Standard Disclaimer. I do not own FFX or the characters in it. They are owned by Square-Enix. I do own this story, and my original characters. The song "Seven Wonders" was written by Sandy Stewart and Stevie Nicks, performed by Fleetwood Mac, and I don't own it, either. The title of the chapter is from a song originally performed by Joni Mitchell.
If Auron was sharper with his fellow guardians the next day on the Thunder Plains, no one noticed or, no one dared to comment. But then, no one would. It certainly may have contributed to his attitude toward Rikku's endless whining. He could not admit, even to himself, that he was secretly relieved when she begged to be allowed to rest in the Travel Agency.
In the privacy of his room, he let the contents of the tokkuri lull him into letting his guard down, again. It allowed him to lower the barrier between his waking mind, and the memories of Zanarkand he held deep in his heart.
…Zanarkand…five years ago…
Auron remembered sleeping little that night in Zanarkand, and practically cutting his own throat shaving that morning, mostly from distraction. He had immediately resolved that his workout that day would be conducted unarmed, as distraction and sharp edged weapons did not mix well.
He would have been gratified to know that Mercy had not fared much better. She slept 'like the dead', a full day's work capped by an evening's performance guaranteed it, but her normal sennight's end routine had been conducted through a haze of distraction as well.
In the late afternoon she found herself standing in front of the closet in the spare room where she kept her stage clothes, searching for the right outfit for the evening's performance, and muttering under her breath, "What to wear…what to wear…" as her hands shuffled the hangers over and over again through the same selection of brightly colored tunics.
My shirts won't magically transform no matter how many times I go through them. I'd better start with the easy stuff and work my way up. She grabbed a pair of black spandex tights from a drawer and shimmied into them. Her shoes still lay where she'd left them the night before, she scooped them up and laced them on, taking some care with the lacing, since the sandals consisted mostly of leather strings, which wove around her calves and tied behind her knees. Once upon a time, someone told me a man would come back from the dead to watch me untie these shoes…I wonder if that's still true.
She held her robe up to her waist, so she could see herself in the mirror from the waist down. These black tights make my legs look longer, don't they? I sure hope so. I wish I were taller than five four. She glanced at the clock, and let the robe fall. Damn, I'm running out of time, I've still got to pick out a shirt. Why am I so edgy? This shouldn't be any different from any other night. Yeah, right.
She looked into the closet again, and started rejecting whole categories out of hand. No white, I wore a white shirt last night. No black, too somber. No long sleeves tonight, it's spring, and I just don't feel like doing long sleeves.
From the remaining items, she began pulling shirts out at random. No, that one's too dark. No way, the neckline on that one is practically up around my ears. Not tonight, that one is just too…electric. That one has too many beads. Good grief, that's cut so low, I think I'd fall out! No, that one just doesn't have enough sparkle to it. She rejected one tunic after another.
She finally found one she liked; crimson, sleeveless, beaded, low-cut, but not the lowest…it just seemed…perfect. After she dressed she looked in the mirror and realized why she'd chosen this shirt…it matched the man's coat…damn…too late to change again now…rang in her head as she heard the alarm sound which meant that she needed to leave to meet Dafydd for dinner. She grabbed a light jacket, closed it over her top, picked up her bag, her case with her stage makeup, and practically ran out the door.
She saw her brother walking toward her on the street just outside their usual Embarcadero dinner place. He looked just the way he always did. Average height, slim and wiry, light brown hair, blue-gray eyes, with a sweet, open face. And his clear tenor blended so well with her smoky alto, but she really wished she could get him to sing more solos. They were sibs, but by adoption, so there was no family resemblance, but they had been looking out for each other for a very long time. Tonight at dinner, she was even less hungry than normal, but he decided it would be best if he didn't comment on anything just yet.
They arrived at the club at seven and signed up for one of their usual slots, which should put them onstage around ten. This was an 'open mic' so the exact time they went on would depend on how many acts signed up, and how many songs the manager allowed each performer. Auron arrived at quarter past eight, and saw 'Mercy' listed on the board next to the stage. He found a table in the second row that afforded him an excellent view, and settled down to wait. During a break between acts, the waiter gave him a hand-written menu. He was pleased to note that this establishment served beer, as the 'coffee' the previous evening had been almost undrinkable. He ordered a beer, and took his time drinking it. He had no need to seek oblivion from a bottle. At the break just before Mercy came out he finally ordered another beer, and a bottle of water for her. He had seen her check the audience before nine; she knew he was there. He smiled slightly to himself. He had also removed his collar, and his glove. He recognized that he couldn't drink with the collar on. He couldn't even admit to himself that he'd taken off the glove solely on the change of touching her hand again.
They went on at about quarter past ten. A good time for tonight, Mercy thought. She continued as she walked towards the stage, trying not to look at the audience. We've got five songs, which is better than good, considering the number of acts signed up.
When she went on stage, he was not sure if he was even breathing, or maybe he was just breathing too fast. When she sang he was certain he could hear her heart in her voice, or maybe her soul. She does this because she loves it. Amazing. He watched her through each change of mood, pace, emotion as she sang. The first song was a song of love, and pain, so much so it hurt his heart to hear it. The second had a darker beat: primal, sexual. The rhythm of it pounded through his own body in a way that he thought he had forgotten. As she strut across the stage in time with the music, she looked back over her shoulder at the audience, straight at him, he realized that he desired her more than any woman he had ever met, more than any woman he had ever seen in his life. It has been a long time, he realized. The tightness in his groin reminded him, a very long time.
The air between them was suddenly on fire. She felt something burning, low in her belly. It was all too much, too fast, too soon.
She was grateful that the next two songs were bright, happy songs. There was nothing in them to trouble the emotions, or the senses. Auron was able to tear his eyes away from her, to look into the faces of those around him as they watched Mercy sing. He saw that when she smiled, many in the audience smiled back. She carries them with her, into the song, he observed in wonder. There was a small disturbance at the next table, as a newcomer sat down in the midst of a group of friends. Auron saw the man obviously look Mercy over, heard a low whistle, and found himself reaching for the dagger in his boot before he was even aware of it. Was I intending to rescue her or was I just, what, jealous? It is none of my concern if every man in this room is staring at her. Just the thought made him swivel his head around. Admit it, you would like it to be your concern. Yes. No. I don't know! He gave up thinking and returned to listening to the music, and watching the singer.
Then, the last song changed everything. It was a song she had written a few years ago. A friend had told her a story, about trying to capture one perfect moment in time, something that was so beautiful that she was sure she would never experience anything like it again in her life, and Mercy had understood the feeling instantly. So, she had tried to put the essence of it into a song, and now she sang it:
So long ago
Certain time
Certain place
You touched my hand
All the way
All the way up and down the line
But if our paths never cross
Well you know I'm sorry but
If I live to see the seven wonders
I'll make a path to the rainbow's end
I'll never live to match the beauty again
The rainbow's end
So it's hard to find
Someone with that kind of intensity
You touched my hand I played it cool
And you reached out your hand for me
But if our paths never cross
Well you know I'm sorry but
If I live to see the seven wonders
I'll make a path to the rainbow's end
I'll never live to match the beauty again
The rainbow's end
So long ago
It's a certain time
It's a certain place
You touched my hand and you smiled
All the way back you held out your hand
If I hope and I pray
Ooh it might work out someday
If I live to see the seven wonders
I'll make a path to the rainbow's end
I'll never live to match the beauty again
The rainbow's end
If I live to see the seven wonders
I'll make a path to the rainbow's end
I'll never live to match the beauty again
If I live to see the seven wonders
I'll make a path to the rainbow's end
I'll never live to match the beauty again
Auron heard the words, and felt his system go into a kind of shock. She watched him from the stage. She could see she had touched him, but she didn't know why, or how. She sang to him, now: for him, alone. How did she know? We saw the seven wonders, in Spira, those that remain to be seen. Thoughts, images rushed through his mind in a torrent; Braska opening the Lightning Mushroom Rock at Djose Temple…the three of them rushing past the Moonflow, they hadn't waited until nightfall to see the moonlilies…Jecht swimming over the Sunken City, muttering curses…going to the Farplane with Braska when he went to see Jenni…Jecht struck by lightning on the Thunder Plains, and landing on his ass…climbing Gagazet, himself looking up to see if he could catch a glimpse of the fabled Floating Ruins…his first sight of the destruction that was Zanarkand.
And we made the path to the rainbow's end, or near enough. I never thought to find anything like it, feel anything like this, again. Why here, why now? How did she know? All his senses went into overdrive as he watched her, and listened to her sing something that he would never have been able to put into words.
On stage, the song ended, they said good night to the audience. Mercy looked at Dafydd and slid her eyes toward Auron. Dafydd just nodded, he already knew she was going to go talk to the man again.
Auron recovered himself enough to push the chair out from the table with his boot as she walked toward him, and set the water where she could easily reach it once she sat down. As she approached, he had that same illusion again, that he saw her with both eyes, but he just shook it off. She took the chair, and the water, as an invitation to sit, and did so.
"Hello again, Auron."
"My lady."
She hoped to keep him talking a little longer this time; she really wanted to know more about him, to find out why he affected her so much.
"Why do you do this?" he asked abruptly, as he gestured toward the stage.
"Because I love it," she replied, confirming his earlier guess. "Because my soul needs it," she expanded. "I need the music, and the audience, in order to be truly whole." She sipped the water. "My turn. What made you come in last night? I've never seen you before, and I've been doing this a long time. You new around here?"
"I've been in Zanarkand for five years. I came in because I heard your voice." He paused for several seconds, uncertain how to proceed. She looked into his face, knowing he was struggling to say something further, waiting patiently, for her, for the rest of it. "I've never heard anything so beautiful," he finally finished.
Color rose in her cheeks. He could see it even through the face paint she wore. Her "thank you" was barely audible. Even after all these years, she found such direct, personal praise for her singing difficult to hear.
Just then the manager came on stage to start introducing the next act. Auron started to ask her another question, and someone at the next table began shushing him. He glared and they glared back. Just great, Mercy thought, a friend of the next act…nothing ventured and all that.
She leaned forward so she could speak very softly. Auron leaned in, trying to look at her face and not her breasts, now even more tantalizingly displayed than they had been a few seconds ago. She took a deep breath, gathering her courage. This is getting painful, he thought. "Do you want to go someplace else, where we can talk?" she asked softly.
Her eyes met his. She wasn't suggesting anything more than talk, but he could see that she wanted it very much. He found that he was unwilling to walk away from her. "Sure," he answered. They both stood. He tucked his collar and glove into his belt, and she led him into the hall.
"Please wait here," she said at the door of the 'Green Room'. "I need to take off the face-paint, and get my stuff, five minutes, okay?" Auron nodded and leaned his shoulder against the wall, exhibiting little patience, wondering how long five minutes really meant.
Inside Mercy was talking fast to Dafydd, while she stood at the tiny mirror/sink combo and deftly removed her stage makeup. "He might as well see me as I really am," she was saying.
"You still look plenty good. Quit putting yourself down, girl. He came back, didn't he?"
"Yeah, he did," she replied, but with a bit of uncertainty in her voice.
"Where you taking him, sis?" He was just looking out for her, even if she was supposed to be the 'big sister'.
"Heaven's Gate," she answered.
"Good choice, nice little tables for talking, but still plenty public if it needs to be. Make sure he walks you home." He was insistent now, all brotherly concern.
"Yes, little brother." She hugged him quickly, then walked quickly from the room, crossing her fingers that Auron was still waiting for her. He was.
Five minutes really meant five minutes, Auron discovered. He also learned instantly that he liked her face much better without the paint. Her skin was still a little pink from the scrubbing, but he preferred the way she really looked. Her lips looked fuller, rosier, even more kissable without the stage makeup. Several seconds passed, as he continued to study her face. His fingers twitched, he wanted to touch her cheek, to see if her skin was as soft as thought it must be. "Well, do I pass inspection?" she asked nervously.
"Sorry, I hadn't realized I was staring."
"Just answer the question," she shot back, impatient now for his answer.
"Yes."
Their eyes met for a moment that went on much too long. The eye contact was suddenly too intimate, and the world began to narrow to just the two of them. A loud noise from the next room brought them to their senses. "Where are we going?" he managed to ask.
"Heaven's Gate, a club I know, not too far from here. We can talk there, and get something decent to drink."
He nodded in agreement. He had no idea where the place was, either in the abstract or relative to where they were now, and he didn't care. "Lead the way."
She tried to lead. He clearly wasn't used to following, or walking next to someone more than half a foot shorter than he was. She needed almost two strides to his one, damn him anyway. She tried asking questions as a way of keeping him beside her.
"Where are you from, originally?"
"I grew up in Luca, but then I lived in Bevelle for several years." Stick as close to the truth as possible, easier to keep the story straight, marched through his head.
Unfortunately, when he was thinking to himself, he forgot to think about how fast he walked. The first time, the street wasn't crowded, so when he got ahead of her, instead of running after him…too undignified, and I just don't like the image…she called out to him, "Auron, wait up." He paused, and waited for her to walk up to him at her normal pace. They began strolling toward Heaven's Gate again.
"Why did you come to Zanarkand?"
"I promised a friend I would look out for his son. The boy is here."
"Your friend is dead?"
"I lost him five years ago." Again, the truth, letting her assumptions fill in the missing pieces with untruth, so he did not have to actually lie to this woman. He couldn't tell her all of it, at least not yet, but could not make himself lie to her either. He remembered Jecht extracting that damned promise, and wondering at the time how in the hell he was going to keep it. As he tried to distance himself from the memory, he strode too rapidly, and lost her again. Suddenly, he was alone, and there was a sea of people behind him, on the cross way going in a different direction. Mercy's shorter form was lost in the crowd. He stood completely still, frozen in sudden panic.
"Damn, damn, damn, damn, DAMN!" Cursing to myself isn't going to help the situation any. She turned in a circle, trying to find his taller figure. "The damn fool idiot doesn't even know where we're going." Talking to myself won't help either. She spotted him, standing still, with a very worried frown marring his handsome features. Well, at least he has enough sense to realize when he's made a mistake. That's a point in his favor. She hated it when a man couldn't admit when he was wrong.
Auron saw the 'dip' in the swirling current of humanity that was still, then saw it heading in his direction. His knees buckled slightly when he realized that he had found her again.
Mercy forced her way out of the edge of the milling crowd, and made her way over to the still motionless Auron. I have an idea, but I need to get in pretty close to try it. She kept her gaze fixed on his face as she stalked towards him. Damn, he's tall. I'm not sure I want him looming over me when I do this. She modified her trajectory slightly, to bring her into a position where she was standing very close to Auron on one side; her left near his right; but with her body angled apart. If this turns out to be a complete failure, I think I want to be able to start walking away without even taking the time to turn around.
Auron observed her with fascination as she staked out a position at his side. She is…too close. If she were a man, I would have to back away now, or fight. But she is not, so I may stand here and wonder why she is doing this. If I move…if she sways…if I reach for her…we will… touch. He could feel the heat of her body all along his right side, she stood barely inches away.
Mercy was angry, and she was afraid. She was using the anger to cover her fear, and to push herself into challenging him. Auron read that in her face; he could feel the emotions rolling off of her in waves.
Mercy stared up at Auron, trying to read his expression. I wish I could just tear those glasses off his face! Already exasperated, she started on him, "Damn you. You don't even know how to get where we're going, do you?" She didn't even wait for an answer; she just braced herself and rocked her whole left side into his right, from shoulder to hip. Whoa, he is solid muscle under that coat! Hitting him is like trying to move a mountain.
She was angry, and she put more force behind the blow than she intended, or, she was just stronger than she looked. Either way, he wasn't braced and the energy of her 'attack' knocked him back on his heels for a moment.
He caught her scent, and it rushed through him like a hard wave; he was instantly aroused. He looked down into her face, and found his gaze diverted to her breasts, outlined by the deep vee of her shirt. He swallowed convulsively, unconsciously moving his feet apart and trying desperately to wrench his stare back up to her eyes, grateful for the dark lenses. He licked his lips involuntarily.
Damn stupid glasses, what is he thinking? Then she saw his jaw clench. Wait, I think I recognize that look. Her eyes flicked down, then up again. Oh yeah, I do know that look. The corners of her mouth turned up wickedly, and her tongue traced her upper lip.
His response was an intake of breath so sharp, it sounded like a hiss. He breathed in her scent again, a woodsy tang, fresh rain and wildflowers. There had been a clearing in the woods outside Bevelle, where I used to go whenever I needed to think, or just to get away from the barracks. It was the only place in Bevelle I ever felt at peace... until I met Braska. During the spring and summer, after it rained, the clearing smelled…just like she does, right now. Damn, I don't even think it's perfume, it's just soap and water…and her. I certainly don't feel peaceful now. What the hell am I getting myself into? Why?
She looked up into his face, watched as his expression changed. He almost looked lost there for a minute. I wonder what that was about? Why do I care? Didn't I swear off men six years ago? I sure swore at them enough. She smiled ruefully at herself. I guess that was then, and this is now.
Conflicting impulses made him flex his hands in frustration. He wanted to grab her by the shoulders and shake her, to pay her back for nearly knocking him down. He had an impulse to grab her and kiss her. He'd only wanted to do that since the first minute he saw her. A darker, wilder impulse made him think of throwing her over his shoulder and carrying her back to his apartment. That, he'd only been thinking of since the second minute. But his strongest urge was to pull her into his arms and hold her, until he had reassured himself that he hadn't lost her in that crowd. He looked down, mentally measuring her height, certain he owned several katanas that stood taller than she did.
"Look, either you're too tall, or I'm too short. I am not running after you because you've forgotten that," Mercy exclaimed. How would I find him if I lost him tonight? Search the Hall of Records…every man named Auron born about the right time…Lords and Ladies…I'd probably do it if I had to. Guess I'd better try to hold onto him now. Let's see if he's still off-balance enough…
She reached out and caught his hand in hers, as had been her intent from the beginning of this 'discussion'. But his palm against hers was causing signal fires to flare over her entire body, a reaction she had not planned on. Every single part of her being came screaming to life, all at once. I don't know whether to laugh, cry, or scream. This one's trouble. They're all trouble. No need to do anything yet, just think about it. Meantime, isn't it good to be alive again?
Aloud, she said, "I can keep you from wandering off this way," raising their linked hands slightly. His hand had automatically folded itself around hers, without any conscious thought on his part.
His conscious thought followed immediately after. This feels…right, but I should not allow it to continue. I should not become involved with this woman, or with any woman. Last night, I left. But I am here tonight, more drawn than before. Maybe I have been alone for too long. I am separated from everyone and everything I ever knew, and I just want…someone to be close to. Or am I just rationalizing? The simple act of placing her hand in his aroused more of his emotions than he thought he still possessed. He felt that he should push her away, but…he wanted to draw her closer. Her skin against his made all his nerve endings snap into complete life. Whatever his mind thought, his body clearly had decided he wasn't dead, not in any way that mattered. He wanted to hold her, but he felt he shouldn't, so he compromised. He switched the angle of their linked hands, so that instead of simply crossing palms, now their fingers were interlaced. The feeling was doubly intimate. He had to swallow hard, twice, before he trusted himself to make any verbal response, and his voice was still huskier than normal. "Better this way," was all he managed to say. Whether in response to his voice, his words, or his touch, she felt her whole body respond by turning into liquid.
….Spira…Thunder Plains
The fire had gone out, the room had grown dark. Lightning struck near the Agency, and the light flashed through the bare room. It had felt just like that, when she took my hand. Like lightning, like a shock to my soul. Like being alive.
End Chapter Four