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Chapter Ten - AHH-CHAAAAA!

"Oh the weather outside is frightful, Beatrix and Nightcrawler ain't delightful, and since Vash can't get Miku to blow, our dumbasses are stuck in the snoooow."

Yup, we were in the past, and it was snowing. Good news was that Raziel wasn't anywhere in sight and probably wouldn't be for a couple hours. Now here was the climax: I'm hungry, and I'm curious. So what do I choose? Go back into the mountains where we found that big swimming pool, or go to the Sarafan Stronghold and bum Moebius for food? I have to admit, I wasn't sure myself and had to think about it for about... 4 seconds. Then I decided to just head on over to Moebius's place. Who knows, maybe something good would happen. NIghtcrawler did the WOOSH thing and we appeared inside of the place, and then started stomping around.

"YO! MOEBIO! GET YOUR DUMB ASS OUT HERE! I'M HUNGRY!" i shouted.

"Wow... I never saw this place before... wonder if they got any donuts..." Vash said. Beatrix hung her head.

"Why are we visiting this old lizard? I don't like him and all you're going to do is make out with him." she said. I shrugged.

"At least we're away from the emo blue bitch, right? MOEBIUS! COME OUT!" I snapped.

We walked around the place for about an hour. NIghtcrawler did that "I'm Human" look thing so the guards didn't go "ick" when they saw him. They did seem confused to see all of us though, but everytime they gave us a weird look, I busted out into very loud Nirvana music, which happened to contain the lines "I'm so ugly but that's okay 'cause so are you". So after having a million angry looks they decided to report us to the Moe. We weren't really "arrested" as we were still free to do what we wanted but the way they "assisted" us to Moebius seemed very awkward. From the look on Beatrix I think she was conscidering killing him. Vash was hugging Miku really tightly. Miku was making a weird face. And Nightcrawler seemed just as hungry as I was. We were lead up to Moe's chamber, and he seemed to remember us very well. And he was with seven really ugly looking guys in weird armor.

"YOU!" I shouted, pointing at Moebius. He blinked, then shook his head.

"Running off without your little friend again?" he said with some disappointment in his tone.

"Duh, the guy's gonna put me to sleep. Now even more IMPORTANT question! Where do you keep your weed at?" I snapped.

Moebius blinked in confusion. Beatrix punched me in the back of the head. I rubbed it, sighed, then asked again.

"Where do you keep your FOOD at?"

Moebius gave a nod to all of the soldiers in the room except for one who had a really long stick with a blade, and they all left. Then he gestured his hand to me and walked into another room. I of course followed. MOebius then turned to the dude before shutting the doors.

"Malek, be sure to serve their needs." he said, the dude nodded. I forgot that guy was Malek. This game sucks so much cock it's hard to remember some of the shit.

We walked into Moebius's room. I sat down on a chair and he opened up a tray that had a bunch of apples and chicken and shit. Naturally I dug in. He seemed to be very fond on the wine himself. After chowing down on the first tray I stole his bottle of wine and slammed that. And I was STILL hungry.

"Man that's all you have? What's wrong with you, dude? Don't you ever EAT?" I snapped, then yelled at the door. "HEY ASSHOLE! GET MORE FOOD!" MOebius shook his head.

"Women in your world sure eat a lot." he said. I nodded after drinking another bottle of wine.

"Hell yeah they do, and some of them have the money to get the fat and shit sucked out of 'em." I said. MOebius kind of... shuddered at that.

"Isn't that... a mutilation of some sort?" he questioned after taking another sip of wine. I rose an eyebrow and nodded.

"Yeah some sort if you think sticking a tube in your ass and pumping out all of this gross shit out to make you look all bruised up and skinny is a mutilation... sometimes it works for hte better, sometimes it works for the worse... I ain't getting it done so I'm not concerning myself with that bullshit." I replied. Moebius nodded very slowly and we both drank the wine.

When Malek brought in more food Moe and I started to chow down some more. Malek also decided to bring in a lot more wine.That wasn't a bad thing, I love wine. I'd drink wine like it was water if I could. Why am I telling you this? I don't know. So anyways Moe and I are getting drunk as fuck. Then I ask him if he has any cigars, just curious if they actually have any in Nosgoth. To my surprise, they do, but it wasn't made of tobacco. Yes, it was made of weed. Probably would explain how they knew what I was talking about. Of course after smoking THAT I got even MORE hungry and ate down two more plates. Moebius just seemed to stare in shock. By the end of "dinner" I was laying back against the chair with my pants unzipped and rubbing my stomach while trying to blink away my bloodshot eyes.

"Dude... that was bomb..." I said, then burped. Moebius nodded.

"Indeed... I suppose you left Raziel to himself in the future...?" he said. I very slightly nodded.

"Yeah man, you already asked that question." I said.

"Ah. Well I think it's safe to tell you that you're adventure is almost completed and you will be leaving for your home in-"

He didn't get to finish that sentence. I walked over to him, tripped, and fell on my face. He gave a WTF face. I stood up, gave a really stupid stoner laugh, then made out with him. Then he made out with me. Then he had me up against the wall with his hood and shirt off. By the end of the hour, we were both lying naked in bed drinking a lot of wine with stained sheets and clothing thrown everywhere.

"I just lost my virginity to a video game character. How pathetic is THAT?" I announced. Moebius laughed.

"Quite a story to tell your friends at home, I assume." Moebius replied.

"Don't worry, for all I know that stupid sister of mine she'll say that my grandpa was Michael Jackson and decided to cop a feel when I went running in my thong for National Streaker Day. More believable."

"Whatever pleases you, lady."

"In that case I'm jumping back on you 'cause even for an old bastard that cock works wonders."

And I'm too lazy to add anything else so I'll just enjoy leaving you with this part of my story, just so you all can read it and be weirded out.

PS: Griz is sexy. :P