'Breathe No More' by Evanesence
Possession- Revelation
I've been looking in the mirror for so long . . .
That I've come to believe my soul is on the other side.
Tala sat on Bryan's bed, arms wrapped around his bare torso for warmth that wasn't physical. All alone, staring at his reflection staring at him. He drowned in the bottomless pools of blue that stared at him coldly. Accusing him for his sin. Tears streamed down the red head's face, lonely tears. Every morning, Bryan got out of bed and left the apartment, locking the door behind him. He would come back late, long after dark had fallen, stop Tala in whatever he was doing, and . . . and . . .
Rape. He thought that Bryan was what he had wanted, but not this. This wasn't the love he had been promised. He didn't want this anymore.
"You don't want it now, but it was what you wanted three days ago. You've no one to blame but yourself."
"No. He lied to me. He said he loved me. . ."
"Kai loved you."
Oh the little pieces falling, shatter
Shards of me
Too sharp to put back together
Too small to matter
But big enough to cut me into so many little pieces
If I try to touch . . .
"I know he did. But I needed to hear him say it, I needed him to tell me." He glanced back up at the stern façade that faced him, begging his reflection to understand.
"So you decide to leave him, knowing that he cared, for a good fuck, to have lies whispered in you ear while he treats you like a whore. Worse. Whores get paid, you're doing this for free. You're pathetic." His reflection's lip lifted in a sneer, turning his head so he wouldn't have to see the boy curled in front of him.
"No, please, I didn't want . . ." he denied quietly. "I thought it was real . . . I didn't know it would hurt him so bad . . . I didn't know it would end like this." He buried his face in his knees, a shuddering sigh racking his frail body.
Blue eyes turned to the shivering child, his gaze pitying. "Yes you did," he mocked sweetly. "In your heart, you knew this would kill him." He began to snicker, words shaking around the sound. "You knew, and you counted on it. You wanted them to fight it out. You wanted to be wanted." He shook his head, laughter subsiding. "You little fool."
So I bleed
I bleed
And I breathe
I breathe no more
"No," he whispered into his knees. "No. I'd never hurt him on purpose. Never."
"Oh Tala," his reflection sighed. "You already have."
Tear-reddened eyes snapped up as the face in front of him shrieked in mirth, a hideous mockery of his pain. "Shut up!" he screamed, lunging forward to smash the mirror with his fist.
Shards of glass and a spattering of blood hung in the air before falling to the carpet, the abrupt silence ringing in his ears.
Take a breath and I try to draw from my spirit's well.
His breath came in a small sob, staring at his sliced fingers. He was gone. Lifting his crimson smeared hand, he covered his face. The story of his life. Destruction. Chaos. Hate.
Millions of tiny Talas from the fractured glass jolted upright just as he did, with no lives of their own. Eyes wide, he watched the door as the knob rattled and turned under a hard hand.
Dropping his coat on the floor as he kicked off his shoes, Bryan grinned as he came at the redhead kneeling in his bedroom. Grasping once-silky locks in his fist, he lifted the smaller boy roughly, hungrily devouring his lips. Pulling away from his toy, Bryan studied him, considering carefully before licking a smear of blood from his cheek.
"Did it hurt?" he callously demanded.
"No," was the whispered reply. Not that Bryan cared.
"Pity," he shot back, drowning Tala in another brutal kiss. Clasping a large hand on Tala's bared shoulder, he fumbled with his belt with one hand, the other pushing the slender boy forcefully to his knees.
"No!" he repeated, trying to pull away.
Yet again, you refuse to drink, like a stubborn child
"No? What made you think you had a choice?" Bryan scoffed. His hand flew back, his palm echoing a loud crack as it connected with Tala's flesh. He reeled, losing his balance and falling to the bed. In an instant, Bryan was on him, tearing at his clothes, holding him down.
He was hard against Tala's stomach as he stole his breath with hard kisses. His wrists were pinned above his head, with the older boy sitting on his legs. He heard the belt around his waist come undone, felt Bryan reach to remove his own clothes. They came off faster that Tala had time to react to, and Bryan released his wrists, confident he couldn't escape. His hands gripped the slender boy's hips, pressing on the bruises his fingers had left the night before. Tala cried out in agony, trying to push the larger boy off of himself.
Tala gasped when his legs were wrenched apart despite his efforts. The fingers digging into his skin pressed harder as Bryan thrust himself inside, agony searing its way through his battered frame.
"What d'ya say baby? One more go?" he panted from atop the redhead.
Pain and fear sent adrenaline coursing through his veins, and without the breath to speak, he spat in his assaulter's face.
"You little bitch!"
He backhanded him, whip-lashing his head to the side, leaving him face to face with the shattered remains of the mirror.
Lie to me
Convince me that I've been sick forever
And all of this
Will make sense when I get better
I know the difference
Between myself and my reflection
"You had a choice. Now you're mine. You made the decision. And there's nothing you can do to change it."
But he didn't hear. Meeting his own eyes in the mirror, his face hardened. He would change it. Looking back at Bryan's smirking features, he bucked his hips, throwing him backwards and out of him. His foot came up fast, smashing into his hardened member, dropping Bryan to the ground with a scream of pain. Curled around himself, all he could do was reach out as Tala pulled his pants on, skittering around him and out of the apartment.
I just can't help but wonder
Which of us do you love?
Running through the cold midnight streets, barefoot and hardly dressed, he raced back to his old home. Back to safety. Kai. He had to tell him he was sorry, beg him to take him back. He sucked in cold air, exhaling short plumes of steam, lungs laboring with the effort, his pants sounding a rhythm for his legs. 'Kai . . . Kai . . . Kai . . .'
Reaching the building that he had known for so long, he burst through the door, his feet numb from the chilled pavement, flying over the rich carpet of the lobby. His chest ached, but his pace never wavered. Gripping the rail, he tore up the first flight of stairs, tears streaming from his eyes, smearing the blood that marred his stinging cheek. A cramp pulsed up his side, threatening to cut of his supply of oxygen. But he wouldn't let it . . . not yet . . . Kai . . .
So I bleed
I bleed
And I breathe
I breathe now . .
Rushing through the door to their apartment, he clung to the frame, gasping out his lover's name. "Kai . . .?"
He was greeted by silence.
Pressing his freezing fingers to his chilled but agonized side, he fought to take deeper breaths. Stumbling through the apartment, he eased the door of the bedroom open, hoping to find him there. No. He was alone.
Unable to stand on his leaden legs another minute, he collapsed on the bed, hugging a pillow tight to his chest. His sobs made his uneven breaths harsh and shallow, his heart struggling to beat, lungs laboring.
"Kai . . ." he whimpered. "Please come back . . . I'm sorry . . . I . . . I love you . . ."
Bleed
I bleed
And I breathe
I breathe
The breath stilled in his lungs, a sudden terrible thought causing hims to shiver uncontrollably. What if he was gone . . . for ever? What if Kai didn't love him anymore? What if Bryan had found him first?
"Oh, gods, what have I done?"
I breathe
I breathe no more