"The Pledge"

by darthelwig

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I do not own Saiyuki. This story is rated T. Implied Slash.

Drabble- Sanzo did not want this responsibility, but caring for Goku is all he can do.

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For all the power Goku possesses, he is still weak. How can he have lived over five hundred years without gaining one drop of wisdom?

He has no control over himself, and he is too dangerous to remain that way. Every time that limiter if removed or destroyed, he becomes another person entirely.

I shouldn't even call it a person. It's more like an animal. All he can think of or want in that form is destruction- of everything and everyone. He becomes a monster- something that opposes me in this quest.

I should destroy him. In that state, it is foolish and dangerous to attempt to subdue him. A smarter man would have killed Goku when it happened in the desert.

But I am not that man. That monster is still Goku underneath that killing rage, and even in that state I can hear him calling me. I could never shoot the boy I've come to feel so much for, and I will allow no one else to destroy him either.

Because he may be over five hundred years old but he is still a child in many ways. He needs me to care for him, to guide his footsteps and direct him onto a path that will lead him to happiness. In many ways, I have become to Goku what my master was to me. How could I betray that memory by giving Goku less than I had received?

Understand, I would never saddle myself with someone I needed to protect. It would be impossible for me to live with that on my shoulders. Rather, Goku is someone I must protect the world from, and that is not nearly as challenging as it sounds. He can be strong, when his emotions don't get the best of him, and he is already learning to master those. Very little is required from me in this.

It could almost make me… proud.

He won't be a fool much longer. He is already growing well past it. Is this the fulfillment my master felt, watching me grow stronger with every passing day?

Well, one day Goku will be an adult and he won't need me any longer. And I find myself strangely reluctant to see that day arrive. So I will continue to treat him as I always have and hope that he remains a child for just a little while longer.

Because the truth is, I need him just as much as he needs me. I will allow nothing to come between us as long as I have strength in my body. I will always be there to save him from himself, as he saves me.

It is the only pledge I can give.