(Hola, faithful readers/reviewers! Thank you for bearing with my periods of forever when I didn't update...especially on Chapter Four. I just found out that I was accepted into a really good high school program, and I had been waiting until March, the month I got the letter, to update, and I've have Florida testing, too. Plus numerous assignments that were due in numerous classes, and numerous teachers that assigned said assignments, and making a strong attempt to bring up my Algebra grade. Apologies! Hopefully my life will pick up again and I can resume the updating quicker. Also, I know that I said I wasn't updating in March in the last chapter, but that's how it ended up being- see relatively long and boring explanation above, or skip it and continue reading. Sorry for that, too. But you'll just have to deal with it, hm? Haha, anyway. Enjoy the chapter on pieces of Kaya's past, it comes along with a barely visible piece on how Coordinators came to be(spoiler for Episode 44, heh...)and a strong piece in which the Strike Gundam battles the Aegis- for more than just the fact that they have to. Enjoy!
One more thing: I must offer my apologies to Chibi Fyrefly, because I re-read all four chapters of this story, and I've just realized that I sounded somewhat rude when I made the statement about 'Ensign.' Please forgive me! I didn't mean to sound that way, if in fact I really did to you- any of you- and from now on it will be 'Ensign' instead of 'Anson.' As a matter of fact, I feel very silly for thinking that it was the latter of the two, since I'm up to the last three episodes in the series and have finally heard them pronounce it as 'Ensign' when I could actually understand the word. . .-sigh- Sorrysorry! -gives reviewers and readers cookies and smiles nervously-)
Bold italic is the video clip in the story. You'll understand when you get there.
Last time: Chapter Four
Kira let his thoughts wander away from the subject of the war between Coordinators and Naturals, not wishing to dwell on the fact that he probably did have to kill his childhood best friend, if the opportunity ever poked its ugly head into his life.
Kira knew it would.
Sighing, he turned to go back to Sai and the others and apologize for his rash behavior, and then stopped. There was someone standing silent behind him.
"Fllay- go away, all right?" Kira said briskly. He got no response, and turned. "Fllay, I said go away. I don't feel like talking about- Kaya!"
She was standing there, silent as ever, her midnight blue eyes staring into his with no emotion in them. They were lifeless, sort of. It reminded Kira of the SEED, and he wondered if that was how she would look in SEED mode.
"Kaya? Miss Misumi?" Kira questioned, raising a hand to wave it in front of her face. He gasped as her own hand moved to catch his wrist with lightning speed.
"Kira," Kaya replied simply, her gaze never fading.
He stared at her. "Kaya, what's going on? You don't seem like yourself today."
Kaya stared back. "I'm not myself today, Kira." She let go of his arm, fingering the Japanese sign for life that hung around her neck. "I haven't been myself for a while- I thought you would have noticed by now."
Kira started. "Well- I've had things on my mind lately. So, did you want to discuss something?"
She nodded, falling silent again. Remorse flickered in her eyes, and Kira wondered why.
"I- I have something that I want to show you. Do you have a computer or something?"
This time, Kira shook his head. "I don't have much, actually. How I got here was sort of. . . unexpected."
Kaya seemed to understand. "Well- that's all right, I brought my laptop. Um- come on." She began walking down the hall at a normal pace, suddenly feeling sick. Kaya didn't really want to show Kira this- she hadn't ever shown it to anyone. Kaya hated it, she hated it very much. But, she knew she had to show it to Kira, because he was the only one who would ever understand it all. She swallowed hard.
Kira fell into step behind her, slightly worried. What does she want to show me?
Chapter Five: My Past
Slowly, Kaya walked back to her room, back to the laptop that was waiting, back to the compact disc that awaited her arrival, back to the horrifying memories that haunted her every night in her sleep. She knew that tonight would be no different. Kaya wasn't even sure if she was ready to see this again, if she could show it to Kira without collapsing when the images exploded in front of her. But Kaya silently told herself that she had to do this. It was- and wasn't- something that she was required to do, whether she liked it or not. This was her past, and she had to face it eventually.
Once- more than once- Kaya's advanced hearing failed her, and she no longer heard the echo of Kira's footsteps behind hers. It was then that she turned, several times, making sure that he was still following her, that he hadn't turned away to go somewhere else or see something different.
But he was always there, and he expressed his concern for her every time that she turned around and stared at the silvery walls for longer than she should have. She never replied, and he seemed to be okay with that. Kira seemed to be able to feel, to know, that whatever his friend planned to show him wasn't something on the positive side.
Once, she stopped for so long that he actually caught up with her, touching her arm gently and looking into her eyes. Kaya looked away, unable to keep a steady gaze with him.
But she would be strong. She vowed to herself that she would be strong. No matter what.
Before she realized it, Kaya and Kira had arrived at her quarters. The door opened, and Kaya took a breath as Kira touched her shoulder lightly again.
"I'm sorry if. . .it's not the cleanest," she muttered, stepping inside with him. She didn't catch the serious smile that crossed his face.
"Ah, it's okay. Better than mine, at least," Kira said, looking around. "Now. . .what was it that you wanted to show me?"
Kaya stopped for a brief second and blinked, realizing that she couldn't remember what it was she wanted to show him. "I. . ."
Then it clicked, and she spun around almost mechanically, crossing the room stiffly to her laptop and running a finger over the smooth black cover.
"Sit," Kaya said, nodding towards the bed as she picked up the laptop. "This could take a while. The video, it's. . .over half an hour long." She paused, suddenly frightened that Kira would turn her down, that he had better things to do. "You. . .do have time, don't you?"
Kira blinked, obliging to her request. When he looked up at her, it was all he could do not to shiver. The tone of her voice and the look in her eyes, those deep, never-ending pools of blue, were pleading with him. Pleading. Kaya had never been like this in all her years of life, and it scared Kira a little. Maybe the war between Coordinators and Naturals is getting to her.
Nevertheless, he nodded reassuringly. "Of course. . .I have time. However much time is needed, unless something too important comes up like a battle against ZAFT or something." Athrun. . .
He shook his head. "Don't look at me like that, please. It's. . .a little unnerving to see you in this condition. What's up? What did you want to show me?"
Kaya cursed under her breath. Coordinator senses. Naturals. . .why the heck do I have to have both- to be both? How can I be both? Dammit. . .I have to remember. Think, come on, you have tothink. . .
It clicked again in her mind, this time so hard that Kaya almost dropped the laptop. She managed to save it by tossing it on the bed(not the wisest thing to do, but hey) and then falling forward herself. Coincidentally, she landed in Kira's arms.
Kira looked down at her. "Are you okay?"
"Fine," she muttered. "Just fine." Carefully, Kaya stood again and pulled hair back out of her face, dropping onto the bed with a sigh. She picked up the laptop and drew the CD from a case on her bed, blowing gently at it and then inserting it in the slot provided for such things. Soon she was typing, her coordinator skills kicking in as her fingers whizzed over the keys. Her eyes darted across the screen, reading and identifying the commands she gave the hard drive. Not once did she hit the backspace key, but several times she hit control-escape.
Kira watched all of this, slightly amazed. He was transfixed up until the very last key she hit, which happened to be Enter.
"Impressive," he remarked as she breathed a sigh.
"Don't hold your breath," Kaya said, still mutteringShe suddenly tensed up, and he looked at her and then to the laptop.
"What did you get so tense about all of a sudden?" Kira asked. "I don't see anything wrong with this laptop."
Kaya took a deep, shaky breath and turned to him. "It's not what you see. . .it's what you hear. Listen, Kira. Listen hard." Her unblinking gaze flickered back to the screen.
Kira once again followed her orders, giving her an uncertain glance before turning his gaze to the screen. His eyes widened a little as color erupted in little pixels, exploding from black and blank to portray a scene that he could only have imagined in his mind- until now.
"Stop it! Dammit, stop! No!" A woman who looked to be about thirty twisted fiercely in a man's arms. He had her bound firmly against him in an attempt to restrain her, his cold ebony gaze piercing the air, blonde hair straight and spiked. The woman's own black hair whirled through the air with her struggles, her dark blue eyes wide with fear. "Stop!"
It was no use.
The scene changed, now portraying a young girl of about thirteen, with silver-tipped black hair and midnight blue eyes. She was screaming, and obviously in pain. Her eyes were shut tightly, fists clenched in a strong effort to relieve the pain. . .somewhat.
There was another man standing over the girl, towering at six foot five inches. He was staring down at her calmly, as though nothing out of the ordinary was going on. He had silver hair and light red eyes, eyes that reflected years of evil work.
The girl sank to her knees, a steady stream of tears flowing down her face as she shook. The man knelt next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder, and the girl wrapped her arms around herself. He said something and she cried out again, both sentences murmured. Their lips were moving, but no sounds were made.
Then, for the first time, the man spoke clearly. "Kaya," he breathed, "Please, you're only making this harder for your mother and me. Stop it."
"No!" the girl screamed. "I don't want to make this any harder than it already is. I don't want to leave you. I don't want to do this." She looked up into her father's eyes. "Father, don't make me do this. . .Coordinator skills were never meant to be for this purpose. That man- he didn't do all of this work for this purpose. He did not create what so many call the ultimate race so that it could be a threat to society. Father, this is tearing our family apart one person at a time. People don't pass on the street without glaring at each other. . .it's not right. Don't make me do this!"
The man shook his head, sighing. "I'm sorry, my beloved daughter. But this is what you have to do. Your mother and I- we just can't hold onto you any more, not when this war is going on so clearly. Not when your mother's own life is at risk. She's a Natural, and I'm a Coordinator. Eventually, we will be separated. It will be better if we let you go now, then you won't have to suffer." His voice was soft, but commanding.
Kaya refused the tears now, she shook her head and hair fell into her face. It hid the pain in her eyes. "But, Father. . ." She bit her lip, cursing her own weakness. "I hate fighting. When you used to drink, you always fought with mother. Always- and I had to suffer then because of it. What would be so different now? I've always hated fighting. It hurts- oh, God, it hurts!"
The man kissed her on the forehead and stood up, going back to the woman. His wife had now stopped fighting against her restraint and was leaning limply against the man's arms, her eyes shining with tears as she cried helplessly and repeated, "Stop it, stop hurting my little girl," over and over again. He embraced her, putting a comforting arm around her shoulders as the other man let go.
The blonde nodded to the Misumis and walked back over to the car that was waiting, a black limousine bearing the silver "O" etched into it, for Orb. He cleared his throat and tapped the hood of the car, obviously waiting on the girl. "Pathetic," he muttered coldly, under his breath.
Kaya dried the tear stains on her cheeks and stood up, recovering from her episode almost immediately. A cold wind blew up, but she didn't flinch, turning toward the two that she had once called family as her hair blew in the wind. When she spoke, her voice was just as chilling.
"I will never forgive you."
She turned on her heel and walked stiffly to the car, disappearing inside of it and slamming the door shut. Her parents' expressions of anguish reflected off the black-tinted window as her mother turned into her father's shoulder, but Kaya saw none of this.
The man got into the passenger seat and shut the door, checking his watch before waving forward. The driver hit the gas, and the car shot forward. It held inside the defiant Kaya Emeli Misumi, who was never to grace her parents with her presence at the two-story mansion she had once called home again.
The scene once more switched, this time revealing a room that was completely gray, parts of it covered by shadow, others bathed in moonlight.
A girl in chains was bound loosely to the far back wall, her head down, hair falling in her face. The only sign that she was still alive was the sound of her breathing.
Another blonde-haired man entered the room, his hair falling across his shoulders and surrounding the white, glass-eyed mask that he wore.
Creuset, Kira thought automatically. ZAFT.
"Young Miss Misumi, do you intend to kill yourself before we are through with you?" He drew a laser gun and pointed it at her, moving it to several parts of her body before finally resting on her face. "Honestly- I can tell you at least ten other ways to do it, many of which are more painful, but quicker and more effective." He studied her face from behind that mask, as she looked up at him coldly.
Her gaze was just as icy as her voice. "Dammit. I don't think you're just holding me here for questioning. Stop playing stupid games with me, and do whatever the hell it is you plan to do with me!"
He smiled at her, a rueful smile. "I can't do that for you, Miss Misumi."
She glared poisonous daggers. "Shut up. Who are you, anyway? Tell me!"
"Why? Why should I tell you?" He was taunting her.
Kaya smiled a little, a bitter smile. "Well, you've taken everything from me except my life, my state of mind, and my skills- I at least deserve to know the name of the stupid bastard who's trying to make me crack, pointing his gun at me but only taunting me and biding his stupid time."
The man relented, but only slightly. He switched the safety off the gun, the red laser dot jittering around on her chest. "Creuset," he said finally. "Rau le Creuset, Captain of the Vesalius." He studied her for a brief moment before speaking again. "And you are. . .?"
Kaya studied him as well, eventually settling on giving him a regarding look of dismay. "Creuset," she said, nodding to herself. "Catchy." Shaking hair from her eyes, she looked at him again. "You already know who I am, so why bother asking? Especially if you're going to kill me with that gun of yours." Kaya threw a nod towards the gun still aimed at her, the one resting in the Captain's hands.
Creuset smiled, lowering the gun a fraction of an inch. "You are a feisty one, aren't you?" He laughed quietly, "Yes. But let's say we start over, hm? From the beginning. Let's play a little game, shall we?"
Kaya frowned. "I don't play games."
He laughed again, the red dot coming to rest on her forehead. "You'll enjoy this one. If you win, you get to keep your life."
"Fine. Whatever. Just shut up and get on with it," Kaya spat- this guy, "Captain of the Vesalius", or whoever, was really wearing her patience.
He "tsk"-ed her, taking a few steps forward. "Now, now, we must not get testy at a time like this. We'll start from the beginning, pretend that I don't even know who you are."
He stopped for a moment, and Kaya cursed silently. He was studying her again. But she said nothing, her thoughts whirling angrily. 'Damn you, Creuset! Stop acting like a child and just ask me the questions! I don't want to see anyone's face more than I have to- especially not one of a man who's no older than thirty but acts like a little kid in his crazy, stupid antics!'
Then, the questions started. "Hello there, I've not seen you around here before. What's your name?"
Kaya cursed him again, knowing she couldn't do anything about the situation. "Kaya. Kaya Misumi," she replied dryly, the frown still plastered on her face.
"Kaya Misumi. That's a wonderful name, Kaya."
'There he goes again, the cheap idiot. This guy's pathetic for a Captain,' Kaya thought bitterly.
His next statement caught her by surprise.
"You're very pretty."
Her head swung upwards as she glared daggers at him. "What?"
"Oh, yes," Creuset smiled. "Absolutely gorgeous."
Kaya bit her lip. How was she supposed to answer to this one? Frantically, she searched her brain for an answer. Thanking him was definitely out of the question. Finally, something turned up, and she grinned.
"Go to Hell."
The Captain seemed ruffled by this answer, though he didn't show it. A laugh escaped him. "Ah, I see you haven't been taught to respect your Superiors, Miss Misumi." His finger tightened slightly on the trigger, just short of pulling. Another twitch of it, and. . .
"We'll just have to fix that, won't we?" His voice was suddenly icy. The tone made Kaya shiver. This guy was a maniac! He had actually smiled when he saw the shudder pass through her body, as if he took pleasure in it.
In that moment, the game stopped. The young girl had no clue what she was up against.
A plan hit Kaya then, almost slapped her in the face. It would have bitten her if it had teeth.
She smiled inwardly, then closed her eyes and prayed to the Gods that it would work.
Kaya opened her eyes and stared at him, fear evident in her expression. It wasn't true fear, but the Drama class in high school was starting to pay off.
"No. . .please, Creuset- I mean, Captain- I offer you my apologies for being so harsh. . .it's just that I. . ." She trailed off, leading him into her own little game.
Creuset stopped, raising an eyebrow and daring to come a little closer as she lowered her head in mock defeat. "You what? Tell me, Miss Misumi. What have you to share?"
That voice, it was unnerving in the tone of calm. Still, Kaya refused herself the opportunity to scream- not yet.
"I just. . .my parents forced me to do this, and it's made my world so. . .different. Everyone is a complete stranger, and I- I just don't know what to do." She lowered her head. "Not anymore."
Creuset smiled. "I think I can start you in the right direction, Miss Misumi." He laughed as she looked up.
"Wh- what are you talking about? What do you mean? Is this another of your stupid little games?" Kaya demanded. He had shattered her plan of false insecurities. Maybe there was another way. . .
"Oh no, we're done playing games, Miss Misumi," Creuset said, his eyes moving to the dot on her forehead before tracing the shape of her figure. For a moment, he wondered, and then. . .
"Here, let me show you."
His finger twitched a little too hard on purpose, and the silver bullet shot out of the barrel towards Kaya before she could do anything.
Her eyes widened, and now she screamed, but it was not because she had meant to. Inevitable reality had shaken her world, and now she realized that she had been right about what had been happening. Now, it was true fear.
"No!" Kira cried, not even realizing it. His amethyst gaze was wide with horror. "He can't!" Apparently he, too, realized what Creuset had been aiming for. He was going to kill her.
Kaya didn't glance at him as she normally would have if he had cried out; she was too busy reliving her own past, watching herself and the man she hated most of all.
Suddenly, Kaya's eyes narrowed and she jerked to the left, praying, hoping. . .
Yes. Her last-minute plan, however crude and dangerous, had succeeded.
The bullet slammed into the cuffs that bound her, just barely missing her wrist. She hissed in pain anyway as the metal cracked and split in half- a small piece of it had sliced her skin across the vein, and now she was not only under gunfire- a perfect target- but also wounded.
"No," she muttered, gripping the slick, bloody flesh with her other hand as she pulled free of the remaining chains, "Dammit, no. . ." Creuset's cold laugh echoed in her ears. Kaya calculated how fast she was losing blood, how much of it she would lose before the white cells in her bodywould block the cut, and she came up with a bad answer. Very bad. At this rate, she wouldn't be able to make it out of. . .wherever she was.
Where was she, anyway? She didn't know, and she didn't care at the moment. As long as she could get out safely. . .
Creuset fired off another shot, and this one hit her in the left shoulder. The resulting pain made her cry out, her eyes shut tightly. Great, now her right hand and left shoulder were both out of commission.
Kaya looked up, calculating again. How much time did she have to. . .?
Without thinking about it, she lurched forward, catching Creuset by mild surprise. He blinked, and in that split second, Kaya kicked him in the stomach hard enough to knock the wind out of him, and possibly more.
The gun clattered to the floor, Creuset landing in shock right beside it, clutching his stomach. He groaned, then leaned over and vomited on the cold stone floor several times.
Kaya didn't stop, snatching up the gun and leaping over the fallen man with a grunt of pain, then tearing out of the room. "Young and nieve," she muttered to herself, knowing full well that she was younger and probably even more nieve than he was.
Kira breathed a sigh, his eyes still wide. Wow. . .Kaya's got a lot more strength than I thought. She's pretty good at this.
He was called back to attention, focusing on the screen, as the scene switched again.
The sunlight, warm and reassuring, seemed to filter down like rain, washing over Kaya's body and bathing her in the warmth. She didn't have time to relish it. Her wounds were bleeding severely, and if she didn't find someone who not only could but would help her, she wasn't going to make it. Already, she was using more concentration than would have been necessary, concentrating on making it to wherever she was going rather than her pain.
A few minutes later, she collapsed over dots of her own blood, unable to go on. Several people gathered around her, whispering and muttering.
"She's hurt."
"I wonder if she has any family?"
"Someone should help her."
'Someone should help her?' Oh, sure, you can say it but do you do anything about it? No, you just stand there like idiots.
"Poor girl."
Eventually, a young woman with pink hair that cascaded down her back and bright blue eyes stepped forward, kneeling in concern. She was wearing a pink and white dress, with a gold clip that pulled hair back from her face, and pink shoes. The limousine she had been riding had stopped so that those inside could see what was going on.
A tall man stood next to her, with a cane. He had brown hair and very wise looks. His eyes weren't focused, indicating that he was blind. That also explained the cane.
Lacus. . . and Reverend Malchio, Kira thought vaguely, shooting a glance at Kaya. She had a distant look in her eyes, the scene's colors reflecting off the blue. He sighed, shook his head, and returned his focus to the screen.
"Reverend Malchio!" the girl cried, looking up at him.
The man nodded. "We will take her back and tend to her wounds, Miss Clyne. Come, there is not much time."
The girl, Lacus Clyne, seemed to hesitate for a moment, then she nodded and picked up the unconscious form. Several people stepped back to clear a path for them as they traipsed back to the limousine and left behind the murmuring crowd. An old woman studied the blood, then turned to watch the car speed away in the distance.
"She will survive. That girl will survive, and she will help to end the war."
The scene faded out to black, and then another one faded in, slowly. It revealed a girl with the same looks as before, but she was a few years older, sixteen, and her hair was longer. She was standing in front of a desk and chair, both of which were completely shadowed. In the chair was a man, his face unrecognizable.
"I understand that you are Kaya Misumi, age sixteen, from this place, Orb territory, are you not?" His voice was rough, but calm.
Kaya nodded. "I am, sir."
"Very good. Let me see you properly." The man reached back and turned on the lights, illuminating everything in the room. He could now be seen as the leader of Orb, with shoulder-length brown hair and hazel eyes. He wore a burgundy-scarlet long-sleeved top with white rings around the cuffs, and a pair of pressed pants to match. His name? Uzumi Attha.
Kaya held up her hands, as the man stepped from his desk and walked around her. He paused, and she questioned his hesitation. "Mr. Attha?"
His eyes locked with hers. "That scar. What happened?"
Kaya lowered her hands, examining her right one. There was, indeed, a thin scar along her wrist, paler than her tanned complexion and clearly visible. "It was. . .a struggle, sir," she said finally, tearing her gaze away from his. "I was trying to get away, and a sharp piece of debris cut my skin."
He nodded, understanding that she wasn't completely telling the truth. "Are there other scars?"
Kaya pictured an image of this man as some sort of doctor in his spare time, then shook the scene away and nodded. "Yes, sir."
"Would you allow me to see?"
Reluctantly but without hesitation, Kaya shrugged off the half-sleeve jacket she was wearing and pointed to her left upper arm. "There."
The man examined it. "Gun scars."
She cringed. "Yes, sir. From the same event."
"Who treated you?"
Kaya blinked, her mouth half-open in a reply. What was the girl's name? Laca. . .Lac. . . Lacus. Yes, that was it. Lacus. Lacus Clyne. And. . .the preacher. . .Reverend Malchio. "Lacus Clyne and Reverend Malchio."
Uzumi Attha seemed slightly surprised. "Interesting," he said softly, as she shrugged her jacket back on again. "The Clyne residence."
Suddenly, his eyes narrowed. "Miss Misumi, was it?" He didn't wait for an answer. "Tell me, have you ever had any experience manipulating computers or machines of the sort?"
Kaya nodded immediately. "Yes. I took a computer class back in high school last year. . . learned how to program and re-program computers- I had an A for the full four years."
Attha nodded. "That's good, very good." He walked back around to the other side of his desk, placing both hands on it, palms down, as he watched her. "Miss Misumi, I'm sure you've heard of the war going on between Coordinators and Naturals."
Kaya went rigid. She forced herself to speak in a calm voice, remembering her mother and father. "Yes. My parents- they sent me away to fight. To fight in the. . . in the war. I do not.. . I never did like fighting. I still don't."
To her surprise, the man laughed. A quiet laugh, calming. "Calm down. If we do send you to fight, it won't be for a very long time."
She looked up at him, meeting his steady gaze again. "If?"
He nodded. "Yes. It is a high possibility that you will be summoned to fight, but for what side you will fight is still a mystery." The man straightened. "You are free to go. Expect a call from us soon."
Kaya nodded and saluted the leader, as was customary. "Sir."
She walked out of the room, her steps echoing down the hall.
The entire screen faded to black, and Kaya's form slumped. She let out a long, low sigh and put her face in her hands.
Kira blinked, moving closer and wrapping his arms around her. "Kaya?"
For a minute, Kaya looked as though she were going to cry. Then, she looked up at Kira, and he realized she'd been crying all along.
"Kaya," he breathed again, startled. It was the first time he'd seen her cry in a long time. The tears were running down her face in a steady stream, soaking her uniform.
Furiously, she swiped at the salty tears. "I- I'm sorry, Kira. . . I. . ."
"No." He cut her off firmly, staring into her eyes. "Lacus Clyne. . .I know her. She and the Reverend, they're quite close in their own ways. Mr. Attha- that's Cagalli's father." He paused. "That. . .that was Cagalli's father. Before– "
"Before Orb was destroyed." Kaya finished the sentence for him, quietly. Everyone on Earth knew about Orb's destruction- the cause of the Earth Alliance's war with ZAFT. It was caught on tape, preserved forever as a reminder of the war that would end with only one side left standing.
Kira lowered his gaze. "Yes."
Kaya sighed, running a hand through her hair as she stared at the blank screen."Still- I'm sure there are plenty of questions that you have about what you just saw."
Kira blinked, looking at her. "Well. . .yes, yes I do, but only if you're up to answering them. I mean. . ."
Kaya hit a button on the keyboard, and the screen erupted into colors again. This time, however, it was more like a screen saver- with a picture of the sunset as the main image.
Kira remembered the sunset. . .he remembered it well. Back when he was still on Earth, as nothing more than an individual, he used to go to the gardens with his friends and watch the brilliant rays of multicolored light fade away softly. He vowed a long time ago- when he first joined the Earth Alliance out of fault- that when he got back to Earth, he would watch the sunset again, with the ones he cared about the most.
Kaya's voice, edged with exhaustion, pulled him from his thoughts. "Fire away, then."
He blinked again, "You're sure?"
She looked him square in the eyes. "If I wasn't sure, you wouldn't have seen this video in the first place. You're smart, Yamato- you know that."
Kira flinched inwardly, biting back a retort. She had called him Yamato. . .Yamato, not Kira. It reminded him way too much of that silver-haired ZAFT soldier who piloted the Duel Gundam.
"Um. . .all right." He took a breath, staring at the screen. "Well, first of all. . .how did you get all of that footage? Surely you didn't have someone standing behind you every time you did something."
"Simple. Security cameras."
Kira nodded absently. "Well, that checks out. But how did you get the footage from the cameras without getting caught?"
He saw a faint smile cross Kaya's lips. "Well, nobody helped me, that's for sure. I had to knock out twenty of the guards total before I could even reach the security base. Took me a while, but when I finally reached it, I was a bit shocked. There was absolutely nobody on guard in that one room- the idiots hadn't planned for anyone to get as far as they did, especially not some fourteen-year-old girl. After I got the video tapes, I just played them back, edited out parts that didn't matter to me, and then combined the files into one."
The smile was gone as quickly as it had come, leaving Kira to wonder whether it had ever been there at all.
"Okay, that checks out too, I suppose. My next question is this: how the heck did you catch Creuset off guard like that? He's usually more alert- or at least, he has been behind the battlefield."
Kaya thought for a long time, a heavy silence gracing the room. Just when Kira was about to ask about her unusual act of not responding, she stated, "I honestly have no idea."
The answer caught Kira off guard. He stared at her for a full length of five seconds before blinking. "What do you mean, you 'have no idea'?"
"I mean what I said- I have no idea." Kaya touched a place where the "mouse" would be, and the screen saver vanished to reveal a media player. She manipulated the mouse and clicked a few buttons, then moved a small switch towards herself and left the computer alone.
Music began to play, a familiar tune that Kira couldn't place. It was a band he had heard back on Earth and had listened to often, but since then he'd been cut off from the mechanics and machines that were there, including the music.
"What is that?"
"What's what? The music?"
"No- well, sort of- I mean. . .who composed it?"
"I did."
Kira's eyes widened. "You did? But. . .I've heard that song before, how could you have composed it?"
Kaya laughed at his reaction, and he felt his spirits soar. "No, Kira, I'm just joking with you. I have composed music before, but not like this. No, this isn't something I could do. The band that sings this is absolutely brilliant."
He relaxed. "Well, then, who-"
Kaya reached for the switch again, pushing it more towards the computer and turning up the volume a few decibels. "It's Linkin Park. I love them, they're awesome. This particular song is my favorite- it's called, 'My December.'(1) You said you've heard the song before- that doesn't surprise me. They never played it on the radio or anything, but they really should have." She sighed. "It's such a wonderful song- reminds me of a lot."
Kira obliged, listening intently. When he heard Kaya humming, he glanced at her. "You know the words?"
She nodded, smiling. "Of course. I know the words to a lot of songs, especially my favorites." One hands reached up to tap her head. "Photographic memory, I can recall things really easy."
Kira brushed hair from her eyes. "Sing for me."
Kaya broke from her listening trance and looked at him, eyes wide. "What?"
He nodded. "Please? I know you can do it, just. . .will you sing for me? I want to hear you."
Kaya hesitated. "Well, I- I haven't done any singing lately, I'm not sure how good I would be at it."
Kira smiled. "Yes, you have. I hear you, at night. You sing all the time at night. Come on, please?"
Finally, Kaya gave in. "All right," she said. "Okay. I'll sing for you."
She restarted the song, took a breath, and, as Kira listened with his amethyst gaze focused out the window at space so she wouldn't get nervous because he was staring at her, began to sing.
"This is my December
this is my time of the year
This is my December
this is all so clear
This is my December
this is my snow covered home
This is my December
this is me alone
And I
just wish that I didn't feel
like there was something I missed
And I
take back all the things I said
to make you feel like that
And I
just wish that I didn't feel
like there was something I missed
And I
take back all the things I said to you
And I give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to give it all away
to have someone to come home to
This is my December
these are my snow covered dreams
This is me pretending
this is all I need
And I
just wish that I didn't feel
like there was something I missed
And I
take back all the things I said
to make you feel like that
And I
just wish that I didn't feel
like there was something I missed
And I
take back all the things I said to you
And I give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to
This is my December
this is my time of the year
This is my December
this is all so clear
And I give it all away
just to have somewhere to go to
give it all away
to have someone to come home to. . ."
Kaya stopped singing and the music faded away. Kira looked at her, and only then did he realize that silent tears were falling down her face.
For a long time, neither of them spoke. Kaya bit her lip but let the tears flow, staring at the once again blank screen of her laptop as she had every night for a long time. Kira didn't speak, burning a hole in the window with his gaze.
After a while, the silence was broken by an alarm and the captain calling over the speakers for everyone to get into "Level one battle stations!"
Kira stood quickly, glancing at the door and then back to his companion. Gently, he placed a hand on her shoulder, and she looked up at him through moistened eyes. "Kaya, I. . ."
"Go," Kaya replied, cutting him off as she dried her tears and smiled warily at him. "Go on, go fight- for me. For all of us. For the Archangel. Don't hesitate, okay? I know that you can do it, you've always done it before." She paused, then stood. "Promise me that you'll come back?"
He stared into her eyes. They were shining.
"I promise you that, Kaya," Kira said softly. "If nothing else, I promise you that."
Seconds later, he found himself running down the corridors, flying for the Strike. Someone clapped him on the shoulder along the way, and Kira found Mwu la Fraga next to him. He smiled.
"Let's go, kid. You've got work to do."
Kira climbed into the cockpit of the Strike, securing his helmet in place and latching it. The door to the cockpit closed, and he found his hands expectantly moving to the controls. It was routine- a sequence he'd memorized a thousand times over without really meaning to.
"Strike, you're clear for takeoff. Good luck." Miriallia's voice crackled over the speaker. Kira nodded to himself, bracing for the impact of launch.
"Strike, Kira Yamato, launching!"
Kira's body crashed against the seat and held fast there for the time that the Gundam was propelled from the hangar. When he was out in space, clear of the Archangel, he leaned forward slightly and examined the radar on screen.
Hm. . .everything seems to be okay with the Strike, that's- what?
A flash of red and a warning beep, and Kira's eyes darted up to two red dots on the screen. Mobile suits, heading right for him.
The Duel. . .and the Aegis. Where's the Buster?
Nowhere. The Buster wasn't on the battlefield at all, how. . .strange. Kira suddenly had the bad feeling that this fight wasn't going to be as easy as it normally was.
I'll take them down anyway.
The Duel split, heading behind him for the Archangel.
"No!" Kira screamed. The Strike moved to counter the Duel, but it was stopped by an attack from the Aegis. Kira's eyes narrowed.
The Aegis. . .Athrun. . .
The light saber beam was swung forward, towards the left arm of the Strike. Kira dodged the attack, shooting backwards and stopping in front of the Duel. Strike's own light saber beam was pulled.
The Duel seemed to pause, drawing the beam but not attacking. It was as though the silver-
haired pilot inside was waiting for something. . . but what?
And then, Kira knew. The Buster!
As if that single thought had provoked a reaction, the GATX-103 Buster Gundam appeared before the Strike, as the Duel shot upwards. Kira gasped in surprise.
It swung at the Strike before Kira could discern what was going on. "No!" Kira cried again, activating the thrusters. The Strike shot backwards and then up, flying through the air.
Another alarm told Kira that the Aegis was coming up behind him. The Strike turned, light saber blazing, awaiting the attack.
It never came.
A few minutes later, Kira blinked, looking around. The Buster and Duel had both vanished, probably back to their base ship.
That left Athrun and him all alone on the battlefield.
He heard a faint beeping noise, and hit the video link. Athrun's face appeared before him.
Kira's amethyst eyes widened. "Athrun!"
The navy-haired, green-eyed soldier smiled ruefully. "Hello, Kira. It's been a long time."
Kira narrowed his eyes, glancing away momentarily, taking in the vast amount of space there was in. . .space, before he looked back. "Likewise."
Another crackle, and Kira faintly heard the Lieutenant's voice. "Ensign Yamato, what are you doing? You're supposed to be fighting the enemy, not conversing with them! Are you trying to get us all killed?"
Kira frowned. "I'll do what I can to fight," he replied, switching off the link to silence repeated, frantic shouts of his name.
Athrun laughed bitterly. "I guess we should be fighting, huh?"
Kira lowered his gaze. "We are fighting, Athrun. We've been fighting ever since that day when I joined the Earth Alliance."
Athrun narrowed his eyes, frustration sweeping through him. "I still don't understand it, Kira. After all this time, why are you still fighting against your own kind? It doesn't make any sense!"
Kira's own frustration turned into anger as he glared. He attacked the Aegis, slashing at the left arm. "It doesn't have to make sense!" he screamed, as the attack was deflected by the Aegis's beam saber. "We've already been through this! There are people on that ship that I'm obligated to protect! I have to protect them, and the Archangel!"
"You're not thinking straight, Kira! You don't have to protect them! You protect them because you want to! How many times do they have to force your hand before you'll realize the truth? They're just using you to protect themselves!"
That last comment stung. It hit hard, right where Kira's heart was. He growled, "You're wrong! They aren't using me, I'm doing this of my own accord!"
"You see, Kira? You've just proved my statement, you're doing this because you want to! Open your eyes. If you keep fighting for the Naturals, you won't ever win! You'll be destroyed, along with the rest of them!"
Kira attacked again, hitting the shield on the Aegis. "You're wrong!" hecried, for the second time."I won't! I'll keep fighting, no matter how long it takes!"
Athrun frowned, deflecting the attack and attacking the Strike. "You know? Maybe you shouldn't be alive. If all those people on Earth, all those Naturals, if they knew you were alive, they would want to be like you. They would want to do the best they could, to fight for whatever they believe necessary. But they would fight to protect their own kind, not just the ones they loved!" He let out a cry of rage. "So come on! Come on and attack me, then! Destroy me! If it will make you feel better, taking another life, adding another life to the board marking death, adding one next to the countless civilians, soldiers, next to that boy, Tolle's name, then go ahead! Kill me!"
Kira's eyes widened, his mouth opening in surprise. A startled gasp came from him, and his hands froze over the controls. Kill. . .? Athrun. . .no! He lowered his gaze again, eyes hidden in shadow behind that mop of tousled brown hair.
No, God. . .
You shouldn't be alive, Kira! If people knew that you were alive, they would want to be like you!
Tolle. . .
"Shouldn't you be familiar with this place, Kira Yamato?"
"Why should I?"
"Why Kira, this is your birthplace."
No. . .it. . .I can't. . .
"Promise me that you'll come back?"
"I promise you that, Kaya. If nothing else, I promise you that."
Kaya. . .
"I'm sure you've heard of the war going on between Coordinators and Naturals."
"Yes. My parents- they sent me away to fight. To fight in the. . . in the war. I do not. . . I never did like fighting. I still don't."
All those people. . .dammit, all those innocent people. . .who have I really been protecting? Who am I really fighting for?
"I hate all of you . . .you Coordinators!You should all be dead!"
Kira's eyes narrowed again. Fllay. . .
In the next five seconds he had regained hold on the controls and attacked Athrun with extreme force. "SHUT UP!" Kira yelled furiously. "JUST SHUT UP ABOUT THE WAR! I don't want to hear any of it, I don't want to think about it! Just shut up and die!"
Athrun blocked his attack, holding him off, watching his childhood friend totally lose himself. "You see, Kira? This war. . .it's changed you. You hate fighting, and yet you fight as though it means the world to you."
"What are you talking about?" Kira spat.
Athrun remained calm and collected, pushing away the beam saber with the Aegis's.
"You know what I'm talking about, Kira. Both of us are fighting, for the same reasons. You're fighting because you care about people, and so am I. But I'm fighting this battle, right now, for one person. The one person that I have to guard myself against on the battlefield. I'm fighting, Kira. For you. And you just told me to shut up and die."
Somewhere on the screen in the Strike, another alarm went off, signaling something that wasn't fatal but should be taken care of soon. The brown-haired soldier paid no attention.
Kira froze up again, his gaze once again falling. His eyes widened as they had so many times before, out of shock. He didn't say anything. Slowly, the world came back to him, wrenching his heart into pieces. His shoulders began to shake, twitching hard, harder than they should have, and his breathing came out quicker, too quick. He was breathing irregularly now, sucking in shaky breaths and trying to save any calm he had, and his breath came out in short, quick gasps.
Kira shut his eyes tight, the tears springing from them and floating around in the anti-gravity of space.
"Kira," Athrun said. Dammit, how could he stay so calm!
With a wordless cry of anguish, Kira slammed his fist down on the keyboard, the video vanishing immediately and the regular voice message system returning online. He let the tears fall, fists clenched tight in fury, his whole body shaking with rage and pain and uncontrollable grief.
Back on the Archangel, those in the control room were listening to every word. Miriallia was halfway to tears, Kazui was staring down at his hands, and Sai had his own eyes closed, leaning back in the chair and pulling from reserves of calm. Captain Murrue Ramius, Lieutenant Natarle Badgiruel, and Mwu la Fraga were all staring silently at the screen.
The silence was broken when a sob escaped Captain Ramius, as she bit her lip and clenched her fists. Fraga placed a hand on her shoulder, and she turned into him, crying silently.
Still, nobody said a word. Even the Lieutenant had no comment to make about the situation. She closed her eyes and took a breath, her ownhandstightening into fists before relaxing again.
When they heard Kira scream, scream of all his pain and hurt and the emotional scars he had received in the past months, all the torture of battle that he had endured, screaming as the memory of Tolle dying in the seconds that Athrun destroyed him replayed in his mind, all control was lost.
Natarle shot forward, out of her chair, and ran out of the room, the door shutting with a hiss behind her. Captain Ramius, whose crying had faded to soft breathing, fell to Mwu's chest again as her sobs filled the room. Mwu tightened his comforting grip on her back, staring through narrowed, hard sienna eyes at the screen.
Kira. . .
In her room, Kaya was listening to another song, curled up on the bed and staring out the window at the Strike mobile suit, at the tortured soldier that she couldn't see. Softly, she began to sing along with the song as it restarted, finding herself unable to cry.
(2)"It's easier to run
replacing this pain with something more
It's so much easier to run
than face all this pain here all alone
Something has been taken from deep inside of me
a secret I've kept locked away
no one can ever see
Wounds so deep, they never show,
they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head,
For years and years they play
If I could change I would
take back the pain I would
retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
take back the pain the pain I would
retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave
It's easier to run,
replacing this pain with something more
It's so much easier to go
than face all this pain here all alone
Sometimes I remember
the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories
I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go
and never looking back
and never moving forward so
there'd never be a past
If I could change I would
take back the pain I would
retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would
take back the pain I would
retrace every wrong move I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave
Just watching it aside
all of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel this place
It's so much simpler than change
It's easier to run
replacing this pain with something more
It's so much easier to go
than face all this pain here all alone
It's easier to run
If I could change I would
take back the pain I would
retrace every wrong move that I made
It's easier to go
If I could change I would
take back the pain I would
retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave. . ."
Kaya slowly drew herself up from the bed, sighing sadly and shaking her head. Giving a last glance out the window at space, she discovered that the mobile suit was still there, floating, suspended in nothing.
Nothing. . .suspended in nothing. . .completely alone out there. . .
She shook her head again. He may have been alone out there, but he was not alone completely. He would never be. Those who were living would be there for him always- and even those who were dead would be watching him, no matter what feelings they may have whether they be against him or think positive of him. The young soldier would never be completely alone, even if he wanted to be.
Kaya started for the bathroom. Maybe a good hot shower would erase the memories from her mind.
Maybe. . .
But she doubted it.
(So? What did you think? I thought I did pretty good, but then again that's just me. I sincerely hope that you all enjoyed this chapter. Kaya's past really wasn't much, but there will be more on it later. La-ter. That means you'll have to keep reading and wait patiently (or, not patiently, take your pick) for the next chapter. I'll try to update as soon as possible. READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! Get it? Haha, thanks in advance.)
(1) "My December," for those of you that didn't know, is a song from off Linkin Park's CD, "Reanimation." It happens to be my favorite at the moment, but that might change soon.
(2) That song was also by Linkin Park, which happens to be my favorite band(not that any of you care...haha). Most of you probably know that one, it's "Easier to Run" from the CD "Meteora".Sometimes it is easier to run, but eventually whatever you're running from comes back to haunt you. I know that from personal experience. . .but anyway. Yeah. It's a good song, and it symbolizes a lot concerning Gundam SEED, in my opinion. Kira's trying to evade those horrible memories, but it doesn't work, because every day they return to him. . .how sad. . .