It's around that time again! Updating time! Everyone likes updates.
Disclaimer: I don't own Fushigi Yugi.
Warnings: Angst. And stuff. Yeah. Woo, can you tell I'm tired?
Somewhere Out There
Chapter Seven
The whole prospect of being a legendary warrior, sworn to protect not only a country but a legendary miko took some time to sink in. It made life seem completely different. Once again, I had never been a religious person so the fact that the existence of a god had just been proven to me was kind of weird to think about. It took an additional week of preparations while Saihitei got everything in order.
In that time, Kishuku started teaching me martial arts to defend myself with. He told me the strongest fighter in the world could be brought down by a better fighter. So every time I went, Kishuku practically kidnapped me and made me practice. I had to wear boy clothes but no one had guessed that I wasn't a girl.
Miaka would watch me and Kishuku practice. Kishuku was the better fighter by far but he had to dodge a lot because I didn't really understand how to control my new found super strength. She'd sit with a couple of miko in training who were always watching out for her as well. The other miko would eye Kishuku as though he was a dangerous animal. They seemed to be happy with me though, I guess because they thought I was a woman.
Even when I was awake, I could feel the mark of Nuriko burning on my chest. It wasn't there in the real world but I could just feel its presence. Reminding me that I had an important purpose.
School was an absolute nightmare. I used to be pretty sociable before but now it was different. People treated me like I had a disease or something. "Don't get too close to Ryuuen, or else you'll catch the disease and your little sister will be murdered too." Maybe it wasn't that bad but that's what it felt like.
And the teachers. Gods, someone should tell teachers that they shouldn't try to console the student. I wasn't particularly close to any of my teachers so when they pulled me aside after class and offered their condolences, it felt like they didn't mean it and it was just part of their jobs.
I did go to a psychiatrist. Mom told me just to try it and if I really hated it, I didn't have to go back. The woman who sat across from me was overly cheery and kept trying to make conversation. I'd answer in a way that showed I didn't really want to talk to her.
"What about your dreams?" She finally asked and my eyes widened. Then I realized it was a general question and she had no idea that my dreams were very odd as of late. After all, I did travel to a completely different world. "Any nightmares?"
"Not really." I shrugged. I wanted to go home. I wanted to go to sleep.
"Are you having trouble sleeping?" She questioned. "If you are, I could prescribe some medication that would help you sleep."
"I'm not having trouble sleeping." I spoke irritably. She wrote something down on her pad of paper.
"Well, how about I just give you a prescription just in case?" She smiled pleasantly. "That way in case you have trouble sleeping, you have them on hand."
"I don't care." I was so irritated. I never wanted to come back to visit this woman again. I told my mom as much in the car. She went to go get the prescription filled and as we were waiting for it, she turned towards me.
"Are you having trouble sleeping Ryuuen?" My mother asked, looking worried.
"No, I told her that I wasn't." I shook my head. That was all that was said on the subject of sleep. If anything, I was eager to sleep. I could stop being reminded about Kourin by everyone and just do my duty as a seishi.
The day we set out to find the other seishi was a good one. The sun was up in the air and I had appeared in the air, falling on Kishuku who was trying to pack up the bags in the back of the rather ordinary looking carriage. We were supposed to be traveling incognito, just in case.
"Glad you could join us Kourin." Saihitei smiled at me.
"I hope I'm not late." I joked.
"Actually we're almost ready to go." Miaka had joined us. "The other miko are worried but I convinced them that absolutely nothing bad would happen to me."
"We'll make sure of that." Kishuku reassured Miaka and they smiled at each other for a moment before both their faces went bright red.
I'm sure that's all the miko were worried about.
I'm sure it has nothing to do with Kishuku.
"Your highness, we beg you to take some guards along." One of the advisors bowed to Saihitei.
"It's better that we only have four people. How will we make room for the three other seishi if I have guards along on the trip?" Saihitei asked. "No, the three of us will be able to protect the Suzaku no Miko. And Kishuku is one of the guards."
"Tamahome, at your service." Kishuku waved from the driver's seat. "I'll be driving so I'll be able to see anyone coming."
"It's much better that way." I heard one of the miko whisper to another. "That man is one we cannot trust around the Suzaku no Miko."
"What about the emperor?" The other one questioned quietly.
"An emperor understands the importance of the Suzaku no Miko staying pure. Besides, everyone knows he's very taken with the Lady Kourin." The first miko whispered back. I blushed at this.
Okay, Ryuuen, calm down. It's just a rumor.
And besides, you are a man pretending to be a woman.
I glanced over at Saihitei who smiled at me and I tried not to blush again. I probably never acted girlier in my life. I didn't really try to be macho ever because I thought guys like that were morons but never have I acted like a complete dork around a guy.
Of course, I didn't really know if I was attracted to guys or not. But Saihitei was different somehow. I found myself thinking of him even when I was awake and in my own world. He was beautiful and kind and other people sort of paled in comparison.
Basically I was confused over whether or not I was really in love with Saihitei or not. I had no idea. And I didn't know what being in love felt like to compare it with this time to make sure.
In short, I was a mixed-up angsty teenager.
"Everything's ready to go your highness." Kishuku gave the thumbs up from the driver's seat.
"Please drop the titles, we are fellow warriors." Saihitei flipped his ponytail over his shoulder. "What hints does the scroll give us as to where we might find the other seishi?"
"Mountain." Miaka had opened the scroll. "We should head towards the mountains."
"But aren't the mountains full of bandits?" Kishuku asked.
"Maybe the next seishi is being held prisoner." Saihitei's brow furrowed. "Or maybe they live in the mountains. We must brave this danger for the next seishi."
"Bandits are no big deal!" I struck a pose to bring everybody's hopes up. "I'll take 'em all out for you!" I flexed my muscles. Miaka giggled at me.
"We aren't talking ordinary bandits though." Kishuku pointed to the mountains in the distance. "Those mountains are home to the dreaded Mt. Reikaku bandits."
"Hey, we got three legendary warriors on our side." I pointed out. "They just got a bunch of unwashed bandits. I think we have a slight advantage."
"But what about Miaka?" Kishuku glanced at the brunette girl. "If any of them even lay a finger on her…"
"I know that." Miaka stepped forward. "But it's my duty as the Suzaku no Miko to gather the seven Suzaku no seishi and that's more important then anything, right?"
Wow, she looks really serious.
"That's what Yui would say." She said quietly and something struck me as funny about it.
Are you trying to be the Suzaku no Miko that Yui would have been?
But you aren't Yui.
Um, Ryuuen, I don't think you can talk.
I was faced with a point. It's funny, people can hand out advice and stuff so easily but they can't take it themselves. Besides, my scenario was different I tried to tell myself. Kourin had died. Kourin was the special one. Kourin is the one who would have been a seishi.
Kourin is worth so much more then me.
Why was it that she had to be the one who died?
"Are you alright Kourin?" Saihitei put a hand on my shoulder and I looked up.
"Yeah…" I trailed off. "I was just thinking."
"It's time to leave." He told me. I nodded and waited until after Miaka had climbed into the carriage and then got in next, sitting next to her. Saihitei sat across from us. There was lots of waving and Miaka and Saihitei waved like celebrities. I noticed that when I joined them, Houki was waving back and several people cheered for me.
I keep forgetting that I'm important too now.
I'm a Suzaku no seishi. I'm Nuriko.
It was almost like I was a superhero and I had a double identity, which was true. Kishuku cracked the reins and we set off. We began to leave the palace and then the city. Pretty soon we'd be in open country.
After awhile, I decided Kishuku was probably lonely up there by himself so I excused myself from Miaka and Saihitei and had Kishuku stop the carriage so that I could come up front.
The wind in my face felt refreshing as we went along. Kishuku told me about himself and his big family and how he hoped he could visit them soon. He had sent them a letter about how he was going on a journey and that he was discovered to be Tamahome.
"Only my dad knows how to read." Kishuku informed me. "But he's teaching Chuuei, he's the oldest when I'm not there. Chuuei's really smart. I'm hoping he can study at the palace one day. That's what I'm saving up some money on the side for."
"That's really neat." I smiled. "You taking care of your family like that."
"Don't you take care of your family where you're from?" Kishuku questioned. "But then, I suppose you are a woman and they don't usually have jobs."
"It just so happens in my world that a woman can do whatever she wants. She doesn't even have to get married." I informed him haughtily. I remembered that Kishuku was from a world that was stuck in tradition but still. Even if I wasn't a woman, I could still stick up for them. "We do take care of our family, but usually we have more then one person with a job."
"When Chuuei's old enough, he can study at the palace and maybe even be an advisor or something one day." Kishuku told me. "Like I said, he's really smart. He's not too bad at fighting either at his age. He could join the Guard."
"My brother is thinking about going into business." I saw the blank look on Kishuku's face. "Like…um…a merchant I guess. Thought it's not really the same. He wants to be a boss of a big business so he can make lots of money. And Kourin—" I blushed as I realized my mistake. "I meant, me, sorry. I'm not really sure what I want to do." I wondered if Kishuku was still suspicious but he didn't really look like it. "I guess I'll see when I get out of school."
"You go to school?" Kishuku looked surprised.
"Yeah, well in my world everyone goes to school." I shrugged. "You kind of have to."
"I never got to go to school or study." Kishuku looked a bit wistful. "I know how to read and write."
"Well you've got the basics. I don't really know why I need Algebra 2 in my life but there you go." I saw that we had just entered a forest. It was getting dark. Eventually Saihitei said we should stop the carriage for the night. We all settled down in blankets to sleep. Miaka slept in the carriage; we thought it would just be on the safer side. Kishuku was sleeping very near the carriage and Saihitei and I were a little away from him.
I couldn't really sleep though and found myself looking up at the stars. Somewhere up there were the stars of Suzaku. I wondered which one was mine.
"Are you awake Kourin?" Saihitei asked after a long silence in which I had assumed everyone else had fallen asleep.
"Yeah." I glanced over at him but he was looking up at the stars in the night sky so I looked back up.
"Anything in particular keeping you up?" He questioned.
"Just thinking." I smiled a little. "I'll probably be waking up in my world soon. I hope you guys will be okay without me."
"We shall eagerly await your return." Saihitei whispered. "Every time you go, I must confess I fear that it will be last time I'll see you."
"I'll come back." I promised. "I have to; after all, I'm one of the seishi."
"My fear is rather silly." Saihitei joked weakly.
"I can understand it." I turned towards him and saw that he was looking at me now, his amber eyes looking as though they were searching my face for something. "You never know when it's the last time you'll see a person."
"I suppose you're right." Saihitei looked back up at the stars and so did I. Then something touched my hand which was by my side. It was Saihitei's hand. It was covering my own. It felt so warm and gentle, I couldn't possibly do anything. I froze and tried to think coherently. It relaxed me and before I fell asleep, I remember that I had moved my hand so that our palms were touching.
When my alarm clock went off, I was really irritated. I was sleeping and holding Saihitei's hand and what did it do? It went off on me!
But then…I was faced with the same dilemma.
Maybe Saihitei does like me like that.
But he thinks I'm a girl.
I can't tell anyone the truth now.
I buried my face in my hands and started crying. It was my own fault. But wasn't it better if Kourin went on being a girl and not some boy named Ryuuen who wasn't the slightest bit important in the grand scheme of things? It felt like my heart was being torn in two.
And yet I was somewhat glad that Saihitei thought I was a girl. He wouldn't like me that way if I was a boy. And I did want him to like me, even though I wasn't sure why.
Maybe you are in love with Saihitei…give it up Ryuuen.
I just don't know.
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Wow. Angst. Good job Ryuuen. I'm so mean to Ryuuen even though I loves him. ^_^.! Let's hope that we have some good luck in the future. It just so happens that we might be running into our next seishi in the next chapter. And I'm sure you all know who that is! See you next time!