Title: Tug of War

Author: Cannibal Jello

Rating: I think this will be an R. =3

Warning: Mild yaoi/Shounen-ai (nothing graphic)

Disclaimer: I will never own anything as cool as Resident Evil/Biohazard. Capcom owns those. And of course I'm not making any profit. If I thought I could, I wouldn't be posting it on fanfiction.net, now would I?

Notes:

Well, this is the first part of chapter 2, rofl. Yes, that might be confusing to some of you. If it were one large chapter, there would have been a change of the POV, which might have seemed weird and jumbling...oh well. Besides, I wanted to post something.

REVIEW damn't, or I shall write no more! :O!

To my lovely, loyal reviewers, I thank and give hugs n kisses! Fanfiction.net needs more people like y'all, :D

This is for Lady Frost, the demanding tyrant! XD Yes doll, you now have an external heart, a giant claw, and a black spandex speedo like Thanatos. So haaaawwtt :3!

EDIT: Went through it pretty quickly, fixed the obvious parts. BlizzardAngel, thanks for stabbing me in the ass. Then again, you shouldn't have been too shocked - you should expect horrible writing from a horrible author. xX; Anyways...yeah...I get so sick and tired of my own stories I'd nearly die if I had to read over them once finished...So maybe I should stop writing! ;P

I was hurried whilst writing by SOMEONE (you know who you are). Dude, you, yes you with the writing talent surpassed by mine, why don't you point out my typos? Gah! lol.

Eh...that bit kinda...deflated my 'writing erection'. Oh well..

= = =

CH 2 Part 1

The sun was shining bright in the sky, causing the land-lying grass to grow a lush emerald green. It was on this turf that eight pairs of feet strode as the survivors enjoyed a leisurely day in the local park.

It had been Cindy's idea, Cindy's cheery voice that urged them all to gather here. "Wouldn't it be nice if we could just sit back and relax with one another?" she asked, smiling as usual. Despite a few groans, all which came from David, everyone else was enthusiastic enough. And, like always it seemed, David was dragged along.

It's as if I'm on some goddamn leash, David scowled.

Said leash lead David to a shady spot under a grand oak tree where Cindy was humming happily as she fluffed out a blanket to sit. She giggled when David blinked at the god awful, stereotypical picnic red and white checkered print. "Aw, you don't like it, Davey?"

"It's horrible," he answered, thinking to himself, She doesn't have very good taste, does she? Not for clothes either…

Remaining in high spirits, she teased, "Like you could have done any better."

"I could have," David scoffed. "I'd be better off anywhere but here."

Cindy stuck out her small pink tongue. "What's so bad about bein' outside?"

"The sun," he grunted.

She laughed, wagging a scolding finger at him. "You should take advantage of your natural tan, Dave. You should be glad to have it!"

"I am; it saves me from going outside to get one."

"Oh Dave," Cindy sighed.

The plumber folded his arms and leaned against the tree bark that scratched roughly at his clothing – khaki shorts and an orange T-shirt. If there was one thing David was thankful for it was that outside, few mirrors stood. That saved him from having to look at himself and the horror that clung to his lanky body.

That's the last time I let the girls shop for me. End of story.

David thought for a moment, before frowning at Cindy. "Besides, I hate tan lines."

Cindy winked, giggling lightly. "Then take off some clothes!"

Hmm, that would solve one problem – two, actually. This shirt and these pants, ughh…

The plumber blinked again, then sneered. "Nice try, but I'll pass."

Tsking beneath her breath, Cindy smiled at her friend. "You know what, you're more vain than a woman," she said.

David grunted.

Cindy busied herself with setting out plates piled with food. There was another part to the outing. For some reason Cindy had insisted on taking the whole hog, so to speak. She had put it against herself to plan an old fashion picnic. Not even David could deny that it was interesting to watch Cindy's nimble, practiced hands work to and fro, always active. But with his own paws empty, David felt useless, like a procrastinator after having worked with them constantly on the job.

"I'm bored," he sighed.

The busy blonde glanced up from her chores, setting her sights on the stoic man. Then something beyond him and the tree caught her sapphire eyes. "If you're bored, then why don't you go play with the others?"

Oh no, she's starting to sound like a mother, David thought to himself. You know what? That probably means you're acting like a kid again.

David ignored his inner voice and turned his head. He wasn't the only childish adult about. His friends were galloping amongst the sun's rays and the grass. Kevin was pumping his legs in a full on sprint, in the lead to pursue a lump on the ground. Behind him, Alyssa Ashcroft was gaining speed.

With a massive leap, Kevin threw his equally massive frame atop the object, so suddenly that David wasn't sure whether Alyssa meant to topple on top of him or did it purely by accident. Yoko, who had been running a few paces behind the journalist, had enough time to skid to a stop and avoid the traffic jam of bodies. The young Japanese girl doubled over, her sweet laughter ringing through the warm air as the two stubborn adults wrestled over whatever it was that they had.

David blinked for the third and then four time that day as Kevin hopped to his feet. Around his shin and with as much class as a leech, Alyssa desperately kept her hold. Obviously, Kevin hadn't heard the saying "white men can't dance". Maybe he plainly didn't give a shit because he began groove anyway, despite his lack of talent or the 28 year old woman dangling from his legs.

"What in the hell…?" David muttered beneath his breath. Then he shook his head. "Idiots."

Cindy was giggling again. "What, you don't like football?" She glanced from David to the group again. "…Or at least their attempt at it? Is it safe to call that football?"

The plumber didn't answer and instead continued to watch as Kevin began to approach both he and Cindy in their spot beneath the protective shade of the tree. After a moment of futile struggle, Alyssa has settled with the fact that she couldn't bring Kevin down with her and released the man. Alyssa Ashcroft may have fallen but was far from defeat. Behind Kevin, she uprighted herself and began to move. Strawberry blonde hair fluttering in the wind, Alyssa charged at the unsuspecting cop. When she reach a few feet from the man, she threw herself atop his back, arms locking around Kevin's thick neck. Kevin yelped and tried to shake her off, but Alyssa had become the human octopus.

That woman's gotta have strong arms, David thought. It was like watching a rodeo, with Kevin as the bull and Alyssa as the determined cowgirl. Hah…cowgirl…I shouldn't tell her that. She'd flip about her weight. I don't know about anyone else, but I don't feel like cleaning up any more vomit.

David shuddered, remembering the previous night. Kevin had gone a little overboard with the drinks – which is an understatement, and not much a surprise. As if the smooch he'd given David hasn't been obvious enough, the former R.P.D. could have convinced the most skeptical on-looker by the amount of alcohol that had shown a second appearance straight from the mans gut.

It hadn't been until David had hailed a taxi and dumped the man onto his bed that Kevin's stomach decided to swim. David barely had the time to rub his shoulder, which had grown stiff from carrying the other's weight, until he had to lug the man up again in a desperate search for the bathroom. The plumber knew he should have been concerned for his friend's wellbeing, but instead he grew hotheaded when Kevin puked once on the linoleum 24 inches from the toilet. He'd cursed as he stumbled to avoid the brown cottage cheese-resembling puddle, but to no avail, he'd still managed to land a foot in it.

If there was one thing David King hated, it was vomit. The smell, taste, ugh! And if there were a second, then it'd have to be needles. Luckily, no needles had been involved in that particular situation. But David now knew the third item on his hate list: a drunken, regurgitating Kevin.

Kevin wasn't that bad after he'd been dropped in front of the porcelain bowl he seemed to know so well. In fact, he used that to empty his sloshing stomach instead of the floor – a much better place in David's mind. Still, he dreaded even the thought of approaching the pool of newly digested stomach acid, liquefied cheetos, a basket of fish and chips, and God knows what else he'd consumed in the past 24 hours.

David didn't mind being a procrastinator then and he was sure Kevin wouldn't have complained either. After all, the stocky drunk had needed someone to keep watch over him as he panted, gasped, and groaned with his sweaty face pressed against the toilet seat. Then again, if his head somehow slid off the seat and fell into the toilet and caused him to drown, it wouldn't have been such a bad thing – just a guarantee he wouldn't get so shitfaced again. But man, what an embarrassing, pitiful death that would have been…

Kevin had been snoring on the bathroom floor as David mopped up the mess with two whole packages of paper towels. The next morning when Cindy had searched for the MIA rolls, she'd rolled her eyes at David's explanation. There was absolutely no way I was going to have it soak through a couple sheets and get on my hands, uck! Nasty, nasty, nasty, makes me squeamish even thinking about it!

The next morning, Kevin may have woken up with a hangover, but for David, it was more serious than that. David had been traumatized. He'd seriously considered greeting the man waking to the early morning with a boot in the balls. Of course, David couldn't, since his boots now lived in the bathtub until the plumber perfected the practice of sanitation. Hell, he figured he'd probably give the footwear a free one way trip to the trashcan. Great…not only am I a mechanic, but I'm a garbage man, as well. Lovely.

Of course, like everything else, David wouldn't fit that mold either. How many times had he been told that he didn't look like a plumber? So many he thought he'd die if he heard those words ever again. Looks can be deceiving, obviously, since Alyssa Ashcroft resembled a stick despite her toughness. She must have weighed as much, David guess, by the way Kevin swung her around his torso.

With a flip over his shoulder, the kicking journalist was trapped within the officer's arms. Kevin made no attempt to hide his amusement at Alyssa's faux pas. Shouts turned into shrieks as Kevin tipped her upside down with one arm until her hanging blonde hair was brushing against his knees. In his free hand, Kevin held the football.

"Let go of me, you big oaf!" Alyssa snarled, pounding her hands against any part of Kevin in reach. She obviously wasn't sharing Kevin's amusement.

Trust Kevin to always be laughing…

Said man wore the almost permanent grin on his face as he spoke. "Hey guys! What are you two doing hiding from the sun?"

"Making a picnic!" Cindy chirped.

"Sounds good," Kevin said with a wink. "I can't wait to see the fruit of all your hard work, Cindy. But what's Dave doing?"

Before the plumber could answer for himself, Cindy butt in. "Complainin' that he's bored, as always."

Kevin laughed as he leaned forward and let Alyssa slid from his grasp. She thudded to the ground with an eruption of hissing curses. Unlike felines, it was apparent that humans didn't always land on their feet.

"Ouch, you prick! That was abuse!" the journalist said, voice laden with venom.

"A man's gotta do what a man's gotta do," Kevin laughed. "And if that means dropping some uptight bitch on her head – OW!"

Alyssa was the one smiling now, after having introduced her pointed foot to Kevin's shin. Already the new acquaintance wasn't off to a good start.

Cindy was giggling madly, coiling her blonde hair around one finger when David glanced at her and said, "See why I don't get involved?"

"Aww, but it looks fun!" she grinned.

David groaned. "Riiight…"

A determined hand clamped onto David's right arm suddenly, pulling the man to his feet.

"Come on, Dave! Cindy is right, it is fun! What's wrong with tossin' around a little pigskin with your buds?"

David grumbled something beneath his breath, barely audible, but Kevin's ears, trained to catch the slightest sound, perked to attention. "What was that?" the former RPD officer asked, prodding David's chest with one thick finger.

David swatted the hand away, but soon enough it returned with ever-growing persistence. "Stop it!" the plumber snapped.

"Not until you tell me!" Kevin threatened.

Time to play it dumb.

"Tell you what?" David asked innocently.

"You know," Kevin urged. Then a dangerous smile broke out from his face as he raised an eyebrow wickedly. "Don't make me tickle you."

David shot Kevin eyes of wrath. "Don't fucking try it."

Cindy set down the paper plates in her hand and moved closer to the standing men. "I'll hold him, Kev!"

So she wants a piece of this too?

David was cornered against two villains and a hard place, which just happened to be a tree. Unless he could climb faster than hands could attack, he was screwed. Well, you could always delay the torture or surrender at your own expense.

David was as vulnerable to tickling as Superman was to criptonite. What was even worse was the fact that he was very, very ticklish. Hopefully no one else knew. It was safer to assume and not take any chances.

It was time to cash in the pennies. "Okay damn't, just lay off!"

The terrible twosome grinned viciously as David murmured beneath his breath again.

Cindy and Kevin leaned closer, nearly touching ear to lips. Their own jaws slackened as David's words sunk in.

"…I can't catch the ball," he admitted sheepishly.

After a beat of silence, the waitress and cop began to laugh, rolling to their backs on the blanket. Legs kicked in the air. Far from that level of amusement, David grit his teeth and pushed himself to his feet. His shoes tore and uprooted grass as he began to stomp away from the scene; hands shoved deep in his pockets.

Kevin calmed himself first, holding his hard stomach with one hand. With the other he pushed himself to his feet, calling out, "Hey!" at David's back. "Where are ya goin'?"

"Anywhere but here," the pissed plumber snapped.

Kevin faltered in his stride for a moment, cringing before he followed again. "Oh come on Dave, we were just kidding! We're laughing in shock! You're like the last person I'd think couldn't catch a ball."

Still, David kept his pace. Seeing this, Kevin hurried to a jog after the plumber as Cindy fought to collect herself beneath the shade of the tree.

Kevin couldn't help but smile, amused by the other mans dramatic attitude. It was cute, really, just like the ponytail that hung down the plumber's back. Lured by the hanging gathering of shiny black hair, Kevin reached a hand towards it. He pulled.

David pivoted on his feet lightening fast. His hand, equally speedy, flashed up to catch Kevin against the cheek. The sound of skin against skin clapped loudly in the air as the slap landed. The cop yelped, frightened by the sudden sting of pain. One hand snaked up to touch the throbbing flesh as Kevin tried to stroke feeling back into his cheek.

"Ow, you jerk!" the 31 year old whined. He'd been slapped enough by women, but never by a man. And it was definitely worse with David. "You're just as bitchy as Alyssa sometimes, ya know?" the former RPD Officer scowled.

"Well if you didn't treat me like one and left me the fuck alone, I wouldn't be!" the other spat.

"How do I treat you like a woman?!" Kevin demanded.

David kept pounding words out. "And don't touch my hair, dickhead! What, are you gonna tease me about it? Do I look like a woman to you? Hmm? Oh, and now that you know I can't catch a ball, it makes me even more feminine, right?"

Kevin held up his hands defensively, waving them back and forth in surrender. "Woah there, calm down! Look, I'm sorry about trying to have some fun. And no, I'm not going to push your buttons any further." Then he sighed. "Why do you have to be so serious, Dave? It's not like I'm ever serious. Even if I were, there are ways you could be more masculine – like cutting your hair, for example."

David was lightening little by little. "Yeah, but it's not like you can teach me how to catch."

Kevin blinked for a moment, then threw his head back to laugh. He crossed his thick muscular arms over his wide chest. "Do you remember who you're talking to? I am the All Mighty Ryman! You're lucky to have a friend like me – gorgeous, athletic, and a kickass player at football!"

David kept his tongue bit but he couldn't prevent his eyes from rolling.

The other continued to ramble, unnoticing. "…Which means that if I can throw a ball, I can teach you how – no questions asked."

"Uh…..huh…" the plumber drawled, full of misgivings. He turned to continue his trek away from the park. "You do that. I'm just going to go this way –"

"Nice try!" Kevin laughed as he caught David by the arm, flinching as he did, wanting to avoid another slap. Surprisingly, it never came. "I'll teach you how to catch a ball if it kills me-"

"- Which it will -" David forced between words.

"Nonsense! You will catch the ball, David. That's a Kevin Ryman promise."

= = =

More Notes:

I thought it was a little laughable that David couldn't catch a football...after all, he is macho. He's the type of guy who could, no problem, but I think he's more like "pfft, I'm too dignified for that" or something.

Eh, whatever. Lalalaa...

Seriously people, REVIEW. If you don't I'll assume no one is reading and stop writing, because that would just be worthless.