his tongue begging for permission to enter her mouth he enjoyed what little he could. Until her mouth opened and their tongues dueled for supremacy of their mouths; causing his heart to come close to exploding from happiness. She was kissing him back! And not only that, he realized as he felt her arms snake around his neck, she was deepening the kiss. Taking that as a sign he should do the same, he cradled her face in his hands.

"Dave," Dawn panted when they separated from the kiss.

"Dawn," he murmured back, before taking a good look at her eyes again. Her eyes that had lost their earlier fear and were now completely dominated by passion, something that made him realize exactly how far this evening might go. And together with that realization his confidence was boosted and he decided to risk everything.

Lowering his head for another kiss he tasted the sweetness of her mouth, while slipping his hands under her shirt and caressing her bare back, before going lower and taking hold of two round globes there, pulling her even closer. Only a short stiffening of her body betrayed her inexperience in these matters, before Dawn let out a low moan of contentment and he slowly, but surely, started to divest her of her clothing.

X.X.X

Lying in the bed, Dawn considered her current situation. How could she have been so blind about her friend? Why hadn't she noticed how he felt about her? While that was a good question, it didn't really matter right now. She needed to decide on her next course of action. She had to leave, but could she leave Dave behind? Or should she take him along?

The warm arm that encircled her waist moved a little and she froze, hoping that her musing hadn't woken the boy up. But luckily he didn't show any sign of waking up and she let out a slight breath of relief. She didn't want him to try to influence her again, his actions this night had already proven to be far too effective for her to want to face them again.

His actions, losing herself in passion had an entirely different effect from anything she had imagined such a thing might have had. For the first time in years she had a clear head, her thoughts came at speeds that she could barely remember having had two years before. The therapeutic effects of sex. She had to stop herself from making a sound to show her disbelief of that. But despite the ridiculousness of it all, it did seem to have stopped her recent slide into the abyss. While she had tried to repress it, recent events had started to show her that she was her own greatest danger.

Battles where she suddenly reverted to the way she had acted when it came to killing Ethan, fights where she lost her grasp on the situation as she suddenly focused on a single person. Not to mention the fuzzy way her mind had started to act at less deadly times. Less deadly, but just as dangerous. Especially when it happened around her family.

Ruthlessly repressing a shudder, she remembered some of the moments members of her family had come so close to discovering what she did in her free time. The only reason she had gotten away with some of those events was that nobody would ever believe that even she was capable of that. Even she. This time she couldn't suppress a sigh as she reflected on part of the reason she wanted to leave this city and never return.

While she had been able to close the distance with her family a bit, mainly for the sake of maintaining her cover, she still had the same problems with them—nobody understood her. Okay, that wasn't all that strange, but still… it wasn't that difficult to sit down with her in an attempt to discover her problems was it? Of course, she wouldn't have given them any answers, but the least they could've done was to make the attempt.

Upset by these annoying memories, Dawn decided to take a shower. She felt sticky from all the sweat, and other fluids, and had a feeling being clean might improve her mood. Whether it actually would was still uncertain, but at least it gave her something else to think about.

Carefully lifting Dave's arm and scooting over to the side she did her best not to wake him up. The need for some quiet time hadn't passed yet; there were still a great number of questions that needed to be answered before she'd be willing to face him again. Unfortunately the fact that he was suddenly missing her warm body seemed to wake him up and as he started to rouse from sleep she quickly placed a finger on his lips.

"Ssh, sleep," she whispered in an attempt to stop him from waking up. That was supposed to work, and for once something happened the way it should as he only mumbled something incomprehensible before turning over and continue sleeping. For another couple of minutes she remained where she was, just in case he might wake up again, but when it was obvious he'd be asleep for a while yet she made her way to the tiny bathroom.

Stepping under the shower, she reveled in the feeling of lukewarm water cascading on her body. Closing her eyes she raised her head upwards and remembered times she stood like this in completely different parts of the world. Places she was going to be visiting again. Well, in this body it would be the first time she went there, but once she was done with taking her revenge on those responsible for the death of her friends she would finally go home.

Home, strange how that place seemed to have moved over the years. Before that Halloween her home had first been Los Angeles and then Sunnydale. After she had gained an extra set of memories however, there were two more places she considered home. Never Japan, that had only been a temporary stop, but Mireille's apartment had become a home for her and she longed to return to the city of light. And there was yet another place that kept calling to her.

The Manor. That beautiful ancient ruin originally built by the Romans, and later turned into the one thing that represented Soldats. Another thing she was in two minds about. Oh, they had tried to kill both Mireille and her, but aside from that she had to admit that their impression of humanity was very accurate. If only they hadn't strayed from their original path so much they would have been a force for good. Okay, maybe not good, but they wouldn't have been really bad either.

But nothing like that mattered. After drinking some of the water, which was still falling down on her face, she turned the shower off and stepped out. The convictions of Soldats had been drilled into her however, and there were times where she realized exactly how right they had been and she wished that they existed in this world as well. If they did however, she had never found any proof of it, and that wasn't because she hadn't looked for it.

Finishing toweling off she took her time fixing her hair, in what was ever more turning into an obvious attempt to put off the inevitable. Her decision about what she was going to do had been taken even before Dave had finally fallen asleep, but had been slightly altered when he did.

She would leave. Tonight. There was no question about it, she just couldn't afford to wait any longer. Were she to wait until the morning Dave might be able to persuade her otherwise, and Dawn didn't want that to happen. Looking herself over in the mirror she couldn't help but notice the tears that started to form in her eyes. Tears that in recent years she had only shed on two occasions; when Buffy and her mom died, and when Sunnydale had been destroyed.

She was close to crying again however, and while she couldn't afford to show that weakness now she was honest enough to herself to admit she couldn't stop them. But she could hold them back just a little while longer, and so she did. Striding out of the bathroom she made her way back to the living room, where she collected her clothes and put them into her backpack, from which she took fresh ones.

Once dressed however there was little left to do and she felt the first tear streaking down her face as she opened one of her briefcases. The salty taste as the drop entered her mouth reminded her of the food she had eaten only hours before and called on more tears. Why had he said it? Even if she hadn't been faking sleep he should have realized that saying those three words just wasn't done.

But he did, and now she had to deal with it. Taking the things she needed Dawn walked back to the bedroom as she assembled them, while at the same time trying to clear the mist before her eyes. Once she reached the door and saw him lying in the light shining in through the window she simply had to explain what she was about to do, so she whispered, making sure it wasn't loud enough to wake him.

"I'm sorry Dave, but you shouldn't have said it. I can't afford that. Everybody used to agree on it. Love kills people."

Deciding there was nothing she could do to put this moment off any longer she raised her gun and, aiming carefully over the silencer, pulled the trigger.