Negative

Chapter Eleven - Yay, Janos

So after sobering up and putting my pants back on I figured that since there's only a little more I have to go before getting my ass out of this game, I might as well finish the plot. So, Moebius gave me some pointers. Remember the ugly guys from before? They needed to find out where this one guy named Janos lives so they can all do whatever they do. Another thing was that it was cold and I did look like an outsider (he was saying this to me and not to Beatrix and them 'cause he knew they wouldn't mind killing him right on the spot). It pretty much meant put on a Nosgoth chick's outfit and cut my hair.

"Okay, you want ME to cut my HAIR. That's what you're saying, right?" I said.

"Well, yes. If you don't want to look suspcious." he replied.

"Does it look like I care if I look suspcious?"

"Would you care about keeping your hair that length?"

"Not at all."

"Why are we arguing?"

"Because I hate you."

"I see."

"Gimme the damn scissors."

So when I got out of the bedroom I had boyishly cut anime-ish spiky hair, and some guy's pants and shirt. Nobody really cared about it. Moebius tried to talk Miku into dressing more appropriately (no weapons on her, right?). She kicked him. So then those ugly guys came back and we all held on to Nightcrawler. He did the woosh thing and we appeared next to the swimming pool place again, only it was frozen. I picked up a snowball and chucked it right into one of the ugly guys' faces. They were pissed.

"So... we gotta go all the way up there, huh?" I said.

"Can't your friend do that odd technique once more?" the ugly guy asked. I gave a blank face.

"Yeah genius... he CAN. I was savioring and marveling at the height of the piece of shit. Thank you very much for spoiling it, fucker."

He didn't like that. But before he could bitch we saw this blue guy look down at us. I waved. He walked away. Then one of the other ugly guys said something around the lines of "There's that devil!". And then Pacman flew by. So after we all went vv, we held onto Nightcrawler and he did the woosh thing. Then we were up in that place, but that guy ran away.

"Look at this mess, the fuck is the world coming to?" I snapped.

Vash blinked. "Any donuts in here...?" he asked and started to go through the cupboards.

"He's a vampire you idiot, he doesn't eat donuts." Beatrix snapped. Then one of the ugly guys sat next to her.

"Beautiful woman, I have never laid eyes on a girl with such beauty as-"

"Would you like to keep your eyes or do you want me to pluck them out for you?"

He got up and walked away. Beatrix laughed. Miku looked around the place.

"Why does he live all the way up here?" she asked.

"So fags like these idiots dont' try to kill him, obviously." was my response. Vash darted in.

"We are NOT killing anybody! Nobody has the right to take the life of anot-"

BANG!

Vash fell down on the ground with a pellet mark on his back as his gun smoked from my hand. Shoudld've figured he'd carry rubber bullets in his gun. He looked up and started to cry.

"Why did you have to shoot me from so up clooooooose? That stiiiiiiings!" he cried.

So we all pretty much took over Janos's house. And then Beatrix opens up one of the things, and sees The Soul Reaver. She picks it up and fucking drops it 'cause it weighs a ton. I don't know how those ugly guys could carry it but they managed to. I think that's what made the blue man come running in.

"You can't have the sword! It was not forged for you!" he shouted... or something similar to that.

"Yeah yeah just up blue guy we're going." I snapped and turned around.

"not... quite..." the ugly guys said. We all froze... except for me.

"Yes quite, get your blue ass over her Nightcrawler we're leaving." I said, then I heard some guy scream. I turned around and saw Janos get thrown down on the floor with the ugly guy ontop of him. "Jesus Christ, first they rob him and now they're RAPING him?"

Beatrix responded by running over and kicking the ugly guy in his face. Then the other ugly guy who was hitting on her shouted something along the lines of TREASON and tried to stab her. She cut his weapon in half with the hanzo sword and plucked out one of his eyes. I laughed. THen I saw Moebius's staff thing. I looked at it.

"Hmm... what does this thing do?" then it started to glow and Janos was paralyzed on the floor.

MIku blinked. "I don't think it helped him any..." she stated.

Vash jumped in and tried to drag him away but he forgot that he didn't have his gun so he got punched. Nightcrawler started to beat everyone's ass along with Bea. And... the rest of us just watched. Then I threw that staff thing in the water 'cause it looked really gay. Janos wasn't paralyzed anymore and he took back the reaver.

"What are you doing here? Why did you bring them?" he cried. I blinked.

"Obviously I wanna fucking go HOME." I snapped. he looked confused but I didn't care, I looked around. "You got any food?"

Suddenly Raziel drug his big ass into the room and started screamin and then he and Janos started talking about something that was really boring and then the ugly guy jumped up and cut open Janos' chest just as Raziel disappeared. And... we kind of disappeared with him, 'cause we're dumb like that. So Raziel now had to solve a great big puzzle to save Janos but pretty much spent most of the time talking to himself.

And... that's as much as I'm gonna tell you 'cause I'm hungry.