I decided that if I mention K.o.t.w.a.s. in every round of author notes, the chances are that one of them will read this and be like "Ack! Somebody contact Jade!" Yeah, sure. This is of course based on my Jadian Theory Of Pillowy (Or, If You Nag Someone For Something, They'll Get Annoyed and Get It.) I know I've been a bad updater buuuut NaNoWriMo novel+homework+slacking off+watching TV+senpai coming over=No time for fanfiction. But dammit I'm updating whether you guys like it or not!
Disclaimer: I don't own FY or the song title as used for the title of this fic.
Somewhere Out There
Chapter Two
I blinked several times, but the amber eyes were still there. Now, who had amber eyes? I supposed it was a doctor of some sort, they probably ran over to me when they should be looking at Kourin.
A wrenching pain went through my body as I thought of her and I turned to look at her bed, but it wasn't there. In fact, I was outside, laying in what looked like well kept grounds, near me on one side was a large pond, almost a lake, with a bridge going over part of it. Lanterns were lining the bridge and there was a gazebo right on the edge of the pond. My eyes flickered back toward the amber ones still looking at me with a swirl of curiosity and concern.
"Are you alright?" It was a deep and pleasant voice that put me instantly at ease.
"I'm fine…" My head hurt a little as I sat up. "Where am I?" I asked, as I looked beyond him to a huge building, also strung about with lanterns, that looked like a huge palace that you see in Asian history books.
"You are currently sitting in my gardens which are located right next to the palace." The man offered. I took a careful look at him. He had a flawless face, with elegant features surrounding his amber eyes, which were sparkling at the moment. His gray hair was pinned up in a sort of crown that reminded me of something that I had vaguely seen before.
"Palace?" I stood up, wiping dirt off of my jeans. He smiled at me.
"Yes, the Royal Palace of Konan." He looked vaguely surprised that I didn't know. "Where is it that you are from? I have never seen clothes like that before…"
"I come from…" I looked around the place; it did look rather like ancient China or something. "Er, wait, Konan?"
"Yes, Konan, one of the four kingdoms…" The man was studying me. "I saw you arrive."
"Huh?" I was really bewildered now, and there was that pang that reminded me of Kourin. "Look, I have to find the hospital…"
"There was a flash of red light." The man was saying. "And there you were, laying there on the path. You must have been sent by Suzaku."
"Look, I don't really know what you're talking about." I put up a pair of hands. "I just fainted in the hospital or…or…" Tears started to come down my face as I remembered why I had fainted. I collapsed back down to the ground, sobbing into my hands.
A warm pair of arms encircled me and held me close, my head resting on layers of red fabric. I clutched at it and cried even harder. A hand smoothed my hair.
"It's okay…" A voice whispered to me. I stayed in those warm arms for a while before I realized I was just crying all over someone I had never met before.
"I…I'm sorry…it's just, someone very close to me…" I closed my eyes as I pulled away, trying hard to be able to say it. "They died…"
"That's alright, I was repaying a favor." The man had a faraway look in his eyes.
Repaying a favor? What?
"Who are you?" I asked, noticing that he seemed in some odd way familiar to me like someone I had met just once or someone I had passed on the street.
"I'm Saihitei." The man introduced himself.
"My name is…"I hesitated. Now what happened next I can't really explain other then to say that it suddenly occurred to me that this person probably thought I was a woman, I mean, I am very feminine looking and often have to convince people of my gender. And Kourin would play along sometimes when I pretended to be a girl. And then maybe, just maybe, if I pretended to be her, she'd live on in this strange land. "Chou Kourin."
"Kourin?" The man looked surprised but then he smiled a secretive smile that I didn't understand. "Come, I'll take care of you." I let him lead me into the huge palace. I didn't really understand where I was still. Several people bowed as we passed, probably at Saihitei.
Wait a second…did he say that they were his gardens? Is he…could he be…?
I gave him a questioning look as yet another person bowed to him. Saihitei noticed my confusion.
"I'm the Emperor of Konan." He offered as an explanation. My jaw dropped and I stopped dead in my tracks.
"The Emperor?" I said incredulously. "Of Japan? You look a lot younger in real life…and there's no place in Japan called Konan…" Then the thought came to me. "I'm…I'm not in my world anymore, am I?"
"No, I don't think so." Saihitei's face looked as though he was considering something privately. "I think you were sent to us from another world."
"But…but that's just crazy!" I waved my arms wildly. "I mean, you can't just go
world-hopping!" I suddenly pinched myself, nope, I wasn't dreaming. What the heck was going on? I realized that Saihitei probably knew about as much about the situation as I did. Why had I been brought to this strange place?
"Your Highness, I was looking for you." An elderly man approached Saihitei. He looked over in my direction. "Ah! What a beautiful lady, if I may say so, your Highness."
"Yes, this is Kourin." Saihitei nodded his head towards me. "Kourin is staying here for now, prepare a room at once." The man bowed and hurried off. In a few moments a couple of maids came to us, curtsying deeply.
"Lord Kokoro told us that the Lady Kourin would need our assistance." One maid
explained their presence.
"Yes, Kourin," Saihitei looked directly at me. "Feel free to call for anything you might need. Then when you are done, please come to my chambers, I wish to speak with you some more."
"Let's go, Lady Kourin." The maids began to usher me away and I let them. We got to the room, which was huge. It could have fit Rokou's, Kourin's, and mine in there. The maids turned towards me.
And then they tried to undress me.
"AHHHHHH!" I screamed and then flailed wildly to keep them away from me. Because if they undressed me, then they would know that I was far from being 'Lady Kourin.' And 'Lord Kourin' had a disturbing ring to it. I backed away from the startled maids. "Um...that's okay, I'll get dressed myself."
"But lady-" One maid began.
"No, by myself." I insisted.
"Perhaps where Lady Kourin is from, they dress themselves." One maid with purple hair suggested. She looked a bit like an older version of Kourin.
"What's your name?" I asked her.
"Houki." She answered promptly.
"Well, Houki's right." I agreed with what she said. "We're um...really modest." Oh good one Ryuuen. I gathered up the clothes they had brought for me and went behind one of the dressing screens.
I didn't realize how complicated the clothing was, and so Houki had to explain it to me twice. I finally walked out and immediately all the maids swooped on me, trying to put up my hair and put make-up on. I knew Kourin would enjoy the attention and I tried to allow it, but it was a bit too weird for me and I kept squirming.
When they were done, I was allowed to look in the mirror. You couldn't mistake me for anything but a girl now. The layers of clothing would have hidden anyone's chest so I just looked really flat for a girl. My lips were red and looked somewhat pouty. I had to say that I wasn't by any means a bad looking girl. In fact, I was kind of pretty.
I look like Kourin.
The thought made my stomach clench as I was led toward Saihitei's rooms. I went inside and I swear his eyebrows went up to his hairline at the sight of me. Maybe I didn't make as convincing a girl as I thought. He seemed to regain his composure.
"Sit, please." He gestured to the place across from him at the table. The maids left, and then it was just the two of us. "I thought my explanation earlier was not very good and I should strive for a better one this time around."
"Okay." I nodded. "So, where's Konan?"
"It's the southern-most kingdom in our land. It is the land protected by Suzaku, the phoenix." Saihitei answered.
"Suzaku. The phoenix. Got it." I tried not to sound too skeptical. I had never really had any sort of faith before in a higher deity. And now, suddenly I'm in another world, walking around a kingdom that's supposed to be protected by some big fiery rooster, so excuse me if I don't have undying faith in the concept.
"The other three gods are Genbu, the turtle who protects the land of Hokkan, Seiryuu, the dragon who protects the land of Kutou, and Byakko, the tiger who protects the land of Sairou." Saihitei went on.
"So, earlier when you said Suzaku sent me...you were talking about your god?" I went with the explanation.
"Yes, I saw a flash of red light, and then there you were." Saihitei looked at me with an almost shy curiosity. "Is our world very different from yours?"
"A lot different." I looked at the lanterns. Those weren't light bulbs. "You don't have electricity for one."
"Elec..tricity?" Saihitei said the word slowly. "What is that?"
"I don't know how to explain it." I admitted sheepishly. "Or at least, not in a way that would make you understand."
"I'm sure it is quite fascinating. But how did you travel here? Were you meditating?" Saihitei questioned.
"I was at the hospital."
And suddenly I was at the hospital. Reliving every horrible moment of it.
"Kourin's in the hospital…something happened."
"She was stabbed six times and raped."
"It's big brother…wake up…how can you try to get hurt like this on my birthday? That was stupid…wake up, please Kourin, wake up! Open your eyes…"
"Dammit Kourin! How could you? Don't you know anything? You knew you shouldn't have snuck out! You knew! You knew!"
She should have lived. She should have lived. She was my little sister and she should have been allowed to keep going.
What wrong had she ever done anyone?
She was just Kourin...why couldn't you let her live?
I won't let her die like this.
I can't.
I was crying again, maybe I'd never stop crying. It hurt so bad as I thought of all the things Kourin was never going to see or do. There was the vain and desperate hope that if I ever got back to the hospital, Kourin would be there.
And then there was a pair of comforting arms there around me. Saihitei was letting me cry on his robes. A complete stranger. Somebody who wouldn't even tell him their real gender or their real name. Why was that?
I felt so exhausted and so numb. Sleep washed over me even though I knew I shouldn't just go to sleep in front of Saihitei like this. But I did.
I dreamed of Kourin.
* * *
Beep. Beep. Beep.
What's that sound?
I opened my eyes to see a heart monitor beeping next to me. That was weird. Since when did ancient kingdoms have heart monitors? And then I sat up quickly and saw that I was back at the hospital.
What? But...was that all just a dream?
It felt so real.
"Ryuuen!" I heard my mother gasp and I turned to look at her but was suddenly being hugged fervently by Rokou.
"Don't ever do that again!" Rokou told me fiercely. "Gods, Ryuuen, I already lost...dammit, I thought, the way you fell like that..."
"What's going on?" I asked them. "All I can remember is..." I wasn't sure I could say it. A small sob escaped my mom's lips and she buried her face into her hands. My father's face was drawn with grief and his eyes were bloodshot. I had never seen my father cry before. That meant only one thing.
There was a part of me that had wanted to believe I would come back and everything would be all right. But that wasn't true.
She's gone...she's really gone...
"Ryuuen!" Kourin smiling happily at him faded away into the darkness.
Kourin...
"She's..." I couldn't finish now. I couldn't say it out loud.
"She's gone." Rokou's eyes averted to the floor as though it would make it less painful if he wasn't looking at me. I wish I could say I was all cried out. But I wasn't. We all cried together, Rokou hugging me, and my dad hugging my mom.
It could have been hours later, I wasn't sure, but a doctor came in and checked my pulse and everything. I was so numb, I couldn't even see him, I could only see the red-rimmed eyes of my family.
"You're fine Mr. Chou, you just fainted." The doctor told me in a deep, pleasant voice. "You can go home now if you'd like." I looked up at him and only saw a pair of dark eyes before my mother stood up.
"We should get back to the house." My mother nodded solemnly. And I suddenly realized how much I hated hospitals. I hated the way it looked and smelled. And I hated the way Kourin had to die here.
We finally got out of there and climbed into the car. The clock read four a.m. It was then that I remembered yesterday was my birthday.
What had started out as one of the most exciting days of my life had quickly turned into the worst day of my life. It was strange how things turned out.
The drive home was unbearable as we had to go through town. Have you ever just looked out the window and sat there recalling everything that happened at every place you passed?
Remember when we went to that Dairy Queen and yelled 'bingo!' when they called our number?
Remember when we all got lost and Rokou's car broke down?
Remember when...
They all started out like that. And it hurt as though an icy fist was squeezing tighter with each reminder. Finally, I closed my eyes but all I could see was Kourin lying on that hospital bed.
I opened them again and stared hollowly at the seat in front of me. It was like a part of me had been ripped away.
We arrived at home and all the memories came and I couldn't take it. I ran up to my room, slamming the door behind me as I heard my mom call my name. I buried my face in the pillow, sobbing loudly into it, my hand balling into a fist and punching the headboard of my bed every so often.
Finally, my mother braved knocking on my door. I looked over at my knuckles, they were bruised and two had split open and were bleeding. I didn't care. It didn't matter because they could bleed all they wanted to and they weren't bringing back Kourin.
"Ryuuen? Honey?" My mom came and sat down next to me. I turned my face away from her and stared at my hand. "Ryuuen, I know this is horrible. I know that you're sad, I feel the same way. We all do. I just...I guess I just don't want you to feel alone. Not when you have your family here beside you." I sat up and looked at her rose-colored eyes.
It struck me that my mother was not very young. I guess I always thought of her as young, but the lines on her face, the rings around her eyes, everything said it was obvious that she was beginning to grow old. I threw my arms around her, and she hugged me back, rocking me gently like I was a little kid.
Eventually though, she put me to bed, tucking me in, and I felt just a little bit better. She kissed my forehead and then turned my light out as the first lights of morning began to peek through my curtains. Twenty-four hours ago, I had a sister.
My eyes closed and I drifted off. I couldn't help but feel weird about the whole thing with Saihitei and Konan. Were they real? Or just something I made up out of nowhere?
It all felt so real. And when I pinched myself...it had hurt.
Was it all some sort of illusion?
Was Saihitei real?
Somehow, I didn't think I could accept that he wasn't.
* * *
I knew I had fallen asleep, but I felt something warm rush over me all over again. It was just like last time. And then I felt like I was falling. Why was I falling?
Crash!
I winced more at the sound then the pain I felt as I made contact with a long wooden table. I had clearly fallen on stacks of paper. I moved my hand, it was sticky with ink.
"What the heck?" I asked.
"Kourin!" And I turned to see that above the table was a dais where a throne sat and standing up in shock was Saihitei.
I'm back.
* * *
Finally. That took forever and a day. I swear all will be revealed soon. Please review!