Added note: This takes place just after the Aladdin episode "Fowl Weather" and is told entirely through Iago's first person viewpoint (though there ARE a couple of "third person" moments when he's berating himself)
I was just lying down minding my own business, reflecting on the events of the previous day. No matter how many ways I look at it, I STILL can't get over it. It all started out like a lot of days around here. Al got the urge to play Good Samaritan for somebody in trouble. In this case, the kid had volunteered us to help out a kid trying to water a few fig trees. Of course, the dryness and heat of the desert didn't help matters any and the underground spring the kid Al was trying to help said used to be there had dried out long ago.
When blue boy was doing his usual hocus-jokeus, I made a comment that gave Al the bright idea to take us on another lame-brained adventure to try to get rain for the fig trees. Before long, we arrived in the Rain Forest and my childhood flashbacks began. I recall my mother, Emilia, quite well. She was a lovely bird in both appearance and attitude. She looked a lot like me and my brother except that her wingtip feathers were purple and her tailfeathers were silver. Then, of course, there was the fact that she, obviously, looked older AND was female, but I digress.
Anyway, while I'm on the (shudder) thought of my brother, Othello, I have to say, it's partially because of HIM that I turned out as bad as I did. He looks (or looked; I thankfully haven't seen him in more than a decade) just like me except that HIS tail feathers were green, but he could be considered my evil genius twin, because he was both smarter and luckier than me and used it to full advantage (in fact, he was marginally worse than I was even back when I was with Jafar and I did a lot of stuff then that I'm far from proud of NOW most notably instigate a war just to corner a certain food market the less thought about that, the better). Oth beat me at absolutely everything growing up, got away with all of his pranks and schemes (and always getting ME blamed for them in the process).
Anyway, back to Mom. She tried her best to raise both of us on her own (I never knew Dad, because he, from all I've heard, flew out on Mom before Oth and I even hatched), but Oth was always her favorite because she never saw Oth's nastier side. The stinker was definitely smart enough to keep his flaws hidden from almost anybody but me, whom he LOVED to mentally torture. As I aforementioned, it was partially because of Oth that I ended up as bad as I did (I figured that, as long as I was going to get the blame anyway, I might as well actually DO what I was getting blamed FOR).
Okay, finally back to yesterday. Stupid flashbacks. Can't control them no matter how hard you try. Anyway, as I said; getting back to yesterday's adventure; before long, the gang ended up in the Rain Forest; specifically the Valley of ... Thundra. Dang it. I hope I didn't sound like a sap just there. For some reason, I can't even think the name without getting embarrassed. Of course, after a high-speed case of a rain cloud, we had our first face-to-face meeting with the owner of the valley.
Man alive. Green feathers, gold head-dress and medallion, gold tailfeathers with the rainbow... GET A GRIP, IAGO! I'll admit she was far from ugly, but I've seen female birds just as pretty as her and cast them off without a second thought once they served their purpose, even BEFORE I first met Jafar. So why is this one still on my mind? Okay, admittedly, most of the dames I've used and ditched don't have weather powers and I also usually had the option of heading for another city before they could get after me, but come on!
Anyway, man, did that bird have a short fuse. Okay, that I HALF-expected, but when she started flirting with me... I have to admit that I was caught REALLY off-guard. Worse yet, when I told the others about that, Al got the bright idea of using me to charm the rainbird into providing some rain for that kid we were trying to help. Arrrgh. Then he and the monkey suckered me into it by playing upon my ego. I still don't know whether to thank them or come up with some nasty (but not TOO nasty) trick in payback. Dang it! Why is even HALF of me considering thanking him?
Before my thoughts were interrupted again by side-thoughts, I did, indeed, try feeding her a ton of phoney-baloney romantic stuff and, even though it was half working, she still wouldn't bite on the downpouring the rain part. So, the kid and blue boy get the idea to steal a raincloud while I was distracting her. I STILL don't get what came over me when I actually kissed Thundra. That WAS meant to just keep her attention on me, but ... arrggh. After that kiss, I've, I don't know. I just; as embarrassed as I am to admit it; actually developed a measure of legitimate affection for her.
Once the others had the cloud, I was gone, but some of my thoughts stayed there (only SOME though; give me some credit). Then, when that magical blue bozo released the rain cloud inside the palace I was REALLY reminded of her. Even when I saw her arriving in Agrabah with a small army of storm clouds at her back and she was clearly intent on zapping me into obilivion, I couldn't bring myself to stay away (no matter HOW HARD I tried). Somehow, I found the courage to fly against the wind and try to talk to her.
The weirdest part wasn't that she calmed down a bit after I simply apologized (though that DID catch me by surprise). No, the strangest past was that even after I fessed up about how the romantic stuff I was feeding her before was baloney and ... yuck ... told her that the kiss was "'kind of fun. I mean, if you go for that sort of thing'", she still liked me! I can't believe it. Me ... an ex-villain's sidekick with a rap sheet that could stretch from Agrabah to every other kingdom in the Seven Deserts and then back TO Agrabah. Arrrgh! For crying out loud! KNOCK IT OFF, IAGO!
Anyway, I've used and dumped a lot of dames in my time, but before then, Oth stole the only female bird I've ever really loved (like the "war instigating" thing, the less that's thought about that, the better), which taught me my lesson concerning love; don't waste time on it. Okay, admittedly, my conscience has been very gradually getting stronger ever since I started making friends with Al, but not THAT much stronger. And it's also true that Thundra's the first dame I've tried making time with; even as a ruse; since befriending the kid (unless you count the one time when Mechanicles and Abis Mal got me with that "'mood stone'" and I, under the spell of that stone, tried to make a play for the Princess once more, the less thought about that, the better), but just the same, what's come over me?
What was it anyway? Could my time with Al be having a bigger influence than I am caring to admit? Does she just remind me of how I could have turned out if I had gotten some better breaks? Is it the fact that she was, despite her temper, the first female bird to actually still like me even after finding out about my true nature? Is it a combination of all three?
Anyway, whatever the reason, Al promised to keep my secret about "the mushy stuff", but I STILL don't know about Genie. I know he and the monkey are going to tease me mercilessly about it for a long time to come, but there's nothing I can do about that but have the decency to be embarrassed. Anyway, as usual, we succeeded in our mission and the adventure was a success (after a fashion), but one thing's for certain; I don't know if I'll ever consider this one "'just another adventure'".
As aforementioned, all mentioned canon characters are copyrighted by Disney, so I had absolutely no profit motive off this story. The "Othello" stuff was inspired by a sleep-talking line Iago made in "the Vapor Chase" (i.e. what if he really DID have an evil twin brother by that name?). If you don't like this story, I respectfully and profusely apologize for wasting your time.