The Business Trip:
By: Silver the Kid and The BatThing
Chapter Three:
"What would you do if I opened to door while we were driving?"
Bruce looked at Tim for a moment, hand on the wheel, and then turned the child safety on.
"Guess what I learned at school; give me a penny, its cool." Tim held out his hand and Bruce complied, handing the boy a penny. "Ok, I can put it up my nose and it'll come out of my nose."
"Give me the penny this instant."
"But it's really cool."
"No it's not."
"How would you know what is cool? You are, like 40 something! Your generation is way out of sway. You know the loop." Tim frowned as Bruce stopped the car. "I suppose this is goodbye for us."
"For three hours it is." Bruce handed Tim a one hundred dollar bill and shook his head. "This is all you get today, spend it wisely."
Tim rolled his eyes. "Whatever."
"Tim, listen, God, or the devil, gave you a brain for a reason. Use it. If you bring any press I swear to god I will ground you till your dying breath. Now get moving."
Tim opened his door and got out. "I love you Bruce."
The man simply glared.
"So I'll call you?"
"Be here in three hours. Don't make me wait." And Bruce pulled the door close and speed off.
Tim waved merrily, and then turned to his future.
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Tim walked down the street, absently wondering where he was and if he would know how to get back. He paused abruptly, and spun around looking for a sign.
"Elgin Street? What the hell? Hm…" He looked around once more now, noting that the big Whitehouse-wannabe (the Parliament buildings that is) were behind him. Bruce dropped him off on Rideau Street so…. That meant nothing to him yet. Later when he needed to get back, he'd just ask someone where that street was. Simple Simon- or whatever.
Continuing on his merry little way he noted that many people were crossing the street against the light or at places where there was no cross walk. He vaguely recalled hearing that Ottawa was the J-walking capital of…the world? Or was it just Canada- no… Ottawa was the capital of Ontar- no Canada? Oh who really cared anyway? He was American- it was expected of him to not know anything about Canada. Canadians were highly amused by this, so why not give them what they want.
"WHERE ARE ALL THE POLAR BEARS!" Tim screamed, pretending to be shocked. Some people stopped at stared at him, but most kept on with their day. Dang, he really hoped people would be more responsive to his outburst. He sulked and passed a man dressed like one of those old school guys from like… the Lord Elgin time period. Heck, maybe he WAS lord Elgin. Maybe that was the deal? Wait… how did he know about Lord Elgin?
"Good evening young gent." The man said in an old fashioned accent, bowing his head at Tim.
"What IS this place? Why are you dressed up?" Tim asked curiously.
"Why this is the finest dining facility in all our nations capital, my dear young lad. We have the best roast beef there is." He smiled, ignoring the dressing up question.
"I thought Canadian beef was bad."
"…No, it's not. It's good!"
"Then why does everyone think it's bad? Didn't Mad Cow Disease like come from here or whatever? Like - I don't think I want your beef, sir. It'll kill me."
"You're an American aren't you?"
"Yes! How could you tell? My good looks?" Tim smiled.
"Go on, be off with ya, young lad's like you have no business being here on such a sunny day as this, plenty of other things to do, eh." The man tried to sound like he wasn't shafting the kid, but he really wanted Tim to go away now. He was making him flustered.
"Ok, EH. I'll be off then, EH. Enjoy your day, EH!" Tim ran down the street thinking himself as a very cool kid for being so rude to some random guy dressed in a tri cornered hat and white wig! "Aw, this would be so much more fun if I brought a friend."
Most stores didn't interest Tim, because they were so much like any other store he would see in America, well except there was tones of French.
"Paul! Regardez le prix de ce chandail! Volonté vous l'achetez pour moi, OH si vous plait?" /Paul! Look at the price of that sweater! Will you buy it for me, OH please/ Some girl said to some guy. Tim listened trying to figure out what she was saying… Something about…Paul.
"Bien, si vous le voulez vraiment... le prix est bon sûr." /Well, if you really want it…the price is good. Sure./ The guy answered.
"OH Merci! Je t'aime!" /OH thank you! I love you/
She hugged and kissed the guy. Tim shook his head. All he got from that was… Paul and OH. And he must have asked her to like… marry him or something? Yeah, that was probably it. He was SO good at reading body language.
Sure was boring on Elgin street. Yep yep. Tim was so simply bored. He turned to some lady standing at a cross walk.
"Excuse me. Where is Bank Street?" He had recalled Bruce telling him he would like Bank Street.
"Pardon?" The woman asked.
"Bank Street?" He asked. "How do I get there?" She muttered something about Bank Street but he still could tell she didn't know what he was trying to ask. He racked his brain for French, "Erm….Ou…Est…Bank Street?" That sounded good.
"Oh! Oui, Vous misez le bloc trois qui manière." She smiled. Tim stared at her blankly. Dang, now she thought he could speak French. She pointed behind him, and then held up three fingers. "tois blocs."
"OH! Three blocks that way! Thank you! Um… Merci!"
"Votre Beinvenue!" She smiled and then crossed the street. Tim felt very smart now, having the skills to speak French. He just needed to like think about it and listen better and he could do it. Not too different from Italian which he could kind of speak.
"Finally, Bank Street," he smiled looking around. He was standing by a Wallacks art store and looked both ways, "which way to go? I suppose I'll just keep going this way." He still headed away from the parliament buildings. He noticed a Pita Pit and decided to stop in.
"Hello, what can I get ya?" the dude asked.
"Um… A Philly steak Pita!" Tim was craving something meaty and that sounded pretty darn good.
"Kay, that'll be like…$5.90." Tim handed him the $100 bill Bruce had given him- already made into Canadian currency of course. The guy looked at his bill and frowned. "We don't take $100 bills." He pointed to a sign that said: "We do not accept any bills higher then 50/ Nous n'acceptons aucune facture plus haut puis 50"
"The crap! Why not?"
"Not many places do, bud. Only the bank takes 100's. Ha-ha. Got anything smaller?"
"No! This is all I was given!" Tim pouted. "Can't you just cut me some slack? I'm not from this country!"
"We can't type in 100 on our till!" The guy explained. "Sorry, little dude." Tim sulked and left, pita-less. Stupid Canada - stupid Bruce, actually. He probably did it on purpose to sabotage his day! He'd show him. Spiders in his shoes! That's what he'd do! Big huge spiders in his shoes!
Tim continued down the street, passing like the fifth Shwarma place on that street. His attention was caught by some purple building. Tim raised his eyebrow.
"Wilde?" Judging by the rainbows and the things in the window…this was not his kind of store- but maybe Dick would get a kick out of it! Tim pulled out his camera and took a picture, making sure to get the mannequin with the stuffed leopard print Speedo in the shot. He'd mail this to Dick and explain that it reminded him of Dick when he saw it. Dick wasn't gay or anything… but making Dick angry was always fun! "I bet they have a Nightwing costume in there! Mwhaha!"
The next store had lingerie, and Tim was vaguely amused that the two stores were side by side. He bet the gay guys would go to Wilde, get their porno, then go to this store and buy lingerie for like…whatever they do? Tim decided he was surprisingly ignorant of homosexual activity- and would STAY that way for as long as possible.
He continued walking, asking random Canadians to take pictures with him, walked on his hands and chased pigeons (because Canadian pigeons seemed more friendly then Gotham ones). After his fifth pigeon chase he found himself in front of a comic book store.
"Oh my GOD!" the raven haired lad couldn't get into the store fast enough. He ran from bin to bin, and then to the action figure wall, then to the new releases of comic books. "AAAAH! I haven't been able to find this Megaman comic ANYWHERE in Gotham!" He screamed and then did a bit of a dance. "I LOVE Canada! Je suis amore de Canada!"
"Did you just say "I am love of Canada?" Some random chick said from beside him.
"…Yes…" Tim slowly walked away to the cash register. "Hey, bud. TELL me you take $100 bills."
"No…sorry."
"You Jerk! I'll KILL YOU!" Tim stomped his feet. "I NEED this comic! I am THAT much of a geek! I will break you're…" Tim looked for something to break and grabbed a shelf of Yu-Gi-Oh! Duel Monsters cards. "Your cards!"
"Sorry, there's nothing I can do."
"I HATE YOU SO MUCH!" Tim threw a card package at the man.
"It's not my fault!" He threw it back.
"It is SO! I hate Canada. They don't take 100's! I mean, do I look like a crook to you?"
"Well, you threatened to kill me, and break store property and you already assaulted me with cards…"
"I'll be back!" Tim threatened, leaving menacingly.
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Tim sat on the corner with his chin in his hands, pouting. The boy's thoughts were bitter, 'Bruce isn't stupid. Bruce knows that people don't take 100-dollar bills!' The boy smashed his hand into the pavement and shot people who passed dirty looks. 'When is Bruce getting back anyhow?'
Stomach rumbling Tim got to his feet. Well, he hadn't lived on the streets and learned nothing; he knew how to get food without paying. But wait… this was Canada. They might do something to American beggars. 'Wouldn't Bruce hate to bail me out? Oh man, I can see it now; the papers would have a day with this one: Billionaire's Boy Arrested for Begging!' Tim nodded, as he was proud of his alliteration in the title.
Well, it was Bruce's fault if Tim was arrested for begging. The boy rubbed his chin and then snapped his fingers, "It's perfect!" The boy began to run down the street, plan in action… almost.
To be continued…