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Note: Well thanks once again for the reviews- Anyways, this story supposed a bit of a challenge. I was at loss of what to write a few times. In the end I achieved what I catalogue as good intense, dramatic conversation. Hope you enjoy it and ...keep reviewing! ;)

'I will not allow you to die because I believe you deserve a chance to know happiness dear boy. Do you not see? I fight for all those who deserve to live! To know the real pleasure of life. You still have a chance Severus, to enjoy the life that has been denied to you.'

Severus stared at Dumbledore, a small rather incoherent smile of incredulance coming to his lips. It died swiftly as he shook his head, blood pounding loudly in his ears.

'Then you fight for others. I do not deserve the chance you speak of...nor death. Though I long for it. I know it is impossible.'

As Dumbledore opened his mouth to reply, Snape shook his head again. He felt a sharp pain in his chest, as though his heart were being squeezed. He forced himself to go on.

'I do not consider happiness.' as the word passed through his lips he savoured, for he rarely used it. 'I exist only because others will not end my damned existance and I am not worthy of killing myself.' His self disgust made his icy glare melt, tears springing to his eyes, though he was unaware of them as he spoke with the passion of a dying man making his last will. 'As I was not worthy of taking those lives I did, in a fool's attempt at gaining one of my own. Even now I stand by yours side, in weak hope-' he paused suddenly, ' No, not hope. For I do not believe in hope. Say rather a weak stab at mending the ills I have done. But no spell will reawaken the dead, nor will anything take away the mistakes and let me start anew. I am cursed and wish only to die. And yet I wish to live, if only to suffer some more. How can you love me Albus? For I hate myself.

Albus gazed at the man dazedly, even as the black eyes bored into his own. A strange weariness seeming to descend upon him like a blanket, making his bones feel heavy and his breathing troubled. A small part of him wished he had not spoken, that he had let Snape be. But seeing the tears replacing the usual smirk or scowl drowned that feeling, for that more than anything served for him to see how the Potions Master was feeling in truth. He had always suspected Severus thoughts were something like that, a great dose of guilt, self-hate implanted by his family and reinforced at school, solitude...Still, hearing the words from his own lips had been like swallowing goblets of burning and icy poison. Making him want to double up in pain, even the ache was in his heart not in his body.

'I love you. Because I see a man who has seen the error of his ways. Who came to me seeking pardon, who fights and struggles to repair the world. '

'Only because he helped ruin it first.'

Snape mumbled and then sighed. Fighting the tears threatening to spill.

'You made a dreadful mistake Severus. There is no real excuse, but you were confused. Befuddled by the hate you had welled inside you.'

Dumbledore's gaze was settled unfalteringly on the pale man lying on the bed, the man he had learned to love as a son. He had never experienced body torture, but this pain in his heart and soul were more exquisiste than any his body could have achieved. How to repair a shattered soul inside a broken body belonging to a miserable existance? He had no clear idea, but he could not let the pieces be swept aside by despair, time leading them away into oblivion. No, there were still possibilities of reuniting the shards, of putting together a life.

'But I deserved it. I hated it, but I deserved it.'

Severus responded in a monotone, appearing to be reading the lines from a book. Dumbledore shook his head in pity and guilt. All those years the poor boy had been abused at home and never had he uttered a word, and everyone had failed to notice. Even now he still flinched from any touch. And still he hid, he was positive that if he had not found him at the apparating post he would have waited and crawled back to the castle. Now with those biting words he had managed to melt the doors before him, but the sight revealed had not been pleasant. There were fences of sharp spears and the whole place was naught but a graveyard where the most predominating object was his own tombstone, declaring the death of a small five year old. He felt sick, nauseated with the overwhelming whirlwind of emotions cursing through him.

'You most certainly did not.'

He said finally, taking the hand lying on the cover and was twitching. Snape pulled away and set it further from him, a far away look in his eyes.

'Severus?'

Dumbledore asked in concern, as he watched the young man staring into space. His expression unreadable, but his white knuckles as his hands curled into fists betraying some strong emotion was going through him. Snape blinked and took a few steady breaths.

'No. No. No. I did not deserve it. But I'm not worthy of your touch either Headmaster. I am well and will recuperate soon, ready to continue in your service. You need not worry yourself further.'

He motioned to the door with a curt nod, feeling faint and wishing more than ever that Voldemort had succeeded in killing him. No, he had not deserved the hate he had received at home, unlooked for. After all, he had been a child, what could he have done to earn such treatment? Yet there were others who had suffered the same, and yet they had been strong. They had not chosen the easiest path, the one who seemed to fulfill their desire for revenge the fastest. No, he was not worthy of Albus Dumbledore. It made no sense that the man should want to associate with him, more than the simple master-servant relationship that he led in his own kind way. But were it true, still he would wish to avoid the old man of the pain of his loss. For he was sure his life would end soon. Perhaps as a result of the discovery of his treachery, perhaps by an accident while the Dark Lord had fun, or perhaps.. He would simply relieve the world of his presence, adding to the ridding of evil the Potter boy could manage in the years to come.

'Ah, Severus. That is what you fail to understand. I do worry, as do others, though you do not notice. You are worthy though you deem yourself not to be. You took a wrong turn, yes, perhaps the idea of being feared instead of hummiliated appealed to you, perhaps punishing others made you feel like you were punishing those who had hurt you. You were proved wrong in both aspects and turned back. Not too late, it is never too late to repent. The evil may not be cured, but further may wounds be avoided. You took innocent lives, they willl forever lie on your concious. But you have saved others. And here you are helping the Light to conquer over the Darkness. Understand also that there are others who care for you. For your thoughts and peace of mind. It is difficult in these times of Gloom. Your heart is shattered, but there is still glue running through your veins pumped through your body by a desire to do good. We may still make your heart whole once more... there is still hope.'

Dumbledore spoke softly, taking Severus' hand once more in a rather firce grip for the man was making attempts at pulling it back. Snape closed his eyes in pain at the sweet cruelty of the words and feeling he could fight no longer finally succumbed to the loving grasp, tears spilling from his eyes. He felt someone moving nearer and was suddenly enveloped in a tender embrace. He did not know what to do, he did not recall being hugged as if by a father before, hugged at all indeed. He simply let himself fold into the frail and old form of the man he respected and loved above all others.