Negative
Chapter Eight - The Stampede
"Why is it all wet?"
"Because there's a huge hole in the ceiling you dumbass."
"... So why is it raining?"
"Shut up."
So much for Nosgoth's past, huh? Yup, we're in the future. And my stomach hurts. We walk out and we get attacked by a bazillion monsters. Nightcrawler, Beatrix and Raziel seemed to be handling themselves well. Until MORE came. It was getting worse. And worse. I screamed up to the sky again.
"SIS! NOW'S A GOOD TIME TO BRING IN MORE PEOPLE!"
Go figure... nobody appeared. I glared.
"THEN AT LEAST SOME GOOD MUSIC."
That was enough prompting. Before we knew it "Battle Without Honor or Humanity" by Tomoyasu Hotei (AKA The badass theme in Kill Bill when The Crazy 88's walk into the House of Blue Leaves) boomed throughout the Stronghold. Everybody was kicking ass while me and Miku just... walked around and tried not to get killed. After all the guys were dead everybody rushed over to us.
"What is that noise" Raziel screamed over the booming music.
"It's music" I yelled.
"WHAT"
"IT'S MUSIC"
"IT'S TOO LOUD"
"UGH! SIS! TURN OFF THE DAMN SONG! EMO-MAN GOING TO HAVE A BRAIN HEMMORHAGE AND THEN CRY ABOUT IT! AND YOU KNOW WE DON'T WANT THAT FUCKING SHIT!"
I screamed that part just as the song ended. Raziel wanted to punch me. Beatrix wiped the green blood off the Hanzo sword and we started walking around again. And there was more fights... and more ghosts appeared... and Miku killed them. Yeah, this was getting boring. We open a door and we see A statue of Moebius holding up Vorador's head. I kinda gagged at that, covered my nose, and then rushed out of the place while Raziel stared at it and began to talk to himself. Just about all of us dubbed him as "Weird Mother Fucker" then and walked out. And it was a good thing we did because two monsters jumped out and attacked him. Naturally we ran for cover... and ended up in a sealed up room.
"Whew, no demons this time." Miku said with a sigh.
"Ra-Razi-el..."
I recognized the voice, wheeled around and gave a loud, ear-bursting scream that last for about 30 seconds, which to me and everybody around me was a pretty fucking long time. When I stopped I noticed it was a ghost of Moebius and I waved at him.
"Thank you... thank you for the long, well earned scream you fucking jerk." I snapped.
"I am truly sorry. I thought Raziel would have been with you." he said. I rubbed my throat and eyed him up and down.
"Well, looks like you've been dead for some time now. Guess that means we won't be making out anytime soon." I said. He hung his head in sorry.
"Unfortunately not." He said. I sighed with sympathy and moved my hair off of my chest and shoulders.
"Well babe, since we won't be making out anymore and you're a ghost, guess that means you can pass through stuff." I stuck out my chest. "Stick your head in, take a nice long look, and then live the rest of your unlife as a happy, horny old man."
Beatrix was going to sock me in the back of the head, but was stopped as Miku moved in and took a picture of Moebius with her Ghost-killing Camera. Moebius yelled out in pain, which was obviously the idea for Miku's sake as she lowered the camera. Raziel burst in and saw Moebius and the two started talking about boring stuff that nobody really listened to because nobody cared. I looked at Nightcrawler and nodded, and he teleported me, Beatrix and Miku out of the Stronghold and back to that cliff that we all were that one time. Then he teleported us to the top of the cliff and over that big gap, so we were left to walk. It was cool though. Those things that popped out seemed to always go for Raziel anyway so they didn't bug us.
Now things were getting boring. We continued to walk... and everything was quiet. Not one damn person said a word. Not one word. Not one GODDAMNED FUCKING WORD. Then out of nowhere... I started to sing.
"I've got a lovely bunch of coconuts, dee dee dee dee, there they are a standing in a row." I started off. Obviously bored to death, Nightcrawler chimed in.
"Big ones, small ones, some as big as your head..." I laughed and we both started to sing.
"Give them a twist, a flick of the wrist, That's what the showman said" we both laughed.
Beatrix and Miku gave us the oddest looks I've ever seen in my life. Finally The Bride placed her hand on Miku's should and gently moved her asside, her hand on her Hanzo sword.
"Stand back dear, I'm going to kill them." She said. Miku held her arm.
"No thanks, I'll do that honor myself..." she said. I glared at the both of 'em.
"Come on! We haven't been fighting, there's nothing to do, it's raining, and I have an idea as to where we're supposed to go before we'll need Raziel again. Bare with me." I stated.
Everybody shut up and continued to walk. For some reason... I think walking around was more interesting then watching Raziel talk about stuff all the time. Yeah, everybody would probably miss out on important stuff, but hell. Raziel is weird and boring. Why waste eight hours of gameplay with TALK? So, we walk by that river thing... then we go over the bridge... it's still raining. Go to that one spot where that bitch stabbed me, we go up the stairs, over the bridge, keep walking. I'm lacking in description, I know. What's there to describe? I don't know. Alrighty then. YAY! WE GOT SOMEWHERE! We're infront of the gate that seals up the pillars. And we all stare at it.
"Dead end?" Beatrix asked. I shook my head.
"Close but no cigar. Once we get in, we'll probably have to wait for Emo-Man at some time." I said.
"So how do we get in?" Miku asked.
I pointed at the lever. "Hey Nightcrawler, pull that will ya? And hold onto it."
He nodded, teleported to it, and then pulled the lever. The things holding the doors shut slid out and the doors opened. We all moved towards it and saw those once really huge ass pillars all broken and shit. So we go strolling in and we see the second most emo character in this game, Miss Ariel. This was probably the only character besides the other big blue man that Raziel was nice to, when he wasn't pissing her off. She was talking to herself about stuff we all didn't bother to listen to because we're all so cool like that, and Miku even took a picture of her which was enough to piss the ghost off more and start bitching. I put my hand on the camera, looked at the redhead and shook my head. She shrugged and lowered the camera. Then Nightcrawler teleports onto the cliff while Ariel yells at us about something that we all didn't listen to and we reach the dead end where the dude with the wings is on the door.
"And this is where we wait for Emo-Man." I said. Beatrix sat down on the wet ground and the others copied.
"So now what" Miku asked.
"Now's the time where we contemplate what would be better, a perverted monk in the scene that we can all kill, or a hippie that can take a good ass kickin." I said. They all rose an eyebrow.
"Are you going to bring in another character" Beatrix asked. I smirked.
"Hell yeah, the lot of you guys are boring as shit, we need somebody fun." I said, then looked up at the sky. "Hey Sis, who should we bring in this time? Miroku or Vash? You pick"
My sister is worse than an obsessive Yaoi Fangirl. It took her at least an hour to decide who the hell to bring in. Was it going to be the lustful monk or the fuckable hippie? She was probably deciding on looks most of the time. And after her time was up, we heard int he distance a loud but hilarious laughter as Vash the Stampede came charging in.
"AAAAHHHCHACHACHA! GHOST! A GHOST!" he screamed and then tripped, fallign face first infront of us. We all rose an eyebrow.
"We've died and gone to hell." Nightcrawler said with his arms crossed and his head lowered in disappointment.
Vash stood up and did a million Super-Man poses. "HAHA! Fear not, I am the mighty, the powerful, and the insanely handsome Vash the Stampede! I fear nothing! Not the rain! Not the ghost! Not the scary blue guy who condemned us to hell."
NIghtcrawler hung his head in stupidity.
"Vash the Stampede...? Where are you from?" Miku asked.
It was then when Vash's eyes widened. He gave a long stare at Miku as if he was Pokemon's Brock staring at a porn star. There was sparkles, and bright colors, and Miku giving a confused face. Then Vash's face turned pink and he came zooming in and wrapped an arm around her waist, then dipping her back like they were dancing. Miku gave a big WTF face and Beatrix hung her head along with Nightcrawler.
"Oh, beautiful girl! Where have you been my entire life? I have never seen somebody as pretty as you!" Vash went harping on and on while Miku went... wtf.
It didn't take long until we heard Emo-Man's voice and Ariel screaming at him. After awhile he appeared out of nowhere and Vash literally screamed at the top of his lungs and jumped behind Beatrix at the mere sight of Raziel. We all gave our classic v v faces and Raziel walked over to the door and opened it up. We all walked in… except for Vash, who was too scared and confused to make a move.
"Uhhh… what's going on?" he whimpered, looking around, then saw us. "Hey! Where are you going? Why are you leaving me? Heey! Beautiful girl! Who's the monster?"
Suddenly the doors began to close. Vash gave a yell then went rocketing into the place, narrowly missing the doors as they closed behind him. We all stared at him as he fell flat on his face. Raziel, utterly peeved, turned his head slowly towards me, obviously wanting to rip my head off. I gave a chuckle, scratched my head like Wolfwood would do, then walked on. Vash went running over towards Miku and Beatrix, trying to play pimp again. Nightcrawler was walking by Raziel. I passed those spring things with the pasty mud and shuddered at the memory of our last… meeting? Ugh. Muddy enema. Sick.
So we kept walking. Yup. The only thing we heard was Vash talking on and on about the good old lovely things Vash would talk about while Miku turned seven different shades of pink and Beatrix rolled her eyes. Nightcrawler was actually amused with what the guy had to say. Raziel was most likely debating wheither he should kill me or the Stampede.
And I'm gonna be a whore and leave you with a cliffhanger 'cause this chapter is too long. kthxandbai