This chapter is going to be Paige writing in her journal in the hospital.
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Please don't let me be in here for much longer, I won't be able to handle it. I miss Ellie, I know I fucked things up between us. My therapist is going to read this.
Hazel calls my house every day and asks where I am. Mom's a coward, so she doesn't tell my best friend where I am. I'm in the nuthouse, Haze. Where they lock you up like an animal and you are forced to wear short sleeves. All of the eating disorder girls get weighed, every fucking day, and it's horrible. Hazel, please save me.
I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy I'm not crazy...
Please let them believe that I'm not crazy! I know that Elle believes me. I'm positive that Ellie believes me! My going crazy and cutting the fuck out of my arm was because of her. Because of Ellie, the girl that I am deeply, madly inlove with. I want to know how she's holding up. I heard that she's been in school two times since I was admitted, and that scares me, because Elle's a perfectionist and she could be failing all of her classes. And I've been in here for a month.
Mom says I'm getting out soon, but only if I participate. Oh, I do miss Craig eversomuch.
Today, this girl, Sammy, walked past me and dropped a note on the floor. I picked it up and it said one of the most beautiful things I've ever read.
Collarbones jut out from her broken body. Waxy skin glimmers in the moonlight as she watches the moonflowers bloom in the dark. Her paleness reflects her soul; alone and battered. Flowers bloom from her gashes, and she's commited the slowest form of suicide; love. So take extra care, Doll, that you don't bruise her or break her or bend her. I'll know if you do. She's the most broken girl of them all.
I smiled when I read it, it applied to Ellie in so many ways.
Gotta go, an attendant is coming.
Love,
Paige
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The whole thing with the note and Sammy was inspired by "Echo" by Francesca Lia Block. Chapter twelve should be up soon.