Ch.10

I ran into the room and locked the door quickly behind me. I notice that I was panting. I was panting as if I had run for miles. I put my back to the nearest wall and slid slowly to the ground. I closed my eyes to see if my headache would go down at all and at the same time, trying to calm my self down.

When I finally did, I reached into my pocket and pulled my pensieve out. I enlarged it and then put my wand tip to my right temple. As I took out a memory of Sirius, I left my headache lessen as I placed it in the pensieve. I pulled out five more memories of him before the headache completely disappeared.

As I watched them swirl in the pensieve, I remembered the reason why I began using it. It was a gift that I was going to give Bill before we broke up. When I was moving into my new house, I completely forgot that I had brought it with me. When, I was about to destroy it, an owl came with the news of Sirius death.

No matter how many times I would try to forget it, it would never go away. It was like a leech, refusing to let me forget.

Flashback Beginning

"Hey Cass, can you get the last box from the kitchen please?" I said, wiping my sleeve over my forehead.

"You mean the one labeled, 'Bill's Stuff'," Cassandra yelled back.

"IT'S THE ONLY BOX IN THE KITCHEN!" I stated.

"Oh yeah," she said simply, caring my biggest box. "You know, for someone who really hates their ex-boyfriend, you sure do have a lot of his shit," she said as she place it on the floor.

"A lot of it is just stuff that he gave me. Some of it I'm going to give back to him or just throw it away." I said as I opened one of the other boxes. "You know that you have gotten stronger since the last time we meet, you realize that?"

"Yeah, well, that's what a year with the personal trainer from hell does to you. Remind me never to go back to Miami, ok?"

"Just as long as you remind me to never go back to England," I muttered under my breath.

"What?"

"Nothing."

We continued to unpack my things in silence. I took a break and noticed how much Cassandra had changed from the first time that I meet her.

Cassandra Rivers was the only American that I considered a friend since I moved to America six years ago. Back then, she was one of those stereotypical blondes. Bright blue eyes, long waist length blonde hair, extremely hyper, and just wouldn't shut up sometimes. But know... she had changed so much!!!

Cassandra's long blond hair now had a boyish cut to it. Her bright blue eyes were now almost a stormy gray. Before, she was a scrawny little twig and now she actually had some muscle on her. The only things that didn't change were her being hyper, when she didn't know when to shut up, and being two inches taller then me.

"I have the perfect guy for you," I said as I headed back to 'Bill's Box.'

"Oh no! I don't trust any guy that you might want to set me up with! Remember that creepy neighbor guy that you made me go out with?" Cassandra said.

"I didn't know that he was going to try to stalk you afterwards. Besides, this guy isn't just any guy. This guy is my best guy friend. This guy is Charlie Weasley."

"Or how you like to call him, 'The brother that you never had'?"

"Exactly. You two will make the perfect couple. Plus, you both have so many things in common. You both love sports, you both love torturing me, you both love to eat, and you both study animals. The only difference is that he studies dragons and you study birds," I said before I could shut myself up. 'Spear! You were not supposed to say that! Did you completely forget that she is a muggle?" My subconscious yelled.

"You mean Komodo Dragons, right?" she said as she opened the box.

"Yes! That is exactly what I mean! What else would I mean, right?" I said in a panicky voice and ending it with a nervous laugh. Cass just gave me a look and went back to the box again. 'Ok, that was a little close,' I thought.

'Yeah well, she already considers you a witch anyways. Every since you accidentally showed her that wand of yours, she's been thinking that you study under that Wicca religion," my subconscious replied.

"Ok. What exactly do you want to do with all this stuff?" Cassandra asked as she took out a picture.

"I'm going to separate them all into three piles. One pile for the stuff that I'm going to return to him, one for the stuff that I'm going to keep, and one for the stuff that I'm going to burn," I said while taking out one of my stuffed unicorns.

"He got you a whole mess of stuffed animals didn't he?" she said, looking back into the box.

"They are all mostly of unicorns and werewolves."

"You do know that they do not exist, right?"

"Yeah, sure. What ever you want to believe," I said simply.

"So you're going to put them all in the stuff your going to keep pile?"

"Yep."

"How about this shirt?"

"In the return pile."

"And this jersey?'

"That's the jersey of his favorite soccer team. Put it in the burn pile," I said. I saw Cassandra smile before she went back to the box again. I then heard a muffled sound.

"What?"

"I said, 'What the hell is this bowl doing in here?'," she said as she took out the pensieve.

"It's not a bowl," I said stated.

"Then what is it?"

"It's... an antique bowl. I was going to give it to Bill to decorate his living room but I never got the chance to give it to him since he broke up with me. You know what, that will look perfect in my room. I'll be right back," I said that all in one breath while snatching the pensieve from Cassandra's hands and running towards my room.

"Better if I don't ask, right?"

"Right!" I said as I closed the door behind.

"Is she gone yet?" I heard my mirror whisper.

"No she isn't. And you better stay quite or I'm going to throw this pensieve at you!" I whispered back angrily. It remained quite.

I put the pensieve on the floor and looked at it for a while.

'So what are you going to do with it?" my subconscious said.

'I'm not going to keep it, that's for sure,' I thought.

'Then what are you going to do with it then?'

'Destroy it I guess,' I thought as I took my wand out of my sleeve.

'WHAT?! Do you remember how much that cost you? If you don't, I do!'

'Just shut up already! I'm trying to remember a spell!'

'Fine, don't come crying to me when you realize later on what you did.'

I heard complete silence in the room. 'Finally,' I thought.

When I was about to perform the spell that I finally remembered, I heard Cassandra calling my name.

"What Cassandra?"

"I think you should see this!"

"What?" I asked her as I came out of the room. I saw her looking towards the window and I looked as well. It was Fawkes. He was holding a letter in his mouth. I already knew that when Fawkes had a letter for someone, it was for something important. Whether it being good or bad.

"Open the window," I said in a bothered tone.

"What?" Cassandra said. I looked at her and saw that she had a shocked look on her face. I knew that her studies on birds never said anything about a bird like Fawkes.

"Open the window and get the letter that he is holding."

"Why?"

"Just get the damn letter!" I said angrily. She stayed where she was and then finally went to the window. She opened it and took the letter from Fawkes. As soon as that happened, Fawkes then flew back to where he came from.

"Open the letter and read it to me please," I said as I slowly sat on the ground.

"Spear, what's going on?" she asked me, with much urgency in her voice.

"Just read me the letter! I promise to tell you what's going on if you just read me the god damn letter!" I said. 'What do you mean you'll tell her everything?!' my subconscious screamed at me.

'I'll erase that part of her memory. I just want her to read the letter!' I responded back.

We both stayed in silence for a couple of more minutes. Cassandra finally broke the wax seal on the envelope and took out the letter.

" 'To Ms. Spear Black,

I regret to inform you that your father, Sirius Black, was killed by the Unforgivable Curse, Avada Kedavra, five days ago, by one of Voldemort's lead supporters, Bellatrix Lestrange. But I would also like to mention that the ministry has now decided to clear his name of his past convictions.

Please do not do anything foolish. You will regret it later if you do. Send an Owl to Remus if you need to talk to someone about this. Remember, do not do anything that you might regret later.

Sincerely,

Professor Albus Dumbledore.'

"You never told me that your father was still alive," Cassandra said to me when she finished reading the letter. I didn't here her. All that I heard from the letter was ' your father, Sirius Black, was killed by the Unforgivable Curse, Avada Kedavra.' I couldn't believe that my father had survived all those years in Askaban with the Dementors just to be killed by his own cousin.

I wanted to say something but it felt like someone pulled out my throat. I felt tears already trickling down my face. I didn't know what to do exactly at that moment. The only person that I had as a father was now dead. The person who gave me a home when I was younger and considered me to be his true daughter, loved me with all of his heart, was now dead. And the way that I found out was through a stupid letter.

I put my hands towards my face and began to cry. It was the first time that I cried since I broke up with Bill. I heard Cassandra go into the bedroom and then came out again.

"Put them in here," I heard her say. I lifted my head up and saw that she was holding the pensieve.

"What?" I asked.

"Put your memories in here. Put the memories that you think that will hurt the most in there. That was what my eldest sister did when our grandfather died."

"How...?"

"How do I know? I am unfortunately the squib of my family. But I know enough about these things to just know," Cassandra stated as she put the pensieve in front of me. I looked at it for a while and then began to put my memories in there one by one.

"You will get headaches every time that someone mentions to you about how you are felling about Sirius. When that happens, just go and put some more memories of him in there. That was how it happened with m sister," Cassandra said as she sat next to me. I couldn't think of what else to say. I just put my hands towards my face again and continued to cry.

Flashback Ends

I put the tip of my wand to my head again to take out that memory. Of course, it didn't come out.

'Well, you know the good thing about that day was that you didn't have to lie to Cassandra anymore,' my subconscious said.

'There was nothing good about that day. Nothing at all.'

'But what can you do about it though. Nothing. You just have to mourn for him like any other person would.'

'Yeah well, I'm not like every other person. I'm me,' I thought as I put the top back on the pensieve and shrinking it again.

'Whatever you want to think,' it said simply.