Disclaimer: I don't own Harry Potter
Note: Last chapter, I think, before I delve into the actual story line associated with the hidden "she" and other things besides. I may have other chapters, but this one shall be in first person, just FYI. I need it to be in first person, 'cause I found this amazing song to go along with it, with the mysterious character. Don't worry, I still won't mention a name, just to keep people guessing, so with that, please enjoy…
A New Day Has Come
I am the one that people more pain would result. I had to be stronger, I always had to be stronger, I could never be weak, but I was, and I didn't see that.
Severus… he of all people… I could see in him, kindness and warmth and light and a past that held tragedies not unlike mine and how could I not like him? I saw in him what most people never took time to notice, what they never wanted to see in him, what they overlooked, and what was invisible to those he kept his heart close to. I choose him over Sirius, not for looks, both were cute, and not for smarts, for both were also smart in their own ways. I choose Severus because he could reWhy not protect those close to me. I had to be strong, or else more pain would result. I had to be stronger, I always had to be stronger, I could never be weak, but I was, and I didn't see that.
Severus… he of all people… I could see in him, kindness and warmth and light and a past that held tragedies not unlike mine and how could I not like him? I saw in him what most people never took time to notice, what they never wanted to see in him, what they overlooked, and what was invisible to those he kept his heart close to. I choose him over Sirius, not for looks, both were cute, and not for smarts, for both were also smart in their own ways. I choose Severus because he could reach me, for he alone could understand what I've gone through, and even if Sirius said he could too, Severus understood with no words at all. I couldn't forget that, and he needed me like I needed him. He loved me and all I could do was fall hopelessly in love back, and we changed each other and shaped each other's lives to one another, and we loved each other grandly. Yes, grandly. It was a love that spanned both time and space.
…
I loved him…
…
Sure, he tried to curse me, tried to anger me, and get me to hate him, but I couldn't. I couldn't even hate Lucious. I hate very few people in this world, the Dark Lord, and the three evils that inhabit the portals, and that is all, no more, no less. Not unless someone angers me enough. Then I can hate and seek revenge. But not often. I always try my best. At Hogwarts, my best subject was potions, and Dumbledore wanted me to become a teacher there when the other teacher retired or left. I agreed, but I never got to, so I guess that is why Severus did it. To live out my dream for me. I never asked him to, but he did. I can see him teaching everyday from where I am, and he does a wonderful job, he just needs to lighten up, and that in itself is kinda large, I know.
He showed me strength at times and I loved it when he was there. I cried and wept for him, as he was hurt, and as he still loved me. He went through torment, and I didn't even believe it and I still can't believe it. I love him so very much. Even after my second year, with my ordeal that Lily and James and I had gone through he helped me, reluctantly I could tell, but he did his own way of helping me recover. I don't think he realized it for some time, but… he did help.
…
I was no angel, I was cursed from the day I was born, cursed to suffer and bleed and nothing it seemed could or would change that situation that I was now in. I was depressed, even when I met Lily for the first time. She hadn't seen what I had seen nor could know what I have been through, so how could she understand what I was going through?
I lived by my own rules for the most part, with so many destinies, I was higher in ran than the entire ministry of magic. My favorite was a set of 6 sayings, 'Honor guide my step, Wisdom clear my mind, Life be my shield, Passion fire my heart, Sky guide my thought, and Darkness hide my fear' and that was how I would try to live, even though at many times it seemed impossible to do. I did it the best that I could and I was strong enough to attempt that every time I needed to follow those sayings. I hated fighting, sure I did it often enough, I still hated it. I only truly fought to protect, and no other time… if I recall it properly…
Love, an emotion I never thought I would feel. Hope, something I thought I would never have. A reason to live, a reason to love, a reason to die…
Enough to sacrifice my life for the man who had loved me without question and without caring about my past. To sacrifice my life for my friends and a school that I had come to love. To sacrifice myself for all those that had helped me, and in the hopes that the future will be better than the past and that I had helped that future get better. I died, and I died for the cause that I wanted to die for. I left how I wanted to leave.
I felt my body writhe with some sort of force… Would I be brought back? But why, does Severus need me that much? I… I would like… to go back… to be with… him… one… last… time…
A/N: This one goes to Cassi Angelica who has been the only one to review this story to the end. I hope you continue reading when I actually do my formal 'chapters' with plotline and everything.