Amanda said, "OK, first of all, this parody got deleted for being in "script format" so I'm hoping that changing it like this will allow it to stay." She crossed her fingers. "Warning, this format may be a bit annoying, but you do not have to read the first two words which will usually say something like "Jon said," If you get annoyed just looked at the name then pretend it's in script or whatever. Please review. I for one would really like some answers to why script format is not allowed. What about Shakespear fan fics and stuff?" Stomped away all mad at the admin.

Amanda said, "This is Amanda and Theresa, the authors of this parody. "

Theresa said, "It's a parody based on Tamora Pierce's books. Twist is that it's all about Jonathan...scary."

Amanda said, "It's everything to do with Jon put into the Lion King....thus, it is called, The Loin King...a name that blossomed from a typo. I love typos. Lol."

Disclaimer said, "We do not own Jon or any other Tamora Pierce characters. We do not own the Lion King either. That would be Disney. And we do not own the song we sing later on about the Green Dragon. You can find that in Lord of the Rings: Return of the King. We also do not own 50 First Dates."

Theresa said, "There are only 2 things we own"

Amanda said, "Yup. Theresa owns Nawat and I own Owen." Amanda huggled Owen

Theresa huggled Nawat and said, "Took me forever to convince her of that one. She wanted Nawat to herself"

Amanda said, "But I decided I liked Owen too. He's so CUTE!!!!"

Theresa said, "...anyways....ON WITH THE FIC!!!"

THE LOIN KING

In Scar...er.... Roger's lair

Roger cried like a little girl, "I'm Roger and I'm evil and I'll never be king. WWWWAAAAAAAAA!!! I'm hungry." Stuffed food in his face.

Gareth said, "Didn't your mother ever teach you manners?"

Roger said, "Oh, Gareth, what do you want, I don't like you. You're old. And you don't know how to dress."

Gareth said, "Look who's talking fat ass. Ooh, you're in trouble. The kings mad."

Roger threw up then said, "oh look, Gareth, you made me lose my lunch."

Gareth squeeled like a cheerleader "EEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!"

Roger complained. "aw, man, now I gotta eat him!!! HEY AUTHORS!!!! What the hay?!?!"

Theresa and Amanda appeared.

Amanda said, annoyed, "whadd'ya want?"

Roger whined, "do I really gotta eat him?"

Theresa stated, "of course, that's how the story goes."

Amanda pulled out a script and said, "see? Roger says, 'ooh, I quiver with fear.' and Gareth says, 'now Roger, don't look at me that way! HELP!!!!' And then Roger eats Gareth. see, it's all in the script."

Gareth and Roger said in unison, "eeeeeeeeewwwwwwwwwwwww"

Amanda sighed and said, "fine, you can just...lick his arm."

Roger paused then said, "................................Ok" then licked Gareth's arm. "mmm, tastes like chicken."

Roald walked in and said, "EW, you guys are gay."

Gareth declared, "It was his idea!!!!"

Theresa asked, "should we leave or just chill here?"

Amanda answered, "let's go." She snapped and they both disappeared.

Roger said as if nothing had happened with the authors, "but you tasted good. I mean...why, if it isn't my cousin, descending from on high to mingle commune.... me...."

Roald said sarcastically, "nice vocab. Erm.... what was my line again? Oh, yea...um...everyone's sick and dying."

Roger looked shocked but is a really bad actor so is was a faked shocked look...but Gareth and the King are so clueless they don't notice... "Oh, really? How could that have happened?"

Gareth said, "I'm too clueless to notice that you're acting suspicious."

Roger said, "it's not my fault I want to be king so bad. Jonathan is a ball of hair compared to me."

Roald said, "that ball of hair is...huh? I forgot my line again."

Roger curtsied

Roald asked, "you gotta pee or something?"

Roger confessed, "oh no, Roald, I'm just a big sarcastic ass." And he left.

Gareth said, "there's one in every family.... or something like that"

Roald looked confused. "....um...can I get a script out here or something?"

The Ominous voice of Amanda plainly said, "no"

Gareth asked, "can we skin him?"

Roald just said, "Gareth" for some reason

Gareth begged, "ooh, ooh, let me beat him, pleeeeaassseeee!!!!"

Later, in Myles...tree

Myles said, "ooh, I get a small part here!!!"

Amanda scolded, "shut up, you're not supposed to talk!!!"

Myles said, "oh, yea." and played with finger paints and drew a happy face on the...wall. "Jonathan!!!"

this is going really fast...I mean.... on some.... mountain rock thingy

Jon said, "dad, come on dad, I wanna see the kingdom before you die!!!"

The Queen chick said, "I'm sick, take him away. He's your bastard...um...I mean your son."

Roald took Jon outside and started to blabber on about something. "Look, Jonathan...I have a script now. Which means I am all-powerful and this is my kingdom of light"

Jon said, boredly, "so..."

Roald said, "I'm gonna die soon. I'm gonna commit suicide. Then you'll be king"

Jon shouted, "YAY! Can I help you kill yourself?"

Roald said, "maybe"

Jon complained, "but I want everything, not just what the light touches. People wear clothes you know; I want their bodies, not just their clothes. And wasn't there something to do with a big dark shadowy place"

Roald said, "I don't wanna know what you mean. And sorry, only light"

Jon whined, "but I want the dark stuff too!!!!"

Roald explained, "believe me, the light stuff is better. It has fewer calories."

Jon said, "whatever"

Roald said, "everything you see will die someday and something eats them.... or...something"

Jon licked his lips and said, "yummy"

Roald said, "Ew, my son is cannibalistic"

Gareth appeared and whacked Jon with a stick and then said, "it's time for practice."

Roald said, "hey, that's my son you just whacked"

Gareth said, "I'm his trainer"

Roald said, "oh ok"

Gareth started to talk about.... Stuff

Jon hit various things with sticks

Roald said, "you need a better target"

Jon said, "what?"

Roald said, "well, this guy's talking is kinda getting on my nerves."

Gareth kept talking

Jon whacked Gareth with the stick

Gareth screamed like a little girl, "OW!!!"

Jon went WHACK WHACK WHACK!!!!

Gareth screamed like a little girl again, "AH! NO STOP!!! THERE ARE EVIL THINGS COMING!!!"

Roald said, "whoops, gotta go hide now"

Jon said, "I'm scared daddy, can I come"

Roald said, "no, you need to go talk to your deceiving cousin"

Jon said, "oh ok"

We're already on scene 4!!! And it's in...Roger's lair thingy

Jon teased, "Hey, cousin, guess what! I'm gonna be ki-ing, I'm gonna be ki-ing!!!"

Roger snapped, "...shut up"

Jon said, "My dad says he's gonna die soon and I'll rule everything with light! Heh heh"

Roger admitted, "I hate you"

Jon said, "hey, when I'm king, what'll that make you"

Roger said, "who said you were gonna make it to king...ship"

Jon said like an idiot, "heh heh, you're so weird"

Roger said, "and you're an idiot. So, you're gonna be king and you're father showed you everything?"

Jon said, "everything"

Roger asked, "did he take you to the southern desert and show you the big black shadowy thingy town there?

Jon said, "no, he said I don't own it, so I don't care"

Roger said, "and you.... shouldn't...it's too dangerous..."

Jon asked, "can you at least tell me what it is?"

Roger blurted, "it's a black city with a great evil in there and I'm not telling you to go there because that would be immoral and irresponsible"

Jon said, "wow, I'm gonna go"

Roger laughed, "Muahahahahahaha"

Jon said, "bye-bye, I'm gonna go break the rules and take Alan with me."

Roger said, "there's a good lad, now you run along and have fun with your cross-dressing friend"

Jon was confused. "huh?"

Roger said, "never mind"

Jon skipped off to find Alan/na

Persopolis...though how they got there so fast we have no idea

Jon greeted, "Hey, Alan"

Alan/na said, "Hi Jon"

Jon said, "come on; let's go break some rules"

Alan/na said, "I would tell you why I wont go but it's kinda personal"

The Queen chick said, "go away, I'm sick and you're dirty"

Jon said, "I'm clean, leave me alone"

Alan/na asked, "so, where is it you wanna go?"

Jon answered, "a really cool and dangerous place"

The Queen chick said, "go away, I'm dying. Can't breath"

Jon said, " ...Just as long as you don't breath on me.... Ew, I hate sick people"

Alan/na said, "you were one of them not too long ago"

Jon said, "shut up"

Alan/na said, "um...Myles, can you stop licking my butt now"

Myles said, "hm, what do you think queen chick"

The Queen chick shouted, "LEAVE ME TO REST IN PEACE!!!! As I walk through the valley of the shadow of death..." She rambled on

Alan/na and Jon said together, "weirdo"

The Queen chick yelled, "BE GONE!!!! AND TAKE THAT DUKE GUY WITH YOU

Jon complained, "aw, man, he's gay"

Alan/na added, "and he whacks people with sticks"

Gareth whacked Alan/na with a stick and said, "walk faster"

Alan/na said, "OW! Stop it!"

Jon said, "anyways, we're going to the black city"

Alan/na said, "wow"

Jon said, "so, shall we kill Gareth or leave him to die in the desert?"

Alan/na said, "either is fine. No one likes him"

They whispered

Gareth went to them and said, "look at you two. I can't wait till you find out the deep secrets"

Jon said, "huh"

Gareth said, "Alan knows"

Alan/na said, "shut up"

Gareth said. "one day you two will love each other just like I love my husband."

Both said, "ACK!"

Jon asked, "do I look gay to you?"

Alan/na whistled

Gareth said, "you'll find out soon enough"

Jon was scarred for life

Music broke out but we're too lazy to write new lyrics

Ralon of Malven sats on Gareth

In the Black City, aka Elephant Grave Yard

Alan/na laughed, "ha ha, fat ass is gone"

Jon said, "I knew Ralon would come in handy"

Alan/na said, "Good thing we didn't mention that I beat him up earlier"

Jon said, "hey, I wanted to mention that"

Alan/na said, "well too bad"

Jon, said "oh yea?"

They whacked each other with sticks. Alan/na knocked his feet from under him

Alan/na gloated, "Ha, ha. I win."

Jon whined, "That's not fair. You cheated." He stood up and they started whacking each other again

Alan/na whacked Jon over the head really hard causing him to lose consciousness and said, "I won again"

Jon got conscious again and said, "hey.... wasn't my reason for bringing you "Gary, Alex, and Raoul would have grumbled all the way here and would have knocked me over the head when I tried to enter the city..."

Something exploded

Both said all surfer-like, "whoa, far out"

Alan/na said sarcastically just like she says in the book, "this is so nice"

Jon said, "yea, and no we can't go yet"

Alan/na said, "I never said that"

Jon explained, "that's what you say in the book"

Alan/na said, "oh"

Jon said, "hey, isn't Gareth supposed to come in?"

Amanda and Theresa appeared and said, "we have decided that Gareth shall not make an appearance in the black city so that this one part fits with the actually book. That is all." They snapped and disappeared

Jon said, "ok...now...." He pulled out a script and said, "my line says: danger, ha, I walk on the wild side. I laugh in the face of danger. HA HA HA HA!!!"

The Ysandir said, "ooh, yummy, feel their life force thingys"

Jon asked, "who are you?"

The Ysandir said, "We'll tell you if that little one with you promises not to whack us with its stick"

Jon said, "ok"

Ysandir said, "we are the Ysandir and we're gonna eat you"

Alan/na said, "Ysandir? How do you spell that?"

Ysandir said, "just like it sounds"

Alan/na said, "ok, I-S-A-N-D-I-R"

Ysandir said, "it's Y-S-A-N-D-I-R. Now you must die"

A big old chase scene broke out. Somewhere during the scene Alan/na's clothes fell off

Jon exclaimed, "Holy strawberries, you're a chick"

Alanna said, "my womanhood has been revealed. Now we can date!!!"

Jon said, "ok, but let's beat these things first."

They used their magic to kill the Ysandir since Roald is nowhere near the black city

There was the scene with the dad...not anymore.... we left that part out. And the Ysandir have left the bodies of the hyenas and now Josiane, Thom and Alex are the hyenas

Thom whined, "My butt hurts."

Alex laughed like an idiot

Josiane said, "thanks for sharing"

Thom said, "it's not funny" and beat Alex up

Alex chewed on his own leg

Josiane said, "we're all gonna get eatin"

Thom said, "man, I hate being eatin"

Josiane said, "if only all the knights were gone"

Thom said, "my sister's so pushy"

Josiane was confuse, "sister? I thought you had a brother..."

Thom said, "Erm...yea.... but he's a big sissy"

Roger came from nowhere and said, "not from what I've seen"

Thom screamed like a wussy, "AAAAHHHHHHHHHH!!! Don't do that, you scared me"

Josiane said, "And Alan's the sissy?"

Thom said, "Erm.... Whatever"

Roger said, "I need new lackeys"

Josiane said, "huh?"

Thom said, "losesaywha?"

Josiane said, "what?"

Thom declared, "LOSER!!!"

Josiane yelled, "TAKE THAT BACK! I'M PRETTY!!!"

Thom said, "I'm prettier. Look at my purple dress."

Roger said, "I'm surrounded by fruits"

Thom said, "now, you Roger, you're one of us"

Roger said, "sssshhhh, you're not supposed to tell anyone yet"

Josiane said, "ooh, I know your secret"

Roger said, "tell anyone and you don't get no make up"

Josiane cried, "DON'T EVEN JOKE!!!"

Thom said, "yeah, it's too scary. You know Roald won't give us any more cosmetics"

Roger said, "precisely"

All three were confused since that made no sense, "huh?"

Music started and Roger sang until:

Thom said, "ya mean I'll get lipstick and eye liner"

Roger said, "yes, after Roald dies"

Thom asked, "is he sick?"

Roger answered, "no but the queen is and once she dies he'll commit suicide, but we need to kill Jon since that sweating sickness didn't work"

Josiane said, "not to mention it was gross and everything smelt like sweat"

All three said, "make-up make-up, la la la la la la"

Roger shouted, "idiots, I get first dibs, and then you"

Thom said, "oh, ok"

Roger said, "I will be king, stick with me, and you'll never look ugly again"

Josiane said, "all right, can't wait"

The next day, on a rock

Roger said, "stay here so you can die"

Jon said, "huh?"

Roger said, "nothing"

Jon said, "oh, ok"

Roger said, "nice job at the black city, by the way."

Jon said, "oh thanks."

Roger said, "dammit, and my plan was foolproof"

Jon said again, "huh?"

Roger said, "nothing, you're imagining things"

Jon said, "oh"

Roger said, "now roar"

Jon asked, "what do I look like? A fish?"

Roger said, "...right...Just stay here and roar"

Jon said, "ok"

Roger said, "byeeeee"

Jon quacked, "QUACK QUACK!!!"

2 seconds later, on the cliff thingy with Thom Alex & Josiane, who were waiting to scare the wildebeest....or in this case....ostriches.

Thom complained as usual, "These ostriches stink"

Josianne said, "They need some body spray"

Thom asked, "Can we do it now?"

Josiane said, "No, we wait for the signal from Roger."

Thom plugged his nose and cursed, "Dammit"

Meanwhile

Jon quacked, "QUACK QUACK QUACK!!!! Wait....that's not a roar....that's a moo. BAA BAAA BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!"

Meanwhile again

Josiane said, "LOOK! There's Roger. Let's go"

They ran around spraying the ostriches with cucumber melon body spray which made them run 'cause ostriches only like apple scented body spray

You know the drill

Jon saw the ostriches running....or...falling down the cliff and said, "AH! AN AVELANCH!" and started skipping away

Up on another cliff

Alanna said, "I'm Zazu now"

Roald said, "Odd"

Roger ran up and yelled, "THE OSTRICHES ARE COMING! THE OSTRICHES ARE COMING!!!" and screamed like a little girl

Roald said, "um.....ok....."

Alanna cried, "OH NO! My play toy is in trouble!!!!"

Roald said again, "um....ok...."

Alanna said, "I mean your son"

Roald said with no enthusiasm, "oh no, Simba...erm...I mean Jonathan."

blah blah, Jon ran from the ostriches and got away and Roald commited suicide and we skip over the funeral so we can get to the fun part...all you need to know is Roger died too cause Zazu/Alanna killed him somehow but Thom brought him back to life again....somehow and Myles does more finger painting

In the great Easter Dessert...um....I mean...the great eastern desert

Raoul and Gary came running in and almost trampled Jon....almost

Raoul shouted, "YAY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! MORE DRINKS FOR EVERYONE!!!!!!"

Gary said, "Heehee, you need to start going to AA meetings again."

Raoul said, "Hey, Gary, look, a dead prince"

Gary said, "Ew, he looks familiar."

Raoul said, "Lets go have some drinks"

Gary said, "hey, you're supposed to ask if we can keep him."

Raoul said, "oh yea....well...can we discuss it over drinks?"

Gary said, "oh ok, grab the kid."

Raoul dragged Jon through the dirt

10 minutes later

Raoul splashed ale on Jon and said, "aw, I spilled it again."

Theresa and Amanda magically appeared, singing, "YOU CAN DRINK YOUR FANSY ALES!!! YOU CAN DRINK EM BY THE FLAGON!!! BUT THE ONLY BREW FOR THE BRAVE AND TRUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE COMES FROM THE GREEN DRAGON!!!!!!!!!!!" They chugged from mugs and disappeared again

Gary said, "o...kay...."

Raoul said, "ooh, I wanna go there. Is it close?"

The Mysterious voice of Theresa said all mysterious-like, "nnnnnnnnnooooooooooooooo"

The Mysterious voice of Amanda said even more mysterious-like, "You must travel many miles and through many dimensions until you reach the magical place of Middle Earth."

The MvoT said, "Then you must travel many more miles until you come to the Shire."

The MvoA said, "There you shall meet an old hobbit. Pay him much gold and he shall show you the way."

Raoul celebrated. "YAY! Let's go Gary!!!"

Jon asked, "Hey, what about me?"

Gary asked, "Who are you again?"

Jon said, "Um...um....um...."

Raoul said, "He forgot his name. I feel sorry for him."

Gary asked, "What is this? 50 First Dates?"

Tom magically appeared and said, "Hi I'm Tom." Then ten seconds later he said, "Hi, I'm Tom"

Amanda wondered, "How did this get there?"

Theresa said, "I dunno. You typed it. Get rid of him"

Tom said, "Hi, I'm-"but disappeared before he could finish

Theresa cracked a whip and commanded, "Back to work!!!" and disappeareds and so did Amanda

Jon said, "That was scary."

Gary said, "You said it"

George appeared and said, "Hey, at least you don't have to spend the whole next fic with him." And then disappeared.

Raoul said, "MORE ALE!!!" and chugged

Jon said, "aren't you guys supposed to sing a song?"

Gary said, "Someone already sang a song...two someones actually. Let's continue."

Raoul chugged while Nawat ate grubs

Theresa and Amanda said, "NAWAT!!!!" They both grabbed one arm/wing

Theresa said, "He's mine"

Amanda said, "No mine"

Theresa said, "mine"

Amanda said, "mine!"

Theresa said, "You can have Owen"

Amanda let go and said, "oh, ok." Ran off to find Owen even though he wont be born for at least 20 years

Theresa huggled Nawat and disappeared with him

meanwhile, Jon gots old...hey, it's life

Jon burpped

Raoul cried. "I shouldn't have joined AA. Now I can't drink"

Gary yelled, "THE SKY IS FALLING!!! THE SKY IS FALLING!!!"

Jon asked, "....who is he, chicken little?"

Raoul cried

Jon looked at sky and called, "HELLO DEAD GUYS!!!"

Gary and Raoul said....nothing

Jon walked off

Gary said, "That was fast"

Raoul cried

Meanwhile

Myles chanted, "Finger paint, finger paint, finger paint. LA LA LA!!!" Dust went up his nose. "ACHOOOOO!!!! Huh? Jon's alive?!?!?!?!" Grabbed giant paint brush and ran away

Back in the pub....erm.....I mean with Gary and Raoul

Gary and Raoul sang very offkey

Raoul smelled ale and followed the smell

Thayet screeched, "Ew, a fat smelly alchoholic. You must die now."

Raoul said quite calmly..... "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Jon came running to the rescue and saw Thayet's face and body and said, "Damn, you're hot"

Thayet said, "Hm, not bad looking. Who are you"

Jon gloated, "I'm the prince of Tortall"

Gary said for the first time...I think, "huh?"

Raoul said, "Gary? How'd you get here?"

Gary said, "Ask the authors"

T & A said, "None of your business. ON WITH THE SHOW!!!"

Thayet said, "I am princess Thayet from that one country no one remembers. But I had to leave for personal reasons"

Jon said, "Same here."

Thayet told him, "You should go back"

Jon said, "only if you go with me"

Thayet said, "no"

Jon shouted, "FINE!" and stalked off into the forest

Myles chanted, "Squashed bananas up your arse, Squashed bananas up your arse."

Jon said, "what the?"

Myles said, "lets get to the point" and hit Jon over the head with his giant paint brush and ran away screaming something that kinda sounded like, "GO BACK!!!!"

Jon said, "ok" and ran all the way back to Corus

Scene....whatever....in Roger's lair

Alanna was locked up in a cage and she sang, "Nobody knows the ordeal I've seen, no body knows what happened."

Roger said, "You're depressing me. Sing something better. If you can, your singing sucks"

Alanna sang, "I've got a lovely bunch of boyfriends deedily dee, there they are a standing in a row. Prince ones, Thief ones, one is even a Shang."

Thom came in wearing a dress and tons of make-up and called gaily, "HEYLO!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Josiane, who was following, said, "I'm so pretty"

Thom said, "I'm prettier!"

Josiane yelled, "ARE NOT!"

Thom yelled, "Are too!"

Josiane yelled again, "ARE NOT!!!"

Thom yelled again, "ARE TOO!!!"

Alex said the only words he can ever say: "CAT FIGHT!!!"

Thom and Josianne attacked each other

Back with the others

Thayet asked, "Hey, where's that one cute guy?"

Gary asked, "Who?"

Raoul cried...again

Myles danced around whacking things with his giant paint brush and chanted, "Jon's gonna be ki-ing, Jon's gonna be ki-ing"

Gary said for the second time, "huh?"

Raoul cried yet again

Thayet said, "ooh, I wanna be his bitch.... I mean his Queen."

they all went after Jon who is Simba in case anyone couldn't figure that out

Back in Corus

Amanda asked, "wanna just skip ahead and wrap this up?"

Theresa answered, "sure, why not"

Amanda asked, "How far?"

Theresa answered, "To when everyone dies"

Amanda said, "ok"

somehow Alanna killed Alex and stuff, then switched bodies with Jon really quick so she could kill Roger, then went back to Zazu's body....oh...and somewhere in there Gary danced the Hula while Raoul drank the forbidden Ale

Jon boasted, "I am ki-ing, I am ki-ing." And got crowned

Myles whacked him over the head with giant paint brush

Jon said, "Ow, what was that for?"

Myles shrugged and ran away again

Alanna found a magpie and married him. "Cause magpies are thieving bird ya know? Don't worry, George will be a fish later."

A scene later, Myles held Roald up to the sky. Dropped him and said, "oops. Oh well, you can have another kid and name him Roald too."

The End

Amanda said, "Well there we go. This whole thing was Theresa's idea, though I wrote most of it. She did, however, write the part where Alanna sings about her boyfriends....and I think she might have written another line while I did the dishes. Next Disney Pierce parody will be called "Finding Aly". Take a wild guess what it's about. Lol. Please review, thanks."