Chapter 13: It Won't Be Mine
Note to all my loving reviewers: I love you guys so much. I'm so very happy to hear that you love what I'm writing. I'm trying my best. Just a few responses to all of you:
-I'll do my best on the fluff part
-The tube explanation is coming
-And I'll try and keep this story interesting!
Until next time folks, happy reading!
The next morning, Amanda woke to grey clouds in the sky, and a few flakes of pure, white snow. With a smile, Amanda watched the tiny spots float slowly to the ground, and then rose to face her day. Picking out a simple white, with long flowing sleeves, Amanda then brushed her hair and splashed some cool water on her face and into her mouth, swishing it around and spitting it out. Amanda stared at the small metal tube that was on her bed stand, and slipped it into her pocket. Leaving her room, Amanda walked down to Joseph's room to check on him.
"Come in," he called after she knocked. Amanda entered, and saw Joseph lying on his bed, watching the snow.
"How are you feeling?" Amanda asked. Joseph turned his eyes away from the window and looked at her.
"Much better, aside form the throbbing," he said, smiling his gentle smile. Amanda smiled back, and tucked her hair behind her ears.
"I think you might feel a bit better if you and I slowly walked downstairs and ate some breakfast," Amanda said. Joseph nodded and Amanda walked to his side to help him up.
"Why must we walk slowly?" he asked before rising.
"Because you sir have a head injury. If you take things to quickly, you could farther injure your already injured head. Just think of how stressed your mind is, knowing that it has a big hole in it," Amanda answered. Joseph laughed and stood. Amanda took his arm, and they walked down to breakfast.
"Well hello," said a voice when the two walked in to the room with the Round Table. Amanda looked up to smile, but instead gasped.
"You don't look very happy to see us Amanda," said Gawain. She let go of Joseph's arm and raced forward to see her little brother.
"Nicolarious!" she cried, embracing him.
"Hello Amanda," he said, not so enthusiastically. He hugged her back and smiled when she let go. Amanda took her seat and began to eat the breakfast that had been placed in front of her.
"What did you see while you were gone?" Galahad asked, with not such a thrilled look on his face because Joseph was sitting next to him. Amanda listened intently for a moment, but then realized that Arthur wasn't in the room with them.
"Where is Arthur?" Amanda asked when Nicolarious finished. Galahad raised his eyebrows for a minute, and then answered her.
"He said that if anyone asked, he wasn't around. I don't know where he went, that's just what he told me to tell anyone who asked," he answered. Amanda nodded, her brain eating up what Galahad had said.
Hmmm, gone from sight, Amanda thought, well, there are only a few places he could be. The library? No, to obvious for me. The throne room? No, too obvious for everyone else. His room? No, to common of a place. He wouldn't be out in the city, he's unescorted. Where could his Royal Highness be? Amanda finished her breakfast in a hurry, trying to think of where Arthur could be. She had to show him what she found in Joseph's hand last night. Amanda ran to the library, just to check. No Arthur there. She checked his room, the throne room, even the courtyard where he had brought her just the day before. Arthur, was no where to be found. Quitting on the search, Amanda walked to the library, feeling defeated. When she entered, she walked over to the fireplace, and sat in a new chair that had just arrived from Gaul. Sighing, and looking over to the windows, Amanda nearly died of a heart attack.
"Joseph," she said, hand at her neck, "you gave me such a start." Joseph was sitting in the chair next to her, smiling widely.
"I'm sorry Lady Amanda," he said. Amanda raised her eyebrow at him.
"Why do you insist on calling me that? I think we both know I am far from a lady," Amanda asked, running her hand through her hair.
"I beg to differ," said Joseph, "You are probably more lady like than anyone I've ever met in Rome. And you are by far the most gentle, caring, funny, sweet, kind, friendly, smart, prettiest girl on this island." Amanda felt herself go red, and she laughed a bit.
"Have you been running around and walking fast?" she asked, "Because I think that wound is causing your brain some trouble." Joseph laughed and patted Amanda on the arm.
"No, Lady Amanda," he replied, "I just think you're too stubborn to say anything good about yourself. Any one would tell you the same. Even Arthur would, and we both know that he is still in love with Guinevere." Amanda looked at him with a surprised look.
"How do you know that?" Amanda asked. Joseph simply smiled and didn't answer.
"Joseph," she said, "Where did you learn that?" Joseph looked away from her out the windows, and continued not to answer. Amanda sighed, knowing she wouldn't get anything out of the man. Her hand wandered to her pocket, fingering the small metal tube. Its cold body clashed with Amanda's slightly warmer fingertips.
"Do you like it here Lady Amanda?" Joseph's voice chimed in.
"No," Amanda said. Joseph turned and gave her a curious look, "I love it here." Which was the truth, Amanda couldn't think of anywhere else she would rather be, or live, or would want to die. Her thoughts wandered to her parents, and how they too loved this land. Her father always told her that he belonged to this land. The land owned him, he didn't own the land, and for her not to let anyone tell her different. Land doesn't need people, but the people need it. It is only God's kindness that allows us to use his wonderful creation, and use it wisely we must. Amanda smiled as she remembered her father lying on the ground, watching the clouds roll by. That's how she became so found of it. Sighing, Amanda called herself from her memories, knowing that if she lingered, what Arthur said would happen to her.
After hours of aimless talk between Joseph and Amanda, they left so Nicolarious and Gawain could have some privacy while teaching. The two parted after a hallway and a corridor, Joseph heading to rest, and Amanda to go to, well, just to walk. Amanda walked to the stables, on the far side of the palace, humming the song that Verona had sung at Gawain's celebration. Reaching the stables, Amanda broke out into quiet song.
Ye swords have carried thee far,
Hoping to go home,
To your heart and your love,
Weary you drag along.
Countless battles and countless lives,
Have been lost and won,
Yet thee has managed,
To earn his birth right.
Freedom alas,
Freedom alas,
Can you smell the sweet air?
Celebrate your freedom alas!
On and on she sung, brushing a white stallion as the sung went on. Finishing, Amanda sighed and pat the horse on the neck. Suddenly, the sound of clapping came from behind her, and Amanda spun around to see Arthur, Gawain, and Galahad standing there. Letting go of the breath she had been holding, Amanda turned back to the horse and continued to brush.
"Don't frighten me like that," Amanda said.
"What?" asked Galahad, "That frightened you?" She looked at him with a stern look and he laughed.
"It's not like we meant to," said Gawain with a sly smile on his face.
"Lovely song," said Galahad, "The voice of Arthur's supposed angles." Amanda giggled and looked at him.
"They are my supposed angles too," she said. Galahad nodded in agreement.
"None the less," said the rather silent Arthur, "You sing very well."
"Thank you," said Amanda with a smile. He gave her a weary smile back, and then looked away.
"Gawain," Amanda began, "Where did you leave my brother?"
"Oh, that pesky little thing?" said Gawain, his had rubbing his face, "Galahad left him in a tree."
"No I didn't!" cried Galahad.
"Yes you did!" accused Gawain. The two went on and on and eventually ran out of the stables to have a duel.
"Do you like that horse?" asked Arthur after a moment of quiet. Amanda looked up at him and nodded.
"It's very pretty," Amanda answered.
"It was Guinevere's," he answered. Amanda fell silent for a moment, and stared at Arthur, "She loved this horse from the moment she laid eyes on it." Putting down the brush, Amanda walked over to Arthur, who was staring at the horse, but lost in memories.
"Was it not you who told me not to live in my past?" Amanda asked, "I say this with a due respect. Arthur, do you know how many stories I've heard about how much you love Guinevere? Many, and no matter how hard I try to tell myself that you have gotten over her death, it is evident you haven't. Forgive me for being so blunt, I am only telling you what you told me." Amanda could see that for a moment, Arthur was angry, very angry, and Amanda began to regret what she had said.
"You're right," said Arthur sighing, "It's just that, she was my companion. I know what she did, every moment of every day. I know what she did with Lancelot, and yet I still love her. You are asking me to forget the one person I've ever really loved."
"No," Amanda protested, "that is exactly what I'm asking you not to do. I don't want you to forget her completely, just do, what was it you said, wallow in your past." Amanda placed her hand his shoulder, eyes searching his.
"Hey, we found Nicolarious," said Galahad from behind, "He's looking for you Amanda." Amanda turned away from Arthur and left the barn, going off to find Nicolarious, "He's in the courtyard!" Galahad called. Turning back to Arthur, Galahad walked over to him with a big smile.
"We all told you that you cared for her," said Galahad. Arthur looked at him, eyebrows raised.
"Oh yes, I remember, when I barely knew her," said Arthur, a bit sarcastically.
"Yep, but you still cared for her. Not as much as you do now, but I'm happy for you. It's time you found someone else to rule by your side instead of you being alone. She'll do you some good," said Galahad.
"No," said Arthur, "I won't be victim to all of this nonsense. I don't care for Amanda the way you think I do. And I never will. Guinevere was my wife, and God forbid if I ever find love again. But, if I do, it won't be in Amanda. And if I want to wallow in my past where Guinevere was, then so be it. I won't change, no one can make me. It was my past, no one else's." With that, Arthur left the stables angrily. Galahad sighed, and soon walked after him, slowly. Amanda walked back in, after hearing everything, and shook her head.
"You're right Your Majesty," Amanda whispered to herself, "If you do ever find love again, it won't be from me."
That's all for now folks, REVIEW!