I haven't wanted to update lately, but yeah, and I've decided that chapter eleven sucked hardcore style. Ellie's point of view. This chapter is more about Ellie and Sean than Paige and Ellie. Things are getting serious, and I think I'm turning Ellie into a whore. Oopsies.
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I miss you, doll. I need you, love. Please please please come back to me, doll. Tell me you love me. Kiss my arms and swing me around. Call me beautiful. Wrap your arms around my waist and dance with me to my old jazz records. Laugh at my silly faces when we play with your video camera.
And suddenly he's there, kissing me, loving me. He fades away, and I'm on my knees, screaming, crying, for my lost boy. The boy that I love more than I love her.
Our conversations spin in my head. "Move in...with someone who loves you..."
"I can't...I'm sorry. She needs me." I'm screaming again, screaming louder than I ever have before.
I wonder if this is what it feels like to be losing your mind. I read in Lisa, Bright and Dark that Lisa kept telling her parents that she was going crazy. I'm losing it. I'm losing my grip.
There's a knock on my front door. I don't answer it. I keep screaming.
Then he's really there, holding me as I cry on the bedroom floor. I'm screaming and collapsing into his chest. He's whispering iloveyous and telling me to stop crying. Softly, I whisper, "I love you more than the world itself."
And then he's crying and I'm silent, breathing harshly and wanting to kiss his luscious lips. "I'll never stop loving you," he whispers back, looking into my damp eyes and kissing my forehead.
I gaze at him through wet eyelashes and eyeliner tears, then kiss his lips as gently as possible.
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We lay in my bed, under the covers, completely naked. I sit up, crying, rocking back and forth.
"Ellie?" he whispers through the dark.
I start screaming as I get up and put my clothes on.
He does the same, but he's not screaming. He's not broken.
I sit down on the floor, my knees drawn up to my chest. I'm rocking back and forth, screaming, shrieking, wanting to be loved.
He knows what to do. He leaves the lights off, sits down behind me, and wraps his arms around me.
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I wipe my tears and stand up, going to turn on the light. I sit at my desk, pulling a piece of paper from the drawer.
I start writing furiously as he puts music on.
Paige --
i can't do it anymore. you've made me realize how confusing love is. you're not the one.
sorry,
Elle
I fold the paper and put it in an envelope, labeling it and sealing it.
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He walks up behind me, then leads me out of the front door. We twirl and dance together on the front lawn, and I know that I'm complete again.
All I needed was Sean.
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I really love this chapter, and I don't know why. I think it would make a good one-shot. Hehe. Much love,
Zoey-Bear