Disclaimer: Don't own it. Never did. Never will. I just like to pretend sometimes...
By the time Remus woke, the sun was high in the sky. Light spilled in through the window, filling the small room with a healthy glow. He blinked his sleep-filled eyes and froze when he realized where he was.
He wracked his brain, desperate for an explanation.
He had helped Sirius…and had fallen asleep. But then how did he get under the covers? And why was—
Remus took a sharp intake of breath as a shiver skimmed up and down his spine. It was then that the details of his position sunk in. His left hand was interlaced with Sirius's. His shirt had ridden up, and Sirius's other hand was exploring the exposed skin. His friend's leg was thrown over his, the knee massaging his inner thigh. He was painfully aware of Sirius's shirtless skin pressing against his side.
He suppressed a shock of pleasure as Sirius's hand slid under his shirt, tracing his chest muscles. The knee that was pressed against his thigh moved up, applying pressure to an area Remus didn't want stimulated.
"Mmm," Sirius moaned into his ear. "Mmm…Moony."
Sirius licked his ear and sucked it into his mouth to nibble on it. Remus felt himself tremor involuntarily.
"S—Sirius?" he gasped. "What're you—ah—d—don't." Remus bit his lip in vexation, trying to stop himself from quivering at the touch. He could feel himself hardening at the attentions Sirius—sleeping or otherwise—was subjecting on him. Padfoot's hand slithered up his torso, eliciting a whimper.
He felt something hot and sticky on the side of his face. Sirius's mouth had moved from his ear and was now licking and gnawing at his cheek. Remus became aware of a rhythm of pressure building up between his thighs. He gripped the sheets under him with his free hand as he lifted his hip, biting back a moan of delight.
"Pad—ah—mmm—Paaadfoooooot!"
If Sirius didn't stop soon, Remus was sure he would lose all control he had over his body. Restraint was already slipping from him with each passing second.
He tried to turn away from Sirius's exploring mouth, which was creeping too close to his own. Sirius rubbed his fingers back and forth over his nipple; shivers of passion undulated through his body, causing Remus to comply as he struggled to stifle them. Another moan escaped him when Sirius's lips covered his own, surveying the once-familiar territory. Sirius's tongue lapped hungrily at his lips and Remus found himself responding eagerly, caught up in the passion and the lust.
Remus was torn between getting up off the bed to save himself from Sirius's early morning sleep walking (or sleep snogging in this case)—and giving in to his blazing desires and just shagging the great git. It was a tough call, and Sirius's sensual massages really weren't helping matters. Remus was greatly tempted to simply lie there and submit to the pull of sin. But as usual, logic eventually kicked in.
With great difficulty—more mental than physical—he tore himself away from Sirius's kiss. Remus got up, wriggling out of his friend's embrace, and staggered to the bathroom. His legs felt like they were made of jelly. He had to keep a hand on the wall to steady himself.
x-x-x-x-x
Sirius turned over onto his stomach, smiling slyly into his pillow. That had been quite an interesting experience. It had been such an exhilarating feeling to hear Remus's moans of pleasure. Remus was always such a controlled and restrained person that Sirius had constantly taken great satisfaction in being able to arouse him to the point of doing something so base and primal as whining in lust.
He wondered vaguely whether he could have been dreaming.
It scared him that he had had the gall to do what he had done. But at the same time, he couldn't help but remember what Remus had told him the previous night—
"I missed you, too, Padfoot…More than you can possible imagine."
The want and pain in Remus's voice had convinced Sirius that—at the least—he had to try.
Sirius grinned and pulled up the covers over his head.
This was turning out to be quite the reunion.
x-x-x-x-x
Remus stopped at the threshold of the bathroom to shake himself. He touched his lips—they were still wet where Sirius's tongue had examined them. Closing his eyes, he savored the taste of his lover on his mouth.
When he realized what he was doing, he shook his head vigorously, as if expecting the merely physical action to cleanse his emotions.
Gods! What was I doing?
He started to strip off his clothes with the intent of taking a shower, but stopped. His clothes, his skin, his hair—they all were saturated with Sirius's smell—an aroma that made him slightly lightheaded and inexplicably giddy. Remus couldn't bear to wash the scent off. He stood still, basking in the fragrance of his lover.
It was then that the realization struck him.
I still love him…I always have.
Of course, Remus had always been attracted toward Sirius, and in the last twelve years had dreamt about him daily. But he had dismissed those stirrings in his heart for friendly affection and maybe even physical desire. He hadn't even begun to consider the possibility that he loved him. Or he hadn't wanted to. Either way, the epiphany surprised him.
Oh, God. I love him—I, Remus J. Lupin, am in love with Sirius Black.
Remus smiled as he remembered how he had come to the very same realization nearly twenty years ago.
But what now?
Sirius didn't feel the same way—Remus was sure of it. There was a part of him that wanted to believe that Sirius loved him back, that everything would be the same again.
No! He couldn't stand to be hurt again…especially not by his Padfoot. Tears burned his eyes as Remus remembered how Sirius had asked him to break off their relationship.
With a cry of frustration, Remus slammed his fist into the wall—and regretted it immediately as a jolt of pain shook him. He silently scolded himself for letting his wolfish temper possess him. The full moon had only occurred two nights ago. He was still not completely free from the influence of the wolf inside him.
I need to get some air.
Remus strode unsteadily out of the bathroom and down the stairway, making his way to the door. Throwing it open, he breathed in the late-morning breeze and felt his heart calm instantly. He let himself drop down on the steps that led up to the door, relaxing his muscles. However, his mind continued to race frantically. Thoughts, fears, dreams, regrets, hopes—his emotions frantically chased each other around in dizzying circles.
He sighed deeply. This little sleepover was fast becoming a lot more than he had bargained for.
TBC…
A little short, but it was all I could manage for the time being. I was a bit worried about this chapter, since a lot of my reviewers said they like the fact that those two aren't all over each other. They still aren't, but I hope this is believable. I think it is, but I'm the author, so my opinion doesn't really fly. And I feel like I'm pushing the PG-13 rating to its limit.
Anyway, I've figured that weekend updates are doable. So check the story on Sunday nights for an update.
MinervaEvenstar: Thanks! I'm glad the length doesn't bother you. They still haven't…well…I guess they have kind of kissed now…sort of. I really hope you still like it, though.
Kilikapele: Yes, I really like seeing Sirius so vulnerable, too. Glad you liked it!
a'ka:. Thanks! I always had a hard time with those fics that pictured the two of them jumping at each other as soon as they meet. Well, I guess I shouldn't talk since I just wrote this chapter…Don't hate me! I just think it's time that they started doing something other than giving themselves guilt trips. And I still hold that this little scene doesn't really count…I mean, Sirius was asleep (well, Remus thinks so at least!).
crescomellonnin: Sirius was fun to torture…Yes, I'm a very sadistic writer. Anyway, thanks a lot.
S.c.ou.s.er.4.li.f.e: My goal is to mix humor and fluff with a serious story line. So I'm really glad you like it so far. Thanks.
Thanks, reviewers. I've noticed that the number of reviews per chapter is quietly shrinking. I hope you still like the story. I'm a complete druggie for reviews, so please keep reviewing. It makes me work harder.
Yes, I'm very needy, I know…