Chapter 15: Revealed Pain

Disclaimer: I forgot to add, that y'all can't use my characters or storyline without asking the head honcho of this operation (which would of course be me) first. Sorry.

Sorry I left you guys with such an awful cliff hanger, and I've decided to leave you hanging no longer. I have delivered to you, and new chapter, which I hope will content you. Or it could just leave you aching for more. We'll see:)

When Amanda saw Arthur standing there, she could simply stare into his eyes. Never had she seen the look in his eyes. It pierced right through her soul, and burned her insides to ashes. His green eyes had a hurt look in them, almost defeated. After a few long moments of the two staring at each other, Amanda pulled away from a confused Joseph, and Arthur turned to walk away, apologizing as he left. Shoving Joseph's arms off her, Amanda went after Arthur, grabbing his arm.

"Arthur," said Amanda to Arthur, who wasn't turning to face her, "Arthur please, it's not what it looked liked. Please look at me." Arthur spun around, the same defeated look in his eyes.

"Please forgive me for intruding," said Arthur simply, "I meant no harm. Please excuse me." Arthur took her hand off his arm and walked away, leaving Amanda there alone, shocked and angry with herself, for letting such a foolish thing happen.

"Amanda," said Joseph from behind her "Is everything alright?" Amanda hung her head, and then answered Joseph.

"No Joseph," she answered, "Everything is in fact all wrong. You're a wonderful man, but I didn't intend for that to happen. I didn't want you to kiss me." Amanda turned around to see an angry Joseph.

"You kiss me and then you chase after some other man, and then you tell me you don't want me? What the hell is the matter with you?" cried Joseph. Amanda shook her head, and looked him in the eye.

"There isn't something wrong with me Joseph, it's someone," Amanda answered, and walked away to her room, where she collapsed on her bed. Rubbing her head, and closing her eyes, all she could see was Arthur. His hurting, defeated eyes, and solemn face.

"God," said Amanda, "forgive me for my sins. I should not have kissed a man who is not my husband. Especially a man who I don't love and care for. Amen." Rolling over onto her side, Amanda gazed out her window, watching snow fall, and tried to fall asleep. A nap would do her good after all these insane events. Closing her eyes, Amanda rested her head on her arms, trying to erase Arthur's eyes from her mind.

The next few days past, and Amanda did things in silence. She was being ignored by two of her dearest friends. Or one of her dearest friends, and the other that was no longer her friend. Galahad had left, wishing to explore the country, and Gawain, and Nicolarious had gone with him. On one of these remorseful, regretting days, Amanda was in the library, admiring all of the shelves that now had books occupying them. Stopping when she saw one entitled the Iliad; Amanda smiled and took it off the shelf. This book was one of the first she ever read, written by Homer, but she never finished it. Amanda took a seat by the windows, sort of hidden behind the shelves and book cases, Amanda opened the book and began to read.

"Refresh my memory Homer," she whispered to herself. After but a few moments of reading, Amanda heard the library door open. She didn't think much of it, until the few people who entered started having a conversation.

"Your Majesty," said someone, "I advise you to turn the girl out of the palace before I take matters into my own hands. The girl is obviously distracting you, anyone could see it with plain eyes."

"No Gurshion," said Arthur's deep voice, "don't start this. You know exactly why I took Amanda and Nicolarious in, and I do not plan to turn them out. They can only leave here when they wish too, not when you decide the time is best. You are not king of this country."

"No but I am your advisor," argued Gurshion.

"And I do not have to take your advice. I can remove you from my council if that is what you wish!" Arthur retorted, slamming his fist against a table.

"I would never wish that sire," said Gurshion, slightly cooled but with an authoritive tone, "I am simply advising you in the best interest of you."

"No you're not," said Arthur. Amanda heard Arthur walk towards the door, and leave the room. Shortly after, Gurshion left, leaving Amanda in a shocked, angry state.

Wonderful, she thought, this whole palace is out to get me. Who next? Nicolarious? Amanda put down her book, trying to calm herself from the arguing she had just heard. Getting up and leaving, Amanda rushed about the palace to find Arthur. Finally going to the throne room, Amanda entered and accidentally barged into a meeting Arthur was having with Gawain, Galahad and Bors.

"Oh," she said, feeling the blood rush to her face, "forgive me, I didn't know."

"Amanda!" said someone behind her. Amanda turned to see Nicolarious there, a broad smile across his face.

"Nicolarious!" she said, going over to her brother and embracing him. When she released him, Amanda noticed that he was now as tall as her.

"He was a wonderful student," said Gawain. Amanda turned and smiled, her eyes darting toward Arthur, who wasn't looking at her, but instead was pouring over some maps laid out on a table.

"Well," said Amanda, "I'll let you get back to your work."

"Who or what were you looking for?" Arthur asked her, his back turned away from her.

"Uh," Amanda began, "well, you, but it can wait." Amanda turned and left, her brother by her side.

"So, what did I miss while I was gone?" Nicolarious asked while the siblings walked back to their rooms.

"Nothing much," Amanda lied.

"You can't lie to me Amanda," said Nicolarious, "I know there is something wrong. I felt it in the throne room just now." Amanda gave him a shocked look, but swiftly turned it into a playful grin.

"What sort of corruption did Galahad and Gawain plant into your mind?" Amanda joked.

"Amanda," said Nicolarious seriously, "honestly, what happened between you and Arthur?" Silenced by his tone of voice, Amanda looked at the floor, and searched for an answer.

"Nothing Nicolarious," answered Amanda, "and don't pester me about it again. If God intends for you to know, it will be unveiled in time, but not now, and not by me." With that Amanda separated herself from her brother, instantly regretting everything she had said to him. Sighing and shaking it off, reminding herself that the two have said worse things to each other, Amanda continued back to her room, where she found herself examining the metal tube that she had found in Josephs hand.

"I think it's time to reveal your secrets Joseph," Amanda said to herself as she began to unscrew the metal tube. Lifting of the top half, Amanda saw that inside, there was a small piece of paper. Amazed at the fact that a piece of paper could fit inside of a tube so small, Amanda removed the piece of paper and began to unroll it.

"Amanda," someone called at her door, causing her to jump.

"Yes?" she asked.

"It's Gawain," he said, "We need to talk." Amanda quickly put the tube and paper into her pocket and walked over to her door. Opening it, she saw a frustrated Gawain standing in her doorway.

"What is it Gawain?" Amanda asked, immediately concerned.

"It's you," he said coming into her room and closing the door behind him, "Why didn't you tell Nicolarious what happened between you and Joseph?"

"What? I can't be in my room for more then ten minutes, and have you be home for more then an hour before you all come beating down my door asking about my personal business?" Amanda asked, rather angrily.

"That's not what I am concerned about Amanda," Gawain said, "It's the fact that you refused to tell Nicolarious about what happened."

"The boy hasn't been home for days! You expect me to just come out and tell him that I was kissed by Joseph, and Arthur saw us, and now he hates me? Have you all gone mad?" Amanda cried, tears brimming in her eyes. How could this be happening? How could the knights already be pestering her about something that wasn't meant to happen? "Who told you anyway?" Amanda asked, far quieter than before.

"Arthur," answered Gawain, "And then I saw Nicolarious who told me you were upset about something but you wouldn't tell him. Amanda, far too many times have I seen two people be ripped apart from each other when they don't communicate. I would hate to see that happen to you and Nicolarious, when the both of you love each other so much."

"Oh really," said Amanda irritated, "You give me one good example and I'll believe you." Gawain sighed and sat down on her bed.

"Arthur and Guinevere," Gawain answered. With those three words Amanda could have passed out.

"No," Amanda said, "you're just saying that so I'll believe you."

"I wish I were, but I'm not," Gawain said. Amanda took a seat beside him, and looked into his serious eyes.

"How is that even possible?" Amanda asked.

"She fell out of love with him. She devoted all her time thinking about her lost Lancelot that she wasn't happy. Arthur felt pain far before Guinevere died; her death was just a scapegoat for him to show some emotion. Never had I seen such a great King torn into so many pieces," answered Gawain. Amanda sat there next to him, silenced by his words, thinking about her own pains.

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